Shinon's Special Report has become a lot less of a report and much more of just a camera following him around, but once they get to BBI, there will be more reporting, I promise.

But here's part 4 anyway:

Shinon: Here we are, folks. The pawn guild. Let's head inside and see who's around.
---
Shinon: Hey, boss!

Barnaby: Ah, Shinon. This pawn welcomes you. Your master just left for the rift. She came by and gave me another Arisen's Bond.
Shinon: Ugh. That's how many now?
Barnaby: *holds up hands* Eight. Your master is a very kind lady. I know you view our relationship as strange, but it really isn't.
Shinon: Oh, yes it is. I got lucky, I got a soul when I was created. You're... you're just a... thing.
Barnaby: I've lived among humans for centuries, I've learned from them.
Shinon: I saw what you "learned" in front of the damn Greatwall, thank you very much. You don't FEEL anything, it's sick.
Barnaby: I wish to learn, I believe Alynna can teach me.
Shinon: Gross. I don't understand why she couldn't find herself a nice human man.
Barnaby: You seem to be exhibiting what the humans call "jealousy."
Shinon: Nope, just disgust. She's like my mom. And I'd rather not continue this conversation.
Barnaby: As you wish. You have business with the guild, son?
Shinon: Please don't call me that, and yes, I have business here. I'm looking to gather a party to head into BBI.
Barnaby: Alynna would surely accompany you, as would I, but my injury, you know.
Shinon: Um, no. I get killed on a daily basis. What injury could possibly prevent you from fighting?
Barnaby: My arisen constructed me using various defective parts. They've since been discontinued, so nobody will end up with a crippled pawn like me.
Shinon: Crippled. Really. Remember, I had a front row seat for Greatwall Shenanigans because I was a guardian back then and Master forgot to fix my inclinations. "Crippled" isn't gonna fly here.
Barnaby: 'Tis true. I cannot even lift a sword. Your master was gracious enough to supply me with conquerer's periapts to restore my strength. Unfortunately, it was only temporary.
Shinon: Not "temporary" enough. I was hoping for a cockatrice to fly by and blind me.
Barnaby: Apologies. Oh, that reminds me, I believe I owe you three bottles of liquid vim. I borrowed some from your storage yesterday. Alynna said you wouldn't mind.
Shinon: ...
The riftstone by the rear wall shimmers, and Alynna materializes beside it.Alynna: Well, if it isn't my two favorite boys in the whole wide world!...And a bunch of strangers with a camera and sound equipment? S'going on?

Shinon: We're doing a report on BBI, Master! You know, educate the masses, send them on a journey without them having to leave the comfort of their own home.
Alynna: Oh, how admirable! And adorable! *pinches Shinon's cheek affectionately*
Shinon: *bats away her hand*...
otnay onay ameracay!Alynna: Oh, I'm sorry, honey, but you are adorable. Go on, report away.
Shinon: I came by here to gather a few people to head into BBI. How about you? Or do you have something
else to attend that I'm not invited to?
Alynna: Ugh, that costume party was terrible. So much for being the "guest of honor", I had to babysit Symone all night because her dumb walrus of a father wanted her to "learn" from me.
Shinon: Learn what?
Alynna: I don't know. How to live without a heart, maybe? He was too busy hitting on someone dressed as a succubus to explain. I think it was Aldous, although I doubt he knew that.
Shinon: Isn't Aldous that rather distinguished older man that -
Alynna: That apparently likes dressing up as naked birdwomen. Yes.
Barnaby: Unless that party was a public affair, and you're certain it was Aldous, it may be prudent to edit that last part out. I would... hate? Is that right? Yes, I'd hate to see either of you be accused of slander.
Alynna: But calling Fournival a "dumb walrus" is okay?
Barnaby: With the amount of money we keep giving him for periapts and Maker's fingers, I doubt he would take offense to anything you say.
Shinon: Maker's fingers.
Maker's Fingers. You
blasphemers.
Alynna: He's fine with it. Maybe edit this out too, just in case. I wouldn't want Gransys to think I'm some sort of deviant.
Shinon: You're seeing a pawn. You're a deviant.
Alynna: No red-blooded woman can resist that voice, I'm sorry.
Barnaby: 'Tis why voice 10 was discontinued. Too many arisens fell prey to its apparent charms and abandoned their quests to slay the dragon. they died in knowledge chairs, unable to stop conversing with their pawns.
Alynna:...say "everfall."
Barnaby: Everfall.
Alynna: There, Shinon. That word right there? The first time I heard him say it I had to go to Johnathan at the Encampment to get myself some new ears, as my old ones had melted off my face.
Shinon: Well this conversation has been incredibly insightful. I really should be gathering people together, so I'll leave you two to -
Alynna: do you have the cash to make it to BBI? You should ask the Duke, maybe he can fund your little expedition. It could bring tourists to Gran Soren and Cassardis, and everyone likes money.
Shinon: I'm not allowed in to see him, remember?
Alynna: Just hide your pawnprint in a glove and get some plastic surgery to make you look hideous like everyone else. Nobody will know the difference. I'll scrounge up what money I can, but a lot of it did go to Fournival.
Shinon: You'll come with me, right? Just in case I get caught?
Alynna: Of course, sweetheart. Mommy wouldn't let them lock you away.
Shinon:...........thank you. Right now, though, I'm just gonna see if I can find some more pawns hanging around here.... oh, hey, here's someone!

Briana: Good day, Shinon. Here, I have a gift for you.
Shinon: Wh...what is it? It looks like a pile of garbage.
Briana: I heard you were going to BBI. This is one of the countless treasures you can find there. Olra should be able to make it into some nice bracers for you, unless she's in a pissy mood and gives you a damn cloak instead.
Shinon: Wow, thanks! So you've been there, huh?
Briana: Yep. Seen it all. While I could tell you its every secret, I see the hunger in your eyes, the hunger to discover things on your own. I was like you once, I know how it is.
Shinon: You're welcome to come along when we go, it'd be nice to have a guide or two.
Briana: Oh, I have another gift!
Shinon: This... this looks like a giant diaper.
Briana: It's a set of yellow gaiters, only I enchanted these with holy light! They will illuminate your way through BBI. Oh, but you have to wear them outside your armor, of course. Otherwise they wouldn't be much use.
Shinon: ...nope, these are just normal yellow gaiters. But why would you enchant them anyway? why not something like a sword or a staff? Something you can hold like a torch?
Briana: Are you saying I'm crazy? Because I'm not. You're crazy, for not seeing the potential of these enchanted -
Shinon: - NOT enchanted -
Briana: ...yellow gaiters.
Shinon: Just so I'm clear on this. You want me to go into BBI, where there are monsters that can chew me up as soon as look at me, and you want me to wear a diaper that supposedly glows.
Briana: ...Oh gosh, what time is it? I think I forgot to take my meds. *pats pockets* Shoot, I don't have them with me. You...you wouldn't happen to have any Nostalgia Dust on you, would you?
Shinon: ...no?
Briana: How 'bout a placative brew? I'll give you the money, I swear I'm good for it.
Shinon: Are you okay? You look a bit... unhinged.
Briana: I just need a curative, these voices in my head can get quite loud at times. So do you have some, or not?
Shinon: No, sorry. I think we might need to get you to a healer.
Briana: ...what a large tree. *walks to the notice board*
Shinon: No, Briana, that's not a tree, I really think -
Briana: I'll scale it and strike from above! *tries to climb onto the notice board*
Shinon: Uh... I don't suppose anyone here has anything to cure possession, huh?
Barnaby: All I have on me at the moment is a bottle of Steel Nut Salve.
Shinon: Of course. Of
course that's all you have.
Of freaking course.Barnaby: Do not worry, I have seen worse. We have had brawls started by your friend here. It took hours to clean the mess they left. If she just wants to climb the notice board, let her. Her head will clear momentarily.
Briana: *rips a notice off the board* The bark, it tears off just like paper...
Shinon: Okay... Briana's a maybe, then. Let's see if we can find someone else. Wait a minute... is that...

Shinon: Gabs?
Gabs: Shinon, hi! Gosh, it's been weeks! You look good! Well, aside from that nasty scar on your face. That's new.
Shinon: Yeah, a succubus clawed at my face. Wow, I hope it was a succubus, anyway. Where've you been?
Gabs: I just got back from a trip to the Bluemoon Tower with Chase.
Shinon: Oh. ...How's he doing? Is he here?
Gabs: Ulee needed something fixed at her house, I think she said something about having her chimney cleaned. Wouldn't want to start a fire.
Shinon: I dunno, some fires are fun to start. *winks*
Gabs: You're a pig, you know that?
Shinon: I do tend to roll around in mud a lot. So, are you and Chase...
Gabs: He's a nice guy, Shinon. You could learn a thing or two from him.
Shinon: Everything he knows, he learned from me, sister.
Gabs: Perhaps in combat. Outside of combat? No, no, no. He's not Mini-Shinon. He's Chase Hunt, romantic, adventurous, dashing.
Shinon: I can be two of those things. All three if I'm drunk.
Gabs: ...And for some reason, he always talks about you. "Did you see how Shinon brought down that cyclops?" "Look at these microphones Shinon gave me! Aren't they the coolest?" "I'm gonna be a news reporter just like Shinon!"
Shinon: I'm pretty awesome.
Gabs: Just try to be less of a pig, will you? It's only a matter of time before Chase starts adopting some of your more... abrasive traits.
Shinon: I'm not abrasive at all. I'm smoooooooth.
Gabs: Oh, that's lovely. I think your master should sit you down in a knowledge chair before this gets out of hand. Speaking of hands... what is that you're holding?
Shinon: A diaper. *nods toward Briana, who is now furiously stabbing the notice board* She gave it to me.
Gabs: Oh, I understand. And this camera crew? Doing another one of your little on-site reports?
Shinon: We're going to BBI, we're going to uncover all its secrets! Wanna come? Sure you do.
Gabs: I've been doing a bit of amateur reporting myself. Chase let me practice with his microphones, then I got my own. At first I thought you two were delusional idiots trying to have conversations with goblins, but when you actually get to talk to one? It's almost surreal. These things we've been killing by the cartload, they have lives of their own, they struggle just like we do. It really makes you think.
Shinon: I just like the camera.
Gabs: You have a chance here to really make a difference, though. We could bridge the gap between man and monster. We don't have to keep killing each other. We can coexist peacefully.
Shinon: Yeah, whatever, but there's
cursed treasure on BBI. TREASURE. That peaceful coexistence stuff sounds good too, you could work that angle when we get there, and I'll go in and rob everyone blind.
Gabs: Please. Ask Alynna for a knowledge chair session. I'm your friend and I want to help you.
Shinon: Yeah, later. So I've got you and maybe Briana, Master, and Quintin said he had a bunch of buddies that would help... you think Chase would come along?
Gabs: This is right up his alley, yeah. Maybe Seel and Arya too. You never see those two together.
Shinon: And Iorveth! Where's he at?
Gabs: I don't believe I've met him.
Shinon: Well, I still have to get some funds, and some supplies. maybe you could work on getting the others together?
Gabs: I shall do my best. Meet back here... tomorrow night?
Shinon: Sounds good. If I'm not here tomorrow, I got arrested.
Gabs: That's a given.

Shinon: Well folks, that's all for tonight. I'm just gonna flash these puppies at these two apothecary ladies to see if I can get a discount for being all that and a bag of mithridate. Until next time, this pawn is ever concerned for your future, Gransys.