Again, very little of this is relevant to Bitterblack Isle, I honestly don't know how Shinon keeps his job. (And try to ignore the drastic wardrobe changes throughout, these pics are from many different gaming sessions)
Shinon's Special Report: Part 6Shinon: Good evening, Gransys! Look where we are!
Shinon: I'm just waiting for the crew to lug all the gear off the boats. I can't help them because I don't
do manual labor. We get Capcom pawns to do all the heavy lifting. We also don't pay them because Master said they already got enough of her money. Would you care to meet some of our news team before we head in? Of course you would.
Shinon: This here's Chase, junior field reporter and fellow ab enthusiast.
Chase: Hello Gransys! Look, master! I'm on REAL TV! Well, once this is aired, anyway. Are we live? I'm still confused about that.
Shinon: We're not live. Are we live? Master's shaking her head no, I think that's her answer and not just an expression of embarrassment.
Chase: My master wanted to come along too, but she's laid up in Cassardis with a cold.
Shinon: Chase's master Ulee is an active figure in the campaign to save the saurians.
Chase: Did you know that thousands of saurians die EVERY DAY? People hunt them mercilessly for their hides, their tails... it's terrible. Just terrible.
Shinon: Why did she choose saurians? Just about every creature in Gransys is hunted for their various bits. I mean, just the other day, Master killed about seventy snow harpies just to get a certain feather. Isn't that a bit excessive?
Alynna: You shush. My petticoat needed mending. You'd do the same for your precious bandages.
Chase: Anyway, harpies aren't endangered. Saurians have to deal with hunters, fools looking for snakeskin purses, and on top of all that, a lot of them are afflicted with a disease that causes their tails to fall off.
Shinon: I thought that was a defense mechanism. Predators bite their tails, tails fall off, lizards skitter away.
Chase: It isn't. Most die from blood loss when they lose their tails. I'm hoping to find some saurians here that aren't affected by this disease so there's some hope for the species as a whole. Folks at home can contact Ulee in Cassardis if they want to learn more or donate some gold.
Shinon: I've heard there are saurians here, but they're being hunted to extinction.
Chase: Argh, see? People just
don't care! As long as they get their materials, screw the rest of the world!
Shinon: We're actually trying to get in contact with Ulee right now.. let's see if she can hear us. Ulee? You there?
Ulee: Wh-what the hell's goin' on? Do you have any idea what time it is?
Shinon: I don't know... I'd guess maybe early evening?
Ulee: IT'S 3:00 AM! I WAS ASLEEP! Did Chase put you up to this? Where is that boy?
Shinon: 3:00 AM? No way. We're sorry, we lost track of time I guess.
Chase: Yeah, sorry, Master. How are you feeling?
Ulee: Tired. Sick. Cold. Sore. Tired.
Shinon: So now wouldn't be a good time to ask you about your saurian campaign?
Ulee: What? Chase can tell you all about that. Oh, by the way, Chase, what did you do with Todd? My ears are freezing, I need him.
Chase: I think I hung him up by the window. I had to wash him, he was full of blood from our trip to the everfall.
Shinon: ...folks at home, I'm just as clueless as you right now.
Ulee: Nope, that's Timmy. I want Todd. You know, kinda greenish with those long bits that -
Chase: Oh.
Todd. I don't know, you never let me have him. You probably put him down somewhere and forgot.
Ulee: You took him, didn't you? You took him while I was sleeping.
Chase: I did not! And it's not like you don't have any other hats to keep your ears warm. Give Timmy a chance!
Shinon: Is this what you're looking for, Ulee? It was on top of one of Chase's packs back here.
Chase: What? How did
that get there?
Ulee: I think little pawn hands put it there.
Chase: Okay, fine, I took Todd. But you're always wearing him! I never get the chance to!
Ulee: You'd better take care of him, then. Look, can I go now? My head feels like it's full of gunk and I need to get some rest.
Chase: Sorry again, Master. I'll be good. Feel better!
Ulee: Yeah, whatev*click*
Shinon: Again, that was Ulee, Chase's master and the driving force behind Save The Saurians. Evidently she names her hats, which is such a great idea, I can't believe I don't already do it.
Chase: It leads to rather embarrassing arguments in the Gran Soren Inn when we're trying to decide what to wear. We get lots of stares.
Shinon: I suppose we should get back to the situation at hand, huh? This is your first big assignment, isn't it? Excited to get started?
Chase: Absolutely! Aren't
you? We're about to venture inside a haunted castle...or whatever that is! Treasure! Danger! FAME! We'll be stars, Shinon! Everyone will be lining up to get our autographs and have pictures taken with us!
Shinon: That's a typical day in the life of Shinon, my friend. Even before I became famous.
Alynna: Perhaps if you didn't walk around half-naked all the time, people would have left you alone.
Shinon: Who picked out my clothes every morning?
Chase: What? Alynna dresses you? You're
how old?
Alynna: I don't dress him. I just leave him a clean pair of fine Cassardi hosen every morning, because he never does laundry. It's not my problem if he struts around town in his underthings. Yes, Shinon, they're underwear, not... overwear.
Shinon: But if I put something on over them, I rob Gransys of the majestic sight that is my perfectly toned thighs.
Gabs: Somehow I think Gransys will recover. Somehow.
Shinon: ANYWAY. Tell us, Chase. What got you into reporting?
Chase: Well, I used to go door to door offering to fix people's pipes with my special tool. You'd be surprised at how many people took offense to this. I don't quite understand why. I mean, you don't want busted plumbing, right?
Shinon: I don't understand people. I think that's why I wanted to become a reporter. To understand people. Well, that and to be in front of a camera.
Chase: I became a reporter because of you, actually. You're kinda my idol. I saw that report you did on the obesity epidemic - very informative. I said to myself, I said, Chase, there's no future in being yelled at on people's doorsteps, you've gotta get out there and make a difference!
Shinon: I understand you got Gabs into reporting too.
Chase: Yep. Gabs and I work as a team, I hope that won't be an issue.
Shinon: We're all a team, Chase. All of us.
Chase: No, I mean we do interviews together. She asks all the hard-hitting questions I usually forget to, my attention span is frightfully small.
Gabs: I'm also there to draw in the 18-49 male demographic.
Shinon: Are you saying men ages 18-49 don't want to see shirtless men deliver the news?
Gabs: That's partially what I'm saying, yes. You make some men uncomfortable.
Shinon: Well
this is news to
me.
Seel: She said
some men.
Shinon: Oh hey, Seel. I didn't see you there.
Seel: Oh, I'm always around. Watching you. Watching
over you. Yeah, the less creepy one.
Shinon: And we appreciate it. You ready for your first assignment?
Seel: Hell yes! I got my microphones and everything!
Shinon: Well, those are an old model, but they should still work. You might need to get a little closer to your interviewees so they can pick up the sound.
Seel: Oh, maybe you and I could practice so I can get a good idea for the distance?
Shinon: Just hold the microphone closer. You don't have to -
Seel: Maybe like this?
Shinon: We typically don't climb on people, no. You can get off me any time.
Seel: Oh, you have those high-tech Framae microphones. Let me get a gander at those.
Shinon: Here, you can hold one--
Seel: Oh, no, that's not necessary. They can stay where they are. I'll just get down there...
Seel: Wow! They're fancy! Ooh, and so are these!
Shinon: ...you've never heard of "personal space", have you?
Seel: I think I've heard of it. That's one of Aelinore's screenplays, isn't it?
Shinon: Would you kindly-
Alynna: Yes.
Shinon: ...ugh. *to Seel* would you kindly
not fondle my abs, if it's no trouble?
Seel: Oh, does it bother you? It's just... they were
there, calling me, like six glorious angels beckoning me to some heavenly -
Shinon: Master might be onto something about covering up.
Seel: Oh, no, don't do that. I'll... I'll keep my hands to myself. For a while.
Shinon: Look at Thomas over there. He never wears stuff like this.
Shinon: Hey, Thomas! Stop hidin' your face! You can't be on TV if you hide your face!
Thomas:....
Shinon: What was that? You've gotta speak up.
Thomas:... I th-th-thought this was a radio show. *slinks behind a stone pillar, continues to peer at camera suspiciously*
Shinon: Radio? You think I'd waste a face like this on radio?
Thomas: ....I'm just... I'm not... I don't like cameras.
Shinon: Why not? They're
super awesome. Come on, come out of there.
Thomas: Some of us just aren't comfortable in front of cameras.
Shinon: I'm learning all kinds of things on this trip already. Please explain this bizarre phobia to me.
Thomas: It's not bizarre. A lot of people are camera shy. We hate the idea of all those people watching us. I get nervous.
Shinon: ....you
hate... people watching you?
Thomas: Yes! I... I want to deliver the news, just like you do, but I prefer sitting in a booth with a microphone and not having people everywhere gawking at me. What if I make a mistake? What if I have a... wardrobe malfunction?
Shinon: Wardrobe
is a malfunction if you ask me.
Thomas: Oh, you disgusting exhibitionist! You're a joke, you know that?
Shinon: Whoa. Um. Whoa?
Thomas: Just because your Arisen gave you washboard abs and a pretty face, you think you're **** of the walk. You're not! And what does it say about Alynna, huh? Did she just want some scantily-clad manservant she could order around? Sick, I tell you.
Shinon: Hey, hey! Thomas! Tommy! T-Bone! What's gotten into you?
Seel: *whispers* He said
****. You can't say that on GNN. It's BS, though. I mean... "cockatrice" is acceptable, right?
Alynna: *leans into frame*...and for the record, Shinon's not my manservant. He never does what I ask him to. If I
asked him to strut around naked, he'd put on several surcoats, eight pairs of pants and like three helmets.
Thomas: *rubs forehead* Oh my, what just happened? I feel a little light-headed.
Shinon: You kinda snapped. You okay? You wanna sit down?
Thomas: I... what the hell was in that drink Briana gave me? She said it would calm my nerves!
Shinon: ...and mystery solved.
Thomas: Wh-what did I say? Was that camera recording?
Shinon: In the future, don't ever accept any herbs, powders, drinks... any curative she offers. She means well, but those meds are tailored to her needs, not the needs of the average joe. She forgets that not everyone has built up such a high level of tolerance to drugs as she has.
Briana: My doctor says I'm improving. See? One whole sentence without giant glowing bubble goblins.
Shinon: After BBI, we should look into the dangers of mushroom dependency.
Briana: Just the dangers? What about the amazing ways it enhances
everything ever?
Shinon: Please put some clothes on. You're going to be so embarrassed when you finally come down.
Briana: Why don't
you put some clothes on?
Shinon: ...it hurts to see you like this. You were like my mentor growing up. LOOK WHAT THE MUSHROOMS HAVE DONE TO YOU! And you're our
guide! We're all gonna die.
Briana: Psh, I'm fine. You'll be fine. You just worry about Mood Swing Morris over there. If he goes off like that during an interview -
Thomas: I won't! ...I wasn't even supposed to be here! I thought this was an on-location radio segment! ...Did I make a gigantic fool of myself? Look, whatever I said, it wasn't me talking.
Shinon: We can edit it out. That's the magic of TV. You can screw up and nobody will ever see it.
Thomas:...really?
Shinon: Yep. If you're still really nervous, though, we can use *technology* to hide your face. We can replace it with... I dunno, we'll find something. That way, people wouldn't see your face, and you could still be on TV.
Thomas: ...maybe.
Shinon: Would you feel more secure with a teammate? Where is Arya? She could teach you the ropes.
Thomas: *thinks a moment* Oh, I dunno, I don't wanna be a bother...
Shinon: Nonsense. Arya? Where are you? I need ya!
Arya: Really? Oh, I mean, I'm over here, just suiting up for the journey. Can never be too careful, huh?
Shinon: Good idea. What's all that stuff you got there?
Arya: The essentials, mostly. Mithridate to counteract poison, eyedrops for blindness, holy water for curses, nostalgia dust for Briana, oil for your... lantern...
Shinon: That's an interesting bottle. What does it say on it? "Marvelous Mus-"
Arya: It's the brand name. It's just regular lantern oil. For lanterns.
Shinon: And the picture of the man flexing? Why is it not a lantern...flexing?
Arya: Oh, I don't know... I don't notice stuff like that... I just saw the flasks of oil and thought, well, we're gonna need those in BBI so I bought a bunch for you.
Everyone.
Shinon: You're always thinking of others, aren't you?
Arya:...yes. Yes I am.
Shinon: How would you like a news buddy? Someone to work side by side with?
Arya: Oh, that'd be great! I've actually been thinking -
Shinon: It'll be a bit of a job-shadow at first, Thomas is just starting out. But I'm sure you'll be able to mold him into a fantastic reporter.
Arya: Thomas? ...Oh, oh, sure! Yeah! Thomas! Woo! I love Thomas! Great guy! Yeah! Awesome!....Awesome.
Shinon: See, that's the kind of enthusiasm we need here! You'll be a great mentor for him!
Arya: Wouldn't you be better?
Shinon: I don't think our styles would gel well. I'm more in-your-face, I just grab someone and shake the stories out of them. I don't even care if they're true. You... you do. You have integrity. You'd be a much better teacher than me.
Arya: Wow, that's very kind of you to say. Maybe... maybe someday I could teach
you too, huh?
Shinon: *leans in* I know one thing you could teach me.
Arya: *raises an eyebrow* And what is that?
Shinon: How you get your hair in those neat... clumpy things.
Arya: *eyebrow lowers* Seriously?
Shinon: What? They're neat and clumpy. Can... can I touch one?
Arya:
Seriously?Shinon: You sound offended.
Arya: Do I? Do I really?
Shinon: I have no idea what just happened here.
Arya: Of course you don't, I don't know why I bother. Just go. Tell Thomas I'd love to help him, by the way.
Shinon: So when Quintin shows up, I shouldn't ask to touch his hair either?
Arya: Urgh, fine. Touch my hair.
Shinon: Really?
Shinon: Oh my seneschal, this is
awesome. I bet they don't fly in your eyes when you're in battle like my hair does sometimes.
Arya: Nope, they just sit there.
Shinon: Would you mind fixing my hair like this? It seems so... practical.
Arya: If you want practical, shouldn't you just chop off all your hair? That way it won't fly in your eyes or get caught on anything.
Shinon: Oh no, the hair doesn't come off. That's my one rule.
Arya: It'll take a while. You might as well stop filming until I'm done.
***some time later***
Shinon: Look at
this, guys. Isn't this just the best thing you've ever seen?
Alynna: You look like mini-Quintin wearing half a shirt. And I really don't understand that monocle.
Shinon: That's my master, tearing down
everything I love. Well, the "low battery" light on the camera is flashing, so I guess it's time to say goodnight.
Alynna: And we're still not in BBI because
you had to have your hair done. What'll it be next time? You can't find your boots? A seagull took your longbow?
Shinon: A few of our team still aren't here.
Alynna:...and there it is.
Shinon: Until next time, my incredibly optimistic master and I wish you good night, Gransys.
Modifié par Shepenwepet, 13 décembre 2013 - 04:13 .
Nice one, Ulee and Chase. Dai and Arya need to start naming their apparel. Actually, that's more of a Seel and Rohan thing. Dai and Arya are too damn serious for their own good. Yes, I can see Seel calling his carmine breeches his gigolo pants. "Yeah, you would call them that, wouldn't you," says Rohan.
Retour en haut
?! I felt a sense of achievement defeating those wyverns in the Sparyard of Scant Mercy, only to encounter more. I decided to go back to Olra and Barroch and stock up, so I can have a go tonight. I think I may be some time (or just die)!
.
*wibble* So shy! Yes last night I squeed aloud at him hiding behind the pillar. Gahh he's just so precious. Poor Arya doesn't appreciate being paired with his adorable manly shyness. Then again I suppose Thomas is lucky he didn't get Seel for a partner, haha.
