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[o Ventus]

*Deep breath*

Since it was overtaken by a pissing contest, let me repost this (Any feedback or ideas?)

The choice is yours, as are the consequences.

Boy... I never would have thought that particular phrase would leave such a lasting impact on me. Some of the details were lost in the battle, but I fortunately (Or maybe not so much) retained enough for a retelling.

The last thing I remember... I felt... I felt like I was dead, but I knew I wasn't. Have you ever heard that old saying, "When the pain gets too terrible, you stop feeling it"? Well... that's a damn lie. I felt it, felt all of it, and it was hell. I had a Carnifex in hand, and the fate of the galaxy laid in my hands. I had managed to unite the various species in one final battle against the Reapers. Never a dull moment, huh? The last thing to run through my mind at that moment... the promise I had made to Miranda. I was supposed to find her, but that was before I took the brunt of Harbinger's attack. I couldn't quit now, I wouldn't. Everything rested on that moment. Like Javik had said, every soul that had ever existed was watching that moment. As I fired into the power conduit on the Citadel, I pondered, could I really sacrifice all synthetic life? Was Legion's sacrifice in vain? What about EDI? Joker would be distraught. No, he would understand, it had to be done. Legion gave its life to stop the Reapers, as had Kaidan, and Thane, and Mordin all did. All of a sudden, I felt a deep rumbling, then I blacked out.

My eyes opened, a bright light in front of my face. Odd, I didn't see a light the first time I died. I heard a voice, someone I knew.

"Hey Skipper, the doc said you'd be good to talk to, I thought I'd stop by."

It was Ashley, sitting beside me. With great difficulty, I spoke back, "Unhh... What? Where am I?"

The bit of cheese in there was intentional.

[cbutz]

Edit: Accidental triple postings are almost as bad as the endings!

Modifié par cbutz, 26 mars 2012 - 03:00 .

[o Ventus]

cbutz wrote...

In regards to the rumors of mass shift, gamble and priestley tweeted that they are not true

You've made it abundantly clear. You can stop posting about it now.

[Totally Not Swaggacide]

He posted that 5 times now

[MisterJB]

o Ventus wrote...

I had a Carnifex in hand, and the fate of the galaxy laid in my hands.

You shouldn't use "hand" twice in the same phrase. Maybe instead "and the fate of the galaxy rested on my shoulders" or "and the fate of the galaxy was mine to decide."

[o Ventus]

MisterJB wrote...

o Ventus wrote...

I had a Carnifex in hand, and the fate of the galaxy laid in my hands.

You shouldn't use "hand" twice in the same phrase. Maybe instead "and the fate of the galaxy rested on my shoulders" or "and the fate of the galaxy was mine to decide."

*gasp* I hadn't even noticed that.

Noted.

But, like I said, that posted excerpt hasn't been edited.

[jtav]

Something about the use of "boy" rubs me the wrong way. Too 1950s.

[Totally Not Swaggacide]

Does this boy actually exist?

[o Ventus]

jtav wrote...

Something about the use of "boy" rubs me the wrong way. Too 1950s.

Errm... why? Not arguing or anything, but that just seems... irrational.

[jtav]

The use of the word "Boy" as an interjection. ("Boy, I never..." has a quaint, old-fashioned feel.

[o Ventus]

jtav wrote...

The use of the word "Boy" as an interjection. ("Boy, I never..." has a quaint, old-fashioned feel.

Is that necessarily a bad thing?

Anyway... I changed it in my proofread. It felt... off.

[Prudii Aden]

Regarding the endings - or at least, the level/map where they take place - did anyone else notice that there's space directly opposite the control & destroy ending options?

[flemm]

cbutz wrote...

In regards to the rumors of mass shift, gamble and priestley tweeted that they are not true

So, wait, did they say they are true, or not true?

[Totally Not Swaggacide]

Disturbing question:
Would Miranda torture her father if she got the chance?

[o Ventus]

Totally Not Swaggacide wrote...

Disturbing question:
Would Miranda torture her father if she got the chance?

No. Why would she?

[Dr. Doctor]

Prudii Aden wrote...

Regarding the endings - or at least, the level/map where they take place - did anyone else notice that there's space directly opposite the control & destroy ending options?

Yes, at one point I had Shepard just start walking in that direction for a "to hell with this I'm going home" ending. If you don't make a decision the Crucible explodes and you reload right back in the Catalyst's chamber.

Shepard: You know what? I don't really care for any of these options, I think I'll just take the beam back down to Earth.

Catalyst: But, what about the cycle? What do I get out of this?

Shepard: You get nothing. You lose. Good day sir.

[o Ventus]

Dr. Doctor wrote...

Prudii Aden wrote...

Regarding the endings - or at least, the level/map where they take place - did anyone else notice that there's space directly opposite the control & destroy ending options?

Yes, at one point I had Shepard just start walking in that direction for a "to hell with this I'm going home" ending. If you don't make a decision the Crucible explodes and you reload right back in the Catalyst's chamber.

Shepard: You know what? I don't really care for any of these options, I think I'll just take the beam back down to Earth.

Catalyst: But, what about the cycle? What do I get out of this?

Shepard: You get nothing. You lose. Good day sir.

Really? He couldn't just pull the conveniently placed, comically oversized electrical plug from the wall outlet and shut the Reapers down, followed by Shepard reaching in his pocket and pressing the "that was easy" button?

Modifié par o Ventus, 26 mars 2012 - 01:52 .

[jtav]

A teaser of my own:

He was half in the world and half out of it. Matt could travel the extranet like a river and scale security measures as if they were garden walls. Nothing, not the darkest military secret or most trivial gossip, was hidden from him. He wasn’t a ghost, a machine, or a man, but something of all three. And he was watching Miranda sleep.

Matt could count on one hand the number of times he’d gotten to do that when he was made of flesh and blood. They hadn’t a relationship as much as a collection of stolen moments. He’d been her student and then her commanding officer. And then she had been on the run from Cerberus. He had always had to leap from her bed before anyone found them together. But now? Whatever Matt had become when he threw himself into that wall of green light, he was a man permitted to watch the woman he loved sleep. And for that, he was grateful.

The war had left its mark upon her. The thick, glossy hair Matt had loved to run his fingers through was short and ragged. Her cheeks were hollow. She was thin, not in the lean, athletic way of a woman who kept herself in shape, but in the way the teeming mass of refugees had been thin. Worst of all was the pallor. The first time Matt had seen Miranda, her skin had reminded him of carved marble. It was still pale, but sickly now in a way he hadn’t seen in over fifteen years. And for all that, she was beautiful. If he looked he could see other marks, signs of the transformation he had caused. A subtle light twisted and pulsed like veins beneath her skin. Such a strange, alien beauty he’d brought into the world.

She stirred and blinked against the light peaking over the horizon. The green glow had faded from her eyes, dimmed to tiny flecks in the iris. “Matt?” Disbelief flitted across her face, but then she smiled. It wasn’t the cocky smirk he knew so well, but the open, unguarded grin she reserved for Oriana and the chosen few he allowed into her charmed circle. “So, I’m not hallucinating.”

He smiled at her. “No.”

She tossed back the covers. Matt drank in the sight of her. All the little details he’d forgotten: the scar on her chest, legacy of a surgery that had given her biotics and nearly killed her. The mole on her shoulder. Even her breasts had dimmed in his memory. Lust spiraled through his nervous system. One night in a rented apartment didn’t make up for nine months of only having his right hand and imagination for company. But Miranda was here. He could gorge himself on her.

Her eyes glittered. “Enjoying the view?”

“You have no idea.” Her skin drew him forward like a magnet. Miranda had been designed to drive men mad with lust. She certainly drove Matt crazy. He reached for her…

…and his hand went right through her shoulder.

[Asakawa]

just sharing my desktop =p i told you all that I was back to my drawing mood!
working on a new drawing, practicing also. can't never have enough references.

[o Ventus]

Asakawa wrote...

just sharing my desktop =p i told you all that I was back to my drawing mood!
working on a new drawing, practicing also. can't never have enough references.

Looks really nice so far. Good luck.

edit: How long does this account need to be around for images to be posted?

Modifié par o Ventus, 26 mars 2012 - 02:16 .

[flemm]

Great stuff everyone. You all are making me feel like a very un-creative fan ;-)

Totally Not Swaggacide wrote...

Disturbing question:
Would Miranda torture her father if she got the chance?

I think just kill him, probably. That part felt right in the game

Modifié par flemm, 26 mars 2012 - 02:20 .

[Asakawa]

o Ventus wrote...

Looks really nice so far. Good luck.

edit: How long does this account need to be around for images to be posted?

thanks! yeah, gonna need luck indeed!

i dunno, i post in my own server or deviantart and then link here!

[pyro_technician]

Asakawa wrote...

just sharing my desktop =p i told you all that I was back to my drawing mood!
working on a new drawing, practicing also. can't never have enough references.

Oh my god, these  are beautiful. I have no words.:wub::wub:

[MisterJB]

There's something I think we have neglected in our distress and disapointment. Miranda's logs on Sanctuary are all good. Their quality pales in comparision with most of ME2 but she sounds determined not to protect Oriana but to save those refugees and to take down her father and Cerberus. For instance, she leaves evidence of their dealings behind for someone else to find in case she perishes.

edit: Looking foward to see more of your work, Asakawa.

Modifié par MisterJB, 26 mars 2012 - 02:55 .

[Vertigo_1]

MisterJB wrote...

There's something I think we have neglected in our distress and disapointment. Miranda's logs on Sanctuary are all good. Their quality pales in comparision with most of ME2 but she sounds determined not to protect Oriana but to save those refugees and to take down her father and Cerberus. For instance, she leaves evidence of their dealings behind for someone else to find in case she perishes.

edit: Looking foward to see more of your work, Asakawa.

I've been saying this for some time...she goes to get Oriana but finds things are worse than she thought and tries to stop it as best as she could

"Once I saw what this place really was, I couldn't just walk away"

Modifié par Vertigo_1, 26 mars 2012 - 03:23 .