56469 réponses à ce sujet

[Aristobulus500]

moreeman06 wrote...

lillitheris wrote...

There’s some Liara in today’s chapter too, but she’s still sad, dazed & confused.

…

Also we’re back to the ending again? :/

I don't think we ever really left:unsure:

I love Neeh's new .gif though:wub:

Edit:  wow this was a stupid top 
 
Liara T'Soni by:  LizaTigress  
http://lizatigress.d...-Soni-301447675 

What in the world is going on in this picture. Is Liara turning into the smoke monster from Lost.

[moreeman06]

Aristobulus500 wrote...

moreeman06 wrote...

lillitheris wrote...

There’s some Liara in today’s chapter too, but she’s still sad, dazed & confused.

…

Also we’re back to the ending again? :/

I don't think we ever really left:unsure:

I love Neeh's new .gif though:wub:

Edit:  wow this was a stupid top 
 
Liara T'Soni by:  LizaTigress  
http://lizatigress.d...-Soni-301447675 

What in the world is going on in this picture. Is Liara turning into the smoke monster from Lost.

wait does that mean we'll finally have our answers???

I just like how the artist did Liara's face, I'm not that big a fan of how she did the torso/outfit either

[Sarcastic Tasha]

I actually thought the Thessia mission was pretty good. I agree that it would have been nice to have a few missions on Thessia, but I did like the one we had. I felt really bad for the pilots especially. In my last playthrough I tried really hard to kill the harvesters in the hope of saving the last pilot, nearly got Shep killed and still failed miserably. I liked the change in tone from Rannoch to Thessia. On Rannoch Shep ends the Quarian/Geth war and kills a Reaper. But then on Thessia Shep gets pwned by Kai Leng (cheating bosh'tet) thus failing her mission and getting all those asari killed for nothing. I also loved angry Shepard when she got back to the Normandy.

[Akernis]

moreeman06 wrote...

Aristobulus500 wrote...

moreeman06 wrote...

lillitheris wrote...

There’s some Liara in today’s chapter too, but she’s still sad, dazed & confused.

…

Also we’re back to the ending again? :/

I don't think we ever really left:unsure:

I love Neeh's new .gif though:wub:

Edit:  wow this was a stupid top 
 
Liara T'Soni by:  LizaTigress  
http://lizatigress.d...-Soni-301447675 

What in the world is going on in this picture. Is Liara turning into the smoke monster from Lost.

wait does that mean we'll finally have our answers???

I just like how the artist did Liara's face, I'm not that big a fan of how she did the torso/outfit either

I just asumed it was work in progress, but I agree while it is somewhat strange from the neck down the face, especially the eyes, is done really well.

Modifié par Akernis, 15 mai 2012 - 11:50 .

[Erenbe]

Sarcastic Tasha wrote...

I actually thought the Thessia mission was pretty good. I agree that it would have been nice to have a few missions on Thessia, but I did like the one we had. I felt really bad for the pilots especially. In my last playthrough I tried really hard to kill the harvesters in the hope of saving the last pilot, nearly got Shep killed and still failed miserably. I liked the change in tone from Rannoch to Thessia. On Rannoch Shep ends the Quarian/Geth war and kills a Reaper. But then on Thessia Shep gets pwned by Kai Leng (cheating bosh'tet) thus failing her mission and getting all those asari killed for nothing. I also loved angry Shepard when she got back to the Normandy.

The mission itself was alright but if you compare the length of the Sanctuary mission (Miranda's side-mission) and Thessia.....the latter is rather short. I was surprised that something of such importance (the fall of an entire planet/civilization) was done in what felt like 10 minutes and in the Sanctuary mission you have almost endless gameplay. Maybe I am biased but that what it felt like. Or am I wrong in my assumption that Sanctuary was way longer than Thessia?

Also, the fight against Kai Leng was a joke  He should have been beaten there...simply for the fact that he threw Liara around. No one is allowed to throw Liara around! 

Modifié par Erenbe, 15 mai 2012 - 11:54 .

[lillitheris]

I love that picture, it’s really good… the blur should just be 5 mm lower on the left, slightly higher in the middle, and reaching further up to the dark part of the neck.

…

Also, yes, it’s ‘bondmate’ or just ‘mate’. No space.

Modifié par lillitheris, 16 mai 2012 - 12:03 .

[Sarcastic Tasha]

Erenbe wrote...

The mission itself was alright but if you compare the length of the Sanctuary mission (Miranda's side-mission) and Thessia.....the latter is rather short. I was surprised that something of such importance (the fall of an entire planet/civilization) was done in what felt like 10 minutes and in the Sanctuary mission you have almost endless gameplay. Maybe I am biased but that what it felt like. Or am I wrong in my assumption that Sanctuary was way longer than Thessia?

Also, the fight against Kai Leng was a joke  He should have been beaten there...simply for the fact that he threw Liara around. No one is allowed to throw Liara around! 

Sanctuary did feel longer, though I'm not sure if it was or not. Maybe Thessia was a bit easier too. Thessia's mission would have been even shorter if I hadn't been stopping to admire the view and to hear about all those artifacts in the temple. We may not have got much extra information about the asari in ME3 but I made sure I took it all in.

[Tyrannosaurus Rex]

Sarcastic Tasha wrote...

I actually thought the Thessia mission was pretty good. I agree that it would have been nice to have a few missions on Thessia, but I did like the one we had. I felt really bad for the pilots especially. In my last playthrough I tried really hard to kill the harvesters in the hope of saving the last pilot, nearly got Shep killed and still failed miserably. I liked the change in tone from Rannoch to Thessia. On Rannoch Shep ends the Quarian/Geth war and kills a Reaper. But then on Thessia Shep gets pwned by Kai Leng (cheating bosh'tet) thus failing her mission and getting all those asari killed for nothing. I also loved angry Shepard when she got back to the Normandy.

I thought Thessia was an absolute disaster.

The transistion from Rannoch is too jaring and happens too fast, instead of  bringing us back into the reality of the war slowly, we  only get one mission before heading off to fight Cerberus again. The Kai Leng fight is pathethicly executed and a huge letdown compared to what we would have got in the old script. The conversation with the VI is the last nail in the coffin regarding TIM as an character, as now he is not only indoctrinated, he also just a puppet of fate. The plot twist regarding the Asari is practicly dropped as soon as it was picked up, leaving us unsatisfied.

The Citadel coup was a warning sign, Thessia was when some rather large cracks started to show in the story.

It was just the battle for Earth was when it all crumbled together.

Modifié par Lizardviking, 16 mai 2012 - 12:09 .

[Obsidian Gryphon]

Sarcastic Tasha wrote...

I actually thought the Thessia mission was pretty good. I agree that it would have been nice to have a few missions on Thessia, but I did like the one we had. I felt really bad for the pilots especially. In my last playthrough I tried really hard to kill the harvesters in the hope of saving the last pilot, nearly got Shep killed and still failed miserably. I liked the change in tone from Rannoch to Thessia. On Rannoch Shep ends the Quarian/Geth war and kills a Reaper. But then on Thessia Shep gets pwned by Kai Leng (cheating bosh'tet) thus failing her mission and getting all those asari killed for nothing. I also loved angry Shepard when she got back to the Normandy.

I did kill the harvesters (took some doing but I was throwing everything + squad fire power at them). Makes no difference ; the Asari pilots were scripted to die. No one can be saved on Thessia ; the devs seemed to be pushing that point mighty hard in that mission that was doomed to fail.

Kai Leng should have been taken out at the Citadel takeover attempt. No one thought of "brushing" off Kai Leng against an obstacle? Or worst come to the worsst; Shep could just flip the aircar to throw him off; I doubt KL's spiderman. Or if not flip, waggle the aircar at steep angles or simply jounce the car (going up & down). I hate it when Shep's weapons and biotics didn't even come into play; it's like all of a sudden, she's armed with a tiny peashooter. It happened in Arrival a couple of times when Shep had LOS and only used a stupid pistol, missing the target with every shot.

[Yuqi]

N172 wrote...

fluffywalrus wrote...

Though everything else is perfect and spot on.

There is still another thing that is not perfect:
No alternative Maleshep-version.

*Sighs* Animating a scene like that is hard enough as it is.  And if neeh finds it easier to use fsehp that's fine but doing a scene like that is alot of work, in and of itself. I dont think it's fair to expect neeh to do versions of both.Just because someone prefers fshep or mshep dosn't make their work less perfect.

Besides Furean already does some awsome mshep/liara renders.

(Guys, as much as I like the animations can you just link them in  future. Some peopls computers can't handle them, like mine for instance).

@Sarcastic Tasha
Angry shep is ftw.

Modifié par Yuqi, 16 mai 2012 - 12:24 .

[Sarcastic Tasha]

Lizardviking wrote...

I thought Thessia was an absolute disaster.

The transistion from Rannoch is too jaring and happens too fast, instead of  bringing us back into the reality of the war slowly, we  only get one mission before heading off to fight Cerberus again. The Kai Leng fight is pathethicly executed and a huge letdown compared to what we would have got in the old script. The conversation with the VI is the last nail in the coffin regarding TIM as an character, as now he is not only indoctrinated, he also just a puppet of fate. The plot twist regarding the Asari is practicly dropped as soon as it was picked up, leaving us unsatisfied.

The Citadel coup was a warning sign, Thessia was when some rather large cracks started to show in the story.

It was just the battle for Earth was when it all crumbled together.

I liked that it was a really sudden change in tone. Shepard had killed two Reapers out of what? Thousands? But that had made her feel like she was winning. Thessia brough her back to reality in a rather spirit crushing way. Thessia was the point when I really started to think the ending was going to be grim.

The Kai Leng fight was crap, I was right there with Shep in thinking "its not fair." I liked TIM in ME2 but he was ruined in ME3. The asari secret wasn't quite as shocking as I was expecting. Although I'd already convinced myself that the twist would be that asari secretly have asari males that they use as slaves. I didn't know how that was going to relate the Reapers mind you. Thank the goddess I don't write for Bioware, things could have been even worse. 

[N172]

Yuqi wrote...

Just because someone prefers fshep or mshep dosn't make their work less perfect.

Ok, it seems that it was bad wording from my side, a simple "I whould prefer it with mshep, but its awesome nevertheless" should express my opinion better, should not have connected it to another ones opinion at all.

Modifié par N172, 16 mai 2012 - 12:59 .

[TheCrimsonSpire]

Man the rest of the forum is just making me depressed as of late, so I've decided to just hang around here for the time being.

Seriously, all this Liara hate, and dev hate is really starting to effect my mental barriers at this point :/

[Yuqi]

N172 wrote...

Yuqi wrote...

Just because someone prefers fshep or mshep dosn't make their work less perfect.

Ok, it seems that it was bad wording from my side, a simple "I whould prefer it with mshep, but its awesome nevertheless" should express my opinion better, should not have connected it to another ones opinion at all.

Ahh that's okay everyone has their bad wording days. I probably came off a little defensive  unintenionaly. I prefer broshep overall, but  I have a soft spot for freckleshep. It's odd but if you put her side by side with the other LI..it's not as astheticly pleasing, and the pyscology of colour has made freckleshep/liara spred like wildfire.

TheCrimsonSpire wrote...

Man the rest of the forum is just making me depressed as of late, so I've decided to just hang around here for the time being.

Seriously, all this Liara hate, and dev hate is really starting to effect my mental barriers at this point :/

Meh. it's not as bad as the DA2 forums were last year.

Modifié par Yuqi, 16 mai 2012 - 02:01 .

[Y3Y00]

 Hey, just posted my first fan-fic. It'd be much appreciated if you could check it out and give some feedback.
www.fanfiction.net/s/8120282/1/Shepard_Versus_The_Three_Words

Modifié par Y3Y00, 16 mai 2012 - 02:27 .

[Yuqi]

@Y300

It's good but needs some work.

Shepard stood there in awe, upon ( I would add a descriptive word after 'upon' like: seeing or witnessing.The reason you need that descriptive word is because you can't stand on the defeat of something.).the defeat of the grandiose and menacing behemoth.

My teacher use to bitc* at me for the same thing lol.

[Y3Y00]

Yuqi wrote...

@Y300

It's good but needs some work.

Shepard stood there in awe, upon ( I would add a descriptive word after 'upon' like: seeing or witnessing.The reason you need that descriptive word is because you can't stand on the defeat of something.).the defeat of the grandiose and menacing behemoth.

My teacher use to bitc* at me for the same thing lol.

Damn it! I hate attempting to be all fancy and then misusing some relatively simple words. But I really appreciate your help and feedback, nevertheless. Thanks.

[Yoshiyuki Ly]

Y3Y00,

Your story is endearing; solid effort for English not being your first language. Like Yuqi said, your grammar needs work. Totally understandable, so no worries. I can tell you have an extensive vocabulary, which is great, but diction is key imo. For example, Liara's speech is very proper. I don't think she's the type to say "I've got". "I have" is definitely what she'd say, I think. It's just a matter of getting her speech down. That either takes practice or an embarrassing amount of playthroughs, lol.

The pacing in the chapter was jarring, though I could follow it easily enough. Maybe a line-break would help? Just a suggestion. Solid endings to scenes goes a long way to help the reader stay on track.

Overall, it's very sweet. A good start. Your Shepard is emotional and I like that.

Modifié par Yoshiyuki Ly, 16 mai 2012 - 03:18 .

[fluffywalrus]

Y3Y00 wrote...

 Hey, just posted my first fan-fic. It'd be much appreciated if you could check it out and give some feedback.
www.fanfiction.net/s/8120282/1/Shepard_Versus_The_Three_Words

It's pretty decent. I'll echo Yuqi in criticizing that opening line. Just doesn't flow well.
Also, don't be afraid to use semi colons. They break sentences up into their natural portions and are extremely helpful in descriptive writing.

One sentence (or part of it, at least) that could use some work was:
"... she said, while Liara was smiling innoncently seeing how the Commander is nervous. ..."
This reads awkwardly to me. One thing that has helped me avoid this phrasing is to treat your fic like you're telling someone a story, out-loud and in person.Generally, if you can't talk out a statement without stumbling over which tense you're using, it needs fixing. That's really all it needs, and I know when I wrote stories in my creative writing classes, I always mixed tense, and my teacher would lecture me fiercely over it.
If this sentence were to become something like...
"...she said, Liara smiling innocently at the commander's nervousness. ..."
it would read more fluidly, make a bit more sense.

Also, some spots could use more descriptors.
-"Liara pulled Shepard and kissed" reads awkwardly, to me. When you're describing intimate moments like this, it helps to have some flair added to it, or to provide some clarity.  Something like "Liara pulled Shepard close and kissed her" would probably be my bare minimum, as it gives all the basic information. This is a pairing that the reader is supposed to care about. They want to know the subtle details.

Don't be afraid to play with the wording. Even if you're going for something abrupt, aggressive, it needs to be controlled or the effect will be lost on the reader.

Also, separate your paragraphs a bit. It makes it easier to read. After every main bit of dialogue, break before the next bit of dialogue.. (or at least, that's what I do)

And generally, Liara has precise dialogue. She doesn't use...what are they, contractions? She would say "I have" before she would say "I've".

There were other spots in the fanfic I had similar issue with, but overall the story is fine. It's just the sentence structure and grammar bits that are holding you back. It takes a bit to get a good feel for them, it'll come with time and practice.

Modifié par fluffywalrus, 16 mai 2012 - 03:57 .

[Yoshiyuki Ly]

TheCrimsonSpire wrote...

Man the rest of the forum is just making me depressed as of late, so I've decided to just hang around here for the time being.

Seriously, all this Liara hate, and dev hate is really starting to effect my mental barriers at this point :/

I think I counted four hate threads over the past two days, and one of them was necromanced. I recall seeing two right next to each other. It's getting on my nerves. Mass Effect really tries to give the player agency, so it's spoiled a lot of the fans. Then when we have no control over something that (some) people dislike, they get all uppity about it.

Anyway. My fanfic profile is in my sig. On-going FemShep/Liara story for anyone who's interested. It's not the norm, and neither is my style. Hopefully the hate threads will die down some time soon.

[moreeman06]

fluffywalrus wrote...

Y3Y00 wrote...

 Hey, just posted my first fan-fic. It'd be much appreciated if you could check it out and give some feedback.
www.fanfiction.net/s/8120282/1/Shepard_Versus_The_Three_Words

It's pretty decent. I'll echo Yuqi in criticizing that opening line. Just doesn't flow well.
Also, don't be afraid to use semi colons. They break sentences up into their natural portions and are extremely helpful in descriptive writing.

One sentence (or part of it, at least) that could use some work was:
"... she said, while Liara was smiling innoncently seeing how the Commander is nervous. ..."
This reads awkwardly to me. One thing that has helped me avoid this phrasing is to treat your fic like you're telling someone a story, out-loud and in person.Generally, if you can't talk out a statement without stumbling over which tense you're using, it needs fixing. That's really all it needs, and I know when I wrote stories in my creative writing classes, I always mixed tense, and my teacher would lecture me fiercely over it.
If this sentence were to become something like...
"...she said, Liara smiling innocently at the commander's nervousness. ..."
it would read more fluidly, make a bit more sense.

Also, some spots could use more descriptors.
-"Liara pulled Shepard and kissed" reads awkwardly, to me. When you're describing intimate moments like this, it helps to have some flair added to it, or to provide some clarity.  Something like "Liara pulled Shepard close and kissed her" would probably be my bare minimum, as it gives all the basic information. This is a pairing that the reader is supposed to care about. They want to know the subtle details.

Don't be afraid to play with the wording. Even if you're going for something abrupt, aggressive, it needs to be controlled or the effect will be lost on the reader.

Also, separate your paragraphs a bit. It makes it easier to read. After every main bit of dialogue, break before the next bit of dialogue.. (or at least, that's what I do)

And generally, Liara has precise dialogue. She doesn't use...what are they, contractions? She would say "I have" before she would say "I've".

There were other spots in the fanfic I had similar issue with, but overall the story is fine. It's just the sentence structure and grammar bits that are holding you back. It takes a bit to get a good feel for them, it'll come with time and practice.

Yeah i don't have anything to add to this except more words to keep on writing because you'll only get the hand of the grammar and punctuation through practice,  but i liked the concept and setting 

[TheMarshal]

Yoshiyuki Ly wrote...

Y3Y00,

Your story is endearing; solid effort for English not being your first language. Like Yuqi said, your grammar needs work. Totally understandable, so no worries. I can tell you have an extensive vocabulary, which is great, but diction is key imo. For example, Liara's speech is very proper. I don't think she's the type to say "I've got". "I have" is definitely what she'd say, I think. It's just a matter of getting her speech down. That either takes practice or an embarrassing amount of playthroughs, lol.

The pacing in the chapter was jarring, though I could follow it easily enough. Maybe a line-break would help? Just a suggestion. Solid endings to scenes goes a long way to help the reader stay on track.

Overall, it's very sweet. A good start. Your Shepard is emotional and I like that.

Haven't read the fic, but I wanted to comment on the bolded part.

For ME1 Liara, I agree with you.  She's got a very "proper" upbringing, and that's reflected in her speech patterns.  Lots of formality, very little in the way of contractions or "lowborn" turns of phrase.  With ME2 and particularly LotSB, she's seen much more of the galaxy and suddenly being "proper" doesn't really carry as much weight.  She's come into her own, and her own is a little more frayed around the edges.  She still retains some of her regal demeanor, but the polish is gone.  ME3 is just a continuation of that, with a more world-travelled Liara.

I'd include some snippets of dialog to accentuate my point, but I've had a long day and am slightly inebriated, so I can't be bothered.  

[Yoshiyuki Ly]

TheMarshal wrote...

Yoshiyuki Ly wrote...

Y3Y00,

Your story is endearing; solid effort for English not being your first language. Like Yuqi said, your grammar needs work. Totally understandable, so no worries. I can tell you have an extensive vocabulary, which is great, but diction is key imo. For example, Liara's speech is very proper. I don't think she's the type to say "I've got". "I have" is definitely what she'd say, I think. It's just a matter of getting her speech down. That either takes practice or an embarrassing amount of playthroughs, lol.

The pacing in the chapter was jarring, though I could follow it easily enough. Maybe a line-break would help? Just a suggestion. Solid endings to scenes goes a long way to help the reader stay on track.

Overall, it's very sweet. A good start. Your Shepard is emotional and I like that.

Haven't read the fic, but I wanted to comment on the bolded part.

For ME1 Liara, I agree with you.  She's got a very "proper" upbringing, and that's reflected in her speech patterns.  Lots of formality, very little in the way of contractions or "lowborn" turns of phrase.  With ME2 and particularly LotSB, she's seen much more of the galaxy and suddenly being "proper" doesn't really carry as much weight.  She's come into her own, and her own is a little more frayed around the edges.  She still retains some of her regal demeanor, but the polish is gone.  ME3 is just a continuation of that, with a more world-travelled Liara.

I'd include some snippets of dialog to accentuate my point, but I've had a long day and am slightly inebriated, so I can't be bothered.  

Ah, but the fic is set right after the fight with Saren/Sovereign in ME1 ^^  Otherwise, I'd agree with you completely.

[Makrys]

This is absolutely ridiculous: http://social.biowar.../index/12007150

Modifié par Makrys, 16 mai 2012 - 06:23 .

[rubynorman]

Makrys wrote...

I didn't know it was possible to be this stupid: http://social.biowar.../index/12007150

Ah I read his post in the "Too much Liara?" thread yesterday. Now he makes a whole thread for his idea
He is indoctrinated