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[coldwetn0se]

mnomaha wrote...

LOL This link: NOTE: this is definitely NSFW.

http://25.media.tumb...spqnvo1_500.jpg

BWAHAHAHAHA!!!  Priceless.   Twizzler anyone??

@Lance - Sorry I forgot to post on your story.  First, I love the "tea date" with Shep.  Very nice touch.  I think you have Thane's voice quite good.  There are just a few lines that feel slightly "off", but truth be told, I rarely ever read a Fanfic that was able to keep Thane's voice perfect through the whole story.    Only thing I suggest that you watch for is spelling. And trust me, I say this with love....I am notorious for spelling things incorrectly so I LITERALLY ALWAYS have dictionary.com open at all times....HA!

Lastly, I think you should definately write this how YOU want to.  However, if you decide to write a special path for us Thane Freaks, then I would definately vote for a "save Thane" path.  Just my .02.  LOVE YA BUDDY!!

[LanceSolous13]

What lines were off? Just out of curiosirty?

I'm still not sure if the scalding tea works or not. There is a nagging in the back of my mind suggesting it would make Kepral's worse.

[gearseffect]

Dear lord you ladies now got me back for the DudeShep/Husk thing and I didn't even share much, dear lord brain bleach my head, my eyes, the fire still burns.

Oh crap, now my mind is destroyed what have you people on the internet done to me? Not just here either no, for cripes sake, I've become corrupted on Tumblr too. All I can say is a young lady (I'm assuming she's young.) RPing as Tali has managed to corrupt me there and dear lord the shagginess that unfold, honestly I have taken writing cheesy smut and doing bad things with it.

I mean who honestly I had Itunes going all day and somehow ended up on W.A.S.P. (I swear it did that on it's own.) and the song Don't Cry (Just Suck) and I took off with that and crafted the most messed up payback too. Hahaha

I was a pure soul and now you all have corrupted me it's all your fault,

Okay wait what was that this thread was about before I came in here rambling off and going in a completely different direction?

[coldwetn0se]

LanceSolous13 wrote...

What lines were off? Just out of curiosirty?

I'm still not sure if the scalding tea works or not. There is a nagging in the back of my mind suggesting it would make Kepral's worse.

I'll quote a few of the lines:

“I want to live for him but there is no point in that if the galaxy is consumed by the Reapers. I wish to continue removing what wickedness I can from here. Kolyat will be fine her on the Citadel. Since we stopped him from following my path up the mountain, He has become attracted to a helping the needy here on the Citadel. I have helped him find a shelter run by a religious order where he shall be safe during our journey.”

There is nothing wrong with what you wrote, but the voice and choice in vocabulary is not quite to his cadence or use.

I will have to re-attain the disease for it to begin taking a toll on me. My body will no longer move after five to seven years from now. By then, I will expect the Hanar or someone else will have created a cure to the illness if the Reapers have not won by then.”

Same issues as the previous quotation.  Also, the "re-attain" comment may need to be reexamined.  I understand what you are trying to demonstrate here, but another choice of word might be better used.

I was surprised to find she didn’t confuse Kepral’s Syndrome as an issue with Oxygen not forming properly in the lungs as many doctors confuse I for. She recommended myself as a lung transplant patient as to extent my life span. At the time, I was accepting of my death.”

Sorry this is out of order, but I felt that the real trouble with these sentences were with the content, not the voice.  You may want to bug Moira and Beannie about this subject.  If you have never read their Medical Essays, I would highly recommend them.  Also, the bolded part seems to be a typo.

As for the scalding tea, I actually really like this.  Since Kepral's in ME2 was based on bacterial infections (and potentially secondary bacteria/viruses infections) it would make sense that something scalding would be theraputic.  Hot tea is not uncommon for people to drink when they suffer from colds/flu, where their throat or lungs feel compromised

[Roxy]

mnomaha wrote...

LOL This link: NOTE: this is definitely NSFW.

http://25.media.tumb...spqnvo1_500.jpg

Eeew.....I'm just gonna forget that I saw that and move on with my life!

Modifié par Roxy, 31 août 2012 - 03:34 .

[coldwetn0se]

gearseffect wrote...

Dear lord you ladies now got me back for the DudeShep/Husk thing and I didn't even share much, dear lord brain bleach my head, my eyes, the fire still burns.

Oh crap, now my mind is destroyed what have you people on the internet done to me? Not just here either no, for cripes sake, I've become corrupted on Tumblr too. All I can say is a young lady (I'm assuming she's young.) RPing as Tali has managed to corrupt me there and dear lord the shagginess that unfold, honestly I have taken writing cheesy smut and doing bad things with it.

I mean who honestly I had Itunes going all day and somehow ended up on W.A.S.P. (I swear it did that on it's own.) and the song Don't Cry (Just Suck) and I took off with that and crafted the most messed up payback too. Hahaha

I was a pure soul and now you all have corrupted me it's all your fault,

Okay wait what was that this thread was about before I came in here rambling off and going in a completely different direction?

Dude...it's all on you babe!!  We NEVER corrupt.  And by the way.....pass the SMUT please!

[LanceSolous13]

Yeah. That's a typo. I also found a few redundent prep. phrases when I read it again.

I'm not exactly sure how to change the vocabulary for it. What exactly was off about it?

And, I just realized the Fridge Brilliance of Shepard sounding like a Vorcha after drinking Thane's Tea. The voice of Shepard is also voices the Vorcha. Of course Shepard could sound perfectly like a Vorcha! XD

[coldwetn0se]

hehehe...."sound like Vorcha". I like!

Without using a thesaurus, I'm not sure what word would be more appropriate. Take all of this with a grain of salt. Sometimes it is how the reader "hears" the voice in their head, and not so much YOUR choice of words or cadence. Whenever I write Thane (unless I am being intentionally out of character....Like drunk Thane in my PDS dialogues. Or when I am purposefully being ironic with Thane's dialogue.) I try and listen to his voice for a bit. Either I put on ME2 (have a ton of saves I can easily cue up), or I use that recently posted gem: http://maqeurious.de...board-317672921

And feel free to tell me to "Shuddup!" if I step on your toes. I won't take offense.

[gearseffect]

I agree with Coldi on the dialogue it seems off. When I write characters, and their dialogue I tend to imagine their voice saying it. Thane has a very unique voice (or at least to me) but his wording is at times a bit tricky to nail down for instance,

When I'd normally have a character say something is troublesome I change it up and make it more educated or sophisticated when I write Thane I have him use words like disconcerting.

I try and imagine the characters voices when I write dialogue, the trick part is Thane needs to seem more educated, proper, and retain his philosophical style. He says stuff but he goes a direct way, he don't drag things out longer than they need to be.

Oh and Coldi you have corrupted me like indoctrination corrupts anyone. It's all you fault everyone in here's, I never had a dirty thought.. okay hahahahaha I'm full of it. Hahahaha, and what smut? I didn't say something about smut, oh boy your gonna want this to be seen now,

[Askeebe]

There were just some things on here tonight that I didn't need to see when my parents are in town for a rare visit.

[LanceSolous13]

Hmmmmm...I'll have to think on it but I have a busy next few weeks ahead so, I won't have time to actually finish the chapter.

[Serenade22]

gearseffect wrote...

@Serenade22 holy f*ck you are fallowing me on Tumblr, I just now noticed hahahahha. Oh and I thought it looked ME2 Fist on Halloween as a drell and even the fingers don't look Drell.

Yes, I love to see Samara pics on my tumblr haha.

mnomaha wrote...

LOL This link: NOTE: this is definitely NSFW.

http://25.media.tumb...spqnvo1_500.jpg

Wow

[JECW]

mnomaha wrote...

LOL This link: NOTE: this is definitely NSFW.

http://25.media.tumb...spqnvo1_500.jpg

Ok. I wasn't expecting that.

[gearseffect]

@ Serenade aw, thanks, I'm following you too.


Okay I can't say I didn't worn you, this is not my fault, Tali on Tumblr started it, you wanted my smut I came up with in minutes, and because I don't think the Tali thread would receive it too well, and you asked for it. Here, it is.

"Sush it's okay Sparks. Don't cry just suck. You are doing fiiiinnee och son of b!tch no teeth Sparks. *slaps her face* Suck, come on you can do it, take it all the way in. I know it's massive just like the rest of my muscles but you can take it all the way down Sparks."

I am gonna, go hide before you descend on this and dig into it.

Modifié par gearseffect, 31 août 2012 - 10:10 .

[Renmiri1]

Omg this thread almost made me spit out my coffeee!

Dragoncon on Atlanta today
http://blog.bioware....e-at-dragoncon/

BioWare is returning to Atlanta for the first time in many years with Dragon Age Lead Writer David Gaider and Community Specialist “Evil” Chris Priestly attending the event.

If you have tickets to Dragon*Con, you can follow Evil Chris Priestly to learn where they are at the con. They want to meet up with our fans and look forward to discussing BioWare, Dragon Age and Mass Effect with you. It is also your chance to record a message for “Evil” Chris to take back to the BioWare studio. Give your feedback on a game, show off your costume or say what you want to see coming from BioWare in the future.

David and Chris are also on a number of different panels during the convention..

@gears.. you just reminded me of Adam Howden on an interview saying as Anders "For the Maker's sake Hawke, shave your.." 

Modifié par Renmiri1, 31 août 2012 - 03:15 .

[Ice Cold J]

I hate the fact taht Thane has to die... writers kinda dropped the ball on that one (not gonna get started on Mordin or Legion, either).
But, at least he went out showing what a puss Kai Leng really is.

[Roxy]

Ice Cold J wrote...

I hate the fact taht Thane has to die... writers kinda dropped the ball on that one (not gonna get started on Mordin or Legion, either).
But, at least he went out showing what a puss Kai Leng really is.

Thank you and I agree!

Sucks majorly that they give you hope to save Thane...and then they just out of nowhere give you the middle finger and kill him off without any option to save him at all, especially when he's your shep's LI!

I hate that Mordin and Legion died too ...totally hated that...!

Kai Lame is a puss but Thane did not have to die.....they really effed up when writing Thane's part in this game..I just wonder if they got the balls to fix it!

[Renmiri1]

Balls maybe. Humility to admit they messed up ? Not seeing it.

[coldwetn0se]

Not liking this on page two. Let's see if I can find a lovely Thane pic to add.......brb.

Alright, this one is new to me, so here we go......


By hioin on DA

Modifié par coldwetn0se, 01 septembre 2012 - 05:13 .

[giftfish]

Also, new Focus Friday is up, ladies. A closer look at the survey demographics

[Ice Cold J]

Roxy wrote...

Ice Cold J wrote...

I hate the fact taht Thane has to die... writers kinda dropped the ball on that one (not gonna get started on Mordin or Legion, either).
But, at least he went out showing what a puss Kai Leng really is.

Thank you and I agree!

Sucks majorly that they give you hope to save Thane...and then they just out of nowhere give you the middle finger and kill him off without any option to save him at all, especially when he's your shep's LI!

I hate that Mordin and Legion died too ...totally hated that...!

Kai Lame is a puss but Thane did not have to die.....they really effed up when writing Thane's part in this game..I just wonder if they got the balls to fix it!

If Thane had to die, at least he went out serving a purpose. And, when he explains exactly HOW bad off he was earlier, how he was a shell of his former self. To THEN see him almost defeat Cerebus' #1 guy? Kinda hammered home just how awesome Thane was.

I get the whole sacrifice and loss motifs in the game, but I'm one of those peopel who would just as soon save everyone. No One Left Behind achievement on my first try was my happiest/proudest gaming moment ever.

I'll be honest: I was not nor am I still a HUGE Thane fan, but I did gain a lot of respect for him over the course of the two games. Esp. since he was such a PERFECT LI for one of my femsheps. Too bad he had to die at all.

[Renmiri1]

Thane didn't have to die. Even if he was terminally ill... Sheppard dies or turns into Reaper God like 2-3 months after his in game death. Would it have killed Bioware writers to make him last until then ?

Or at least give us some more time before he died and some nice grieving dialog / scenes after. What they did was cruel and cold.

[Ice Cold J]

Renmiri1 wrote...

Thane didn't have to die. Even if he was terminally ill... Sheppard dies or turns into Reaper God like 2-3 months after his in game death. Would it have killed Bioware writers to make him last until then ?

Or at least give us some more time before he died and some nice grieving dialog / scenes after. What they did was cruel and cold.

I thought the hospital bed scene was OK. Would've liked better, but I can live with it.

[emeraldisle88]

Hi everyone. Just leaving a link to a thane tribute video I posted if anyone is interested in checking it out.

[mnomaha]

Hey guys! Here's a new survey I got from the Retake Italiano guys. Lots of Thane options!

https://docs.google....MzE5MDNmMGY