Snippets:
Chakwas: You know, Shepard, you're the only soldier I've never had to badger relentlessly to come in for his annual physical.
Shepard: They're not enjoyable, but I'd rather know of any medical issues *before* they become problems, rather than after it's too late.
Chakwas: If only the rest of the crew took your position. I still haven't gotten Zaeed in here once, and it's been almost a year... anyway, we're almost done, I just need you to drop your pants. You know the drill about turning your head and coughing. Give me a second and I'll blank out the windows.
Shepard *nervously laughing*: Yeah, don't want to give Gardner a show.
Chakwas: Umm... Commander?
Shepard *turning around*: What?
Chakwas: *laughing*: I had guessed you and Tali were an item, but isn't that a little extreme?
Shepard: What is?
Chakwas: Your tattoo! I... don't know what to say!
Shepard: ...what tattoo?
Chakwas *holding up a mirror, and stifling even more laughter*: Right there, in the middle of your left cheek.
Shepard: It's hard to read backwards, but.... oh geeze... when the HELL did she do that without me noticing? "PROPERTY OF TALI'ZORAH," my ass!
Chakwas *giving up and letting out gales of laughter*: In this case, literally.
Five minutes later...
Tali *walking in*: You needed me for something, doct-oh!
Shepard: Yes... oh. Care to explain, Tali?
Tali: Well, Shepard, you do have a reputation.
Shepard: What reputation, you're the only one tha-
Tali: -Yes, yes, I know. But there are countless women, some right on this ship, that would give anything to be with you. I can't tell you how many times I've had to beat off women who've tried to put the moves on you.
Shepard: Like who?
Tali: Parasini, Shiala, Jack... twice. Remember that blowout in the subdeck? It wasn't a faulty eezo conduit. There are even a few e-mails from the consort that your spam filters "accidentally" deleted.
Shepard: Oh, come now, it can't be-
Tali: Garrus' SISTER asked him to set you two up. She's a TURIAN, a *good* Turian, unlike him, and yet is willing to defy convention to have a shot at you.
Shepard: Wait Garrus has a sister, why didn't he-OW! Wait, I didn't mean it like that-OW!
Tali *dragging Shepard by the ear*: Now pull your pants up so we can get out of here, and just be glad I didn't tattoo it on your forehead.
Modifié par Orion1836, 09 août 2011 - 03:35 .