69153 réponses à ce sujet

[gamer_girl]

Why would she remove her mask? That would no doubt cause illness, and has no immediate reason, even sentimentally.

[Sirithariel]

I edited it again...

Tali/Shep Love Fanfic

Shepard walked through the door into the next room of the Alarei, as he entered the room Shepard noticed the dead body of a Quarian at the bottom of the stairs.

Suddenly Tali rushed past Shepard and crouched down next to the body,

"Father!" she exclaimed and Shepard realised that the dead Quarian must be Rael'Zorah, Tali's father.

Slowly but surely, Tali  began to cry. Shepard couldn't just stand and watch when Tali was so upset, so he crouched down next to her, hugged her and gave her hands a gentle squeeze, Shepard and Tali stood up at the same time.

"Damn it! Damn it, I'm sorry", Tali's voice was interspersed with sobs,

"You have nothing to be sorry for" interrupted Shepard as he stepped away.

[Sirithariel]

Anyone have ideas on how to continue it?

Modifié par Sirithariel, 14 avril 2012 - 04:17 .

[BigglesFlysAgain]

Sirithariel wrote...

I edited it again...

Tali/Shep Love Fanfic

Shepard walked through the door into the next room of the Alarei, as he entered the room Shepard noticed the dead body of a Quarian at the bottom of the stairs.

Suddenly Tali rushed past Shepard and crouched down next to the body,

"Father!" she exclaimed and Shepard realised that the dead Quarian must be Rael'Zorah, Tali's father.

Slowly but surely, Tali  began to cry. Shepard couldn't just stand and watch when Tali was so upset, so he crouched down next to her, hugged her and gave her hands a gentle squeeze, Shepard and Tali stood up at the same time.

"Damn it! Damn it, I'm sorry", Tali's voice was interspersed with sobs,

"You have nothing to be sorry for" interrupted Shepard as he stepped away.

Its very nice but... there is a very similar scene in mass effect 2 . I suppose putting it in writing can make it more intimate than before, but still don't see why that scene needs changing... Feel free to chip away at the endings though


Or some new scenes before that, the reason we all want more Tali scenes so much is becuase we like what we have so far

Modifié par BigglesFlysAgain, 14 avril 2012 - 04:18 .

[Sirithariel]

True, I think I might change it into a scene on the Normandy, in Shepard's cabin, after the Collector Base

[bazzag]

Sirithariel wrote...

Anyone have ideas on how to continue it?

Maybe Tali's blaming herself for it all and sheps trying to make her see reason. Or maybe Tali reminiscing about the last time she saw rael and the last words he spoke to her. Maybe there was an argument or something.

[BigglesFlysAgain]

Sirithariel wrote...

True, I think I might change it into a scene on the Normandy, in Shepard's cabin, after the Collector Base

After collector base

Tali in sheps private bathroom, shepard listening outside


Tali- Still totaly Bleeeerghgghhhhhhhh-th it



:sick:

Modifié par BigglesFlysAgain, 14 avril 2012 - 04:23 .

[bazzag]

Sirithariel wrote...

True, I think I might change it into a scene on the Normandy, in Shepard's cabin, after the Collector Base

As i said in a previous post. You could have all that stuff with slight tweaks after the mish, at some sort of funeral or memorial service for rael. Or you can have it on the normandy after.

[forthary]

I would laugh if Tali yelled at you for taking too long on the spacewalk to the Geth Dreadnaught:

Tali: "Shepard, are you doing ok?"
Shepard: "Yeah, im working my way to the ship. It's pretty bad."
Tali: "Ok Shepard, let me know when you get there."

*5 minutes later*

Tali: "Shepard, you've been standing in the same spot for the past 3 minutes. Are your gravity boots stuck?
Shepard: "What? No, i'm just...um, im just trying to find a way through the airlock."
Tali: "I can see a clear path from here, Shepard. If you could hurry it up, the quarian fleet would appreciate it."

*Another 5 minutes later*

Tali: "Shepard! What are you doing!?"
Shepard: "I was just enjoying the sights around here."
Tali: "Will you hurry it the hell up! My people are dying out there and your looking into space!?"
Shepard: "Alright, alright, ill find a way in."

*Yet another 5 minutes later*

Tali: "Shepard! If you do not get onto that dreadnaught now, you will be sleeping by yourself for the next week!"
Garrus: "She has a point, Shepard. Plus, Joker could have gotten into that geth dreadnaught long before now even without gravity boots.
Shepard: "Garrus, stay out of this."
Tali: "Shepard, get onto that damn dreadnaught NOW, you Bos'chet!"
Shepard: "Alright, im going, hang on a second..."

*Shepard actually boards the dreadnaught after some navigation and lets the others board*

Tali: "Keelah, Shepard, it's about time you let us on! When we're through with this, we're going to have a talk about this. In private."

Modifié par forthary, 14 avril 2012 - 04:28 .

[BigglesFlysAgain]

forthary wrote...

I would laugh if Tali yelled at you for taking too long on the spacewalk to the Geth Dreadnaught:

Tali: "Shepard, are you doing ok?"
Shepard: "Yeah, im working my way to the ship. It's pretty bad."
Tali: "Ok Shepard, let me know when you get there."

*5 minutes later*

Tali: "Shepard, you've been stuck in the same spot for the past 3 minutes. Are your gravity boots stuck?
Shepard: "What? No, i'm just...um, im just trying to find a way through the airlock."
Tali: "I can see a clear path from here, Shepard. If you could hurry it up, the quarian fleet would appreciate it."

*Another 5 minutes later*

Tali: "Shepard! What are you doing!?"
Shepard: "I was just enjoying the sights around here."
Tali: "Will you hurry it the hell up! My people are dying out there and your looking into space!?"
Shepard: "Alright, alright, ill find a way in."

*Yet another 5 minutes later*

Tali: "Shepard! If you do not get onto that dreadnaught now, you will be sleeping by yourself for the next week!"
Garrus: "She has a point, Shepard. Plus, Joker could have gotten into that geth dreadnaught long before now even without gravity boots.
Shepard: "Garrus, stay out of this."
Tali: "Shepard, get onto that damn dreadnaught NOW, you Bos'chet!"
Shepard: "Alright, im going, hang on a second..."

*Shepard actually boards the dreadnaught after some navigation and lets the others board*

Tali: "Keelah, Shepard, it's about time you let us on! When we're through with this, we're going to have a talk about this. In private."

I still never got the logic of that scene, the only reason he goes alone is so they don't have to programe AI that can walk upside down. I never understood how the "second" airlock thing would work

[Sirithariel]

I know it's bad but what about this?

Tali/Shep Love Fanfic

It was a month to the day since Shepard, Tali and the rest of the team had destroyed the Collector base and come away with their lives.

Shepard was busy sterilising his room while Tali got ready in his bathroom, together they had decided that it was time for their second intimate experience together.

When Shepard and Tali had both finished getting ready they sat down on the bed together, Tali with her arms around Shepard's chest, and Shepard with an arm round Tali's neck, gently stroking her cheek. In one split second they caught each other's eye, they didn't need words to communicate with each other, their lips touched and they relaxed onto the bed, kissing each other passionately.

[forthary]

BigglesFlysAgain wrote...


I still never got the logic of that scene, the only reason he goes alone is so they don't have to programe AI that can walk upside down. I never understood how the "second" airlock thing would work

I thought it made sense, all the airlocks were locked and unhackable, the only one available was the damaged one.  While it doesn't make sense that it wouldn't be locked and while it would be nice if the other squad members could come along, I thought it was cool.  But I think the spacewalk in ME2 is still the best, mainly because of the eerie silence and a few other things.

Modifié par forthary, 14 avril 2012 - 04:35 .

[BigglesFlysAgain]

Sirithariel wrote...

I know it's bad but what about this?

Tali/Shep Love Fanfic

It was a month to the day since Shepard, Tali and the rest of the team had destroyed the Collector base and come away with their lives.

Shepard was busy sterilising his room while Tali got ready in his bathroom, together they had decided that it was time for their second intimate experience together.

When Shepard and Tali had both finished getting ready they sat down on the bed together, Tali with her arms around Shepard's chest, and Shepard with an arm round Tali's neck, gently stroking her cheek. In one split second they caught each other's eye, they didn't need words to communicate with each other, their lips touched and they relaxed onto the bed, kissing each other passionately.

I think its good, but a month? Tali and shep are only human  organic beings , he might be in alliance custurd by then, so mabye a week or two at the most for her to recover

Modifié par BigglesFlysAgain, 14 avril 2012 - 04:36 .

[bazzag]

Its not that bad! What you have there is a good spine. Now it just needs expanding

[IElitePredatorI]

Sirithariel, where is the Tali pounce?

[Sirithariel]

Ok, is this better?

Tali/Shep Love Fanfic

It was two weeks to the day since Shepard, Tali and the rest of the team had destroyed the Collector base and come away with their lives.

Shepard was busy sterilising his room while Tali got ready in his bathroom, together they had decided that it was time for their second intimate experience together.

When Shepard and Tali had both finished getting ready they sat down on the bed together, Tali with her arms around Shepard's chest, and Shepard with an arm round Tali's neck, gently stroking her cheek. In one split second they caught each other's eye, they didn't need words to communicate with each other, their lips touched and they relaxed onto the bed, kissing each other passionately.

[Sirithariel]

IElitePredatorI wrote...

Sirithariel, where is the Tali pounce?

If I had the Tali pounce it would be too similar to the ME2 romance scene...

Modifié par Sirithariel, 14 avril 2012 - 04:38 .

[BigglesFlysAgain]

forthary wrote...

BigglesFlysAgain wrote...


I still never got the logic of that scene, the only reason he goes alone is so they don't have to programe AI that can walk upside down. I never understood how the "second" airlock thing would work

I thought it made sense, all the airlocks were locked and unhackable, the only one available was the damaged one.  While it doesn't make sense that it wouldn't be locked and while it would be nice if the other squad members could come along, I thought it was cool.  But I think the spacewalk in ME2 is still the best, mainly because of the eerie silence and a few other things.

What I mean is the normandy docks not with the geth ship, but what seems to be a random tube floating through space that is not connected to the geth ship... but anyway the scene is just for the "Shepard in spaaaaace" factor rather than any logic, and it is pretty cool

[Sirithariel]

bazzag wrote...

Its not that bad! What you have there is a good spine. Now it just needs expanding

Thanks, I should add a bit of dialogue to flesh it out

[BigglesFlysAgain]

Sirithariel wrote...

bazzag wrote...

Its not that bad! What you have there is a good spine. Now it just needs expanding

Thanks, I should add a bit of dialogue to flesh it out

2 weeks seems better length of time, lol maybe you can ignore my logic and logistics now and work on the important content 

[Sirithariel]

Is this dialogue alright?

Tali/Shep Love Fanfic
It was two weeks to the day since Shepard, Tali and the rest of the team had destroyed the Collector base and come away with their lives.
Shepard was busy sterilising his room while Tali got ready in his bathroom, together they had decided that it was time for their second intimate experience together.
When Shepard and Tali had both finished getting ready they sat down on the bed together, Tali with her arms around Shepard's chest, and Shepard with an arm round Tali's neck, gently stroking her cheek. 
"Shepard"
"Yes?"
"I love you"
"I love you too Miss vas Normandy"
Within a split second they'd caught each other's eye, they didn't need words to communicate with each other, their lips touched and they relaxed onto the bed, kissing each other passionately.

Modifié par Sirithariel, 14 avril 2012 - 04:45 .

[gamer_girl]

I think it's more interesting to create entirely new scenes rather than write about old ones or have a second "intercourse" scene.

Maybe that's just me...

[IElitePredatorI]

Sirithariel wrote...

IElitePredatorI wrote...

Sirithariel, where is the Tali pounce?

If I had the Tali pounce it would be too similar to the ME2 romance scene...

Then make it a unique Tali pounce!

[Cheese of Borg]

BigglesFlysAgain wrote...

Sirithariel wrote...

I know it's bad but what about this?

Tali/Shep Love Fanfic

It was a month to the day since Shepard, Tali and the rest of the team had destroyed the Collector base and come away with their lives.

Shepard was busy sterilising his room while Tali got ready in his bathroom, together they had decided that it was time for their second intimate experience together.

When Shepard and Tali had both finished getting ready they sat down on the bed together, Tali with her arms around Shepard's chest, and Shepard with an arm round Tali's neck, gently stroking her cheek. In one split second they caught each other's eye, they didn't need words to communicate with each other, their lips touched and they relaxed onto the bed, kissing each other passionately.

I think its good, but a month? Tali and shep are only human  organic beings , he might be in alliance custurd by then, so mabye a week or two at the most for her to recover

Yah, Im thinking about a week and a half.  

[bazzag]

Sirithariel wrote...

Ok, is this better?

Tali/Shep Love Fanfic

It was two weeks to the day since Shepard, Tali and the rest of the team had destroyed the Collector base and come away with their lives.

Shepard was busy sterilising his room while Tali got ready in his bathroom, together they had decided that it was time for their second intimate experience together.

When Shepard and Tali had both finished getting ready they sat down on the bed together, Tali with her arms around Shepard's chest, and Shepard with an arm round Tali's neck, gently stroking her cheek. In one split second they caught each other's eye, they didn't need words to communicate with each other, their lips touched and they relaxed onto the bed, kissing each other passionately.

What you could do is make it there last night together before shep turns himself in to the alliance, so this night has meaning, just like the first time. That way there would also be a sombre mood to it all as well, with tali perhaps trying to persuade shep to not give himself up.

the dialogue there is alright tho. Works for that point.

Modifié par bazzag, 14 avril 2012 - 04:46 .