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[DEUGH Man]

Most depressing episode ever.

[KaiserShep]

Just saying something is special in a previous episode isn't foreshadowing. Foreshadowing is like when Ned finds the dead direwolf with a stag antler in its neck.

 

The show just teleported cavalry into Winterfell. Simple as that. It also teleported previously melted snow right under the wall so Theon and Sansa could land on it.

 

You have this all wrong. Stannis walked into the wrong spawn point at too low a level. No way was he any match for Ramsay's godmode horde. 

[Fishy]

Yeah my sister called me and yelling inside my poor ear drums. I think they just lost a viewer lol. Or maybe two 

[TobiTobsen]

One would think he would do that. Especially since Bron is onboard and he would know exactly what poison was used.

 

Bronn was to busy thinking about that "bad *****"^TM

[panzerwzh]

This whole season is pretty bad. Obviousness the pacing, plot changing and character demolition are pretty horrible.

[Obadiah]

I think by now we can tell this show is a big long tragedy, and since no one is "perfect", they all die and the White-walkers win.

[Il Divo]

It will change nothing, because this whole murder case does not happen in books, hence again is fully retarded. First Doran Martell is a master strategist and planner, and Marcella is a crucial pawn for him when his own daughter tries to do something stupid he stops it way ahead. Not to say let sand sake free from cell then kiss the VIP before they departed. And Jamie is not where near Dorm not to say the stupid confession between Marcella and himself could bring down the Lannister dynasty immediately. 

 

Just to lay this out: Doran is not a master strategist by any stretch in the books. He's a leader who doesn't throw himself into pointless conflicts, but has this unfortunate habit of monologuing about how he's been planning House Lannister's destruction for 20+ years, while in fact making no useful moves toward that end. 

 

I like his dialogue in the books, but I wish they'd left him as this leader who cares more about keeping his people alive, instead of this guy who thinks he's an Avatar of Vengeance pretending to be an Angel. I raised my eyebrow at his "Viper and the Grass" speech in the books. 

[Tyrannosaurus Rex]

[Olly stabs  Jon]

 

For the potatoes.

 

Also

 

Reader

 

Your false plot is dead, reader. It and all its characters were smashed in 10 weeks of episodes. I have its ending. Tell its author.

 

Your false plot's themes are dead. Their metaphors smeared upon the walls of Winterhell. Come see them, reader. Your false plot lied, and so did George RR Martin. You told the world Sansa was getting smarter. Instead she went to Winterhell to be raped by Ramsbo.

 

I will have my shocking moments back. If you want the ending to your story, come and get it. I have it on HBO for all the world to see, proof of your lies. The network is greedy, but we have made a promise to spoil the 7 terrible books that started this series in Winterhell.

 

I want my gasps back. I want the false plot’s canon. I want to remove as many fantasy elements as possible. I want more whores.

 

I want to exploit them, their naked bodies. And I want my Saint Tyrion. Send them to me, reader, and I will not trouble you or your nerd friends. Keep them from me, and I will cut out your story’s heart and eat it.

 

Benioff the Arrogant,

 

Trueborn author of A Song of Ice and Fire.

 

 

 

link to source.

[TobiTobsen]

Gotta agree with MordredDayne from the ASOIAF forum:

 

Spoiler

 

Stannis' Camp

OK, so nearly HALF of Stannis' men deserted in the night with all the horses and nobody is telling him until the middle of the morning? I guess they didn't want to interrupt his beauty rest. Also, the King's wife was able to slip out of the tent and hang herself by her fallopian tubes for being such a woman and nobody saw her or tried to stop her. Then Mel rides out of camp and nobody tries to bring her back. Sure. I guess it makes sense to walk to WF, seeing as it was only about a half a mile down the road. Then came the battle that wasn't. How awkward was that. Show the beginning of the battle and just cut to the aftermath and hope that no one notices? Oh Brienne, if you had only kept up your 87 hour vigil another of couple of minutes you...probably would have never seen that tiny ass candle from a mile away. It's OK though, because you got to play Brienne the Executioner. OR DID YOU? DUN DUN DUN

 

Braavos
So it's not enough to have Meryn Trant into little girls. He also has beat them with sticks? I guess the audience can't be trusted to fully hate him based on his ephebophilia alone. Then Arya has to go completely horror movie killer on him and give this clumsy list speech because they already blew the Lommy Greenhands scenario a while ago. It's cool though, because apparently you can just take one of those faceless men masks and slip it on no problem. Nobody even locks that room or checks them or anything, and there certainly doesn't have to be an elaborate surgical ritual surrounding it. Then Arya had a full blown LSD trip and I'm not sure what happened.
 

Dorne
This was by far the worst scene of the episode. Did anyone else pick up on poisoned lipstick right after that long goodbye kiss on the mouth? I'm actually glad Myrcella was poisoned and died, because if I had to go through more of that "Myrcella knows Jaime is her dad and doesn't give a ****" I was going to legit poison myself. Jaime "I sound like an idiot." Pretty much. Who knew that Tyene's "bad *****" line to Bronn wouldn't be the most absurd thing about this scene? Also, apparently all antidotes in Dorne must be worn on a tiny chain around the neck. It is law. It's going to be pretty weird for Ellaria when they turn that boat right around and bring it back to Dorne and say, "Hey, Myrcella was poisoned. You wouldn't by any chance know anyone who is really good at poisoning people and might have had motive and opportunity, would you?"

 

Meereen
Hey guys, Greyworm is back! And apparently the Meereenese will listen to him...for some reason. And the Unsullied are the only thing keeping this city from tearing itself apart, even though all they do is constantly get stabbed over and over again. Don't worry though, because High Valyrian speaking St. Tyrion is going to fix everything while Daario and Jorah go on a buddy trip to find Dany. Also, Varys is back! It's like one big family reunion...in that it makes me want to drink heavily. Elsewhere, Dany has to deal with a sleepy Drogon until she's surrounded by a khalasar riding all of the horses stolen from Stannis' camp. Don't worry though, because she totally left a ring clue for them. This was completely better than them finding her eating meat in the shadow of her dragon like a badass.

King's Landing
I actually have to give credit here and say that I thought that the Walk of Shame was pretty well done. Lena Headey acted her ****** ass off. I found it as upsetting as its book's counterpart. My only minor nitpicks have to do with the FM beating people out of the way and the fact that Qyburn can apparently appoint a new member of the Kingsguard even though none of them have died. Also, I like Carol's fun summer haircut.

 

Winterfell

Who knew that a giant corkscrew was the perfect way to pick a lock. And Sansa can just wander through the middle of WF without anyone questioning what she's doing or why she's not locked in her room. Everyone except for awkward bow wielding Myranda, though. Just...**** this whole scene. I don't even want to talk about it. It was as absurd as the yelp Myranda gives as she hits the ground. As absurd as Theon's sudden change of character. As absurd as jumping 100 feet down into a drift of snow that somehow exists despite the fact that we saw maybe an inch on the ground during the battle.

The Wall

Poor dumb Jon. He doesn't understand why Sam needs to go all the way down to Oldtown to become a maester for some reason. I mean, it certainly couldn't be his idea or anything. Then they have to have a bonding moment over Sam totes tapping that. Seriously, this is full on half of the Wall scene and it's so ****** stupid. Oh, and apparently Mel can totally ride a horse from just outside of WF to the wall in less than a day. That's not ****** ridiculous at all. Luckily Olly is there to take Jon to the Benjen trap. Then all we need is a revolving door of people stabbing Jon in the stomach while he doesn't do anything. The place of honor of course being reserved for Olly, the most important character and probably Lord Commander elect. I wish I couldn't believe that they took Jon's epic last scene from ADWD and turned it into this below mediocre ****. They ****** made Jon's last word OLLY instead of Ghost?

 

I would just have to add: Where exactly did Melisandre get the horse? Did she happen to find the last horse in the whole camp and poor old Stannis has to walk to his defeat and death?

 

[KaiserShep]

Melisandre sacrificed a rabbit and created a horse out of a fallen tree trunk. 

[Tyrannosaurus Rex]

All hail King Balon Greyjoy, victor of the war of the five kings by attrition!

[Rawgrim]

Gotta agree with MordredDayne from the ASOIAF forum:

 

Spoiler

 

I would just have to add: Where exactly did Melisandre get the horse? Did she happen to find the last horse in the whole camp and poor old Stannis has to walk to his defeat and death?

 

 

That sums it off rather well.

[panzerwzh]

Just to lay this out: Doran is not a master strategist by any stretch in the books. He's a leader who doesn't throw himself into pointless conflicts, but has this unfortunate habit of monologuing about how he's been planning House Lannister's destruction for 20+ years, while in fact making no useful moves toward that end. 

 

I like his dialogue in the books, but I wish they'd left him as this leader who cares more about keeping his people alive, instead of this guy who thinks he's an Avatar of Vengeance pretending to be an Angel. I raised my eyebrow at his "Viper and the Grass" speech in the books. 

I disagree, Doran has long term plan, right after Robert's rebellion if it is not Doran, house Martel could doomed (former Queen and dead loyalists). Right now, after so many years house Stark gone, Lannister is bascily done, Baratheon gone,  Tyrell has a vacant hope for the throne, Targaryen is long gone. But house Martel's force is basically intact. If that is not strategist I do not what strategist is. Him does not make aggressively move toward Westros political influence is simply because it is not their time (again former loyalists and Queen's family) , and Doran is that kind of person would not show his hand until there is a clear winner. Compare to the long term prosperity of house Martel, throw everything for red viper's reverence is stupid and shortsighted. And again there is not plan could grantee to work out 100% in Westros as well as real world, but that does not mean Doran is not a master strategist.   

[Solace]

I personally think Drogon is already being controlled by Bran.

[Rawgrim]

I disagree, Doran has long term plan, right after Robert's rebellion if it is not Doran, house Martel could doomed (former Queen and dead loyalists). Right now, after so many years house Stark gone, Lannister is bascily done, Baratheon gone,  Tyrell has a vacant hope for the throne, Targaryen is long gone. But house Martel's force is basically intact. If that is not strategist I do not what strategist is. Him does not make aggressively move toward Westros political influence is simply because it is not their time (again former loyalists and Queen's family) , and Doran is that kind of person would not show his hand until there is a clear winner. Compare to the long term prosperity of house Martel, throw everything for red viper's reverence is stupid and shortsighted. And again there is not plan could grantee to work out 100% in Westros as well as real world, but that does not mean Doran is not a master strategist.   

 

House Grejoy is still up and about. Thy didn't do much during the war, after all. They got a letter from Ramsey, that's it.

[Ozzy]

I don't think Bran's network coverage extends to Essos. 

[Teddie Sage]

Was I supposed to be flinched with horror with last night's episode? Because honestly, all I could do at the end is roll my eyes. For the first time since I started this series, (well, after last week's episode) I can safely say that I'm unimpressed. The highlights of the episode for me was Arya giving who's-that-face what he deserved and Brienne getting her revenge. Other than that, the rest was just "meh". I'm not even worried about any characters, it's like I'm expecting all of them to die by the end. Either I developed nerves or steels, either I'm just growing bored of Game of Thrones.

[panzerwzh]

House Grejoy is still up and about. Thy didn't do much during the war, after all. They got a letter from Ramsey, that's it.

Yup, the Greyjoys are belonged to MIA now, there is not chance they could be back in next season. So Screen MAGICA!

[Il Divo]

I disagree, Doran has long term plan, right after Robert's rebellion if it is not Doran, house Martel could doomed (former Queen and dead loyalists). Right now, after so many years house Stark gone, Lannister is bascily done, Baratheon gone,  Tyrell has a vacant hope for the throne, Targaryen is long gone. But house Martel's force is basically intact. If that is not strategist I do not what strategist is. Him does not make aggressively move toward Westros political influence is simply because it is not their time (again former loyalists and Queen's family) , and Doran is that kind of person would not show his hand until there is a clear winner. Compare to the long term prosperity of house Martel, throw everything for red viper's reverence is stupid and shortsighted. And again there is not plan could grantee to work out 100% in Westros as well as real world, but that does not mean Doran is not a master strategist.   

 

No plan works out 100%. That doesn't mean that Doran's plan isn't half-assed. It was essentially sit back, do nothing, and hope some other radical conflict would break out to leave Westeros devastated. And he's not like Varys or Littlefinger who actively work to bring about said conflicts, demonstrating their skills as manipulators. 

 

Doran's fault is not keeping his armies and people out of the war. He's far calmer and level-headed than Oberyn in that regard. It's that he thinks that he's achieving some grandiose scheme "plotting the down fall of House Lannister for 20 years" in his words, when in fact some of his moves were quite stupid. Marriage pacts between Viserys and Arianne Martell? Sending Quentyn off to Dany? Letting Oberyn go off to King's Landing? What has he done in these last 20 years to ensure the destruction of House Lannister, in any active sense? 

[KaiserShep]

Was I supposed to be flinched with horror with last night's episode? Because honestly, all I could do at the end is roll my eyes. For the first time since I started this series, (well, after last week's episode) I can safely say that I'm unimpressed. The highlights of the episode for me was Arya giving who's-that-face what he deserved and Brienne getting her revenge. Other than that, the rest was just "meh". I'm not even worried about any characters, it's like I'm expecting all of them to die by the end. Either I developed nerves or steels, either I'm just growing bored of Game of Thrones.

 

 

My main gripe with the Arya plot, other than her sudden Mission Impossible face mask, is Trant himself. I mean, the guy was a tool from the get go, but it seemed like at every opportunity his douche points were just accruing with some serious interest. Yeah I'm a jerk to everyone, including my own men. I like little girls, and not only do i like little girls, I get off on beating them! Look at me I'm the supreme God King Douchius Maximus! Bow before me and seethe in your hatred. He wasn't so much a character anymore than he was a walking ham waiting to be carved. 

[Ozzy]

Yup, the Greyjoys are belonged to MIA now, there is not chance they could be back in next season. So Screen MAGICA!

 

Nah, I think it's fairly safe to assume that we'll be seeing the Greyjoys next season given some of the casting news that has been revealed thus far. 

 

Spoiler

There's a role that sounds suspiciously like Euron.

[Fishy]

For the first time im genuinely rooting for cersei. Shes horrible but the walk wasnt justice. No mercy but no cruelty is my motto. What an odd turn of events.

 

 

Seriously I think it what she needed. All that big huge ego she carried all the time. The untouchable Cersei of house Lannister. Better and higher than everyone. All the **** she did. If she can drop a bit from her high horse it might do her good. 

[God]

Yeah, but no one asked for a tired, cliched political comparison to the Bush administration.

 

That's like 3 degrees off of Godwinning.

 

I reported him for flame bait there. 

[Rawgrim]

Nah, I think it's fairly safe to assume that we'll be seeing the Greyjoys next season given some of the casting news that has been revealed thus far. 

 

Spoiler

There's a role that sounds suspiciously like Euron.

 

Book-Euron got cast last season, I believe. Not sure what the show will do with him though. Probably send him to Dorne, I guess.

[God]

Would you two just hatefuck already? Jesus RR Christ.

 

Hey, leave me out of that man. I said nothing on it.