Women are a mystery. Join Harty Boys in solving the riddle!
Lol.
I need some girl advice. How do I make girls laugh and keep them entertained?
Débuté par
mgs00
, juin 01 2011 07:56
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#53
Posté 01 juin 2011 - 08:06
n2nw
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Ggrrr wrote...
I never said you should play games,
Those are games.Ggrrr wrote...
Don't show too much interest, sometimes better to hide it completely;
Don’t give too much information about you away. Don’t tell her too much about you, let her wonder.
Ggrrr wrote...
I never said you should ........ not be yourself etc.
Some people aren't like these things and shouldn't have to be (especially if that is not what they want). And dressing well, appropriately, and/or with style is *highly* subjective.Ggrrr wrote...
You just listen, sometimes make fun of what she says, don't apologise for your jokes ever;
You said you lose self-confidence easily. That is a very bad thing;
Dancing lessons/yoga classes/ etc etc. Meet new people every day. Go out with 3-4 girls at once so you don't have to put your eggs in one basket;
Dress well, appropriately and with style
If you're not a bore that's ignoring your date and talking her ear off, you can be open and honest and there should still be LOTS of you that she will not get to know on the first several dates.Ggrrr wrote...
Playing Mr. Secretive? This is not a female (sex) fantasy, this is real life. I never said you should do something like this. But there is a certain thrill in the first talks and dates.
Modifié par n2nw, 01 juin 2011 - 08:07 .
#54
Posté 01 juin 2011 - 08:47
Volus Warlord
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KenKenpachi wrote...
Money
Good answer.
With women, it is hard to go wrong with copious amounts of money. They're absurdly shallow about such matters..
#55
Posté 01 juin 2011 - 09:01
Malanek
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Self deprecating humour. But then, I'm the last person you should listen to.
#56
Posté 01 juin 2011 - 11:25
Night Prowler76
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Monica83 wrote...
tease them
Does that work on you?
lmao
#57
Posté 01 juin 2011 - 11:34
naughty99
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Milana_Saros wrote...
I met my fiancé through an MMO several years ago. There was no pretending. There was no games.
Can I make this my signature? This is the most awesome quote I have ever seen on any forum
#58
Guest_PureMethodActor_*
Posté 01 juin 2011 - 11:40
Guest_PureMethodActor_*
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If this is a serious thread...
Honestly, I've been through a lot of the same experiences you have, OP, and I've been much more successful in the past few years and its for a couple key reasons...
1. self-confidence and not being a doormat
-I used to be completely selfless when it came to friends and girls I liked, and I was like this probably until a few years ago. While I felt extremely good as a person, the phrase "nice guys finish last" did apply to me. I've been involved with a lot of women who used me, and they were, at most, emotional affairs, nothing solid, and because I didn't have the self-esteem to fully realize I was being used, and that I figured if I could just be even nicer, that each girl would have come around. Sadly it wasn't the case. This is true with all things, and not just relationships: If you don't take care of yourself, you'll just get constantly steamrolled. So yeah, the first tip would be to take care of yourself. There's obviously nothing wrong with being nice to a girl, as thats a good thing, and you need to do that... but don't overdue it to the point where you're living FOR them. Its unattractive and allows yourself to be taken advantage of more easily.
2. Build a rapport with someone you like
-building a connection, or (even better) finding one, is a key part of dating and building relationships. This relates to the whole "if such-and-such happens, then they're not right for you" thing. That has some truth to it. If you're talking to a woman and getting to know her, and it just feels like you're just getting to know someone and that's it, then you have an uphill battle with getting her to notice you. Its not impossible but its hard. The other side to this is if you're talking to someone, and you and her build a rapport (bonus points if its unique from any of her other friends), then she's far more likely to want to date you, or at least hang out with you. Being able to tell if you've built up a good rapport/connection with her is fairly easy: see if you and her have connected strongly in initial conversations based on similar interests, see if you and her have connected based on similar emotional experiences (don't reveal everything, though), and also fun... see if you and her have developed any inside-jokes. Basically, anything to differentiate YOUR interactions with her from others is a plus. Its basically what is widely known as "good chemistry" as I'm sure you've heard others say.
There's one thing I almost forgot: don't be so afraid to make friends with girls. Its inevitable that with some girls you date, you'll be put in the friend zone. It goes back to what I said about rapport/chemistry/connection; if there isn't much there, then its an uphill battle, not likely to go anywhere. Besides, having more female friends couldn't hurt, right? They could, in turn, help you in the dating world, too. And though its hard as hell, it IS possible to be moved up from the friendzone if you maintain the special connection you have with said woman as well as the friendship.
For example, I've built up a unique rapport with a girl I met a few months ago based on the fact that the day we met, we decided to freak some of our mutual friends out by faking a sexual encounter in one of the rooms of my friend's house. Since then we joke about fake sex all the time, talking about all of the fake affairs, fake encounters, and our fake relationship... Its all in good fun and I've become good friends with her. I WAS interested in her until I found out that she got out of a bad relationship and wasn't ready to date so soon. Doesn't matter to me, I made a valuable friendship, and whether or not anything develops from that, I'll still maintain the connection we have.
So in summary, my key things are- to take care of your needs as well as the needs of the women you're dating or want to date, try to build or find a strong connection/rapport early on, and don't try to completely avoid the friendzone as its inevitable in dating but can actually help you with dating
Honestly, I've been through a lot of the same experiences you have, OP, and I've been much more successful in the past few years and its for a couple key reasons...
1. self-confidence and not being a doormat
-I used to be completely selfless when it came to friends and girls I liked, and I was like this probably until a few years ago. While I felt extremely good as a person, the phrase "nice guys finish last" did apply to me. I've been involved with a lot of women who used me, and they were, at most, emotional affairs, nothing solid, and because I didn't have the self-esteem to fully realize I was being used, and that I figured if I could just be even nicer, that each girl would have come around. Sadly it wasn't the case. This is true with all things, and not just relationships: If you don't take care of yourself, you'll just get constantly steamrolled. So yeah, the first tip would be to take care of yourself. There's obviously nothing wrong with being nice to a girl, as thats a good thing, and you need to do that... but don't overdue it to the point where you're living FOR them. Its unattractive and allows yourself to be taken advantage of more easily.
2. Build a rapport with someone you like
-building a connection, or (even better) finding one, is a key part of dating and building relationships. This relates to the whole "if such-and-such happens, then they're not right for you" thing. That has some truth to it. If you're talking to a woman and getting to know her, and it just feels like you're just getting to know someone and that's it, then you have an uphill battle with getting her to notice you. Its not impossible but its hard. The other side to this is if you're talking to someone, and you and her build a rapport (bonus points if its unique from any of her other friends), then she's far more likely to want to date you, or at least hang out with you. Being able to tell if you've built up a good rapport/connection with her is fairly easy: see if you and her have connected strongly in initial conversations based on similar interests, see if you and her have connected based on similar emotional experiences (don't reveal everything, though), and also fun... see if you and her have developed any inside-jokes. Basically, anything to differentiate YOUR interactions with her from others is a plus. Its basically what is widely known as "good chemistry" as I'm sure you've heard others say.
There's one thing I almost forgot: don't be so afraid to make friends with girls. Its inevitable that with some girls you date, you'll be put in the friend zone. It goes back to what I said about rapport/chemistry/connection; if there isn't much there, then its an uphill battle, not likely to go anywhere. Besides, having more female friends couldn't hurt, right? They could, in turn, help you in the dating world, too. And though its hard as hell, it IS possible to be moved up from the friendzone if you maintain the special connection you have with said woman as well as the friendship.
For example, I've built up a unique rapport with a girl I met a few months ago based on the fact that the day we met, we decided to freak some of our mutual friends out by faking a sexual encounter in one of the rooms of my friend's house. Since then we joke about fake sex all the time, talking about all of the fake affairs, fake encounters, and our fake relationship... Its all in good fun and I've become good friends with her. I WAS interested in her until I found out that she got out of a bad relationship and wasn't ready to date so soon. Doesn't matter to me, I made a valuable friendship, and whether or not anything develops from that, I'll still maintain the connection we have.
So in summary, my key things are- to take care of your needs as well as the needs of the women you're dating or want to date, try to build or find a strong connection/rapport early on, and don't try to completely avoid the friendzone as its inevitable in dating but can actually help you with dating
#60
Posté 02 juin 2011 - 01:00
Chuvvy
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Having a humorous personality might help.
#61
Posté 02 juin 2011 - 01:04
Shirosaki17
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Why do you need to entertain her? Why don't you think she should have to entertain you? Who cares if you guys don't get along. You're not going to click with every woman you date. Just move on to the next one if that happens. Pretty girls are a dime a dozen. It's like an application process. If she doesn't pass, she doesn't get to see me naked. And it's on to the next one.mgs00 wrote...
I'm a nerd with low confidence who never had a girlfriend before and never had a friend who was a girl although I have talked and got along with them in places like school or work but I never really had a close relationship with any female outside of my family. If I went out on a date with a beautiful girl how can I make her laugh and keep her entertained so she won't be bored and have this akward silence which could f*** up my confidence even more? Btw, I'm almost 30.
Modifié par Shirosaki17, 02 juin 2011 - 01:06 .
#62
Posté 02 juin 2011 - 01:27
Senior Cinco
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Go to the restroom, and come out with a cucumber bulging, in the BACK of your pants.
#63
Posté 02 juin 2011 - 03:19
chunkyman
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I've never understood the "be yourself" argument. It works great if you're actually cool and interesting, but some people aren't appealing in the slightest if they act like who they really are. I would by a sweet car and memorize funny jokes. Love is overrated, just find a chick with low standards.
I'm in the same boat as you OP, and I think what you might need to consider is shifting priorities. Forget about finding the "right" girl, just find a tolerable gold digger.
I'm in the same boat as you OP, and I think what you might need to consider is shifting priorities. Forget about finding the "right" girl, just find a tolerable gold digger.
#64
Posté 02 juin 2011 - 03:48
Senior Cinco
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Slidell505 wrote...
Having a humorous personality might help.
This^
If I may suggest... Go to the local Fish / Tackle Shop and enroling in their bait program, until you get your masters.
#65
Posté 02 juin 2011 - 07:33
Chromie
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chunkyman wrote...
I've never understood the "be yourself" argument. It works great if you're actually cool and interesting, but some people aren't appealing in the slightest if they act like who they really are. I would by a sweet car and memorize funny jokes. Love is overrated, just find a chick with low standards.
I'm in the same boat as you OP, and I think what you might need to consider is shifting priorities. Forget about finding the "right" girl, just find a tolerable gold digger.
Oh man. You made me tear:O
#66
Posté 02 juin 2011 - 07:48
Milana_Saros
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naughty99 wrote...
Milana_Saros wrote...
I met my fiancé through an MMO several years ago. There was no pretending. There was no games.
Can I make this my signature? This is the most awesome quote I have ever seen on any forum
You just had to, didn't you? <_<
And please, take it off of your sig. I don't really want some stranger to run around with my relationship story in their damn signature. Rather tasteless.
What I obviously meant was that meeting someone without actually meeting them in person, doesn't really leave much room for pretending and games if you're being serious.
Shirosaki17 wrote...
Why
do you need to entertain her? Why don't you think she should have to
entertain you? Who cares if you guys don't get along. You're not going
to click with every woman you date. Just move on to the next one if that
happens. Pretty girls are a dime a dozen. It's like an application
process. If she doesn't pass, she doesn't get to see me naked. And it's
on to the next one.
I have to agree with this. I didn't feel like gaming last night so I went to Dr.Phil's website to read the hilarious dating advice. Made me want to vomit.
It's as if the whole dating scene should be about putting up a better image and finding strategies to pleasing complete strangers just to get a good date. How the hell is that supposed to work in the long run?
The "go out to new places or find new hobbies" thing for starters puts me off. Why would anyone go to some place they never go just to meet someone? You would basically have a starting point where you meet someone who likes something you never do. Doesn't it make much more sense to do what you do and eventually meet someone through those circles? Chances are, you might actually have something in common.
Modifié par Milana_Saros, 02 juin 2011 - 07:59 .
#67
Posté 02 juin 2011 - 07:53
A Crusty Knight Of Colour
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chunkyman wrote...
I've never understood the "be yourself" argument. It works great if you're actually cool and interesting, but some people aren't appealing in the slightest if they act like who they really are. I would by a sweet car and memorize funny jokes. Love is overrated, just find a chick with low standards.
I'm in the same boat as you OP, and I think what you might need to consider is shifting priorities. Forget about finding the "right" girl, just find a tolerable gold digger.
Sounds like your ideal woman is a hooker.
In all seriousness, PureMethodActor has some good advice... God knows why he wasted his time typing it up in a thread like this, though.
#68
Posté 02 juin 2011 - 08:05
k177sh0t
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This might help you out a bit - http://www.neogaf.co...ad.php?t=414419
Not sure if the OP is serious though
Not sure if the OP is serious though
#69
Posté 02 juin 2011 - 08:32
naughty99
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Milana_Saros wrote...
naughty99 wrote...
Milana_Saros wrote...
I met my fiancé through an MMO several years ago. There was no pretending. There was no games.
Can I make this my signature? This is the most awesome quote I have ever seen on any forum
You just had to, didn't you? <_<
And please, take it off of your sig. I don't really want some stranger to run around with my relationship story in their damn signature. Rather tasteless.
What I obviously meant was that meeting someone without actually meeting them in person, doesn't really leave much room for pretending and games if you're being serious.
OK, removed at your request.
I understand what you meant to say, but I think it is pretty awesome how you phrased that.
For those of us who have a healthy dating life, certainly. if it ain't broke why fix it.Milana_Saros wrote...
The "go out to new places or find new hobbies" thing for starters puts me off. Why would anyone go to some place they never go just to meet someone? You would basically have a starting point where you meet someone who likes something you never do. Doesn't it make much more sense to do what you do and eventually meet someone through those circles? Chances are, you might actually have something in common.
On the other hand, for those who are either not happy with the caliber of the people they are meeting or not meeting enough new people, IMO nothing wrong with taking up some new recreational activity or joining some meetup group or whatever as long as it's something they think they will enjoy anyways.
Modifié par naughty99, 02 juin 2011 - 08:39 .
#70
Posté 02 juin 2011 - 08:34
Senior Cinco
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Hire a comedian, to stand in for you, on your date.
#71
Posté 02 juin 2011 - 09:04
Shirosaki17
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The "be yourself" argument makes sense for a lot of reasons. You don't want to pretend to be someone else forever do you? Say you pretend to be someone else for a few months until you're in a good relationship. Eventually, she's going to get to know the real you. If she doesn't like you, she's just going to end up leaving you, and you'll end up heartbroken. Also, I imagine pretending to be someone else in a relationship makes the relationship a lot less satisfying since she doesn't actually like you.chunkyman wrote...
I've never understood the "be yourself" argument. It works great if you're actually cool and interesting, but some people aren't appealing in the slightest if they act like who they really are.
Another thing about being yourself, is it takes confidence to be yourself. If you're confident in yourself why would you need to pretend to be someone else? She's either interested or not. No big deal.
#72
Posté 02 juin 2011 - 09:25
Shirosaki17
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It depends I think. I workout a lot and there aren't a lot of females at the gym, nor am I really looking to meet anyone there, as it would just distract me from my workout. Same with gaming. Sitting on my butt gaming isn't going to get me to meet new people.Milana_Saros wrote...
The "go out to new places or find new hobbies" thing for starters puts me off. Why would anyone go to some place they never go just to meet someone? You would basically have a starting point where you meet someone who likes something you never do. Doesn't it make much more sense to do what you do and eventually meet someone through those circles? Chances are, you might actually have something in common.
I don't really see this whole socializing over the internet as a good medium for meeting people either. I mean I could meet a woman on one of these gaming websites or a fitness website and it wouldn't matter because I'm on the other side of the planet.
If you're interested in trying something new, then I don't see a problem with trying it out. Or if you think doing something as a one time thing could be a fun experience, then go for it. There's a lot of fun stuff out there. You shouldn't do something you're not interested in though.
#73
Guest_Gurris_*
Posté 02 juin 2011 - 09:35
Guest_Gurris_*
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First, build up your confidence. Speak to people you don't know at the mall or the bar, preferably girls. Go to the gym and work yourself into shape and go do some skydiving. Don't want to read the posts but you aren't thinking in the right direction. You shouldn't need to make an effort to keep the ladies entertained. Those things comes naturally when you are confident and don't try to be anyone else than you are.
#74
Posté 02 juin 2011 - 09:36
Dariuszp
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Hehe 
Good advice from me. Let them talk Ask about their day and you got 1-2 hours off your back. Just from time to time say "yhym" or "yes" or "oh". First you can try random. With some experience you will catch right moment for "yhym"
You will got time to think about next topic
Make small review. Ask your friends about her, what she is doing etc. It's good to know about someone and it's easier to find good topic.
Experience, experience, experience. Dont think. Just try. You will fail, you will success, you will learn.
NEVER talk about computers or games. Well... some of them like this kind of things but most of them no.
DONT talk about work. It's boring in 99%.
Try to find something you can do together. Something not illegal if you can
Learn how to dance. You keep yourself and her entertained and you dont need to talk then And you dont hear all that "bla bla bla... she wear this ugly... bla bla bla... on last party like this... bla bla bla"...
Womens are like demo version.
Best part are disabled on the start
They were used by everyone
They have loot of bugs
They always screem that you should register them
And they have viruses like "cry", "guilty" and "jelous" etc. Very nasty. No antyvirus. Only temporary cleaner called beer
Good advice from me. Let them talk
Ask about their day and you got 1-2 hours off your back. Just from time to time say "yhym" or "yes" or "oh". First you can try random. With some experience you will catch right moment for "yhym" You will got time to think about next topic
Make small review. Ask your friends about her, what she is doing etc. It's good to know about someone and it's easier to find good topic.
Experience, experience, experience. Dont think. Just try. You will fail, you will success, you will learn.
NEVER talk about computers or games. Well... some of them like this kind of things but most of them no.
DONT talk about work. It's boring in 99%.
Try to find something you can do together. Something not illegal if you can
Learn how to dance. You keep yourself and her entertained and you dont need to talk then
And you dont hear all that "bla bla bla... she wear this ugly... bla bla bla... on last party like this... bla bla bla"...Womens are like demo version.
Best part are disabled on the start
They were used by everyone
They have loot of bugs
They always screem that you should register them
And they have viruses like "cry", "guilty" and "jelous" etc. Very nasty. No antyvirus. Only temporary cleaner called beer
#75
Posté 02 juin 2011 - 10:24
Milana_Saros
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Shirosaki17 wrote...
I don't really see this whole socializing over the internet as a good medium for meeting people either. I mean I could meet a woman on one of these gaming websites or a fitness website and it wouldn't matter because I'm on the other side of the planet.
I don't support it either. My "love story" is pretty much one of those dumb luck cases. I can't even believe it myself at times when looking back. But in general I frown at the idea of dating websites and the like.
If you're interested in trying something new, then I don't see a problem with trying it out. Or if you think doing something as a one time thing could be a fun experience, then go for it. There's a lot of fun stuff out there. You shouldn't do something you're not interested in though.
Indeed. However the "dating guides" seem to suggest that you should turn yourself into this over social being who does yoga and dancing and goes to new and fancy restaurants etc. That's going overboard with the advice. Then again, I don't think there are people who actually believe everything these supposed dating guides say....I hope.
I guess the most simple advice to give is to just live your life and do what you enjoy *shrug*
In a lot of dating shows there's this "counselor" who takes a group of women and visits supermarkets and restaurants with them, showing that "there are a lot of men in places you wouldn't expect". Ehhhh...quite desperate. It's a proven fact that when you are desperately trying to find someone, it shows. Then when you're just having a fun night out with your friends, you suddenly notice that there are a lot of people around that are interested in you.
Edit: I fail at writing today *sigh*
Modifié par Milana_Saros, 02 juin 2011 - 10:26 .
