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[Ieldra]

jtav wrote...
Finally finished both single and Ashmance variants for mShep. Also confirmed via YT that Miranda is only ME2 girl for me.

?? Does that mean you've checked the other ME2 romances and found them wanting?

And (almost) no white catsuit. Any interest on running commentary of the romance? Mostly Paragon.

Of course.

[jtav]

Let's just say that at least Miranda's doesn't give me unpleasant flashbacks to a youth I'd rather forget.

[Eyeshield21]

Ieldra2 wrote...

jtav wrote...
Finally finished both single and Ashmance variants for mShep. Also confirmed via YT that Miranda is only ME2 girl for me.

?? Does that mean you've checked the other ME2 romances and found them wanting?

And (almost) no white catsuit. Any interest on running commentary of the romance? Mostly Paragon.

Of course.

Go paragon!
and with at least some catsuits.

[Ieldra]

LuxDragon wrote...
I've finally put up the next chapter of my fic and earned my M rating! For a first time writer, it was the hardest thing I've ever done.

To celebrate, I'm posting a pic I haven't seen here yet. One or my current wallpapers too!

Nice picture.

Nice chapter, too. It's been a while since I read one of your chapters and I must say your writing has improved significantly. The dialogue between Shepard and Miranda flows very well and she comes across very convincing, though you possibly go into a little too much detail occasionally. The sex scene is surprisingly well done. Some metaphors are not quite fitting the style of the scene but that's always the problem with sex scenes. I also think that the scene needs a little balance between them. He remains too much in control while she loses it too much.

As always, the ensemble cast remains the biggest problem for me while reading. You try to do every character justice, which is admirable but adversely affects the flow of the story. "Too many characters" is a problem you've inherited from the game. No way to do anything about it since you're writing a novelization of ME2, but something to keep in mind for future projects.

[pancholonita]

I had not seen this image is very nice.

Modifié par pancholonita, 07 octobre 2011 - 09:02 .

[LuxDragon]

I kinda like the idea that she loses control during sex. She always in control of everything and anything she does that there has to be something she can't control. And it's relatively innocent. Plus, another flaw (if anyone would call that) is good for her. There's perfection and just plain Mary Sue after all.

[Ieldra]

LuxDragon wrote...
I kinda like the idea that she loses control during sex. She always in control of everything and anything she does that there has to be something she can't control. And it's relatively innocent. Plus, another flaw (if anyone would call that) is good for her. There's perfection and just plain Mary Sue after all.

The issue is not that she does - passion is what it is, after all - but that Shepard doesn't. I disagree that she needs more flaws, btw, especially in this chapter where her main flaw comes back to haunt her.

Modifié par Ieldra2, 07 octobre 2011 - 09:28 .

[Eyeshield21]

Ieldra2 wrote...

LuxDragon wrote...
I kinda like the idea that she loses control during sex. She always in control of everything and anything she does that there has to be something she can't control. And it's relatively innocent. Plus, another flaw (if anyone would call that) is good for her. There's perfection and just plain Mary Sue after all.

The issue is not that she does - passion is what it is, after all - but that Shepard doesn't. I disagree that she needs more flaws, btw, especially in this chapter where her main flaw comes back to haunt her.

what flaw is that? her father?(cause he is pretty flawed)

Modifié par Eyeshield21, 07 octobre 2011 - 09:45 .

[diamondedge]

pancholonita wrote...

I had not seen this image is very nice.[smilie]../../../images/forum/emoticons/joyful.png[/smilie]

Indeed. I really like the protective look on Shepards face.

[LuxDragon]

I kinda see your point. There were two problems though:

I wrote it Miranda's POV, so if Shepard lost any control, she was too hazy to see it. (That might be a line of BS right there)

Someone had to be in control (sort of) or it gets really hard to write.

[jtav]

I haven't read Lux's so this is a general observation. One of the reasons I read very little MShep/Miranda is Shepard is almost always the dominant partner and in control. Like Miranda was merely looking for someone stronger than her. And that's not the dynamic I'm looking for.

[LuxDragon]

I kinda had them vie for dominance in this. Like a weird sexual wrestling match.

[LuxDragon]

I actually had them vie for dominance during that scene, like a sexual wrestling match or something.

[jtav]

Not a great shot, but holographic Miranda in black.

[diamondedge]

^^ I've actually read that particular scene and I admire your skill to be erotic without sounding vulgar.

@jtav: I prefer mShep as dominant partner, but for entirely different reasons.
For Miranda to let go of her self control in intimacy- as in real life - is the most sacred form of trust. That willingness to remain vulnerable and trust to the other that they will use that gift for them both is what really makes this form of "control" a wonderful experience.

TL;DR: I prefer mShep as the dominant simply because Miranda needs someone to care for her too, unconditionally.

[jtav]

Yes, but the problem is it's rarely mutual. It's all Miranda giving up control and never Shep. And I'm not interested in that.

[flemm]

jtav wrote...

Not a great shot, but holographic Miranda in black.

So, that's an effect you're getting via a mod, jtav? I like it!

It's low on my wishlist, obviously, compared with other things, but I'd like to see more Lazarus video logs pop up at some point in ME3. It would be a nice throwback/allusion to the beginning of the prior game.

Modifié par flemm, 08 octobre 2011 - 12:51 .

[jtav]

Well, in most of the cutscenes before she formally joins the squad, they use a different model than the default, except here. So I was able to get the black. And I certainly do love her in black.

We may get more logs, particularly if Miranda's dead. I'm a big proponent of the theory that Lazarus used Reaper tech. My current theory is that Miranda surviving means the cure's a freebie. Otherwise, it'll cost you. Unless they really want a heroic sacrifice, but ME really isn't that kind of game.

[flemm]

jtav wrote...

Well, in most of the cutscenes before she formally joins the squad, they use a different model than the default, except here. So I was able to get the black. And I certainly do love her in black.

I see. Yeah, it looks great. Just an interesting change, also.

jtav wrote...
We may get more logs, particularly if Miranda's dead.

I remember we discussed this before at some point. I quite like the idea of logs being the fallback position if Miranda's dead.

As for Miranda being involved in resolving the after-effects of Lazarus, I'd love to see it. In addition to some sort of final confrontation with TIM, it would really bring her main story arcs to a satisfying conclusion. Exactly what I'm looking for in ME3.

Modifié par flemm, 08 octobre 2011 - 01:12 .

[CuseGirl]

LuxDragon wrote...

I actually had them vie for dominance during that scene, like a sexual wrestling match or something.

thats was umm......descriptive....the chapter I mean......do you need a proof reader, i can handle that for you, i kno it's alot to sift thru.....

[Shotokanguy]

Can we get a clearer answer again on whether or not the "Damn it, you're right" response to Miranda actually flags something for ME3? If Liara brings her up at the end of LotSB, I'm definitely going to go that route with the romance. I probably will anyway, just to keep my options open with Ashley too.

In my first-final ME1 run, my idea was to break it off with Ashley at the lockers, but that essentially makes it feel like there was nothing between them in ME2. I still want a shot with her because I really came to like Ashley in my final run before ME2 came out.

[jtav]

It does not flag anything. Liara doesn't mention Miranda.

[Shotokanguy]

Does she mention your LI if you are currently involved in a romance, even if you haven't completed it?

[jtav]

The romance has to be locked in, everything but the love scene.