I know this is not going to be AMAZING since its going to be my first fic... but im trying to create a fan fic from the first time Shep had laid eyes on Ash... to wherever the future takes them. im still very much trying to get it as good as possible but my writing skills are terrible. I would really love your input... even if its very harsh.
This chapter isnt even completed but it would be nice for any ideas as well

Im trying to add in some scenes made up, to make the story flow nicer.
Sorry about the LOOOONG post
Chapter 1
First impressions count
She was running now, running so fast and so hard that she had forgotten all about the traumatic event that she had witnessed minutes before hand. Her entire unit wiped out in a matter of minutes by an enemy she had never trained to fight. Her mind was spinning with confusion about the enemy she was forced to face, and uncontrollable anger at how she was running from them instead of fighting them like a true soldier would. Gun fire followed her close behind, dodging as much of it as she could, her shields softened the blow of some very unlucky shots to her back.
"Dammit!" She cursed to herself loudly, hoping to regain some of her shielding before she got hit again. The alliance soldier cursed herself yet again, but nothing came of it. She needed to stop running or risked getting shot at again. Reaching the end of a long trench the soldier decided to pull out her military Raikou pistol and in one smooth move, forced herself to turn her body against the small drones that were now metres away. She finally pulled the trigger on one of the drones and the impact of the shot tore it to shreds, blowing up the other drone in the process. The shot was clean and obviously of top ranking soldier standard that the Alliance expected of all military figures, whether your a simple engineer or a commander, it didn't matter.
She stayed on the ground for a few seconds and attempted to regain her breath from the marathon she had just performed.
"Eden prime will never be the same again." She thought to herself in a rare moment of pure silence. She studied her terrain carefully around her, trying to get a sense of her surroundings in case she was boxed in and needed a way out quickly. Almost immediately, her ears were on full alert, she heard synthetic voices coming from the other side of the valley. Swinging her head quickly to get a better view, she had caught a small glimpse of two metal creatures, similar to the ones attacking the dig site she had just came from. Deciding to get away from the scene as quickly as possible but was caught off guard by a scene so horrific, that her mind could not process the sight before her. One of her men from the 212 was being handled by two of the creatures, placing him forcefully on a contraption of some kind. She winced slightly to clear her vision and to get a better look at the event but in one fell swoop the contraption had grown a long spike which impaled the soldier quickly and sending him to his demise. She heard a scream of pain from the doomed soldier, but she could not move due to the shock of witnessing such a tragic death.
"Come on ... move it you idiot." She told herself under her breath, more harsher than she intended.
But it was too late, the unfamiliar creatures turned slowly to look at the downed soldier and moved upon her location. She forced herself to get back on her feet and ran for cover to draw away from there incoming fire. The soldier snarled behind her helmet, she was pissed ... no... she was very pissed at what they were doing to the colony and to her unit. The brave soldier was ready for payback... even if it meant the ultimate sacrifice.
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*work in progress