77 réponses à ce sujet

[Nashiktal]

I always loved the old spice commercial memes that add Garrus to them.

I had an amazing one wrote up in the garrus thread that I cannot find... but I remember how it ended.

"I'm on a keeper"

[Rondine90]

-Garrus normaly uses a Thanix cannon for missions on food, but after 3 Day it was him too boring so he changed to Maschiengun
-If Garrus goes into the plaguezone, he don´t get ill. The plague
gets Garrus... and all others died
-Garrus called him self Archangel, cuz would he call him Garrus Vakarian...no merc had come
-Garrus mix Forvan poison with Ryncol every morning...just to brash his teeth.
-Why there no female Turians? Garrus...was faster...as allways (same vor Krogans...Salarians...Baterians...usw)
-Sovereign only attacks the Citatel, cuz he heard Garrus left C-Sec
-Garrus came into a bar...no survivors
-Legion wanted to infiltrate the Normandy S2...after noticed Garrus on ship...he invented a story about heretics...just to save his own neck.
-Garrus is the only one who can be shot in the stomage...survive, and look damn good at it!
-Garrus can´t be loyal... After his mission Shepard is loyal to him
-On Kasumis Greybox, stand the same sentence like on Jessy, Talis suit, Mirandas ass, EDIs VI core and the OMEGA 4 Portal..."calibrated by Garrus"
-If Garrus miss... he only wants to shot the eye out of that god damn squirrel on the Planat behind...
-Garrus teaches the techno turians his moves
-Why is there no Squad fight scene with Garrus, like Miranda/Jack or Tali/Legion?...C´mon...you know the answere

Modifié par Rondine90, 31 août 2011 - 10:45 .

[WazzuMan]

- Garrus Vakarian can bend adamantium.
- A telepath's head explodes from pure awesomeness if they tried to read Garrus' mind.
- Garrus Vakarian knows where the Illusive Man lives, he's just too busy calibrating.
- The first Reaper was an unsuccessful attempt to clone Garrus Vakarian.
- Garrus Vakarian had to calibrate his sniper rifles so his headshots were less powerful. He had decided the universe had enough black holes.

[Gambit1st]

- Garrus Vakarian has to calibrate a lot because everyone complained his improvements on the weapons and armor were too strong for them.
- Garrus Vakarian keeps saying he needs to calibrate stuff whenever Shepard talks to him because otherwise he`d expose Shepard too much to his awesomeness - which is deadly.
- Garrus didn`t become a Specter because they felt that title would be below him.

[Longsword-83]

Unlike most Turians, Garrus Vakarian does not have dextro-amino acid-based DNA. He has Garrus-based DNA, making him immune to all disease and killing anything that comes into contact with his fluids.

[dunfall14]

Longsword-83 wrote...

Unlike most Turians, Garrus Vakarian does not have dextro-amino acid-based DNA. He has Garrus-based DNA, making him immune to all disease and killing anything that comes into contact with his fluids.

I will hate to be female Shepard in a romance with Garrus then or anyone.

Modifié par dunfall14, 31 août 2011 - 12:38 .

[Thy King]

Somebody raided the chuck norris facts website...

[Nashiktal]

*Garrus walks onto your TV screen*

Hello, ladies, look at your man, now back to me, now back at your man, now back to me. Sadly, he isn’t me, but if he stopped using ladies scented omnigel and switched to Turian Musk, he could smell like he’s me. Look down, back up, where are you? You’re on the Normandy with the Turian your man could smell like. What’s in your hand, back at me. I have it, it’s a mini shfity-eyed-cow with two tickets to that Expel-Ten band you love. Look again, the tickets are now diamonds. Anything is possible when your man smells like Garrus and not a lady. I’m on keeper.”

Made this months ago. No it doesn't have anything to do with the old spice garrus gif,

[darthnick427]

Nashiktal wrote...

*Garrus walks onto your TV screen*

Hello, ladies, look at your man, now back to me, now back at your man, now back to me. Sadly, he isn’t me, but if he stopped using ladies scented omnigel and switched to Turian Musk, he could smell like he’s me. Look down, back up, where are you? You’re on the Normandy with the Turian your man could smell like. What’s in your hand, back at me. I have it, it’s a mini shfity-eyed-cow with two tickets to that Expel-Ten band you love. Look again, the tickets are now diamonds. Anything is possible when your man smells like Garrus and not a lady. I’m on keeper.”

Made this months ago. No it doesn't have anything to do with the old spice garrus gif,

Hahahaha very nice.

[Thallia_CroGun]

Nashiktal wrote...

*Garrus walks onto your TV screen*

Hello, ladies, look at your man, now back to me, now back at your man, now back to me. Sadly, he isn’t me, but if he stopped using ladies scented omnigel and switched to Turian Musk, he could smell like he’s me. Look down, back up, where are you? You’re on the Normandy with the Turian your man could smell like. What’s in your hand, back at me. I have it, it’s a mini shfity-eyed-cow with two tickets to that Expel-Ten band you love. Look again, the tickets are now diamonds. Anything is possible when your man smells like Garrus and not a lady. I’m on keeper.”

Made this months ago. No it doesn't have anything to do with the old spice garrus gif,

http://www.escapistm...ss-Spice-Effect

[Dunmer of Redoran]

Garrus Vakarian once blew up a star in Batarian space by blinking at it.

When the Batarians told him "You can't do that!" he blinked, they blew up, and he went back to his calibrations.

[nitefyre410]

Garrus Vakarian in Turain means Alpha and Omega.

Garrus Vakarian guns are named   Pity and Fool.


If a Garrus Vakarian dies in ME 2 when import that game to ME 3 you get a instant Critical Mission Failure screen corrupting that save and forcing you play ME 2 again.

If Garrus Vakarian dies in ME 2 in ME 3 you find him on Omega. You say he died on the Collector base to which he said "He woke up a week Later naked in Illium pleasure hotel."

Modifié par nitefyre410, 01 septembre 2011 - 12:47 .

[Arik7]

Sovereign has hidden himself inside the citadel to escape from Garrus Vakarian
Saren shoots himself in the head rather than fight Garrus Vakarian
Garrus Vakarian has live thresher maws for breakfast
Garrus Vakarian takes direct control of Harbinger
Garrus Vakarian knows Harbinger feels this

[Arik7]

If Shepard doesn't get to Garrus Vakarian soon, he won't have any Reapers left to kill

[Longsword-83]

dunfall14 wrote...

Longsword-83 wrote...

Unlike most Turians, Garrus Vakarian does not have dextro-amino acid-based DNA. He has Garrus-based DNA, making him immune to all disease and killing anything that comes into contact with his fluids.

I will hate to be female Shepard in a romance with Garrus then or anyone.

Nah, that's just a case of an unstoppable force meeting an immovable object.

Shep is the only thing in the universe capable of being on equal footing with Garrus, be it MaleShep or Femshep. But this is Garrus Vakarian Facts, so I didn't think to add that part in.

[Longsword-83]

Garrus Vakarian does not have kinetic barriers. He emits a field of intimidation so strong that mass effect slugs simply stop.

[Drone223]

When Garrus Vakarian urinates he urinates Tupari

The combine were orignally going to invade the ME universe until they realised that Garrus Vakarian lived in that universe so they invaded the HL universe instead

The flood cannot infect Garrus Vakarian, Garrus Vakarian infects the flood

Darth Malak jaw was not cut of by lord Revan it was shot off by a bullet fired from Garrus Vakarian sinper rifle that same bullet killed Malak on the Star forge 

Modifié par Drone223, 01 septembre 2011 - 11:33 .

[lovgreno]

comrade8472 wrote...

"Garrus Vakarian burns through the shields of Haestrom's sun."

the only one that I dislike.
How can a sun have shields?

A sun can have shields if Garrus Vakarian says it can.

[Nilfalasiel]

lovgreno wrote...

comrade8472 wrote...

"Garrus Vakarian burns through the shields of Haestrom's sun."

the only one that I dislike.
How can a sun have shields?

A sun can have shields if Garrus Vakarian says it can.

That is clearly the most appropriate answer.

[lovgreno]

dunfall14 wrote...

Longsword-83 wrote...

Unlike most Turians, Garrus Vakarian does not have dextro-amino acid-based DNA. He has Garrus-based DNA, making him immune to all disease and killing anything that comes into contact with his fluids.

I will hate to be female Shepard in a romance with Garrus then or anyone.

The only living organisms are those that Garrus Vakarian allows to live and thus Femshep should be safe.

[lovgreno]

Garrus Vakarian always scores perfect headshots, even on enemies that doesn't have any head.

[CheesesackIII]

The developers of ME3 tried to nerf him, so the game wouldn't be too easy, but Garrus broke the 4th wall and beat them into submission. The game has now been renamed Vakarian-Effect 3.

Garrus Vakarian once forgot to turn his swagger off before going to sleep. When he woke up, the Normandy had crash landed from the added weight of all the women who had appeared in his bed.

The reason Garrus calibrates so much is because it's the only action he can perform that doesn't directly result in someone dying.

If you zoom in on the projectile which the Normandy fires to destroy Sovereign, you can see it is actually Garrus Vakarian.

[S.A.K]

Thought this is appropriate.

[King Minos]

Garrus can kill someone jut by whispering his name into his victims ear, the results include the victim collapsing onto the floor and vomiting blood and stomach acid while ****ting itself at the same time, the eyeballs swell up from blood and pop, same as the ear drums that burst due to extreme amounts of horror causing blood to gush out, teeth disintegrate, toe and finger nails drop off, if male then the victims balls will shrivel up and quickly retreat into the groin while the penis shrinks into a pepperami, pubic hair and hair itself will turn grey will drop out, the skin tone will then turn into a sickily grey tone and muscle mass burns away along with body fat. Organs will start to fail and victim will start to sweat profusely causing extreme dehydration and heavy breathing, bones will become brittle and shatter and the body form will the revert back into a fetid like state.

[WazzuMan]

Mass Effect hologram technology is "awesome" because Garrus Vakarian calibrated it.