And we were not sure weither they belong here or not, but it's almost fanfiction right?
So here you go, a sh!tload of jokes about Varric ( and some others) being a damn cool bro.
This just in: Varric's tears can defeat the blight!
- Too bad he never cries
Varric once sneezed – the result was the Deep Roads.
Varric frequently donates sovereigns to Lirene's ferelden imports. Just never his own.
Darkspawn sit around the campfire and tell Varric stories.
Fear of spiders is aracnaphobia, fear of tight spaces is chlaustraphobia, fear of Bianca is called Logic
There are no disabled people. Only the ones that have met Bianca
There used to be a street named after Varric and Bianca,
but it was changed because nobody crosses them and lives.
Death once had a near-Varric experience.
If you have five sovereigns and Varric has five sovereigns Varric has more money than you.
Varric's immune system single-handedly defeated the first blight. The rest of the battle was just for show
The reason the maker called himself "Maker" was because "Varric" was already taken
Varric grew a chest hair at the age of eighteen. Seconds.
There is no circle of life. Just a list of things Varric allows to live.
Varric has never kicked anyone's ass, but the mere sight of him makes you kick your own ass
There is no such thing as a lesbian, just a woman who never met Varric!
The commandments of the maker used to be called Varric and Bianca.
Varric put the laughter in manslaughter.
Varric once played chicken with a wall.....thus the first door was born.
Varric is so manly he can grow hair through his clothing.
Varric can drink from a sealed bottle.
If you can see Varric, he can see you. If you can't see Varric, may the Maker have mercy on your soul.
If Varric was a Healer- There would be no more sickness.
Once a hurlock threatened to eat Varric. Varric showed the hurlock
Bianca and the Hurlock proceeded to eat itself, because it would be the
less painful way to die.
Varric can punch his fist through trees and pull out arrows.
When Varric does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Thedas down.
Why did Varric cross the road? He didn't. All roads cross the path Varric is heading.
Varric does not procreate, he breeds
There is no death, there is just Bianca
Varric made a bet with Orsino, whoever loses an arm wrestling would have to gain 1000 pounds.
The archdemon's last joke was about Varric.
The Hero of Ferelden thought he had the power.....Until Varric Arrived.
Varric sweeps the floor using his chest hair.
There is only one thing Varric can't do, which is lose.
A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush. A bird in Varric's chest hair has achieved sainthood.
Wat is the quickest way to mans heart?
--Fenris' fist.
When Varric talks to a Dalish He doesn't speak elven. The Dalish, speaks Varric
Varric doesn't use pickup lines, he simply says, "Now."
Poison doesn't kill people. Bianca kills People.
Fenris' fist doesn't cut through flesh; flesh moves out of Fenris' way.
Varric has a six-pack in his chin.
Modifié par Fukairi, 17 mai 2011 - 07:21 .
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