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The TRUE diabolical mastermind of the Dragon Age series...


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#51
Fruit of the Doom

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iOnlySignIn wrote...

You know what the real revelation is?

The OP is actually Meredith. She is now a statue on exhibit in the Black Emporium. Due to Thaddeus's negligence, she has somehow grabbed the Box of Screaming in the Emporium and is now broadcasting her delirious ramblings over the Internet.

THAT is why OP is accusing everyone of being an Abominaiton/Apostate/Blood Mage/Evil Creature including the unapologetically handsome Knight Captain.

The OP also had a secret crush on Knight Captain Cullen during her former life as Meredith. All the unreturned affection (mostly due to Cullen's akwardness and her being his boss) and pent up desire is what finally drove her into madness.


H-HOW DO YOU KNOW THIS?!?!

Y-Y-YOU MUST  BE CONSORTING WITH BLOOD MAGES!!!  YES, BLOOD MAGES!!!!

YOU ARE ALL BLOOD MAGES!!!!!!!!

ALL OF YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUU!!!!!

Modifié par Fruit of the Doom, 11 avril 2011 - 02:59 .


#52
The Angry One

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So Meredith I have to ask.
You and Orsino.. did you ever..?

#53
Guest_thurmanator692_*

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The Angry One wrote...

So Meredith I have to ask.
You and Orsino.. did you ever..?

Dwarf your beard?
Arl your Eamon?
Shank your Jory?
Praise your maker?
Grope your Grinder?
Establish his cannon?
Kaddis your Kate?
Dampen your Divine?
Pamper your Paragon?
Grey your Warden?
Pudding your Peach?
Float your Frigate?
Explore your Deep Roads?
Satisfy a demand of your Qun?
Cup your Joining?
Or Master your Taint?

Modifié par thurmanator692, 11 avril 2011 - 03:07 .


#54
Cutlass Jack

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The Angry One wrote...

So Meredith I have to ask.
You and Orsino.. did you ever..?


Lick a lamp post in winter?

#55
The Angry One

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Yes, all of that.

#56
primero holodon

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Meh, It's not like he's all thet smart, I could shoot lasers from my eyes and  Throw fireballs at a cow and he'd probably assume I'm some sort of exotic chef

Modifié par primero holodon, 11 avril 2011 - 03:17 .


#57
Fruit of the Doom

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Cutlass Jack wrote...

The Angry One wrote...

So Meredith I have to ask.
You and Orsino.. did you ever..?


Lick a lamp post in winter?


I've licked my share of lamp posts, and then some.


THEY WERE ALL BLOOD MAGE THRALLS!

#58
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The Angry One wrote...

Yes, all of that.

Why waste a perfectly good setup?

#59
Fruit of the Doom

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The Angry One wrote...

So Meredith I have to ask.
You and Orsino.. did you ever..?


On a more serious note, I kept thinking the same thing.  There should have been a Humorous Hawke dialogue option that led to an ending where they married and lived happily ever after.  They argued just like an old married couple.


Errrr... I mean...

BLOOOOOD MAAAAAAGES!!!!!!

#60
Silveryne

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The Angry One wrote...

KnightofPhoenix wrote...

This must be his dark overlord armor

Be afraid. For when he opens his eyes...you're dead. 


I've never heard such foolish nonsense, you should be ashamed.

Image IPB

AAHHHH!!!


Yea, and so t'was revealed that humanity had been abducted in its early years by the races of the galaxy and brought to the planet Thedas. There, the humans thrived and became the dominant group on Thedas, battling the local fauna, and enjoying the sweet pleasures of the world.
Yet it could not last. Humanity realized that, to combat the reaper threat, they needed more powerful biotics than they had. So Commander Shepard was sent to make contact with the races of Thedas, to utilize what they called "mages". When he landed, he discovered something abominable: the archdemons were reapers, living among humanity and had been trying to wipe them out for thousands of years!
Darkspawn versus Collectors and Husks: Epic Battle was begun. Shepard, the Warden, and Hawke took their stations to save the Galaxy and Thedas.
Darth Revan came along too because why-the-hell-not. So it was actually two galaxies and Thedas. So. Yeah!!!!!!!!

#61
The Angry One

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Silveryne wrote...

Yea, and so t'was revealed that humanity had been abducted in its early years by the races of the galaxy and brought to the planet Thedas. There, the humans thrived and became the dominant group on Thedas, battling the local fauna, and enjoying the sweet pleasures of the world.
Yet it could not last. Humanity realized that, to combat the reaper threat, they needed more powerful biotics than they had. So Commander Shepard was sent to make contact with the races of Thedas, to utilize what they called "mages". When he landed, he discovered something abominable: the archdemons were reapers, living among humanity and had been trying to wipe them out for thousands of years!
Darkspawn versus Collectors and Husks: Epic Battle was begun. Shepard, the Warden, and Hawke took their stations to save the Galaxy and Thedas.
Darth Revan came along too because why-the-hell-not. So it was actually two galaxies and Thedas. So. Yeah!!!!!!!!


And then the Spirit Monk arrives from across the sea and warns of the impending invasion of Bhaalspawn. :wizard:

#62
Cutlass Jack

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The Angry One wrote...

Silveryne wrote...

Yea, and so t'was revealed that humanity had been abducted in its early years by the races of the galaxy and brought to the planet Thedas. There, the humans thrived and became the dominant group on Thedas, battling the local fauna, and enjoying the sweet pleasures of the world.
Yet it could not last. Humanity realized that, to combat the reaper threat, they needed more powerful biotics than they had. So Commander Shepard was sent to make contact with the races of Thedas, to utilize what they called "mages". When he landed, he discovered something abominable: the archdemons were reapers, living among humanity and had been trying to wipe them out for thousands of years!
Darkspawn versus Collectors and Husks: Epic Battle was begun. Shepard, the Warden, and Hawke took their stations to save the Galaxy and Thedas.
Darth Revan came along too because why-the-hell-not. So it was actually two galaxies and Thedas. So. Yeah!!!!!!!!


And then the Spirit Monk arrives from across the sea and warns of the impending invasion of Bhaalspawn. :wizard:


This story needs a Hedgehog.

#63
Conduit0

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Pfft, Shepard would never last on Thedas. Any pansy can kill an alien from a distance with a gun, it takes real cojones to charge head long at a High Dragon with nothing but a steel sword in hand.

#64
Deztyn

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Vanguard Shepard would take that challenge!
CHAAAAARGE!!!!!!

Modifié par Deztyn, 11 avril 2011 - 03:41 .


#65
Fruit of the Doom

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Deztyn wrote...

Vanguard Shepard would take that challenge!
CHAAAAARGE!!!!!!


The dragon could exploit the Vanguard's one weakness... pathing errors.

"Can't target it!"  "Can't get a lock!"  "Can't target it!"  "Can't get a lock!"  "Can't target it!"

Modifié par Fruit of the Doom, 11 avril 2011 - 03:46 .


#66
Tainan7509

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Rifneno wrote...

That would be a hilarious twist. 

This + player would be like this :):huh::mellow::devil::ph34r:Ninja Bioware later

#67
Silveryne

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I see your Biotic Charge and raise you an elbow melee attack.

So fearsome. So strong.

Edit: Actually, it might be a punch. I don't know, but whatever it is, it brings back the good old days of playing Dark Forces with only the fists equipped. Punching the Star Wars sewer monsters in the face? Good times! Next up: punching the Archdemon in the face. Good times!

Modifié par Silveryne, 11 avril 2011 - 03:52 .


#68
Camenae

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Fruit of the Doom I <3 u! You always seem to be having so much fun. What's your secret?

#69
The Angry One

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Just call down the Mako and run over the High Dragon.
Yes I said Mako, not that plastic toy from ME2, the dragon would just have to glare at it and it'd probably catch fire and explode.

#70
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^ Agreed. Mass Effect 1's Thresher Maw > High Dragon.

Also, the Mako is Immune to Flanking and Stun. It is, however, extremely susceptible to Knockdown. The High Dragon only needs to flick a finger to send the Mako cartwheeling down the hillside.

Modifié par iOnlySignIn, 11 avril 2011 - 04:35 .


#71
KyleOrdrum

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*eyes thurmanator692* I'm on to you Morrigan!!!

#72
Fruit of the Doom

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Camenae wrote...

Fruit of the Doom I <3 u! You always seem to be having so much fun. What's your secret?


I am "questionably sane" and gay in more ways than one.

Modifié par Fruit of the Doom, 11 avril 2011 - 05:16 .


#73
Camenae

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Fruit of the Doom wrote...

Camenae wrote...

Fruit of the Doom I <3 u! You always seem to be having so much fun. What's your secret?


I am "questionably sane" and gay in more ways than one.


I'll settle for just the name of your dealer then.

#74
PantheraOnca

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Silveryne wrote...

Darkspawn versus Collectors and Husks: Epic Battle was begun.


This line now makes me think that DA3 will be an RTS.

Tevinter vs Qunari vs Orlais vs Ferelden vs Nevarra/Free Marches

#75
Fruit of the Doom

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Camenae wrote...

Fruit of the Doom wrote...

Camenae wrote...

Fruit of the Doom I <3 u! You always seem to be having so much fun. What's your secret?


I am "questionably sane" and gay in more ways than one.


I'll settle for just the name of your dealer then.


I DO HUGS NOT DRUGS