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[TexasToast712]

Grunt: Shepard...........
Shepard: Give me back my action figures.
Grunt: 

(Read his extranet searches in his LotSB dossier)

[PauseforEffect]

Kaiden: I thought you were dead, Commander. We all did.
*Reaches out to hug Shepard*
*Shepard grabs his head*
Kaiden: Shepard! What the hell are you doing?
Shepard: This has been driving me nuts for a long time Kaiden, what the frak is that on your head?! I have never seen any guy with a hairstyle like that and I can't tell if it's an afro or an elvis!

[Darksaberexile]

Turian Councilor: Ah yes, "Reapers", we have dismissed those claims.
Shepard: Ah yes, the "Turian Councilor", I have dismissed this idiot.

Shepard: Ok everyone, we're ready to go attack the Collectors as soon as the IFF is online. Let me inspect your weapons and armor to make sure you're prepared. Garrus, you're good to go. You too Grunt. Legion, well, part of your armor is a piece of my old armor, so I can't really say no to that. Tali you're fine, since your suit is the best you can get. Samara, I'm not sure that's the best choice of armor, there's some pretty obvious areas lacking protection. Mordin, Jack, Miranda, Thane...are you seriously planning to wear those outfits into battle? You are? *Shepard head-desks*

[Homebound]

lumen11 wrote...

Hellbound555 wrote...

to my ME1 Shepard: "Hi Shepard, I'm your conscience..

You've travelled very far from home...

Do you remember how your long and winding journey began with someone pounding on your door?

It was Smelly, the brattiest kid in your entire colony, who knocked on your door that fateful night.

On your way you have soldiered on. Through all this, you never lost your will to keep going. You have grown steadily stronger, though you have experienced the pain of a profound loss time and time again like on Akuze.

You are no longer alone in your adventure, Ashley, who is loyal, steadfast and even pretty, is always at your side. Wrex is with you as well. Though brutal in his dealings, he came from a distant land to help you.

Shepard, as you certainly know by now, you are not another faceless Alliance commando...
....You have an awesome destiny to fulfill.

The journey from will be long and will be more painful than anything you've ever undergone at this point. Yet I know you will be alright. 
When the inner turmoil of good and evil rages on inside of us all, who do believe will prevail? Do you have faith that good in people will triumph?

One thing that we must never lose is courage. If you believe in what you strive for, you will be courageous.
There are many difficult times ahead, but you must keep your sense of humor, work through the tough times and enjoy yourself.

I wish you luck..."

I wish my conscience gave me a good pep talk every once in a while...

To Lumen11's ME2 Shepard:

"Like a great tapestry, vertical and horizontal threads have met and become intertwined creating a far-reaching and bleak future.
You may have cursed this never-ending journey. You have known loss and heart-ache, but you have sojourned on to reach this place.

Believe in your friends, as they believe in you, Shepard. Have you considered how much you've achieved?
Your decisions both past and present have shaped the things to come.  As you certainly know, you cannot turn back.

The Reapers are out there, and they are growing frightened of your power. They are desperately searching for ways to end you.
From here, the challenges grows and a great biotic wind will drive you to frightening precipices. You are drawing nearer to the Reapers, and they are coming for you.

But remember, when you are suffering these hardships, your enemies are also struggling.
Your destiny tugs at you even harder, will you choose the right path?

Believe in yourself, and press forward."

[Homebound]

Shepard: (To Jack) "Who hurt you Jack? Who hurt you? Who-hurt-you who-hurt-you who-hurt you?"-saaaadface-

[AnimaTempli101]

Jack: Don't worry, joyriding's lost it's appeal and besides, if I wanted your ship I'd take it.

Shepard: Jack, I've brought down a Reaper, two Spectres, dozens of Asari commandos, Collectors by the score and God knows how many mercs as well and several Thresher Maws. What could you possibly do that would make you a tougher enemy than them?

[Spanky Magoo]

to the vs if they give me $#!% about miranda: you know how you called me a traitor and stormed off? yea that stuff wont fly with me now or else you'll find yourself guarding the next nuke I set.)

[Homebound]

AnimaTempli101 wrote...

Jack: Don't worry, joyriding's lost it's appeal and besides, if I wanted your ship I'd take it.

Shepard: Jack, I've brought down a Reaper, two Spectres, dozens of Asari commandos, Collectors by the score and God knows how many mercs as well and several Thresher Maws. What could you possibly do that would make you a tougher enemy than them?

Jack: *Pulls out a detonator*

[InkognitoY]

To Harbinger:

H - “These attacks are pointless.”
S - Then why do you keep wasting my time?

H - "This body does not matter.”
S - Then why use it?

H - “The flesh is a machine.”
S - You're a machine too! So might as well start cleansing the galaxy by killing yourself.

H - “This body's pain is irrelevant.”
S - Do you want me to kiss your boo-boo Harby?

H - “I am limitless. You are bacteria.”
S - You mad?

H - “Impressive, Shepard.”
“Focus on Shepard.”
“Stop, Shepard.”
“You cannot stop us, Shepard.”
“Shepard, you could have been useful.”
S - Harbinger, I will never love you! So STOP. STALKING. ME.

[Bcuz]

Garrus, what exactly ARE you calibrating?

[silentassassin264]

Harbinger: "You cannot resist."
Shep: "M'kay, I got the wine coolers so what now?"
Harbinger: "What?"
Shep: "I'm ready to bend to you."
Harbinger signs off

FLAWLESS VICTORY

[Clara Shepard]

*escaping from earth, hopping on the normandy with Kaidan pulling shepard up*
Kaidan: "Shepard.. I... thank god you're safe, I'm so glad to see you..."
Shepard: *looks over to Anderson and very bluntly asks*; "What the hell is this pansy doing on my ship?"
Kaidan: "Shepard... Wha.. Why are you angry at me?"
Shepard: "You did not just ask a woman why she is angry..."
*followed by Shepard's best back hand b****slap ever presented*

because I've always wanted to slap Kaidan for the Horizon incident ಠ_ಠ

possibly followed by some make up time in the Captain's Quarters

Modifié par Clara Shepard, 03 août 2011 - 08:07 .

[roflchoppaz]

Shepard: I love you.
Legion: *pause* We are reaching consensus, please come back later.

Modifié par roflchoppaz, 03 août 2011 - 08:21 .

[CroGamer002]

roflchoppaz wrote...

Shepard: I love you.
Legion: ... ... We are reaching consensus, please come back later.

*Shepard comes back after 1 mission*

Legion: We have reached the consensus.
Shepard: And?
Legion We would like to leave Normandy.

[dgcatanisiri]

"Jack. What part of 'suicide mission with many people trying to shoot at us and kill us' isn't clear? I'm all for self-expression, sure, but a biotic superpowered **** is still susceptible to bullets. Put on some damn armor!"

[Ghost Warrior]

Harbinger: This hurts you!
Shepard: It's gonna hurt you a helluva lot more!

H: You are bacteria!
S: You are squid!

H:You are shortsighted!
S: How...how did you know that? Got access to my medical records?

H: We are the beginning,you are the end!
S: I'm not sure you know what that means...
or
S: Yeah,the end of you.

H: Relinquish your form to us!
S: I'll relinquish one bullet. Where do you want it?

H: I sense your weakness.
S: I sense your stupidity.

H: You are no longer relevant.
S: You were never relevant.

H: Impressive,Shepard.
S: I know.

H: You cannot stop us,Shepard!
S: We'll see about that.

H: Shepard,I always survive.
S: Me too. Except that one time...

H: You are arrogant, Shepard, you will learn.
S: Look who's talking?

H: I know you feel this.
S: Pervert!

[tiimeforplanb]

To Kaidan before Eden Prime:

Kaidan: Nihlis gives you a compliment and you...
Shep: Aw ****, who let Carth Jr. on my ship?!

[bleetman]

"This is the only shuttle off the station. You want to stay here and rot with the mechs, be my guest."
"The 'only shuttle'? Are you sure?"

Modifié par bleetman, 03 août 2011 - 03:47 .

[Ghost Warrior]

bleetman wrote...

"This is the only shuttle off the station. You want to stay here and rot with the mechs, be my guest."
"The 'only shuttle'? Are you sure?"

lol,I never noticed that. But that line is already ridiculous for other reasons.

[ReallyRue]

Looking at Miranda's catsuit: I guess it's like a major event for you every time you have to use the loo, hmm?

Looking at Jack's chest-straps: Are the tattoos to hide the bullet wounds?

Looking at Legion's 'chest': 'There was a hole'? There's still a hole! I could fit my whole head in that thing!

Looking at Garrus' armour: I know you want to feel like a war-torn badass, but seriously, how hard is it to repair your armour?

Looking at Samara's armour: So that's what several hundred years without a bra looks like...

Looking at Thane's outfit: So, being in humid enviroments speeds up the rate of your disease. You have part of your chest bare to slow the rate... and yet you thought a half-catsuit was the way to go?


Seriously, there's something to say about almost everyone's outfit!

Modifié par ReallyRue, 03 août 2011 - 03:56 .

[Gregolian]

ReallyRue wrote...
Looking at Garrus' armour: I know you want to feel like a war-torn badass, but seriously, how hard is it to repair your armour?

I felt the same way after his loyalty mission.  I was like:
"WTF Garrus....  all you did was paint your broken down set?  WTF?!"

tiimeforplanb wrote...

To Kaidan before Eden Prime:

Kaidan: Nihlis gives you a compliment and you...
Shep: Aw ****, who let Carth Jr. on my ship?!

Mine was:
"Crap, now I have to deal with Carth...  AGAIN!"

[jeweledleah]

its kinda funny, that people keep fixating on Carth despite the only real similarity between characters being the voice, and completely forget about this guy http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/RC-1262

either way.

the biggest thing I always wanted to say to my squadmates was on virmire - ordering the leftover 3 to safeguard the bomb, while Shepard and the squad could go ahead and pick up the survivors at the AA tower. thus, having no actual need for a virmire choice

@ TIM. no I don't believe you and I'm going nowhere with your lackeys, not until I report to Anderson and the Council and get scanned for abnormalities.
@ Virmire survivor on Horizon. wait, stop. ok, lets start over. yeah, I'm working with Cerberus and pretty sure they ARE trying to manipulate me, but right now the best way for me to sabotage whatever that is that Illusive man is planning - is from the inside. I don't like it anymore then you do, but colonies Are disappearing and collectors are using husks, which makes them in some way connected to reapers. so I need to to keep doing what you are doing just... don't make any final judgements yet.
@Tali - your crush is very flattering and sweet, but I think you should sleep on it for a while, see if the hero worship wears off.
@ Jacob. you still owe me those drinks.
@ Miranda. you are very intelligent, but you need some work on your interpersonal skills, so I suggest some sessions with Kelly.
@ Garrus, my man - you have got to stop blaming yourself for everything that ever goes wrong and allowing your mistakes to cripple you with doubts. everyone makes mistakes. no one is perfect. sometimes its really not you. so stop relying so much on my opinion. tell me off for crists sakes.

Modifié par jeweledleah, 03 août 2011 - 06:09 .

[shepskisaac]

jeweledleah wrote...

its kinda funny, that people keep fixating on Carth despite the only real similarity between characters being the voice, and completely forget about this guy http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/RC-1262

People just make the simpliest connections between everything, they can't grasp the idea two things can be different, for them they HAVE to be similar/the same as something else, nothing can be judged on its own, it must reference to something else. Kaidan & Carth sharing the same voice actor (nevermind different performance and pitch) = ZOMG it's the same character!!! Britney & Christina having blond hair (nevermind completly different music & voices) = ZOMG blond pop clones!!! etc