Shinon: Hello again, everyone.
Yes, we're still outside. We've been waiting here for about... *looks up at the sky* zero hours for the rest of our team. Remember Quintin? Half naked guy with blond hair-clumpy-things? Promised to bring a bunch of his buddies to help us? Yeah, they're not here. If they don't show up soon, one of our reporters is going to have to swap his or her mic for magic. Briana said there are wraiths in there. If a bunch of those show up, we're screwed.
Alynna: Hey, Magick Archer right here. I think I saw Seel change vocations, and Chase has his magical crotch laser.
Chase: I'm telling you, that was a trick of the light.
Alynna: It blasted that skeleton to pieces. Trick of the light my ass.
Chase: Shinon'd kill me. Oh, I mean... really, it was!
Shinon: It's been like three seconds and already we're going to have to edit that out.
Children will be watching this.Seel: Yeah, children
love documentaries. I give them a minute before they switch the channel to Grigori the Big Red Dragon.
Shinon: That's not the point. We're supposed to be family-friendly here.
Arya: Guys, he's right. Let's try to be a bit more serious. Less talk of crotch lasers and more talk of where we are, huh? We're gonna waste all of our film before we even get inside.
Gabs: I'm actually starting to worry about Quintin and the others. It's not like them to be late.
Thomas: You think maybe they went on ahead?
Shinon: Without us? Naw. Maybe?
Seel: Maybe you should go ask that sad-looking lady over there by the notice board.
Shinon: Wow, I didn't even notice her. That must be Olra. Madeleine told me about her.
Shinon: Excuse me, ma'am, has anyone passed through here recently?
Olra: Why yes. Countless Arisen. Countless pawns. Few return.
Shinon: Have you seen a guy, taller than me, blond hair, so muscular that you assume he's on steroids and you're not jealous at all because it's unnatural?
Olra: Yes. I see him often.
He's quite rude.Shinon: You've seen him recently?
Olra: I... I do not know. Time is difficult to measure here. It could have been three minutes ago, three months ago, three years ago...
Shinon: Oh. Well, that doesn't really help.
Olra: What brings you here to Bitterblack Isle? You are a pawn, yes? Was your Arisen called here?
Shinon: No, she's just here to keep me out of trouble. We're here to do a documentary. Is there anything you can tell us about this place?
Olra: Not much, I am afraid. I do feel a strange connection to this place, something is keeping me here, yet I know not what.
Shinon: Have you ever been inside?
Olra: I haven't mustered up the courage. So many lives are lost within. I hear their screams. And the bells. Always the bells.
Shinon: Bells? What do they signify?
Olra: I'd rather not know.
Shinon: So...what exactly do you do here? Just...stand around? I was told you sell lingerie.
Olra: ? Lingerie? I... no, I
do have a clothing line, however. DeLuxe Clothing. It's more for the Arisen and pawn with more money than sense, though. Actually... I see you're wearing one of my pieces, the Ruminator's Monocle. Forget what I just said. DeLuxe Clothing is for the Arisen and pawn with
taste.
Shinon: Oh, I got this from a thrift store. Same with my microphones and this belt with the smooshed cat-man face on it. The monocle makes me feel more intelligent. I like that.
Olra: It...it doesn't really -
Shinon: IT MAKES ME FEEL MORE INTELLIGENT.
Olra: I see. That's... good, I guess.
Shinon: Well, it was nice meeting you, but -
Olra: Wait...I sense a curse about you. Are you in possession of a cursed item?
Shinon: Oh! Right! Briana gave me this! *hands Olra the pile of melty garbage he somehow stored in his non-existent pocket* She said it was a pair of gauntlets, but I really don't see it.
Olra: Let me see... *runs her hands over the item* Well, I suppose you could cut it up and wrap it around your arms...here we are...
Olra: This is known around here as a Blasphemer's Cloak. Those who try to defy the island are known to accumulate these.
Shinon: I'm not sure I understand.
Olra: The Isle knows you. It has plans for you. If you try to disrupt those plans, you are punished.
Shinon: With a cloak?
Olra: I have seen Arisen go mad at the sight of them. Their eyes...such fury... they shout and curse the Isle's name, they leap off the pier into the waiting arms of the Brine.
Shinon: But... it's just a cloak.
Olra: "Just a cloak" becomes "just a few cloaks" and then "I can't breathe under all these damn cloaks." I suggest you do not fight the Isle's wishes.
Shinon: Duly noted. Don't argue with an island. So... the island already sees me as a blasphemer? I mean, I got a cloak and all...
Olra: The daggers sheathed at your side, they are a rare treasure from within. The Isle knows you didn't earn them.
Shinon: There was a whole bin of them at the store. Just about everyone here bought some. They can't be that rare.
Olra: *Inspects Shinon's Framae Blades closely* Ah, see this right here on the blade? These are fake. Real ones generally don't have "Mountebank's Mock-Ups" inscribed on them.
Shinon: Oh, well, I don't use them in combat anyway. I actually didn't even realize they were daggers until someone pointed it out to me.
Olra: If you wish to return to the Isle's good graces, there are quests you can undertake. *Indicates the notice board behind her*
Shinon: Lemme see here... "Slay 5 Garms", I don't believe I've ever seen one... "Obtain three Bloodred Crystals"... nope.. "Slay Death"? Huh? Slay
Death? What does that even mean?
Olra: All I can say is to go inside and find out for yourselves. As you can see, the notice board is full. Nobody ever fulfills these requests.
Shinon: Yeah, I think we're going to head in. I don't want to wait anymore. Well, thanks for the cloak and wish us luck.
Olra: I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "thanks for the cloak."
---
Shinon: Okay, folks, it looks like we're gonna head inside.
Chase: Alriiiiight!
Seel: What about Quintin and the others?
Shinon: It's possible they're already in there. Just in case they're not, we'll leave them a note. Not with that lady, though, she seems like the type to forget things.
Seel: I'll carve something into that big rock over there...*heads over to the rocks beside the riftstone*
Shinon: Good idea. Make it big enough for them to see it when they step off the dock.
Gabs: So, does anyone have a map, or are we just going to wing it?
Briana: I have a map! It's in my coat, wherever that is. Just the first floor, though. My master drew up the rest because... well, I'm not exactly concerned with being accurate.
Thomas: I think I saw your coat hanging from a pillar. *looks up* Ah, there it is. *leaps up, manages to snag her coat on the end of his bow*
Shinon: How did it get up there?
Briana: ...How did I get down here?
*they spread the map on a crate and examine it*
Arya: Oh. Okay.
Gabs: Chase and I will head left, towards... "bigass lion?" Oh, you mean a chimera? I wonder if we could talk to one of those. The goat head seems to be somewhat intelligent.
Briana: I... I don't really remember. BBI does funny things to your mind when you're inside there too long. S'why I made a map.
Arya: I guess Thomas and I will head into "I don't remember, I think there were spiders, maybe."
Thomas: Is... is that wise? What if they're huge, maneating spiders?
Briana: I know all the paths meet up in that big room there, so we'll all end up together again anyway.
Gabs: Why did you write "STAY AWAKE" in that room?
Briana: Oh, yeah. Death. Tries to use magic to put you to sleep, then he kills you.
Arya: Hence "sleepytime" and "riftytime"?
Briana: Yeah. Break out the Restless Earrings, guys. If you don't have any, stay out of the blue light. I actually had a Restless Earring made special for me - a piece of it fits inside your ear and it constantly plays
Into Free by B'z. I haven't slept in months.
Shinon: That could drive a person insane. It... it
did, didn't it...?
Briana: Oh, no. I was insane long before that earring, because I had that earring
made.
Shinon: There's a quest to kill Death on the notice board. I was wondering what that meant.
Briana: Yeah. It's a floaty skeleton in a robe. Actually, I don't know if there's anything under that robe.
Seel: *shouts from afar* Challenge accepted!
Arya: *whispers* Ugh. He's gross. I'm
not working with him. Ever.
Shinon: Seel? He's harmless. Sure, he's a little...
Arya: Within three minutes of meeting him, he asked to see my Mighty Bend. I told him that was inappropriate. So he showed me his.
Shinon: I showed mine to a nun. I think she left the church after that.
Arya:... Why would you-
Briana: Okay, are we set to go? I can feel my sanity slipping again. We can choose our paths once we get inside.
Shinon: Seel, are you done with that message yet?
Seel: Yep! Juuuust finished!
Shinon: Ah. Good. Yeah, you forgot a comma, but I think he'll know what you mean.
Seel: Feh, punctuation. You can fuss over sentences, I'm gonna go get some reporting done.
---
Shinon: Okay, folks, we're heading in. It appears to be a very old structure, yet there is evidence of activity - candles still burn on the stairs next to creepy remains, the braziers are lit, there are big sad men vomiting waterfalls.
And then there's this thing.
Shinon: It seems to be quite well-kept... let's see what it says. Hmm... *runs fingers over the inscription* "It doesn't look like you can read this section now"? Huh?
Chase: That hurts my brain. What does it mean?
Briana: Ahahahaha... oh, you kids.
Arya: What, can you read it?
Briana: Yes. I won't spoil it for you, but it tells the tale of Arthacos, a man that came to BBI long ago. Also, there's some crap about some woman named Grette. I sorta glanced at it. Too sappy for me.
Shinon: But... we're here to uncover BBI's secrets! If you can read this, you should let us know what it says! It could be important!
Briana: Oh, it is. But you can either have all the secrets revealed to you in about three seconds, or we can go inside and make this the best damn documentary this land has ever seen.
Gabs: Technically there isn't much for competition, but I agree with Briana. We should go inside. People expected a trip inside BBI, not Storytime With Briana.
Briana: Especially now that Storytime With Briana got cancelled. So I was high that one time. Big deal. So I read excerpts from one of Aelinore's movie scripts to children. So what. I replaced all the naughty words with "fudge" and "cookie" and whatnot. It still sounded like an erotic cookbook, though.
Everyone:...
Briana: Moving on...
---
Shinon: Is everyone ready? Be on your guard, we don't know what's behind these doors.
Briana: My map says there's a giant pile of puppies behind this door.
Arya: I
love puppies! But I assume by "puppies" you mean "giant mutant dogs." Not so good with them.
*The door is opened, they slowly walk in*
Gabs: It's all lit up! Someone's definitely still living in here.
Thomas *covers his nose and mouth with a sleeve* Ugh, it stinks, though. You guys smell that?
Arya: Oh dear maker.
Chase: I suddenly feel like changing vocations. Yeah, Shinon? I think I'm gonna nip back out and grab my Sanguine Stalk.
Seel:...nope, I'm going to be a
good boy for this family friendly documentary that no children should be watching anyway. *grumbles*
We're two feet inside the building and already there's a bloody corpse.Shinon: Chase? I don't think that changing vocations would make a difference, dude.
Chase: This... this is bad.
Thomas: You know what? Maybe we should just turn back now. These... these are Arisen. Dead Arisen. I'd rather not know what killed them, or what happened to their poor pawns. Let's just all go back to the nice lady outside and ask for a boat back to the mainland.
Arya: Be strong, Thomas. You needn't worry, Briana said she's gone through the entire labyrinth. There's nothing to fear.
Briana: Oh, yes there is. Really, though, we'll be fine. We're a small army here.
Alynna: *clutches her chest* Ooh, ow. My heart-hole.
Shinon: Are you alright, Master?
Alynna: I feel strange...
Thomas: That's it, I'm done. Let me out, guys. This place is a deathtrap.
Arya: *grabs his arm* No, Thomas! I won't let you squander this opportunity! Everyone will be fine, don't worry!
*Alynna's scar begins to glow and she gasps, then a mysterious voice echoes throughout the hall*
HEED THESE WORDS, ALL WHO ENTER THIS PLACE. DO NOT THINK. JUST SET ONE FOOT IN FRONT OF THE OTHER AND BY THE MAKER'S LOVE, KEEP SWINGING.
*The glow fades, everyone looks at Alynna expectantly*
Alynna: I'm okay, guys. That was... whoa.
Gabs: You wanna sit down? There's a crate over there. Just catch your breath.
*Alynna nods, Gabrielle leads her to the crate and she sits down for a breather*
Shinon: *to camera* We're now inside the main building on the island, my master has just had an odd encounter with a spirit, it would seem. It offered rather terrible advice, if you ask me.
Alynna: Oh, you guys heard it too? I thought it was just in my head.
Thomas: D'you guys think it was... *looks down at corpses* one of them?
Briana: I didn't hear anything. Which is new.
Shinon: "Do not think. Just set one foot in front of the other and by the maker's love, keep swinging." Is this spirit honestly telling us to just charge ahead recklessly?
Seel: Either that or it's telling us to dance next to a brothel in the Venery.
Shinon: ...
Seel: What, nobody? You all suck.
Gabs: I vote we ignore the creepy disembodied voice. It might be the Isle itself, luring us to our deaths.
Thomas: My radio booth is so cozy, you know. Nice cushiony chair, I can lean back, put my feet up... there's no dead people...
Chase:*examining the ranger's corpse* This guy's got bite marks on his legs and arms. Looks like a big dog or something. Maybe a wolf. Probably more than one. They hunt in packs. Or giant piles, I suppose.
Gabs: But he's still mostly intact. Wouldn't a pack of wolves tear him apart?
Shinon: It's the same with the mage. Wounds that look like teeth marks. That's odd, isn't it? Maybe the dogs or whatever don't like the taste of human flesh.
Thomas: Hopefully they don't like pawn flesh either.
Arya: I'm going to scout ahead a bit. If I see anything, I'll give a shout.
Shinon: No, nobody goes anywhere alone. Tom's your Bitterblack Buddy. Take him with you.
Thomas: I'd... I'd really rather stay here and make sure Alynna's okay.
Shinon: That's my job. Look, Thomas, you're an accomplished strider. You may have forgotten that after all this time sitting in that cushiony chair. You don't have to be afraid here. Look at that bow strapped to your back. How many griffins have you shot down with that?
Thomas: That was a long time ago. I'm not the same pawn I was back then. Now I'd prefer to watch the griffin from afar than to shoot it out of the sky.
Briana: You know what you need? A Dose of Courage. *holds out a bottle to Thomas, Shinon swipes it from her*
Shinon: Give me that, you pusher. *Inspects the bottle* Well... this actually appears to be a
genuine Dose of Courage. Imagine that. Here y'go, Tom, have at it. *tosses bottle to Thomas*
Thomas: So I'm not gonna black out or think I'm a cow or -
Briana: You might, but not as a result of that.
Alynna: I'm okay, guys. We can keep going.
Seel: Hey, where's Arya?
---
Arya: This place is incredible! I wonder who built it, and how long ago it was. Look ahead, guys. There're big trees all lit up by the moonlight streaming through the holes in the ceiling. It lends the place an otherworldly feel. Sure, it reeks of death and animal feces, but those trees are pretty.
Arya: Oh gosh! You poor creature, forced to scavenge food from corpses instead of having someone take care of you. Come here, cutie.
Arya: Aww... you're just a big - OW! Hey! Biting's not nice!
Chase: Arya! Get back!
Shinon: Maker, there's more coming!
Chase: To hell with this, this looks like a job for The Handyman! *tosses bow to the ground, tears off armor to reveal a hard leather plate and mercenary slogs, then pulls a giant spiked mace from nowhere* I'll save you, Arya!
Seel: Wow, look at him go.
Briana: Should we help, or...?
Thomas: He seems to be doing okay on his own.
Shinon *aiming an arrow* I'm afraid to fire, he's all over the place.
Gabs: Oh, gods. *shouts* Chase, be careful! You're not wearing enough armor!
Chase: *shouts back* I don't need
any, baby!
Gabs: No, I really think you do!
Seel: Then you're crazy, woman. Look at those
biceps. You know what? You'd look good in an outfit like his. You could be his sidekick...the.... Foxy...Fixer?
Gabs: I think that's more your thing.
Seel: Hmm.... yes. I'll think on that for a bit. *strokes his chin* Ruminate, if you will. Where's that monocle...*pats pockets*
*The Handyman expertly clears the hall of the mutant dogs, Arya slinks back to the group, head hung in shame*
Arya: I
know, I
know. I'm sorry.
Alynna: Are you okay?
Arya: Yeah, he couldn't chew through my bracer, luckily.
Chase *Now back in his old armor* What'd I miss, guys? Where'd all the dogs go?
Gabs: You actually forgot to "step out for a moment" before you stripped off your clothes.
Chase: Ah, dammit. Well, okay, it's out. I'm actually the savior of Gransys' broken bits, The Handyman. I also whack things.
Hard.
Seel: Oh my.
Shinon: So you
break things in addition to fixing them. I suppose that keeps you in business.
Alynna: Okay, let's get back to the task at hand here. Briana, where's that map? *Briana hands her the map* There's a door on the wall behind us leading to
possible spiders. Are you still interested in going that way, Arya?
Arya: Yeah, Thomas and I can check it out.
Shinon: Take Briana and Seel with you. The rest of us are going to head up this hall. We'll meet in the big room underneath here. It doesn't look far, but
be careful.
Arya pulls Shinon aside.
Arya: Really, Seel makes me
uncomfortable. Can't he go with you guys? Chase could come with us instead...
Shinon: We'll shake up the teams on the next floor. Trust me, once you get to know Seel, he's quite a hoot.
Arya: I once caught him staring at me, making kissy faces and licking his lips.
Shinon: "Once"? I can look at Seel at any given moment and see that.
*turns around* There, see?
Arya: It doesn't bother you?
Shinon: Why would it? Everyone does it.
Arya: *facepalm* Fine, fine. But if he tries anything, I'm chopping his hands off.
*The group splits, Arya, Thomas, Briana and Seel open the heavy door on the wall nearby and head inside, leaving Chase, Gabrielle, Shinon and Alynna in the hall.*
Chase: Whoa, guys, look at this!
Shinon: Wow, that's...
Gabs:... a bigass lion. And even bigger-ass people.
Shinon: Look at them. I wonder who they are. They look like sages.
Alynna: *grabs Shinon's arm to steady herself* Guys...
*Again, Alynna's scar glows and a voice echoes through the hall...*
PAY THEIR WORDS NO HEED! THEY'RE LIARS, ALL! THEIR BLACK TONGUES WILL BE YOUR DOOM!
Chase: Well
that makes things a lot clearer.
Gabs: Did it mean the last voice? The one that told us to just charge forward and bash things? Is that the liar? Or is this one the liar?
Shinon: THEY'RE LIARS, ALL!
Chase: So... we should... proceed carefully
and listen to the voices' advice?
Alynna: I think Gabs was right the first time, we should ignore them. Just give me a second to collect myself, and we can keep going.
Chase: Well, let's inspect these statues. Where's the camera? Okay.
Chase: The statues you see behind us now appear to be that of a lion - or perhaps a gravely wounded chimera - and two giant saintly figures. We don't know the significance of these statues at this point, but the lion appears to have a few urns underneath its rear end. I'd rather not know what these are for.
Shinon: Poobles. Because... because "pebbles", right... and the lion's made of stone...
Alynna: Sometimes I swear I don't know who you are.
Gabs: The two giant robed figures look like seneschals to me. But there's two? Why two? If you ask me, there should be two lions on each side, each facing the seneschal in the center.
Shinon: What I don't get is that this place is falling apart around us, there are giant holes in the ceiling, it's open to the elements, and yet... these statues are barely even scuffed. How old do you think this place is? Judging by the fact that it's overgrown with weeds and roots in some places...
Gabs: Really, it's hard to tell. Like you said, the statues look like new, and so does some of the architecture.
Alynna: I hope we find someone alive in here that we can talk to and that doesn't hijack my brain.
Shinon: I wish I could say you could head back, but you're the only arisen here. We need you in case one of us falls unconscious.
Alynna: What if I fall unconscious? What if this place drives me insane?
Shinon: Good question.
Gabs: Briana didn't lose her master to the Isle, remember.
Chase: Wait... did she? Has anyone ever seen Briana's master?
Shinon: Yeah, great beard on the guy. I traveled with them for a while. Then I blacked out and woke up in the Gran Soren inn wearing Duke Edmun's clothes.
Gabs: All very interesting, but it doesn't really help us right now. Alynna needs something to calm her, to keep her grounded. I wonder if Briana has anything.
Alynna: I'm not taking drugs from Briana. That's like mental health 101.
Chase: If you're afraid to go farther in -
Alynna: No, I'm not, I'm just... I don't like the feel of this place. It's like it's trying to tell me something but I can't speak its language.
Shinon: I understood those voices pretty clearly.
Alynna: Not the voices, BBI itself. The whole place, it's trying to reach me. I don't know what it wants.
Shinon: Seriously, do you want to turn back? We could blow the Duke's money on some new gear and then get trashed at the alehouse.
Alynna: No. This is your dream, Shinon, and I'm going to help you achieve it. I'll be okay, as long as I can have little timeouts after being possessed.
Chase: Possession resistance! Would that help? It couldn't hurt, right?
Shinon: Here, try this cloak Olra gave me. *Hands Alynna the Blasphemer's Cloak* It says on the tag that it's machine washable and 100% possession resistant.
Alynna: Thanks, Shi. *puts on the Blasphemer's Cloak* Well, it's not really my style, but it's comfortable. Hopefully it'll quiet the voices. That last one sounded like Briana, now that I think about it.
Chase: Yeah, it kinda did. Spooky.
Alynna: C'mon, let's go. We don't want to fall behind the others.
Gabs: I think that door that's blocked with crates is a dead end, if Briana's map is in any way accurate. Let's go this way...
----------
Seel: Hmm. This looks... rickety. I'd rather not be up here if it suddenly decides to fall apart.
Thomas: Look down there, there's a table with some candles. Does someone live here?
Briana: I call dibs on the spider interview.
Seel: There's one down there by that table. Go talk to it.
Briana: Ooh! Here I go!
*Briana descends the ladder*
Arya: *quietly* Seel, that's not funny. She's been through a lot, you know, you shouldn't make fun.
Seel: What? I'm not making fun at all. I just want to see a grown woman talk to a spider.
Briana: Why, hello there, little guy! I'm Briana with Gransys News, we're doing a story on Bitterblack Isle. Could you tell us, the room we're in now, what is it used for?
Thomas: Oh my goodness. I... I can't watch this.
Briana: *to spider* Oh, I see. So this is like a storeroom? What was stored here?
Seel:*looks at cameramen* Are you filming this? This is golden.
Arya: Why isn't the spider trying to bite her? Or spit at her or whatever they do?
Thomas: Yeah, it... it's just sitting there. I'm always dodging volleys of venom as soon as I get within a spider's range.
Briana: *to spider*...You don't know, huh? And what is it you're eating there? A scrag of beast? Looks tasty. Oh, the goblins leave you and your friends scraps to feed on? That's nice.
Seel: *whispers* We do have mithridate, right? Just in case? She's gonna get bitten. She has to.
Briana: *to spider* Oh, thank you, but I don't eat raw meat. You eat your dinner, sweetheart.
Arya: Forget the documentary on BBI, we should be interviewing Briana.
Briana: *to spider* What was that? You'd like to give us a tour? How lovely!
Thomas;
What.
Seel: I'd like to take a moment to point out that
Briana was supposed to be the one giving the tour. She's our guide.
Briana: Guys, this is Tarquin, he wants to show us around. Isn't that nice of him?
Seel: Sure?
Arya: Briana, I really think you should put him down, he's a dangerous creature.
Briana: He says he's "no more dangerous than that blue haired guy over there."
Arya: Fair enough. So where are you - I mean, where is Tarquin taking us?
Briana: He says just down the hall there's a nice open area with a lot of people we can talk to.
Thomas: People?
Briana: Well, things that walk on two legs. Spiders lump us all together with goblins and golems and things. Isn't that beautiful?
Seel: No. That's insulting, because
I'm beautiful. I'm no filthy goblin.
Briana: *ignoring him* Come on, guys, this way! Incredible discoveries await!
*Seel, Arya and Thomas follow Briana, still carrying the spider, into the next room.*
Thomas: I must admit, this is actually a little exciting. Completely crazy, yes, but... I wouldn't turn this off if I was watching at home.
Arya: It's hard to turn away, isn't it?
Seel: Look, there's some goblins up ahead. I'm gonna get in there and snap up this scoop before Briana does.
*Seel approaches a goblin, holds out a hand*
Seel: Hello, sir? Can you understand me?
Goblin: Whatchu want, human? You comin' here wit'cher "Vee Ehn Ehn" and yer "dock-yoo-men-trees" again?
Seel: Vee...
Voldoa was here? I wonder if Shinon knows that?
Goblin: Came a few weeks ago, lost their leader, I think. Still see some of 'em 'round, they're stuck here now.
Seel: Why stuck? The doors outside aren't locked.
Goblin: Where's yer Arisen?
Seel: Wow, you don't mess around.
Arya: Ugh. We came here with a friend's master. She's with him.
Goblin: She's yer only ticket outta here. Bitterblack Isle's only open to 'risen. When they die, their slaves're stuck. The lower floors are stuffed full of 'em, y'can't swing a dead rabbit without hitting one. Drove all of us up here, th'bastards. Don'choo be gettin' yerselves stuck here, too. You do yer silly lil'thing here and be on yer way.
Thomas: Thanks for not attacking us, by the way.
Goblin: Ehh. If I wasn't so tired, I would be. We just got in a brawl wit' more a'yous a few minutes ago. I'm still waitin' for this kingwarish to do its job.
Arya: You mean pawns? What did they look like?
Goblin: Giants. One of 'em made everything go dark, then alluva sudden there's an arrow in m'brain. I played dead 'til they went by. I'm no idiot.
Thomas: Could be Woolie, and maybe Iorveth or Quintin.
Goblin: I didn't get their names, too busy tryin' to not die. *leans in* If y'don't mind me askin', *indicates Briana and Tarquin, who are over by the far wall, inspecting some crates* What the hell's goin' on there?
Arya: We... we don't know. We're pretty much just along for the ride.
Briana: Guys! GUYS! Tarquin found a piece of rancid meat! He says you can use it to make the room smell bad!
Seel: We... we should get going. Thanks for the chat, mister.
Goblin: Yeah, yeah.
-----
Shinon: Ugh, there's another corpse. Not exactly the most encouraging sight, is it? Look how he landed. Ouch.
Chase: I hear movement ahead, hopefully it's the rest of our group.
*Alynna staggers a third time*
LEAVE THIS PLACE! YOU'VE STILL THE TIME TO TURN BACK, STILL THE TIME TO LIVE!
Alynna: *presses a hand to her forehead* Okay, this is getting more than a little annoying.
Shinon: I guess the cloak doesn't help. If this is gonna keep happening every few steps, you're gonna have a hell of a time in here.
Alynna: I'm getting a headache already. I don't like where this is going.
Gabs: When another spirit tries to reach you, just stay calm, close your eyes, block it out, think of something that relaxes you. Perhaps the sound of the waves lapping at the shore in Cassardis, or a warm mug of Harspud Milk.
Shinon: Harspud milk tastes like someone already drank it, then mashed some potatoes in it.
Gabs:
Well. Thank you for that imagery. I'm sure that helps your master relax.
Alynna: Heh. Thanks, guys. Just gimme a minute.
*A light flickers from the corner at the end of the hall, it catches Chase's eye and he goes to investigate*
Chase: GAH!
???: Excuse me, Oh, this is embarrassing...I seem to have wedged myself in this doorframe. I don't suppose one of you could give me a hand here?
Shinon: You're Death, aren't you?
Death: Death? Noooo. Oh, because of the scythe? Noooo. No. Just a... farmer.
Shinon: Of souls.
Death: Now what the heck would I do with souls? Get over here and help me!
Shinon: If I do, will you give us some information about this place?
Death: What do you want to know?
Chase: Everything. We're doing a documentary.
Death: Fine, fine.
Shinon: If you reap my soul, you're going to be very disappointed with its quality, I hope you know.
Death: I wouldn't doubt it.
Shinon: Wow, you're really stuck good, aren't you?
Death: Urf, I'm not as thin as I used to be. I'm getting stuck everywhere these days.
*Death is eventually freed, giving the group a bow of thanks.*
Shinon: Okay, now for your part of the bargain. What's the story of BBI?
Death: *sets lantern on the ground, rests scythe against the wall* Well, I don't know much. I do know there's a whole buried city underneath this castle, I sometimes float around there, it's nice and quiet. It almost looks like a deserted version of the town I grew up in, actually. You might know it. Cassardis?
Alynna: Really? I'M from Cassardis! I don't remember ever seeing you around. My name's Alynna. What's your name?
Death: Oh, gosh, I don't remember. My mind's a sieve these days when it comes to names.
Chase: How long have you been here?
Death: Not sure. A week? A few decades, maybe? You get used to it, I remember hating the feel of the place when I got here, but then after a while,
yeah. Now it feels like home. And I got a job and everything. You guys should go ask Daimon for a job, he'll set you up real nice.
Gabs: And what is it you do?
Death: Oh, I... I clean. I'm a custodian.
Shinon: You said you were a farmer.
Death: I CAN BE TWO THINGS.
Gabs: No offense, but you're not a very good custodian. There are corpses
everywhere.
Death: It's a big place, I can't be everywhere at once. My room's on one of the bottom floors. Takes me forever to get up here.
Shinon: So this Daimon, he's in charge, then? What's he like? Could we meet him?
Death: Sure, he's usually in the throne room sulking. I keep telling him, he should have a stroll through the city. Perks me right up.
Alynna: So what is it that brought you here in the first place?
Death: *c*cks head to the side*...something about... hiding? Was I hiding from something? I remember being angry, but... about what? *shrugs, picks up his scythe and lantern* Ah, no matter. I really must be on my way. You say there were corpses up this way?
Shinon: Yeah, there were two right in the entryway.
Death: Thanks. *floats up the hall, then turns back* Oh, and if you see any Arisen, tell them I'm looking for them.
Alynna: ...Why are you looking for Arisen?
Death: *waves hand dismissively* S'just my other job. My
other other job.
Shinon: Do you kill them?
Death: A little bit, yeah.
Gabs: A 'little bit.'
Death: It's for their own good, though. Stay too long in here and you go mad. Like I did.
Alynna: You were an Arisen?
Death: As far as I know, I still am. Look, you four seem like a lovely bunch of people, but I really have to get going. We'll probably run into each other again, so until then, toodles.
*They wait until Death disappears around the corner, then stay silent for a further few moments*
Alynna: That actually scared me a bit. Did you see the size of that scythe?
Chase: It's no match for my Devil's Nail. D'uh, I mean, the Handyman's Devil's... oh, right, you know.
Gabs: We may need a bodyguard or two for Alynna for when Shinon is unavailable.
Shinon: I think Rook is free.
Alynna: There's a reason he's free.
Shinon: Well there's that knight friend of yours, that Ser Whatshisname. Morrissey or whatever.
Alynna: Ser Jerrome? Are you seriously suggesting Ser Jerrome? You try and get him on a little boat without him going apepoop on you.
Shinon: Yeah, and I think he's still a little bitter anyway. I also may have killed him. What about Mercedes? Is she around?
Alynna: Barnaby would do it.
Shinon: HA. ...Oh, you're serious?
Alynna: It's his duty to help the Arisen, right?
Shinon: What could he possibly do to protect you? Pace back and forth and glower at things? I've already got that covered.
Alynna: He could just talk Death out of killing me, I'm sure.
Shinon: He already said he couldn't come anyway. His "injury".
Alynna: I have dozens of periapts I don't use, he'll be fine.
Shinon:
Rook it is. Someone get Rook on the... the thing you got Ulee on before.
Camerapawn: Righty-o!
Alynna: Rook. Really.
Shinon: You know I'd never leave your safety in the hands of someone I didn't think was up to the task. Rook's a little inexperienced, but he's a quick learner. Hopefully his master lets him come.
----
Meanwhile, in the pawn guild...
Rook: So yeah, then I went up to that big ol' ogre and I yelled "You put that lady down!" You shoulda seen his eyes - he was sooooo scared. And...and then I climbed up his leg, right -
Barnaby: Aren't you a mage? Wouldn't you be more effective at range?
Rook: You'd think so, but no. Yeah, I took out my staff and -
Barnaby: Please stop waving that around, you're going to hit someone.
Rook: Will you let me finish? Yeah, so I went *hits an imaginary ogre with his staff* PEW PEW PEEEEWWW, and he went "GRARGRRGRAH" *waves arms around wildly* -
*Something in Rook's pocket makes a noise and he jumps, startled*
Rook: What the... oh, right. Y'ever see these things? *Rook takes what appears to be a ferrystone out of his pocket* Telestones, they call 'em. They're like ferrystones for your voice.
Barnaby: That sounds rather -
Rook: Shut up, it's not stupid and contrived at all.
Barnaby: I was going to say useful...
*Shinon's voice blares from the telestone*
Shinon: Rook? This is Shinon. You busy?
Rook: Y-
Shinon: I don't care - get your ass down to Bitterblack Isle, Master needs a pawn with a guardian inclination.
Rook: Guardian? Yeah, I think I'm still a guardian.
Barnaby: From your ogre tale, you sounded like a scather.
Shinon: Barnaby? Is that you?
Barnaby: Yes, is everything all right down there?
Shinon: Yeah, for now. Master just needs some extra protection, is all.
Barnaby: You do not have the rift crystals to hire someone more capable?
Rook: Hey!
Shinon: Are you offering some?
Barnaby: I'm offering my services. I've been a guardian for centuries.
Shinon: Of a hole in the ground. My master isn't a hole. What about your 'crippling injury'?
Barnaby: I cannot fight, not with a sword or bow, but I believe I still may be able to cast.
Shinon: Are you sure? What about the Everfall?
Barnaby: Rook? Would you like to take care of things here until I return? All you have to do is
not open the door to the Everfall.
*Rook's brow furrows as if struggling with the idea*
Rook: ...Do I get paid?
Barnaby: People might come by and give you fish occasionally.
Rook: Score! I'm your man, boss!
Barnaby: Where is your master, by the way? Will he not need you?
Rook: He went to get new gear for us, told me to wait here. It's been a few days, and the gear shop's just around the corner. He's probably bought the whole place out and is now trying to find a cart to bring it all back. He's rich, you know.
Barnaby: I see. *to the telestone* Shinon, I shall be a few moments gathering supplies, then I will meet you in the Rift.
Shinon: Yep.
----
Seel: Hi folks! We've entered a flooded hallway, which appears to be just off the courtyard we're due to meet up with the others in. I may be smiling, but this stench is
nasty. Thomas is currently throwing up in the corner over there, which will no doubt add to the delightful bouquet.
Briana: *screams in alarm* A SPIDER! *tosses Tarquin to the floor, he skitters off*
Arya: You okay, Bri? You back with us now?
Briana: Did you not see the size of that thing? IT WAS ON MY ARM!
Seel: Yeaaaah, you said its name was Tarquin and you had a few conversations with it. The crazy thing is that it didn't attack you.
Briana: Well now I feel bad.
Arya: Guys, look...
Thomas : HWARLFGH...
Seel: Are these... human bones?
Briana:...that walk on their own?
Arya: They seem to be. Gosh, this is so sad. They're just piled up like trash. Each and every one of these people deserves a decent respawn, not... this.
Seel: There are dozens of people here... who piled them all up?
???: Ah, excuse me, please.
*Death tosses several corpses onto one of the piles*
Death: Gotta keep the place clean.
Briana: Guys,
run. That's Death.
Death: Oh, stop it. And I'm not "Death." I'm just the cleaner. You think I want to make even
more work for myself? There're enough corpses as it is.
Seel: Did you kill all these people?
Death: Some of them. Oh, are you with the others I just met in the other hall? They seemed nice.
Briana: If you killed them, I will pepper you with so many blast arrows you'll look like you faceplanted onto a porcupine.
Death: Ooh. I like you. No, like I said, there are enough corpses for me to clean up as it is. I'm just hunting Arisen now.
Arya: Alynna...? Oh gods...
Death: She's an Arisen? Dammit, I used to be able to sense these things. Oh well, next time.
Thomas: None may touch the Arisen!
*Seel, Briana and Arya turn to see Thomas, still a little unsteady on his feet, throw an empty flask at Death, it sails through his robe and shatters against the wall*
Briana: Wow, that Dose of Courage really works fast.
Death: *heavy sigh* Was that necessary, young man?
*Thomas readies his bow*
Death: Are you sure you want to do this?
*Death's lantern begins to glow with a bluish light*
Thomas: I'm not afraid of you.
Death: You should be.
*Death waves his lantern, a blue mist fills the hall. Seel, Arya and Thomas stagger, trying to resist the powerful urge to lay down and sleep*
Briana: I AM THE DANGAN!
Briana grabs a handful of arrows from her quiver, firing them all at once at Death's "face". They explode on impact and Death crumples to the ground.
Arya: Whoa. You've gotta teach me that.
As the four of them advance, Death disappears with an annoyed grunt.
Briana: Everyone okay?
Seel: Yeah, I think so.
Briana: Next time, slack off a bit on the courage, Thomas. Death isn't to be trifled with.
Thomas: I threw up most of it. I dunno, don't you guys still get that guardian instinct when someone threatens an Arisen?
Seel: Kinda.
Arya: Yeah.
Briana: No. I mean yes. Definitely yes.
Thomas: And didn't that goblin say we'd be stuck here if Alynna died?
Arya: Yeah, he's right. If Death's after Alynna, We have to fight him off.
Briana: We won't see him for a while. He has to rest and relight his lantern. She should be safe for the time being.
Seel: I hope we meet up with them soon. We've gotta let them know.
---
Shinon: Well, folks, I'm heading back to the rift for a few moments to lead Barnaby back here. You can't bring cameras into the rift, which is unfortunate because we all gather there. It's a huge party 24/7. With fireworks and cake. I guess it's time to sign off for now, but we'll be back soon. Possibly with actual reporting, you never know. Anything can happen.
Modifié par Shepenwepet, 26 janvier 2014 - 06:10 .
Retour en haut
My other options when switching vocations got me Devilsbane (which I also wanted and nearly took) and the Dominion Claw which I was kinda meh about. I really, really, really want a Blackwing Bow, but no matter what combo I tried, it gave me the freaking staff for any class that had magic in it. Does anyone know if there is a specific combination to getting the MA bow, or is it completely luck?
I might try anyway......
Seel comes in sorcerer, mage, ranger, and strider. A lot of beginners like a mage, so let me know if you'd like me to change him to that. He's a sorcerer for now.
![=]](https://lvlt.forum.bioware.com/public/style_emoticons/default/sideways.png)
Part of the reason I went back to Rohan/Seel. I couldn't handle it after awhile. It's nice to go back to a playthrough where everyone has PROPER WEAPONS.
It's funny, I forgot what she looked like without make-up. Totally different. Still a gloriously perfect Amazon, of course, but different.
