TIM: "Tell me, what's the status on that package I sent for?"
Cerberus Agent: "The bourbon and cigarettes? I... eh, hm..."
TIM: "Spit it out."
Cerberus Agent: "It's... well... the ship was raided."
TIM: "What?
Raided? By whom?"
Cerberus Agent: "We have no physical confirmation, but the person was wearing a N7 armor variant."
TIM: "That's... do you have
anything else?"
Cerberus Agent: "The theif also left a note. Do you want me to-"
TIM: "Of course I
f***ing want you to read it."
Cerberus Agent: "S-sorry sir... it goes 'Sorry to you who were supposed to get this package. I need the cigarettes to look cool while saving the galaxy, and the booze helps me get into the right mindset. Anyway, I'm Commander
Conrad Verner... Shepard. Call me up if you need a refund or something."
TIM: *incomprehensible growling as he swipes the datapad out of her hand*
Cerberus Agent: "Should we find this Conrad Verner?"
TIM: "What? No! That's just a ruse! I know who Verner is - he's an incompetent loser trying to walk in Shepard's footsteps. He couldn't raid his own fridge if he tried."
Cerberus Agent: "But sir, I doubt..."
TIM: "This is the final insult I intend to suffer! Mobilize all death squads - find Shepard, kill him and bring his head to me on a silver platter!"
Cerberus Agent: "But sir, he just crossed over his own name and added Shepard's to the end."
TIM: "A ploy! Misdirection! I begrudged his decision to destroy the base, but I did nothing about it ouf of respect. Now he attacks my own personal weaknesses - my vices. How dare he, how dare that son of a b**ch!"
Cerberus Agent: "Sir, you're-"
TIM: "I LIVE ON A SPACE STATION IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE THOUSANDS OF LIGHTYEARS FROM THE CLOSEST LIQUOR STORE AND RELY ON A STEADY SUPPLY OF CIGS AND BOURBON. I WILL NOT TOLERATE THIS SH*T. HE WANTS A WAR, HE'LL GET ONE!"
Cerberus Agent: *sneaks off in fear while TIM goes into the worst withdrawal-rant of his lifetime*
And thus, a motive was born.
EDIT: nice of the site to garble my post after sending it
Modifié par Arcian, 19 avril 2011 - 08:23 .