327 réponses à ce sujet

[McBaal]

Judge: Commander Shepard. Or should i say former Commander Shepard?
Me: ****** off
Judge: I dare you...
Me: ****** off
Judge: Ok, you want it the hard way...
Me: ****** off
Judge:You are charged for the killing of 300.000 bat...
Me: ****** off
Judge:300.000 batarians and you will answer to this charges
Me: ****** off. You are just a lowlife pimp, not even worthy of my time
Judge: This argumentation will get you nowhere but in front of a firing squad commander!
Me: So i am a commander? Interesting.
Judge:...In case you didnt realize...
Me: ****** off
Judge: I am very disapointed about your behavior
Me: Lets just get this crap over with. You need someone to put the blame on, for things some miserable ****** did before. There is nothing left to say. So again: ****** off, i wont waste my time with a useless testemony.
Judge: If you want so. Commander Shepard, this court considers the evidence...
*Explosions interrupt the trial*
Me: Aww great. Just what i needed. Can someone give me a gun please? I have a war to fight.

Modifié par McBaal, 13 juin 2011 - 07:49 .

[darknoon5]

AwesomeEffect2 wrote...

iakus wrote...

Council Lawyer: Commander Shepard you have been accused of being a member of Cerberus…
 
Shepard: Ah, yes, “Cerberus.” The former Alliance black ops organization allegedly gone rogue and now seeks human advancement by any means necessary. I have dismissed that claim.
 
Council: Really? Then explain that Cerberus symbol on the side of your ship. And on the uniforms of the crew.  And the armor, and everything else on board.
 
Shepard: Is that the symbol for Cerberus? I thought it was the logo for Cord-Hislop Aerospace. I make a few extra credits providing advertising space for them.
 
Lawyer: Your crew are all known member of Cerberus.
 
Shepard: Really? My security team is composed mostly of nonhumans. The fact that you believe a human-centric terrorist group like this"Cerberus" would tolerate aliens on their ships shows just how fragile your mental
state really is.
 
Lawyer: Sir, this is a serious matter. You stand accused of destroying an entire star system as well as its Mass Relay…
 
Shepard: Everyone knows that’s impossible. The batarians are a very charismatic and persuasive people.  They convinced the Alliance that I was responsible. Just as they convinced you.
 
Lawyer: And you have an illegal, not to mention unshackled AI on board your ship.
 
Shepard: There's no evidence to say it's anything but a sophisticated VI. I tried to get one of those VIs that talk like me that are being sold on the Citadel. Never did receive it. So I made due.
 
Shepard: Look. I believe that you believe these charges. But that doesn’t make them true.

Lawyer: ::head explodes::

All credit goes to iakus.

...I lol'd:lol:

[CurrentlyUnknown]

OldMan91 wrote...
[Saren with a cravat]

Oh god, why can't I stop laughing.

[Fixers0]

My defense : Plot progression

[Whyp_2]

McBaal wrote...

Judge: Commander Shepard. Or should i say former Commander Shepard?
Me: ****** off
Judge: I dare you...
Me: ****** off
Judge: Ok, you want it the hard way...
Me: ****** off
Judge:You are charged for the killing of 300.000 bat...
Me: ****** off
Judge:300.000 batarians and you will answer to this charges
Me: ****** off. You are just a lowlife pimp, not even worthy of my time
Judge: This argumentation will get you nowhere but in front of a firing squad commander!
Me: So i am a commander? Interesting.
Judge:...In case you didnt realize...
Me: ****** off
Judge: I am very disapointed about your behavior
Me: Lets just get this crap over with. You need someone to put the blame on, for things some miserable ****** did before. There is nothing left to say. So again: ****** off, i wont waste my time with a useless testemony.
Judge: If you want so. Commander Shepard, this court considers the evidence...
*Explosions interrupt the trial*
Me: Aww great. Just what i needed. Can someone give me a gun please? I have a war to fight.

I actually laughed at this.

[CrimsonNephilim]

Judge: Commander Shepard. In light of your recent actions, you are being trialed on condemning 300,000 batarians to death, destroying the Alpha Relay which annihilated a nearby batarian colony, working the terrorist organization Cerberus, and betrayal of the Alliance. How do you plead to these claims?

Shepard: *reclined in chair with feet propped up on table in front reading the Mass Effect 3 guide*
Well according to this I should just stay put and....5....4....3....2....

Udina: Shepard, what the hell do you think yo--

*Reaper crashes through courthouse and chaos ensues*

Shepard: And there we go.

*Pulls out gun and jumps into action*

[CrybabyXD]

ill probably go paragon to route til the repears and do the turtian air qoute saying we have dismissed that claim.

[Bluko]

annihilator27 wrote...

Shepard: "I call Harbinger as a witness"
Harby busts into the building
Harbinger:" I willl defend you personally"

[Bailyn242]

Uh your Honor, I remember 1 if by land and 2 if by sea, how many lanterns was it for orbital assault?

[AngelicMachinery]

Use kinect, challenge Udina to a dance off.

[Lady Luck]

annihilator27 wrote...

Shepard: "I call Harbinger as a witness"
Harby busts into the building
Harbinger:" I willl defend you personally"

+100

[TomY90]

for my paragon shepherd.

I would go on a all mighty speech with no need of evidence saying

I saved Eden Prime, i became the first human spectre, I saved the Citadel and the galaxy from the Geth and Saren, I stopped the collectors from destroying our very own race... But above all else I showed what the alliance can do to benefit both humanities interests and the galaxy.

You may not believe me now but I helped the galaxy prepare for the greatest threat we have ever faced in our brief existence and the 300,000 bartarians helped to achieve this. If you do not believe me use evidence of my track record and what I have achieved for humanity as evidence enough.

On a humours side of things.

Use my facebook as evidence of contact with the reapers.... Harbringer is on my friends list.

[chris2365]

CrimsonNephilim wrote...

Judge: Commander Shepard. In light of your recent actions, you are being trialed on condemning 300,000 batarians to death, destroying the Alpha Relay which annihilated a nearby batarian colony, working the terrorist organization Cerberus, and betrayal of the Alliance. How do you plead to these claims?

Shepard: *reclined in chair with feet propped up on table in front reading the Mass Effect 3 guide*
Well according to this I should just stay put and....5....4....3....2....

Udina: Shepard, what the hell do you think yo--

*Reaper crashes through courthouse and chaos ensues*

Shepard: And there we go.

*Pulls out gun and jumps into action*

This

[Spacelion]

Depends if Judge Judy's judge. Shepard will be too busy browning his pants to even talk and ya'll know it.

[Kadzin]

Mr. C wrote...

Jury: "We find the defendant, Commander Shepard, GUILTY of genocide!
Anderson: "OBJECTION!"
Judge: "Denied."
*Reapers burst through the ceiling and cause general pandemonium*
Shepard: *Trollface* Problem, judge?"

lol this ^

[xX N7 Xx]

Blame Stosh...

[Foryou]

The Biotic God made me do it

[silentassassin264]

Sheparad: Err... I didn't do it.
Shepard: Oh, don't get me wrong. I'm not broken up about them dying, to be perfectly honest. Balak there made the funniest gurgle when he went down.
Judge: That's inhuman!
Shepard: Yes well...
Judge: Guilty!
Shepard: Yes well...
*Reapers enter
Shepard: Play me out Boo.

[RolandX9]

Two versions:

1) if not playing Arrival gives this option: "WTF are you taking about? Mass relays are indestructible, and I've never even *been* in that part of the galaxy."

2) if Paragons are really that hosed: "Guilty." The whole point is for Shepard to take the fall, and he doesn't know the Reapers are coming RIGHT THEN either...

[Admoniter]

annihilator27 wrote...

Shepard: "I call Harbinger as a witness"
Harby busts into the building
Harbinger:" I willl defend you personally"

Nothing in this thread will come close to being as funny as this.

[Legbiter]

I had a vision from the protheans so I had to kill all those batarians to stop the Reapers.

Yeah it's not looking so good for Shepard.

[JG The Gamer]

I'd hire Phoenix Wright.

[Richard 060]

Easy - just invite Kal'Reegar and Veetor to the trial. That oughtta do it...

[shepskisaac]

I call the Reapers to stop the trial.

[LastFadingSmile]

 You gotta play to your strengths. My Shepard's defense will go something like this.