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DA2 is awesome. DA3 will be SUPER AWESOME!!!


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#1
Darkhour

Darkhour
  • Members
  • 1 484 messages
Dear customer,

Although we have read your concerns you need to realize that we are professionals.  Many gamers don't honestly know what they want.  You may think you don't like DA2, but in reality you do.  We here at Bioware are an AAA+ game developer. Do you know what that means? It means our **** does not stink. We make what we want to make and you have to deal. That's how it works. It is our game. Not yours. You have no right to dictate to us the future of the RPG genre (which we control).

We have, in fact, decided to change our course (although not because of any external influence. We could care less what players think).  We no longer desire the CoD crowd, not that we ever did in the first place. What we really want (and wanted all along) was the God of War crowd. DA3 has been in development for 2 months now is almost ready to go.

Streamlining decisions include:

1. No companions. Controlling multiple party members is too mentally tasking for the audience we wish to expand into, Our target audience tends to get confused as to which character they are supposed to be,

2. No armor choices. Players will wear the same thing throughout the game. Also, to complex for the common man who has not had an Ivy League education. We are not pandering to quantum physicists after all. However, you will be able to take off your character's clothes and look at their butts while they walk.

3. No weapon choices.  Players will have a single weapon throughout the entire game. Stat and Attribute numbers go right over most people's head.

4. No character creator.  Everyone will be a blonde haired, blue eyed, androgynous, hermaphrodite Asian female who looks, sounds and walks like like man with a horrible Jersey spray tan. We wished to please everyone and yet no one.

5. We have removed all heterosexual dialog. We want everyone to enjoy our romances and this seems to be the obvious direction to go in. Only male NPCs will proposition players which our San Francisco focus groups thought was very progressive and open-minded. We like being progressive and open-minded because it shows how great of a company we are. Furthermore all of the non- romanceable women in the game will have a G cup, wear knee high boots, a string bikini top and thong panties.

6. There will be no more dialog choices. Our target audience has enough on their hands in real life: Homework, football practice, who to take to the dance, their english essay, feeding the dog, explaining their C- to their parents, rather or not the ride in the front or back seat on Friday; they don't need any further stress.

7. Players will now move directly from level to level. No more hub areas. Similar to great games like Sonic the Hedgehog you will seamlessly teleport from one environment to the other. Our focus group said our target audience doesn't have the required attention span to walk around talking to NPCs and buying stuff. To quote one individual from our test group, "Ware da akshun @???"

8. We have decided to replace "intimate scenes" with hand holding scenes instead. The scene will shade to black as their fingers begin to interlock. Still too steamy for our target audience, but we wanted players to know that they were going steady.

9. We have increased the awesome factor. Many fans said that Varric’s telling of the story at the very beginning was the best part of the game.  So we have all but taken away stamina/mana and health. Players will start with all the talents they will ever need. We don't want to flood potential new customers with complex decisions like what talents to get. Have no fear, we streamlined it for you. You will fight like a Dragon Ball Z villain, think like Michael Bay.

10. Body explosions have been fixed. Prior to an all out explosion enemies will have an appendage dismembered with each attack you launch against them.  Blood will literal pour out of their wounds and will not fade away after time. You will literally be waste deep in blood and entrails. Explosions now splatter on the screen and block your view of the battle adding to the immense tactical gameplay. We have also introduced talents that are performed by button combinations as well as finishing moved ala Mortal Kombat!! AWESOME!!!
 
And last but not least, let me let you in on a little secret…
 
*SPOILER ALERT*
 
The Old God baby is in DA3 rather you sleep with Morrigan or not. She doubles back to Riordan’s room and got it on with him. You know the other grey warden that she seemingly completely ignores. Well, she didn't forget him; How could she? There were only 3 of them.
 
*END OF SPOILER*
 

Thank you all in advance for your future purchase of Dragon Age III.


Rick Sanchez
EA/Bioware Public Relations Manager

Modifié par Darkhour, 16 avril 2011 - 02:05 .


#2
David Gaider

David Gaider
  • BioWare Employees
  • 4 514 messages
Posting confrontational, inflammatory topics is the surest way to get ignored-- no matter how much of a point you think you have. Try screaming in someone's face in real life and see how closely they listen to your points.

Food for thought? Up to you.