I love listening to these discussions and debates - whether Kaidan or Shepard male/female is/isn't /could be any orientation you choose in 1, whether your shep is male or female, whether you are paragon or renegade or - really, let's be honest, that's really just a sliding percentage because every decision branches your shep from others. We make Shepard how we want - and then remake him or her on subsequent playthroughs, their backgrounds and their abilities.
Shep can be one of many people, can have feelings for lots of different characters, and that's the whole point! It's why I love the game, it's bigger than just an end-to-end story. It's also why I started writing after decades of talking about it, it's also why I am so disappointed in the endings, because all that diversity is missing, all those nuances are ignored. Every Shep is different.
Oh and on body type... I'm more a brain than a body person, though if pushed somewhere between 1 and 3 with a bit more hair would do nicely... but it's probably why I also have a lot of affection for Garrus because it's his personality and his voice and his story that I love. The idea of love being more than about physical is really big. Physical stuff is awesome, but it's the head stuff that binds people together. Kaidan's just more perfect because he is best of both worlds