Hate to burst your bubble but there are a few key parts you seem to have forgotten.
I can agree that the time frame was a nice one, but that in itself was highly underused -- you where still playing shorter periods of time and then you skipped another 3 years to the next part. Sure you can say that saving the world isnt too realistic and that would be true -- not many of us save the world on a regular basis after all -- but I am not so sure that saving a nation -- twice -- and starting a world war (or well continental war anyway) is much closer to home. But now im getting ahead of myself to let me take a step back.
You do not have to save the word to have an epic story, anything presented in the right way can be epic. Act 1's fight against poverty could have been made to the main goal of the game and turned into something epic itself -- and you would have something far more realistic then the story you have today. The game however opted to try and go for an episodic story that only had strong connections between Act 1 and Act 2. Act 3 however is more stand alone -- which could have worked just fine if it was the most developed Act -- sadly that is not the case.
As for choises mattering or not most choises I make IRL will have a consequence for me, one way or another -- it might not always be something I have forseen and might instead catch me blindsided but they are more definetly present IRL. You would expect the same to hold true for a game if it is supposed to be realistic, the fact that you deal with rulers and just about every influential person in Krikwall should just make the effect bigger -- at least on a personal level. Sure we dont have 100% control over everything in our lives, but then again you could use the same argument for Origins, I sure didnt have any control of the gaming world, sure it didnt really catch me by surprise but then again neither did DA2. I hate to bring up this game, but it really shows how you can make some seemingly random choice have consiquenses beyond your controll. Im am going to envoke The Witcher -- the first game not played the seconed game and i will not say that its the best game of all time or something like that cause I really dont think it is, but ill be damned if it didnt handle consiquences better then anything i have played to date.
You get a choice at the end of one quest that severly affects how another quest playes out over two hour later. At the time of you are making the choise you know nothing about the other quest or those that quest involves but your choice still affects them beyond your control. DA2 instead opted for 0% control making your choices more or less poitnless and having your character mearly reacing to events rather then being proactive about it and this is where I think the biggest change is.
Normaly you start out as reactive; your village is attacked and you have to react, your father was murdered and you react, the princess gets kidnapped by a giant firebreething turtelsaur and you react. During the course of the story however you start to become more proactive, seeking allies to further aid your goal, finding magical equipment to aid your quest and gathering more information that you will need to finish the game. Hawke was more or less just along for the ride, and could really not affect the outcome of anything, except the fate of his siblings which -- while nice -- was more up to chance then Hawke being proactively trying to do anything. Though I have to say that you where at least partly proactive in Act 1.
Now before I ramble on even further and possibly go off topic ill try to round this up.
There is a term called "uncanny valley" this is primaraly used in relations to videogames when talking about graphics, but the same consept holds true for any part of the game. For those of you who don't know the term, ill try to give a short explaination: when something unrealistic trys to be realistic there is a point where the belivability drops severly, even though it put more realism into its try then it previously did it suddenly becomes less belivable -- That is uncanny valley. Now im not saying that DA2 got near the uncanny valley in terms of the uncanny valley effect but what I will say that it felt just as unrealistic as Origins to me, though for different reasons. Still not a bad game though.
Also: sorry for any spelling errors
-TSD