I envisioned my Shepard as someone who keeps his emotions to himself and only talks about them with those he trusts most. In any other situation, he's professional and detached. It's a character trait as valid as any other, a stereotypical male trait even,
Precisely. And that's what people need in a leader as well, particularly during hard times. Because people look to them and if they see them cool and in control, then they'll be cool and in control (more or less). But if they freak out or wangst all the time, it'll all go to ****.
The roleplay argument is also a good one. Less is more and if we can't decide what we get worked up about (due to the limitations of the medium) then the game deciding that for us is worse. It's a fine line to walk when creating the player responses. Ambiguous leads are best because they offer a potential of emotion and motivation that's much more complex than anything they could script.
My favorite example: getting to the Shroud, where you have to decide whether to reveal the sabotage or not. I consider it one of the best roleplaying moment of the series. I wrote about it at length in this very thread so rather than try to repeat myself I'll just link the post. The point is, there's no over the top emotion, no wangst, nothing forced, hell nothing even implied. But the emotion I invested into Shepard at that moment was more real to me than any of the forced bullshit they tried to shove down our throats later...
I will almost always agree with this, except in the situation you describe, and that's Shepard's reaction after the loss of Thessia. The Reapers weren't there when you first hear from the Asari Councilor so you're not prepared until Joker tells you. Then you find out they're in force just as much as they were on Earth. When you leave, the remaining Asari are essentially a resistance force now, just like they are on Earth. It's a huge blow to the allied forces. Shepard's response is terse and anxious, because he knows this. Even the best commanders lose their cool when they're dealt a blow, and Shepard realizes that losing Thessia may mean losing the galaxy. It's an important defeat, and a "cool and detached" Shepard would come off as someone ignorant of what was just lost, not as someone who remained control under pressure. And no matter what his response, Shepard is still very much in control, at least as much as he can be.
...like this "gem".
Care to provide some arguments for the underlined?
There is nothing intrinsically special about Thessia that makes losing it objectively worse than losing any other homeworld. There is no greater practical advantage lost. It's not the main staging area, or production center, or even the most populated world I don't think. Thessia is pure forced emotional nonsense. We're supposed to feel bad because the pretty little asari are having their "purity" stomped on. Oh look how all this ageless grace is ruined! Is that Space Bambi's mother in the background? Oh the horror. Feel sad. I said feel sad, damn it!
It's ridiculous, and Shepard not only feels worse about it than losing his own homeworld right before his eyes but also takes the blame for it? Are you ****** kidding me? It's a hundred times worse than the Ardat-yakshi monastery, where Liara has a mini-breakdown because she sees a Banshee. Oh no, that "used to be a person"! Really? And the dozens, nay hundreds of husks we've mowed down over the course of three games were what, chopped liver?
Sorry, I don't buy it. The asari are not special snowflakes and they don't suffer any worse than what the rest of us have. Like you said, Thessia fell like Earth, the remaining population is getting liquefied or fighting a desperate losing resistance like Earth and also every other homeworld. They don't deserve any more tears than anyone else. And like it's been said before ad nauseum, Thessia was going to fall anyway. Shepard wasn't there to snap his fingers and make the bad boo-boos go away he was there to find a piece of the puzzle that has a slim chance of having everyone survive. Which, let's remember the asari hypocritically hid from the rest of the galaxy even as the enemy was at their doorstep. So if anything they deserve less sympathy.