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[CptData]

I'm looking forward to your stories mixed with some extra Ashley.
After all, it's Ashley's thread.

What would have been different with Ash as member of the ME2-crew ...

Shepard: That's going to be a suicide mission. I did everything securing your loyality and proving I'm a good leader. Any questions?
Crew: No.
Shepard: Fine. Our first task is to rescue our abducted crew. Hope we don't come to late, I don't want end with only Dr. Chakwas alive or so. First we need to decide who's the specialist to get through the "airvents". Any volunteers?
Miranda: Pick me, pick me, I'm sexy!
Ashley: Meh.
Shepard: Guess it'll be Tali.
Tali: I'll try my best, Shepard.
Shepard: Okay. We also need a diversion team.
Miranda: Pick me, pick me! I've got melon sized ...
Shepard: Okay, okay. You go, Miranda. Ashley, you come with me, plus ... lets take Garrus.
Garrus: *nods*
Shepard: Fine. Any questions? Nope? Lets do this!
....
a couple of minutes later, everyone is full of sweat, blood and tears
Garrus: We made it. No one got hit.
Miranda: Just got a light scratch. Missed my awesome booty.
Shepard: Wha'ever. Tali, are you okay? Tali?
Tali: Just got a bit warm, but I'm fine.
Shepard: Fine. Next stage. Questions anyone?
Mordin: Need to return to Normandy with survivors. Might get killed otherwise.
Shepard: Any OTHER questions? No? Okay. First, I need a biotic specialist that keeps those buzzers away from our backsides. Volunteers ...
Miranda: Pick me, I'm so friggin' awesome!
Shepard ... apart from Miranda?
Miranda: Rats.
Shepard: I pick Samara. And Ashley will come with me. Together with ... uhhm ... Garrus.
Garrus: Yay! He picked me again! Winner!
Shepard: Diversion team ... hmmm ... okay, Miranda, you can do this.
Miranda: Good boy.
Shepard: Lets go.
...
Even more blood, sweat and tears plus a very burnt out Samara.
Shepard: Whew. That was close. Everyone fine?
Ashley: Yup. Garrus is fine too.
Shepard: Okay. I'd like to have a long heroic speech, but then again I hate talking that much. So basically we're here to kick some sorry *ss and I need someone holding the line. Everyone who's not picked for my *ss-kicking team will stay behind holding off whatever tries entering this room. Questions?
Miranda: Will you pick me for your team?
Shepard: For god's sake - yes! More questions?
Ashley: Lets do this, Skipper.
Shepard: As long as you can keep your guns pointed at that huge ugly thing, I'm fine. Just don't shot each other, will you?
Miranda: I can't promise anything. You know. Stuff happens.
Ashley: Yeahyeah ...
Shepard: *sigh* Whatever. Everone got it?
Zaeed: What do we do again?
Shepard: Hold your line and keep those collectors out.
Zaeed: Okay. Plan sounded too complicated to me.
Shepard: *sigh* next time I want an Alliance crew with three or four token Aliens ... for the political correctness.
...
Outstandingly bloody, sweaty and teary outcome + debriefing
TIM: And you WASTED that base? For nothing? You're costing me more than time and money, Shepard.
Shepard: Stuff happens.
TIM: Miranda, I told you to keep him in line, what happened?
Miranda: And I told you to implant a control chip ... noo, Mr. TIM knows better. See it as my resignation - I'm out of Cerberus.
TIM: You can't leave ...
Miranda: I can, and I do.
Ashley: Finally that oversexed girl comes to her senses.
Miranda: I'm doing that not for you, Williams. It's for Shepard.
Ashley: Lawson, you won't get him into your lair with that little trick. You need do better.
Miranda: Says who?
Ashley: Says me. That's Ashley Williams for dummies.
Shepard: Someone kill me.

Modifié par CptData, 05 octobre 2011 - 12:19 .

[Mr. Brainheart]

No Ash/Wrex convo yet, I am dissapoint. As not to shock some people, It's about Femshep and not Mshep.

Wrex: Chief, you know I like a brave warrior, right?
Ashley: You bet your ass I know, Wrex! So where are you going with this?
Wrex: I respect you, Williams, you enjoy a good fight, if you were a Krogan th-
Ashley:-Then I would've brought some much needed feminism, in that clan of yours. Again, where the hell are you going with this?
Wrex: You know Shepard...She's a strong warrior, just like you.
Ashley: Getting awfully close to weird now..
Wrex: I'd suggest you keep your claws of her!
Ashley: Weird!
Wrex: I'm serious, Williams. I'm warning you because I like you, a Krogan can tear you up for a female..So back off.
Ashley: I haven't even been going after her! And you better watch out yourself, if you go on!
Wrex: Bah, She's clearly interested in you.
Ashley: In that case: I saw her first, I call dibs!
Wrex: Heh, don't make me laugh Chief. You're too late
Ashley: Look, if she's interested in, no offense,a Krogan..you can totally have her. OK? And it's not like I was coming on to her!
Wrex: I already sent a breeding request and don't like competition.
Ashley:God, No! Please say you're kidding.
Wrex: Why would I kid about fertile females?
Ashley: Look, eh, you have fun with that, OK? I think I'm going to have a chat with...well, anyone else right now. Oh hey Garrus! So what you doin' with the Mako?




@CptData;  I love you're description of Miranda's behavior..

Modifié par Mr. Brainheart, 05 octobre 2011 - 12:12 .

[Aurora313]

Just asking - John plays an instrument... how likely is it that he would convince Ashley to learn one? Or would she leave the serenade playing to him?

[CptData]

*updated dialogue on 278/1*

Nope. I don't think Ashley should learn a instrument with exception of a good ol' boomstick. She's simply not the type *g*

However, I can imagine her singing to Shepard's music.

[Aurora313]

pfft! Aahhahah! Ashley wins!

[CptData]

Brainheart: actually, I like Miranda. She even could be a LI for my Shepard if I could go through a game without romancing Ash. Which is quite impossible for me *g*

Since I like Miranda it's even more difficult to make her looking bad. It's far easier in a parody since ANY characters get warped and twisted or exaggerated somehow. In a more serious dialogue I'd treat Miranda with respect.

Ashley: Pff... as if he could write serious dialogues.
Shepard: Yeah. He fails hard doing so.
Ashley: Epic fail.
Wrex: Shepard.
Shepard: Wrex.
Wrex: Williams.
Ashley: Wrex.
Wrex: I hate being just a guest star in those dialogues for the lulz.

[MegaBadExample]

Ashley would NOT sing. It just wouldn't happen! You think she would put her self in that position? Think of the teasing from Shepard and Wrex! She'd most likely start raving to some workout music with a good beat IMO.

[Aurora313]

MegaBadExample wrote...

Ashley would NOT sing. It just wouldn't happen! You think she would put her self in that position? Think of the teasing from Shepard and Wrex! She'd most likely start raving to some workout music with a good beat IMO.

I was talking Ashley+Shepard+Guitar-guilty/haunting memories of previous love on Intai'sei. I didnt mean with the crew anywhere within 100 lightyears. Hell  they'd probably tease him too 

Modifié par Aurora313, 05 octobre 2011 - 01:06 .

[MegaBadExample]

Oh right. Well I still don't think she'd sing along. That's just weird, but I can see her wanting to learn how to play. Ash is up for anything right? Except three-somes.

[CptData]

Ashley is sad. Someone needs to fix the problem. Maybe it's lack of Ashley pictures on this page?

[Aurora313]

Shepard: *stealthy walks up behind Ash and hugs her* Why are you sad, Ash?
Ashley: Not enough Dialogue, pictures, discussion. Pick something.
Shepard: *shrugs* We could make out off screen. Need the practice for Mass Effect 3, right?
Ashley: I'm game.

[CptData]

Wrex: They're doing it. Again.
Tali: Yuk. And all without a good ol' spacesuit.
Garrus: I feel sick.
Wrex: Shepard!
Shepard: ... *hmpfl* ... what?!
Wrex: Stop doing that. Half of our crew can't take it.
Shepard: Ash ... seems "off screen" is not enough.
Ashley: Seems so.
Tali: Great. I puked right into my helmet ...

(For the record: they just kissed each other. With lots of tongue involving.)

Modifié par CptData, 05 octobre 2011 - 01:36 .

[Aurora313]

Ashley: New plan... make out in the loft.
Shepard: Can't. Alliance pulled the Normandy to pieces. I don't think they've quite put it back together yet.
Ashley: Crap. Intai'sei.
Shepard: Mum has the deed, she's on deep recon. Not gonna be easy to get in touch.
Ashley: Damn. Your prison cell.
Shepard: Dirty and Vega guards the place like a dam hawk.
Ashley: Son of a-

[MegaBadExample]

Aurora313 wrote...

Ashley: New plan... make out in the loft.
Shepard: Can't. Alliance pulled the Normandy to pieces. I don't think they've quite put it back together yet.
Ashley: Crap. Intai'sei.
Shepard: Mum has the deed, she's on deep recon. Not gonna be easy to get in touch.
Ashley: Damn. Your prison cell.
Shepard: Dirty and Vega guards the place like a dam hawk.
Ashley: Son of a-

Shep: Up against the wall right now! Lets make a baby! ....What? Too much?

Modifié par MegaBadExample, 05 octobre 2011 - 01:46 .

[CptData]

Help me - Intai'sei ? - What does it mean?

Shepard: Another plan. Udinas Office?
Ashley: Who will take care of Udina?
Anderson: I'll do. I know how to keep my crew's morale up, and you two definitely need a morale boost.
Ashley: Thank you. Any idea?
Anderson: Seems Udina has to meet an old friend. Fist.
Shepard: Saw Fist on Omega. Didn't know he has connections to Udina ...
Anderson: *facepalms*

[Aurora313]

Intai'sei is the location of Shepard's apartment that he wins off Ahern in the Pinnacle Station DLC.

[Mr. Brainheart]

@Data; I like Miranda too, but I found the exageration you made true to what happened on the suicide mission.

And Wrex's guest appearences, (which usually consists of him saying: Shepard ) is partially why I like to give him a bigger role in my dialogues and fanfics.

@Aurora; Ashley would recite poetry whilst shepard plays some sentimental notes on the guitar

[MegaBadExample]

Mr. Brainheart wrote...

@Data; I like Miranda too, but I found the exageration you made true to what happened on the suicide mission.

And Wrex's guest appearences, (which usually consists of him saying: Shepard ) is partially why I like to give him a bigger role in my dialogues and fanfics.

@Aurora; Ashley would recite poetry whilst shepard plays some sentimental notes on the guitar

That... could quite possibly turn out to be the most cheesiest thing ever. ....But we all know Ashley's a soft sap right? So maybe...Just maybe, that could happen. Though, Shepard would have to be a sap too.

[Aurora313]

Para shep has a record of being cheesy.

Part of his charm.

[CptData]

Aurora313 wrote...

Intai'sei is the location of Shepard's apartment that he wins off Ahern in the Pinnacle Station DLC.

I kinda missed that DLC. That's also the only mission-DLC I didn't buy. Dunno why ...

Wrex: Williams.
Ashley: Wrex.
Wrex: Shepard should start his own clan.
Ashley: You mean a "Shepard clan?"
Wrex: A man like him needs to be chief of a clan.
Ashley: He's not a Krogan, you know? 
Wrex: I know. But he could be a great battlemaster and chief of a mighty clan.
Ashley: How do you found clans?
Wrex: Either a Krogan kills the current leader, or he's exiled and starts one from scratch.
Ashley: How that?
Wrex: He steals one or two fertile women and ... you know. Bees and Birds stuff.
Ashley: Uhuh ...
Wrex: Shepard needs his own clan.
Ashley: And how should he get one?
Wrex: He could make one from scratch. It also seems he got his fertile woman already.
Ashley: Uh ...
Wrex: Don't be shy. It's a great honor to get fertilized by a battlemaster.
Ashley: Krogan culture: if they're not killing something, they're humping. Nice.

Modifié par CptData, 05 octobre 2011 - 01:56 .

[Aurora313]

That's a wonderful way to put it and got me laughing my ass off.

[Mr. Brainheart]

Paragon Shep is definitly a sap in my mind! If they do a good job of it..They'll peform for the rest of the crew, if they like it, the Normandy might just start doing tours...That way they rally and unite all species of the galaxy to fight the Reapers. And the final big choice in the game will be either you inspire all species in the final battle and whipe the Reapers out, or you & Ash go to the Reapers alone and once they've heard your beautiful performance, they see our worth and will go away with recording of your music.

(And somebody help me, I'm trapped in some ridiculous part of my brain!)

[MegaBadExample]

^Haha me too. That was gold.

[CptData]

And please, please don't ask why I had it in my mind. It just came out of nowhere. Like ... dunno. It was there suddenly.

Shepard: Fixing my ME-codex regarding Krogans.
Ashley: What does it say now?
Shepard: "Krogan culture is mainly focused on shooting and shagging."
Ashley: Sounds fine to me.
Shepard: I'm just waiting for what the council is saying.
Ashley: You sent that to the council?
Shepard: Of course! Someone has to fix that codex!
Ashley: And why does this someone has to be you?
Shepard: Look: the codex says the Protheans created the Mass Arrays. I say: nope, the Reapers did it. Fixing codex could be a nice second career after dealing with those Reapers.
Ashley: Isn't it a job for Mordin?
Shepard: As long as he's researching the purpose of hemorrhoids ... ?
Ashley: Scratch that idea. Did you also add an entry about the first human Spectres?
Shepard: Sure.
Ashley: Lemme read:
Codex: The first human Spectre was Shepard, followed by Williams. They have an open relationship so fans of the "azure" and "oversexed Cerberus agents" won't feel offended.
Ashley: I hate you.


----

Somehow I shouldn't go any further in this matter. It already feels as if I had crossed a line. Hereby I apologize to any Liara & Miranda fans.

Modifié par CptData, 05 octobre 2011 - 02:18 .

[Aurora313]

Was playing Mass Effect with my Earthborn Shepard. Ashley don't approve of Finch threatening to blackmail Shepard into being his old gang's b*tch.

Ash is not happy. Daniel is HER bitc - er - Shepard.... lol.

Modifié par Aurora313, 05 octobre 2011 - 02:22 .