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[Blackbaron15]

CHAPTER 1
Sarah’s mother always knew she was special. Of course by special she meant “f***in’ retarded”. Her long flowing locks were the color of sunlight, with her great phallic spikes erupting from her head. Sarah smiled and remembered all the memories; retarded like the stable dwarf she met in Orzammar.
“I really don’t know,” sighed Sarah.
She gleefully flung another Orlesian Dynasty Vase at the ancient oak tree to the north-south of the camp. The Keeper noted her vandalism and approached. His silken eagle-foot loin-cloth robes flowed behind him and his beautiful hair and face made him the admiration of the whole clan with his chiseled chin and five o’clock shadow, furrowed brow and almond hazel eyes. He screamed in fury at her with his southern Antivan accent.
“Ooooh you poor thing I hate your guts you stupid half-qunari stupid person. You are dumb because you have horns and because you are a woman who does not know how to park the Dalish carriages. Now get back to the roasting spit and make me an omelette from your stupid Qunari eggs!”
Sarah frowned and nodded in compliance and turned to walk away. As she left the Keeper noted her awsome boobage bouncing in the wind.
And then suddenly there were bandits and the whole Dalish camp died. She was taken prisoner because she looked valuable and she did not know what would happen to her and she was scared and she cried and she begged them to let her go but they ignored her under their black evil robes and their daggers and their evil magic.

TO BE CONTINUED!

[Virus43]

 This is a fantastic piece of literature, my good man.

Best wishes to you and your Qunari adventures!