This is the way I saw Dragon Age 2. I do not mean any disrespect to Bioware, which made in my opinion a good game. Let me know if I should continue don't want to spam the forum if no one likes it or its too stupid.
Prologue:
(The Hawke family is being chased by darkspawn)
Family: We better hurry or the Darkspawn will get us.
Hawke: My God!!!! I can't believe I am fighting Darkspawn at Lv. 1!!! I mean this are the same people that killed Duncan which was at least Lv. 20.
Carver: Sorry I was a little late you know I had to escape in that big battle at Ostigar.
Hawke: So wait you fought darkspawn at Lv. 0?
Carver: Yes. why?
Hawke: I don't know just seems we should be fighting rats or kobolds or something like that, ohh well. Anyway, how did you escape?
Carver: Easy, just leaving the battlefield....its much easier when you don't have a party. Then you can't go foward whitout gathering your party, duh!
Hawke: I might be wrong here but in the last Dragon Age werent the Wardens and the Army surrounded? I mean that was the plan a classic outflacking manuver by cavalry or soldiers. I mean....I am no general or something but having a friking castle on your back surrounded by enemies everywhere and having a King that could not escape makes it damn near impossible.
Carver: What can I say? There was an exit behind me.
(Darkspawn attack) (You win and Lv. up)
Hawke: So let me get this straight Varric, NOW I am learning how to Lv. up when fighting the most deadly thing in Ferelden.
Varric:Yes, lets continue with the story...now you meet one of your allies or rivals avaleine....even though it appears you can hit on her she will later pick another guy.
Avaleine: Hi! This is my soon to be dead husband we escaped the battle of Ostagar.
Hawke: Wow! No one though to try and have the king escape with your guys?
Avaleine: Nah, too many people to move foward. Plus that Duncan guy seemed to know what he was doing
Hawke: Ok
Soon to be dead husband: I will hunt down mages since I am a templar
Hawke: Really, now is not the time for this crap...in case you din't know we have darkspawn on our rears
Varric: They fight and bunch of darkspawn and one of the siblings dies. It does not matter what you did is your class.
Hawke: Wait, so my class determines which of my siblings lives or dies?
Varric: Yep
Hawke: Wow that seems like a lot of wasted diaolge that I can't hear on my first try. I mean they could have used that time on some other things like macking maps.
Varric: why you say maps.?
Hawke: Trust me, this is my third playthough. Anyway why not make one character and have that character change classes depending on what I am?
Varric: I don't know seems too logical to me...Flemeth now appears and offers you a deal. You are forced to take it or die.
Hawke: Flemeth!!! You look soo much different now, still have the same sexy voice.
Flemeth: Thank you, either accept my deal or die and BTW kill that guy over there.
Hawke: Aye, Aye Captain Janeway!!
Varric: So they go to a city called Kirkwall, in which they don't let them in.
Dragon Age 2 (The way I saw it)
Débuté par
riveraeg
, août 12 2011 08:11
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