147 réponses à ce sujet

[ForumPortal]

And not the nice guy?

There are many exceptions but I have seen this most of the time.

The girls all like/date the stuck-up jerk guys, but not the genuinely nice guys.

Why is this?

[KenKenpachi]

Pft because they know he can rip of the nice dudes head and **** down his neck in no time << >>

I do think in part that Brutish nature in part does connect with something deep down. In most reguards a mute point, today. Minus the fact the western life style is very fragile if massive change hits it. And most women do tend to be more...submissive. So if a jerk as you put it gets his claws into them well thats that.

Lulz Funny enough I don't fall into either group.

As an edit
*John Wayne voice*
Dino is that you? Is this me? Am I John Wayne?

Modifié par KenKenpachi, 23 juin 2011 - 12:49 .

[whykikyouwhy]

Maybe it's less about the girls "liking" jerks than it is about there just being a higher ratio of "jerks" to nice guys.

Just something to consider.

[chelseaisthepan]

Stuck-up jerks have confidence (read: ****iness). Girls like confidence.

Or they could just like that type of person. It's just the way it is.

[hoorayforicecream]

Well, the first problem is trying to generalize the opinions of half of the population of an entire species. Girls are actually people, first and foremost. As such, they tend to look for different things in a relationship and/or partner. Some want to have fun, some want a long term relationship, some want a fling, some want kids, some don't. Some just want to have a good time, some want to be kept, some want to get drunk. Based on what she wants, she'll be looking for different qualities in a partner. If you don't have the general qualities she's looking for, chances are good she won't be interested in you.

Now let's say that you find someone who is looking for a similar things in terms of a relationship. Well, now it's about making yourself attractive to her.

Confidence is attractive. Being nice doesn't earn you much respect if you're a doormat. Nice can be fine, but you also need other qualities to interest someone. Can you speak confidently? Do you know interesting things to talk about? Do you have similar interests? These are all qualities you need to convey to her. If you find it hard to talk to her, then it probably won't go anywhere. I don't like hanging out with guys who I find boring.

Finally... if you want her to know you're interested, tell her so. Make sure she knows. Don't just joke about it or hope she makes the first move. I personally dislike that sort of behavior... it makes the guy seem cowardly, and I do not find that quality attractive at all. If you can't even tell me you like me, why should I bother with you?

[Maugrim]

Modifié par makenzieshepard, 23 juin 2011 - 12:49 .

[DaveExclamationMarkYognaut]

Define "nice guy." Are we talking someone who is authentically nice, or someone who expects to be rewarded with sex for good behavior?

[Maugrim]

When someone talks about themselves or someone else being a "nice/good guy" and then complains about women not liking "nice guys" what's really going on is exactly what is depicted in the XKCD comic. In short they aren't really nice guys, just pretending to be so.

The real nice guys tend to get snapped up immediately.

Modifié par makenzieshepard, 23 juin 2011 - 12:54 .

[ADLegend21]

whykikyouwhy wrote...

Maybe it's less about the girls "liking" jerks than it is about there just being a higher ratio of "jerks" to nice guys.

Just something to consider.

This. The "good guy" is a dying breed and should be put in the endangered species list.

[slimgrin]

I'm a jerk and it hasn't worked for me yet.

[whykikyouwhy]

@ADLegend21 - I had my tongue in my cheek with that. I realize that no one can see that, but...

Actually, I think 'nice' and/or 'good', regardless of gender, may be a rarity. Or rather, it's become more commonplace for those qualities to be tucked away. They're harder to find on the surface, and sometimes people are unwilling, or unable, to make the effort to get down into the layers. I see more jerks (male and female) out in the world now than I did as a kid. But maybe I'm just more aware of them.

[Seagloom]

hoorayforicecream covered my opinion. To state it less tactfully: nice is frequently code for boring. If all a guy has going for him is that he is polite, he is in deep crap. He needs to possess confidence, have varied interests, and be mentally stimulating. There are many other factors specific to individual people, but the key is definitely boredom.

I have seen many a self proclaimed nice guy lament this and never realize they get rejected because being nice is all they put out there.

Modifié par Seagloom, 23 juin 2011 - 01:02 .

[Maria Caliban]

ForumPortal wrote...

And not the nice guy?

Strangely enough, I've seen jerks who treat their girlfriends better than the 'nice guys' do.

The girls all like/date the stuck-up jerk guys, but not the genuinely nice guys.

Why is this?

I hope you don't take this the wrong way but...

If you say 'Girls all like X' I assume you have almost no experience with girls. Most women don't like jerks and this is a complaint I mostly hear from guys who think girls should like them because they're nice.

Nice is a baseline. You still need to have humor, intelligence, self-confidence, as well as having things in common.

whykikyouwhy wrote...

Actually, I think 'nice' and/or 'good', regardless of gender, may be a rarity.

I think most people are pretty decent. Admittedly, mean people get more attention but they're not a majority.

Modifié par Maria Caliban, 23 juin 2011 - 01:09 .

[Maria Caliban]

Seagloom wrote...

To state it less tactfully: nice is frequently code for boring.

Or passive-aggressive jerk.

Or 'I'm being nice to because if I'm nice, you have to reward me with your affection.'

Or 'I'm a chivalrous fellow who thinks you need to be led around by the hand and protected.'

Modifié par Maria Caliban, 23 juin 2011 - 01:16 .

[hoorayforicecream]

Maria Caliban wrote...

Seagloom wrote...

To state it less tactfully: nice is frequently code for boring.

Or passive-aggressive jerk.

Or 'I'm being nice to because if I'm nice, you have to reward me with your affection.'

Oh dear lord, I hate people like that. They're not only cowardly, they're sneaky and conniving.

I couldn't go out with anyone who doesn't respect me enough to risk my saying no.

[slimgrin]

Sounds like some here have been stung by 'nice' guys. Otherwise known as jerks.

Modifié par slimgrin, 23 juin 2011 - 01:19 .

[Maria Caliban]

hoorayforicecream wrote...

Maria Caliban wrote...

Or passive-aggressive jerk.

Or 'I'm being nice to because if I'm nice, you have to reward me with your affection.'

Oh dear lord, I hate people like that. They're not only cowardly, they're sneaky and conniving.

I couldn't go out with anyone who doesn't respect me enough to risk my saying no.

But if I'm honest about wanting finding a woman attractive and wanting to sleep with her, I'll only end up with ****s! A good woman has to be tricked into bed.

slimgrin wrote...

Sounds like some here have been stung by 'nice' guys. Otherwise known as jerks.

My experience with men my age has always been positive. I've had a few bumps with older men who thought I had no brain, but (other than the internet) the people I interact with are pleasant.

My straight female and gay guy friends like to tell me about their horrible boyfriends and exs though.

Modifié par Maria Caliban, 23 juin 2011 - 01:24 .

[Seagloom]

Oh right, those two. I haven't run into them as often as the plain ol' vanilla variety. I did have a flirtation going with someone who was a combination of the latter two once. Spoiler alert! It ended poorly.

[hoorayforicecream]

Maria Caliban wrote...

hoorayforicecream wrote...

Oh dear lord, I hate people like that. They're not only cowardly, they're sneaky and conniving.

I couldn't go out with anyone who doesn't respect me enough to risk my saying no.

But if I'm honest about wanting finding a woman attractive and wanting to sleep with her, I'll only end up with ****s! A good woman has to be tricked into bed.

You'll have to explain that one to me more in depth sometime. Perhaps in a more private setting.

[chunkyman]

slimgrin wrote...

I'm a jerk and it hasn't worked for me yet.

Exactly. I haven't been friendly in a decade, where the hell are all these women who are supposed to be attracted to me?!?!? 

[slimgrin]

hoorayforicecream wrote...

You'll have to explain that one to me more in depth sometime. Perhaps in a more private setting.

<3...love is in the air.

Modifié par slimgrin, 23 juin 2011 - 01:35 .

[mesmerizedish]

Maria Caliban wrote...

But if I'm honest about wanting finding a woman attractive and wanting to sleep with her, I'll only end up with ****s! A good woman has to be tricked into bed.

Damn, I've been found out! I'll have to rethink my strategy.

[Comrade Bork]

I'm not a girl, but I have never thought somebody a girl is dating is a "jerk". Most of the guys that girls I know have dated are also my friends (to an extent, and vice versa), so maybe my views on them are skewed, but I think that's the core issue. A lot of people that you think are jerks aren't jerks; in fact you probably just think they're jerks to console feelings of jealousy.

Now, I've never had the presumptuousness to call myself a "nice guy" because for all I know, I could be portraying my self as a total bag of feminine hygiene product. However, I feel everybody deep down feels themselves to be a good/nice person (regardless of sex). So, while it's okay to think of yourself as being nice, it's not okay to outright state that everybody else is a jerk, which is my main issue with this topic.

As an added tidbit, I've never had a relationship of my own, so take my words with a fistful of salt.

Modifié par Comrade Bork, 23 juin 2011 - 01:42 .

[Maria Caliban]

I feel a bit bad for the OP.

I just want you to know dude: I've been there.

Women are gorgeous, smell great, and they wear those dresses with the little straps and skirts that show off the back of their kneecaps. It doesn't seem fair that they're all so yummy. Then you meet one with a tongue piercing and shiny black boots that somehow makes your heart do the loop-de-loop, but she doen't want you. No, she wants Mr. Spiky Green hair. Some stupid pasty twig boy who listens to Velvet Revolver and misuses logical fallacies despite studying for his BA in philosophy.

Let me tell you, OP, it gets better! You'll lose that 80 pounds, move to Las Vegas, and find that girl who thinks anal sex is great and appreciates your wiliness to go out at 2 am to pick her up egg drop soup.

Then one day, you'll run into Ms. Tongue Piercing and she'll be all over you, but you'll be like, "Sorry, I don't think this will work Kirsten. Also, while I might not have as good a taste in music as Mr. Spiky Green hair, I seem to have something he lacks. A JOB."

But you won't say that to her because you're a nice guy.

Modifié par Maria Caliban, 23 juin 2011 - 01:50 .

[Joshd21]

Because I think either A: The bad guy has that confidence thing
B: They like short term dating

Also if you have biollions of dollars girls will like you, because they like to take the money that we have and spend on things. I have spent much time considering and thinking about why they do this and that, after not coming up with any anyswer.

Modifié par Joshd21, 23 juin 2011 - 01:51 .