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Okay, so I was bored and I made this, what do you guys think?


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#1
crazyaz

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 Starting Normandy II
CrewChat©[/b]
Quariangirl13:[/b]  Hey is anyone else
on?

Legion:[/b]  We are online.

CerberusOfficer1:[/b]  I’m on

Quariangirl13:[/b]
Cool, what’re you talking about?

Legion:[/b]  We were discussing Shepard-Commander.

Quariangirl13:[/b]  Anything specific?

Legion:[/b]  Miranda was asking me who I thought
Shepard-Commander finds attractive.

Quariangirl13: [/b] Oh really?

CerberusOfficer1:[/b]  It was just gossiping anyway

Quariangirl13: [/b] Legion likes to gossip?

Legion:[/b]  She asked me a question.

Quariangirl13:[/b]  So Legion, who did you think he’s attracted
to?

Legion:[/b]  Shepard Commander has told us.  We were informed not to divulge the
information even upon threat of death

CerberusOfficer1:[/b]  He always says that when you ask that.

IHateCerberusCheerleader
is Online[/b]

IHateCerberusCheerleader:[/b]  Hey, how’s it going?

Quariangirl13:[/b]  Uh... Jack?

IHateCerberusCheerleader:[/b]  Yeah, what’s up?

CerberusOfficer1: [/b] What’s with your name?

IHateCerberusCheerleader:[/b]  What, you got a problem with it Cheerleader?

CerberusOfficer1:[/b]  Never mind.

IHateCerberusCheerleader:[/b]  Whatever

ReaperSlayer17 is
online[/b]

ReaperSlayer17:[/b]  Hello?

Quariangirl13:[/b]  Shepard?

ReaperSlayer17:[/b]  Hey, Tali

CerberusOfficer1:[/b]  Was there something you wanted to talk about,
Commander?

ReaperSlayer17:[/b]  Just wanted to talk

CerberusOfficer1:[/b]  What went on back at the Citadel?

ReaperSlayer17:[/b]  Me, Tali, and Garrus were tracking this
Turian named Sidonis. He betrayed Garrus a while back

IHateCerberusCheerleader:[/b]  How’d you kill him?

Quariangirl13:[/b]  He didn’t, when we caught him, Shepard was
able to convince Garrus to let him go. Sidonis is repentant of what he did.

IHateCerberusCheerleader:[/b]  Pssh, ****.

Quariangirl13:[/b]  Well I think it’s noble that he gave Sidonis
a second chance.

ReaperSlayer17:[/b] Thanks

ReaperSlayer17:[/b]
Oh yeah, also, we’re going back to Tuchanka. Turns out Wrex says in order to go
through “Krogan Puberdy” Grunt and two of us have to kill a large amount of
animals in the ruins of the city. Any volunteers?

IHateCerberusCheerleader:[/b]
Killing random animals? I’m already on my way there!

ReaperSlayer17:[/b]
And I thought it would be hard getting a volunteer.

ReaperSlayer17:[/b]
Let’s go.

ReaperSlayer17 is
offline[/b]

IHateCerberusCheerleader
is offline[/b]

Quariangirl13:[/b]
So. What do you want to talk about?

CerberusOfficer1:[/b]
I don’t know…what was being on the original squad like?

Quariangirl13:[/b]
Well, Wrex was there, He was…unpleasant at first.  Liara was less hell-bent on killing the Shadow
Broker, and she kept coming on to Shepard, He turned her down in the end
though.

CerberusOfficer1:[/b]
What about the other two?

Quariangirl13:[/b]
Kaidan was  alright, but Ashley Williams,
she was a bosht’et.

Legion:[/b] What was
your reason for reaching this conclusion?

Quariangirl13:[/b]
She also kept coming on to Shepard, so her and Liara would get into long
arguments, She hated all non-humans, so she was mean to me. In the end Shepard
ended up turning her down too. Serves her right.

CerberusOfficer1:[/b]
So, you wanted her dead?

Quariangirl13:[/b]
Oh, no nothing like that[/i]. I just
would hate for Alenko to be dead instead. If he disliked me for being Quarian,
he never gave any reason to suspect so…and he never tried to poison my food.

CerberusOfficer1:[/b]
She tried to poison your food?

Quariangirl13:[/b]
Well, she poked my food, and that was after I told the whole squad how
something like that could kill me.

CerberusOfficer1:[/b]
Why’d she want You[/i] dead? Were you in
the competition to get Shepard?

Quariangirl13:[/b]
The thought had crossed my mind, but I’m a Quarian, I couldn’t be with him. She
wanted me dead because she said “non humans shouldn’t be studying an Alliance
vessel as advanced as the Normandy”

CerberusOfficer1:[/b]
What did Shepard do when he found out?

Quariangirl13:[/b] He
saved Kaidan Alenko.

Legion:[/b] My
battery is running low. G2G while I charge it.

Legion is Offline[/b]

Quariangirl13:[/b]
did Legion just say G2G?

CerberusOfficer1:[/b]
So, just between us, do you think the reason Shepard turned both of them down
was because he liked You?[/i]

Quariangirl13:[/b] I
had never considered that

CerberusOfficer1:[/b]
So did you like him?

Quariangirl13:[/b]
well…

TurianRebel is online[/b]

TurianRebel:[/b] Hey
guys, what’s up?

Quariangirl13:[/b]
Not Much

CerberusOfficer1:[/b]
Just Gossiping

TurianRebel:[/b]  You know that Shepard gets a copy of all
conversations sent to his Private Terminal right?

MercwithaMission is
online[/b]

MercwithaMission:[/b]
Hey guys, the Quarian Engineer is unconscious.

TurianRebel:[/b] Is
she okay?

MercwithaMission:[/b]
I think so, I’m gonna take her to the medbay just in case, I’m logging her out.

CerberusOfficer1:[/b]
If something’s wrong with our Engineer, things could get bad.

Quariangirl13 is
offline[/b]

MercwithaMission:[/b]
Doctor Chakwas says she just feinted, and should be awake in a few minutes, or
hours.

TurianRebel:[/b]
Wait, she Feinted?

MercwithaMission:[/b]
apparently she feinted due to sudden distress

CerberusOfficer1:[/b]
hey I’ve been thinking.

TurianRebel:[/b]
yeah?

CerberusOfficer1:[/b]
do any of us know Shepard’s first name?

TurianRebel:[/b]
wait, Shepard’s not his first name?

MercwithaMission:[/b]
‘Course not!

CerberusOfficer1:[/b]
hold up, let’s get everyone in on this question [/b]

Ninjadrell is online[/b]

JediMaster is online[/b]

DoctaSolus is online[/b]

ThePriiize is online[/b]

Ninjadrell: [/b]why
did you interrupt my meditations?

ThePriiize:[/b] dude,
I was doing Side Crunches, what do you want?

JediMaster:[/b] I was
reciting my code for the 1,225,976th time, I hope you have good
reason for interrupting me.

DoctaSolus:[/b]
Investigating Scale Itch on Normandy, what is it?

TurianRebel:[/b] Does
anyone here know Commander Shepard’s First Name?

The Priiize:[/b]
Never told me

DoctaSolus:[/b] Don’t
know

Ninjadrell:[/b] I
have perfect memory, and it has never come up.

JediMaster:[/b] he
never gave his first name

Quariangirl13 is
online[/b]

Quariangirl13:[/b]
why’s everyone on?

DoctaSolus:[/b]
Trying to find out Shepard’s First Name.

Quariangirl13:[/b]
It’s Marak

TurianRebel:[/b] How
do you know?

Quariangirl13:[/b] What?
You didn’t know?

CerberusOfficer1:[/b]
I just checked the Database, his first name is Marak

MercwithaMission:[/b]
we know, Tali Just told us.

CerberusOfficer1:[/b]
how’d she know?

Quariangirl13:[/b] I
asked him last time he was in the Engine Room

CerberusOfficer1:[/b]
What else do you talk about when he’s in there?

Quariangirl13:[/b]
You know, he asks about the floatilla, and my suit. Stuff like that.

Legion is online[/b]

Legion: [/b]Recharge Complete.

ReaperSlayer17 is online[/b]

IHateCerberusCheerleader is online[/b]

ThresherThrasher is online[/b]

ReaperSlayer17:[/b] we’re back

IHateCerberusCheerleader:[/b] That Giant
worm thing was insane

ThresherThrasher:[/b] Best Day Ever!!!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I was bored when I made it, and it's not really complete, but tell me what you think :)

#2
Robhuzz

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At first I was like: What the...? But after reading through it, it's actually kinda funny. I liked how you nicknamed Jacob "The priiiize".

Could do with a little EDI interrupt. Something like "It is against Cerberus protocols to share idle gossip". Or when the thing gets a little touchy (Like Jack getting angry at Miranda), she receives a temporary ban from EDI or something. XD

#3
wilhelm Screamer

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Reminds me of those chatlogs in the humor section of that site dedicated to mass effect saves.

#4
crazyaz

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Sure, I wasn't really sure if I was even going to continue it, but I'll try to make a new one by tuesday.

#5
patocerda

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I actually liked it pretty much...it was perfect for this boring day, thank you!

#6
crazyaz

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 Here's the next one, hope you enjoy
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Starting Normandy II
CrewChat©[/b]

ReaperSlayer17 is
Online[/b]

JediMaster is Online[/b]

TurianRebel is Online[/b]

Reaperslayer17:[/b]
Wait, so like, even if you KNEW that he was only doing it because his wife was
being held hostage…

JediMaster:[/b] I’d
still be obligated to kill him, yes

TurianRebel:[/b]
Harsh.

JediMaster:[/b] The
code is very strict.

ReaperSlayer17:[/b]
Okay, what if you were forced to choose between killing a helpless man to save
someone, or through inaction, let the other person die?

JediMaster:[/b] Kill
the man, feel bad later.

TurianRebel:[/b]
Crap, the guns are on the fritz again, I swear these **** things need
recalibration EVERY FIVE MINUTES!

ReaperSlayer17:[/b]
Take care man, we’ll be here when you’re done.

TurianRebel is
Offline[/b]

Quariangirl13 is Online[/b]

JediMaster:[/b] Any
other scenarios?

ReaperSlayer17:[/b]
If an Ardat-Yakshi was in Omega, how would you catch her?

JediMaster:[/b] Use
you as bait. Oh, by the way, the Ardat-Yakshi I’m chasing is on Omega, I was
looking for a way to talk to you about this actually.

Quariangirl13:[/b]
Wait, you want to use Shepard, the galaxy’s ONLY hope, as bait for some sexual
serial-killer?

JediMaster:[/b] He’ll
be fine, he’s very strong willed. I’m sure he’ll be able to resist her.

Quariangirl13:[/b]
But what if he can’t?

JediMaster:[/b] I’ll
be following him the whole time Tali, if I see her try to control him, I’ll
just kill her.

ReaperSlayer17:[/b]
Oh yay, I feel so much better about this. Ah well, I’ll go get ready.

JediMaster:[/b] Meet
you at the Airlock in 10

JediMaster is Offline[/b]

Quariangirl13:[/b]
Shepard?

ReaperSlayer17:[/b]
Yeah Tali?

Quariangirl13:[/b]
Umm, Garrus told me you get all copies of our chats sent to your private
terminal, I was wondering if you could maybe, not read the last one,

ReaperSlayer17:[/b]
lol, Tali, Garrus is messing with you. That would be an invasion of the crew’s
privacy. EDI does though, so if you don’t want that conversation on record, you
should tell her.

Quariangirl13:[/b] Thanks
Shepard, sorry it’s just that we were talking about something private.

ReaperSlayer17:[/b]
No problem. I’d better go.

ReaperSlayer17 is
Offline[/b]

Quariangirl13:[/b]
Wait there was one more thing

Quariangirl13:[/b]
Shoot…

TurianRebel is Online[/b]

Quariangirl13:[/b]
Hey Garrus,

TurianRebel:[/b] Did
you tell him?

Quariangirl13:[/b] I
was going to, but Samara needed him for a mission, and he left.

TurianRebel:[/b]
Dang, don’t worry Tali, you’ll get your chance.

Quariangirl13:[/b]
But what if Miranda or Jack hits on him? They’re HUMAN he can be with them
without them getting sick, or dying. I can’t even really hold his hand without
risking my life.

TurianRebel:[/b]
Look, he always checks in with Kelly, right?

Quariangirl13:[/b]
Yeah, so?

TurianRebel:[/b] So
tell Kelly that you want to talk to him, in private, she’ll send him over to
you, and you can tell him.

Quariangirl13:[/b]
But what if he doesn’t feel the same way?

TurianRebel:[/b] Well
Tali, sometimes you’ve just got to chance it

Quariangirl13:[/b]
Thanks Garrus, I’ll go tell her right now

Quariangirl13 is
Offline[/b]

CerberusOfficer1 is
Online[/b]

CerberusOfficer1:[/b]
Hey, Garrus?

TurianRebel:[/b]
Yeah?

CerberusOfficer1:[/b]
You’re friends with Shepard, right?

TurianRebel:[/b]
yeah…why?

CerberusOfficer1:[/b]
I was wondering, do you and him ever have talks?

TurianRebel:[/b] Yes,
he said you were beating around the bush and that he thinks you should tell me
what you’re really trying to ask me.

CerberusOfficer1:[/b]
Do you think I have a shot with him?

TurianRebel:[/b] Why
are you asking me?

CerberusOfficer1:[/b]
You know him better, and you’re his best friend.

TurianRebel:[/b]
Well, uh, I don’t think he’s into being in a relationship right now, what if he
and you get in a relationship, and then you die when we go through the Omega4?

CerberusOfficer1:[/b]
Oh, I get it…It wouldn’t have worked out anyway…

CerberusOfficer1:[/b]
I should…send a report to TIM, or, file some files, or…something.

Cerberus Officer1 is
Offline[/b]

EDI:[/b] Really,
Garrus? She’s crying in her office now.

TurianRebel:[/b]
Look, Tali’s waited YEARS to be with Shepard, and I think she’s got the best
shot.

EDI:[/b] I’m going to
tell Miranda

TurianRebel:[/b] You
tell her about that and I’ll tell Joker our little ‘secret’

EDI:[/b] You
wouldn’t!

TurianRebel:[/b] Try
me.

EDI:[/b] Fine, I
won’t tell Miranda.

TurianRebel:[/b] Good

Quariangirl13 is
Online[/b]

Quariangirl13:[/b]
I’m back!

TurianRebel:[/b] Did
you leave a message with Kelly?

Quariangirl13:[/b]
well, I’m on the list, right behind Thane.

TurianRebel:[/b]
Well, hey, at least you’re on the list.

Quariangirl13:[/b]
Yeah, hey Garrus, promise you won’t tell him?

TurianRebel:[/b]
You’re taking all the fun out of this…

Quariangirl13:[/b]
Promise?

TurianRebel:[/b]
Yeah, I promise.

Quariangirl13:[/b]
Shepard’s back from his mission! I’m going to um, examine the engines…

TurainRebel:[/b] Say
they need recalibrating; I know they’re not the ship’s guns but…AWW NOT AGAIN

Quariangirl13:[/b]
Again?

TurianRebel:[/b] brb

Quariangirl13 is
Offline[/b]

ReaperSlayer17 is
Online[/b]

ReaperSlayer17 has
set this chat to Private[/b]

ReaperSlayer17:[/b]
Garrus, we need to talk

TurianRebel:[/b] Can
it wait for a bit? I’m in the middle of some calibrations.

ReaperSlayer17:[/b]
No, it can’t “wait for a bit”

TurianRebel:[/b]
Fine, what is it?

ReaperSlayer17:[/b]
Well, um, here’s the thing, you have to promise to NEVER tell this to ANYONE

TurianRebel:[/b] I
promise.

ReaperSlayer17:[/b] I
think I have a crush on Tali

TurianRebel:[/b]
And…I can’t tell her?

ReaperSlayer17:[/b]
Of course not! You’re sworn to secrecy!

TurianRebel:[/b] Of
course, well, I need to get back to my calibrations.

ReaperSlayer17:[/b]
So, I was wondering, you and her being friends, how do you think I should tell
her?

TurianRebel:[/b] I’m
sure the opportunity will present itself soon enough…

ReaperSlayer17 has
ended Private Chat[/b]

Quariangirl13 is
Online[/b]

TurianRebel:[/b] Oh
look at the time, lots of calibrations to do…

TurianRebel is
Offline[/b]

Quariangirl13:[/b]
Shepard? So, you’re back from chasing that Ardat-Yakshi?

ReaperSlayer17:[/b]
Yeah, she tried to mess with my mind, but it didn’t work out.

Quariangirl13:[/b] of
course not, nothing gets in your way and survives.

Quariangirl13:[/b]
Hey Shepard I have a question.

IHateCerberusCheerleader
is Online[/b]

IHateCerberusCheerleader:[/b]
Sup?

Quariangirl13:[/b]
Never mind…
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Modifié par crazyaz, 31 juillet 2011 - 05:13 .


#7
patocerda

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great one... poor Tali, though :)

#8
thompsmt

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Heh.

#9
Jafroboy

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Heh, the first one was funny, and I was about to post and say it was good to read something that didnt creep me out, and smack of fan wishful thinking, then I read the second one...

#10
Darth_Ravor

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Hilarious! I demand more!

#11
will05

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Hehehe... The priize... Funny! :)

#12
Darth_Ravor

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MORE

#13
Toki

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I literally lol'd when he told Garrus the calibrations couldn't wait x)

#14
crazyaz

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I've always wanted to tell Garrus that.

#15
Toki

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He's my favorite character, but dammit what's so important? xD

#16
crazyaz

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I might not do more of these for a while, something just happened,

#17
Toki

Toki
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Oh no :( Well hopefully we'll see them again someday x)

#18
crazyaz

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Okay, things are starting to settle down, I should be able to start making some new CrewChats in a week or two.