80 réponses à ce sujet

[AdmiralCheez]

We don't do enough stuff for the lulz on this forum.  Behold, my pity attempt to correct that.

OKAY.  Go to www.random.org and input a Min of 1 and a Max of 18.

In the scenarios that follow, you will be generating random numbers which correspond with squadmates as follows:

1. Liara
2. Jack
3. Garrus
4. Samara
5. Wrex
6. Kaidan
7. Tali
8. Miranda
9. Zaeed
10. Mordin
11. Jacob
12. Thane
13. Ashley
14. Kasumi
15. Legion
16. Morinth
17. Grunt
18. Joker

Think of it as Mad Libs, but on crack.  With Mass Effect.  So when I say GENERATE!, you hit the button to generate a random number between 1 and 18.  Ready?

GENERATE!  This teammate is your new LI.  Tell me about a romantic evening you two had together.

GENERATE!  This teammate suddenly hates you and decided to steal all your stuff.  How do you get it back?

GENERATE! is now pregnant.  Ignore science.  GENERATE! is the father.  Reaction.

You go up to your cabin to find a gift-wrapped box.  It's from GENERATE!.  What's in it?

GENERATE! gets in a fight with GENERATE!.  Who wins?

One day, GENERATE! decides (s)he is never going to wear clothing ever again.  Yourfacewhen.jpg.

And then Shepard died.  GENERATE! takes his/her place.  Okay, let's be honest, how screwed is the galaxy?

So let's say Shepard didn't die.  But during the final fight between you and Harbinger, GENERATE! suddenly swoops in, defeats him single-handedly, and saves the day.  How do you feel about that?

Finally, GENERATE! is dead.  Write something nice to say at his/her funeral.

Just kidding.  It's actually GENERATE!, GENERATE!, and GENERATE! who are dead.  The killer?  GENERATE!.  Now, how the hell did this happen?

Okay, we're done.  But before I let you go, let's say you decided to write a fanfic.  GENERATE! and GENERATE! is your OTP (one true pairing).  What is the title of this atrocity?

Modifié par AdmiralCheez, 20 octobre 2011 - 01:06 .

[ADLegend21]

Ashley. Took her to an Open mic night and she had the whole house snapping
Joker suddenly hates me and steals my stuff, I delete his Porn
Legion is now pregnant, Ashley is the father, a tiny geth platform with a hairbun.
Present from Jack, it's two tickets to spacefootball, yay!
Morinth gets in a fight with Mordin, Mordin cuz HE BLINDED HER WITH SCIENCE!
one day Kasumi decides to never wear clothes my face: _
Shep dies and Grunt takes her place, Galaxy is only slightly screwed.
final fight with harby and Thane swoops in and saves the day, Thank you Thane! *big hug*
finally, Samara is dead "She was a dedicated friend, she was an awesome justicar, we killed a Yagh and an ardat-yakshi. Alas she was an awesome asari, I will name a child after her."

JK Mordin, Wrex, and Liara are dead, it was Liara. She combined chemicals she shouldn't have. noooooooooo

fanfic: Kaidan and Legion are my OTP "Biotic computers"

[Dominus]

Kasumi and I enjoyed a romantic dinner in my cabin. She told me elaborate stories about her neat little box, amusing anecdotes on thievery. She even showed me her prize. Wait...nevermind that last part.

Zaeed stole my sniper rifle. Bloody hell. There's one simple solution, and it starts with the business end of my shotgun.

Miranda is preggy, and Wrex is the father. My reaction? FUUUUUUU-....

Thane left me a gift. I opened it. It's... A Mass Effect 3 Dr. Pepper. It burns my teeth, but all my molars have mass effect fields so it's all good.

Garrus got in a fight with Joker. Well...that's an easy fight. Sorry: Joker's are wild, but they don't always win, bud.

Jack decides she's going fully nude. Fortunately, she's covered so deep into tattoos, I can't even tell.

Shepard's dead, and tali's taking his/her place. Well, at least it's not Zaeed or Mordin. We'd either be using the normandy for dirty deals across the galaxy, or the entire crew would be overworked from Mr. Coffee.

Legion took my kill from harbinger. I have reached a consensus. ==> :-(

Kaidan is dead. Good night, sweet prince. Yes, you looked like elvis in space, and you were kind of a butthead in ME2, but you were a good man.

Grunt, Mordin, and Miranda are dead. The killer is... Samara?!...well, I'm sure they were going to do something criminal later anyways, so it's all right.

Thane and Jacob become a couple. What is it called?
Leaping for the Prize - Part of the Fight for the Frog Series.

Well played, Admiral. That was a good one. I miss being back on ME forums for something besides so-and-so confirmed feature is making the fans mad again. I like this.

Modifié par DominusVita, 20 octobre 2011 - 01:11 .

[jeweledleah]

Cheez, you start the best threads

lets see.

my LI is Tali. our romantic evening consisted of a visit to a botanical garden, followed by a visit to a harware store. >_>

Miranda suddenly hates me and steals all my stuff. I get it back by enlisting Oriana's help. while Oriana distracts Miranda with uncomfortable questions, I sneak in and get all my stuff back.

Liara is pregnant with Jacob's baby. my reaction is to throw them a baby shower - Mazl tov

I just got a gift from Joker. looks like extranet porn collection.

Grunt got into a fight with Zaeed. Zaeed wins, mostly becasue Grunt pushed him into berserk mode by messing with Jessie.

One day Joker decides to never wear clothing again. my reaction is resigned facepalm. I shouldn't have mentioned feeling lucky that he was wearing pants.

and then Shepard dies and Jacob takes his place. honestly? Galaxy might actually be better off that way.

ok, so Shepard didn't die. except Miranda swooped in and single handedly saved the day. well I guess she'll no longer have doubts about her abilities... hopefully :/

damn it, Jacob is dead. he was an honest man, stable, honorable. he did his best to help people, he did a lot of good in his lifetime. the galaxy will be dimmer for his loss.

bah, and Jacob is still dead, along with Wrex and Joker... and it was Wrex that got them all killed. damn it Wrex, I told you fighting that thresher maw was a bad idea, it was too damn old and too damn big >_> and no matter how god of a pilot Joker is, he's not THAT good of a Mako driver :/

Kasumi and Zaeed are my OTP and the title of their story is "Stolen"

good god.... sometimes I wonder about those random generators... seriously.. these were the numbers I got O_O

[CrutchCricket]

lol the first number I got is the one you mislabled (Ashley's supposed to be 13). Anyway:

Ashley is my new LI (funny she was my old one too). Night together- Ilos. We all know that one.

Legion hates me? Go go gadget AI Hacking!

Morinth is now pregnant (genetic destiny indeed). Ashley is the father?? Time for space Jerry Springer!

Legion got me something? It's a tiny geth platform that plays with my space hamster!

Tali gets in a fight with Zaeed. Tali wins because she hacks the trash compactor airlock.

One day Wrex decides he will never wear clothes again.  yourfacewhen.jpg?

Shepard dies, Mordin takes his place. Kills Reapers and writes opera about it. Very well received *sharp inhale.* Sold out every night.

Kaidan swoops in and saves Shepard? But he was nuked! Radioactive zombie Kaidan!

Mordin is dead. He was the very model of a scientist salarian.

Miranda, Wrex and Kaidan are dead??  And Jack killed them in the mess hall with the wrench? ****!

Mordin and Morinth star in... Space Dracula! The Musical!

[thatguy212]

Morinth This teammate is your new LI.  Tell me about a romantic evening you two had together.

We shared a lovely evening drinking and listening to Expel 10 before sealing the deal, I woke up on a operating table for the lazarus project 2.0

Legion This teammate suddenly hates you and decided to steal all your stuff.  How do you get it back?

Challenging Legion to a dance off, winner take all

Kaidan is now pregnant.  Ignore science. Samara is the father.  Reaction.

May their first child be a masculine child

You go up to your cabin to find a gift-wrapped box.  It's from Miranda.  What's in it?

A book on improving your self-esteem

Ashley gets in a fight with Mordin.  Who wins?

Ashley

One day, Grunt decides (s)he is never going to wear clothing ever again.  Yourfacewhen.jpg.



And then Shepard died.  Joker takes his/her place.  Okay, let's be honest, how screwed is the galaxy?

We're boned

So let's say Shepard didn't die.  But during the final fight between you and Harbinger, Liara suddenly swoops in, defeats him single-handedly, and saves the day.  How do you feel about that?

So thats why you couldn't be killed in the last two games

Finally, Zaeed is dead.  Write something nice to say at his/her funeral.

He died the way he always wanted to go, after Vido

Just kidding.  It's actually Joker, Kasumi, and Jacob who are dead.  The killer?  Morinth.  Now, how the hell did this happen?

Tragic Orgy accident

Okay, we're done.  But before I let you go, let's say you decided to write a fanfic.  Jack and Kaidan is your OTP (one true pairing).  What is the title of this atrocity?

The beast with biotic backs

Modifié par thatguy212, 20 octobre 2011 - 01:35 .

[Dhiro]

Zaeed is my LI. After two hours talking about guns, I invited him to show me his assault rifle. Things weren't as expected. I cried.

Grunt stole my things. Time to slap his pure krogan as with a singularity.

Miranda is pregnant and Jacob is the father. I'm pretty happy for them, actually.

Joker gave me his d*ck in a box.

Jacob fights Kaidan. My Femshep would try to stop the fight with the prospect of a threesome.

Tali decided to never use clothes again. She dies. <_<

Liara took Shepard's place. With the power of her plot armor, the galaxy is safe again.

Kasumi saves the day. I'll cover for her while she slips drugs in Jacob's drink.

Thane died. As expected. Very sad.

Fanfic: Kasumi/Mordin in Kasumi/Mordin, A Fanfic.

Modifié par Dhiro, 20 octobre 2011 - 01:50 .

[dreamextractor]

Wrex is now my LI. We spend a quiet night on Tuchanka together. What? Wrex can be a romantic.

Liara stole my stuff - I threaten to throw her out of the airlock.
Jacob is now pregnant, and Tali is the father. Reaction? 

Morinth gave me a present. Krogan...porn?

Jack and Zaeed fight it out. Jack wins. And then...the priiiize.

Liara decides to never wear clothes again: NOW I throw her out of the airlock. 

Legion takes Shepard's place after Shepard dies. The Galaxy...might not be screwed? Awesome Geth Sniper ready to save the day!

But then Liara swoops in and saves the day. Wait a minute, didn't I kill you?! CURSE YOU BIOWARE AND YOUR RETCONING! SO MUCH FOR HAVING CHOICES!

Miranda is dead. She was an unexpected ally and friend...she will be missed.

Mordin, Miranda, Joker are dead. Morinth is the killer. Oh, so that's how Miranda died....

Legion and Garrus star in a slash fic. The title - "Overheating". Heh. 

Modifié par dreamextractor, 20 octobre 2011 - 01:32 .

[D.Kain]

Nice one, very nice one.

Soo, my new LI is Legion. We had a very nice evening together with interesting conversations and Legion was a bit shy. Then we danced the robot dance, and I had some food, while Legion was watching. Then we went home, it was dark so Legion flash lighted the road with his head.
It was a very romantic evening, will be looking to meeting him again soon.

Well when Wrex stole my stuff I was very angry, and it was not the time, Not to mention that I had an overly bad day. So I put a couple of shotgun rounds into his leg and chest. He'll live, but will remember the lesson.

So recently Joker and Jack had a romance. I was pretty surprised.b I didn't know Joker was into girls like Jack, not to mention the rough sex they would have wouldn't be very good for his bones. But hey, love knows no boundaries. But the most important thing was, when Joker wanted to have kids, Jack told him to go screw himself, because she didn't want to get pregnant, so he was forced to get a sample of her DNA and implant a baby into his own belly. Oh the things modern medicine can do. Well I wish them well. I hope Jack won't abuse him.

So I went to my cabin and saw a gift from Zaeed. It was a little badge that said: I will survive. Just the little moral boost and positive emotion to make the day better.

So after I walked out of my cabin Joker told me that Thane and Legion were having a fight. And I really wanted to go on the next date with Legion so when I arrived I helped him kick Thanes but, and told him that if he will ever ''hit'' on my lovely AI again he is going off the airlock. Thus Legion won, and danced his happy dance again.

Omg... As if catsuit wasn't enough.

Well atleast she doesn't have heels on anymore lol

When I died.. Tali took over the crew. I didn't know she was a good leader. Well I guess the galaxy is screwed, but maybe the quarians will live a little longer. lol

So during the Final fight Kaidan sweeps in and destroys the harbinger...
Well I guess I need retirement there's a new spectre in town and he kicks ass.

So Wrex died, I overreacted. I guess this should be a warning to everyone. DON'T STEAL FROM ME!

Haha. So Mordin, Kasumi and Grunt were killed by Morinth. Emm let's see, the report says that: kasumi told Mordin that Morinth isn't Samara, then Mordin wanted to reaserch her biology at night and called Grunt to help him restrain her. But Morinth dominated Mordin and Grunt, found out from Mordin that it was Kasumi who knew her disguise then ordered Grunt to kill Mordin and raped Grunt, after which she gave Kasumi one mean biotic ass slap.

So my fanfic is about Kaidan and Samara? Well the title would be: ''love is always out there, but she is wearing a cloak field without cooldown...''

Anyway thanks for the topic, it was very fun. =)

[LadyofRivendell]

Legion.  This teammate is your new LI.  Tell me about a romantic evening you two had together.
Um... We... Watched Wall-e while drinking Motor Oil?

Samara.  This teammate suddenly hates you and decided to steal all your stuff.  How do you get it back?
You know... I probably wouldn't get any of it back, no matter how much I wanted to.

Kasumi is now pregnant.  Ignore science.  Legion is the father.  Reaction.
What is this I don't even.

You go up to your cabin to find a gift-wrapped box.  It's from Kaidan.  What's in it?
A Kaidan Alenko Owner's Manual?

Samara gets in a fight with Miranda.  Who wins?
And the fanboys are lining up now.
Even though I like Miranda better, I'm pretty sure Samara would win, hands down.

One day, Jack decides (s)he is never going to wear clothing ever again.  Yourfacewhen.jpg.


And then Shepard died. Mordin takes his/her place. Okay, let's be honest, how screwed is the galaxy?
Well, he is the very model of a Scientist Salarian.

So let's say Shepard didn't die. But during the final fight between you and Harbinger, Liara suddenly swoops in, defeats him single-handedly, and saves the day. How do you feel about that?
Curse you, T'soni, swooping in and stealing my heroics <_<

Finally, Tali is dead. Write something nice to say at his/her funeral.
It takes guts to be killed in the middle of the war by the stomach flu...

Just kidding. It's actually Miranda, Ashley, and Thane who are dead. The killer? Zaeed. Now, how the hell did this happen?
Well I nuked Ashley, and Thane's got a disease, so I guess Zaeed and Miranda were just having a disagreement gone horribly wrong?

Okay, we're done. But before I let you go, let's say you decided to write a fanfic. Joker and Garrus is your OTP (one true pairing). What is the title of this atrocity?
Um... I'm bad at naming as is.


I love these kinds of things! There's a variation of them around on DeviantArt, called OC (Original Character) quizzes. Although you don't have to use OCs, I use ME characters for the hilarity. You assign each person a number, and then you'll get sentences like "1 and 4 get drunk in your house" and such. Here's a link to one of them, if anyone is curious (mild language).

[Golden Owl]

Joker: I have a manShep...implications......Date: Sex Pistols Concert...
Garrus: Steals Sheps stuff...mess with his calibrations until he gives in.......
Garrus: Is pregnant...Grunt's the father.......Oh dear......Calibrations were clearly messed with...
Tali: Gives Shep a pressie....it's a Joker inflatable, Joker didn't do too well at the concert....
Tali & Samara fight: Tali's Joker inflatable was illegal....Tali didn't come out to well after Samara's beating...
Samara: Relinquishes her clothing, found she has a thing for Tali...Shep doesn't mind...
Liara: Takes over dead Sheps place...she's so busy trying to bring Shep back again, the Reapers take a free pass...
Morinth: Saves the day and Shep while she's at it...Liara suddenly finds Morinth VERY appealing....
Wrex: Is dead....'Wrex, a name to fit a personality, the glue of Tuchunka went the way of the Dodo...alas Tuchunka is now scr*wed'....:innocent:
Kaidan, Samara and Kasumi: All now dead by Kasumi's hand.....David was a lot heavier than Kasumi realized....
Zaeed & Thane: Fanfic...."That's Guddamn Suicide!"

Modifié par Golden Owl, 20 octobre 2011 - 01:51 .

[AdmiralCheez]

Oh god I have the giggles. I love the responses.

Anyway, since this is all my fault, I'll give it a go.

NEW LI: Jack. I took her to a classy restaurant on Bekenstein. We didn't mesh well with the crowd, but it was going fairly well until some jerk in a fancy suit looked at us funny.

... Only Zaeed made it out alive.

JOKER took my stuff. I shave his beard while he sleeps and airlock his hat for good measure.

KAIDAN is pregnant. KASUMI's the father. Well, the birth will be awkward but it'll probably be a cute kid.

I get a present in my cabin from KASUMI. Before I can open it, I get a panicked call from a museum curator back on Earth warning me to return the artifact to the sacred tomb before I succumb to a horrible curse. Thanks, Kasumi. Thanks.

KAIDAN gets in a fight with ZAEED. Kaidan wins because Zaeed is afraid to punch a pregnant man.

MIRANDA becomes a nudist.

Shepard:



And then takes Shepard's place as the face of the galactic resistance.

The galaxy:



During the fight with Harby, LEGION swoops in and crits the bastard. I can't be mad at him for stealing my thunder, though--LOOK AT THOSE CUTE EYEBROWS.

GARRUS died. At his funeral: "B*tch, I told you to stay in cover!"

JOKER and LIARA are dead, too. And it's all MIRANDA's doing. Looks like no one's immune to Dat Ass.

Finally, Broken Bones, Broken Heart: A Joker/Kaidan fanfic.

[Dominus]

By the way, are we allowed one second playthrough? I'd like to give it one more go for the lulz, if it's allowed.

[AdmiralCheez]

DominusVita wrote...

By the way, are we allowed one second playthrough? I'd like to give it one more go for the lulz, if it's allowed.

Absolutely.

@LadyofRivendell: That was kind of sort of the inspiration, hurr durr.

[jeweledleah]

if I have any more lulz, I might die from too many of them. then again..... that would be a great way to go

[PMC65]

Kaidan took Shepard to Buddhist temple where they walked the quiet gardens together holding hands and enjoying the peace. He kissed her softly under the cherry blossoms after he said that they reminded him of the Citadel where he first wanted to kiss her.

Liara stole Shepard's N7 jacket so the next time they saw each other Shepard had Joker tell her that the Commander had been given another prothean message. When she joined their minds to retrieve the information Shepard thought of Garrus dressed as Dolly Parton and singing "Where is my Man?" over and over.

Zaeed is pregnant and Legion is the father ... erm, well I hope Jessie doesn't find out. 

Kasumi left Shepard a statue of Han Solo with a note: "Who do you wanna Leia Commander?"

Kaidan shows Garrus how he defeated Vyrnnus ... kaidan 2 turians 0

Jacob decides he is never going to wear clothing ever again. Shepard:  Kasumi: 

Shepard died and Zaeed took over ... Reapers dead and now Zaeed, Jack & Joker are space pirates on the Normandy 3. Galaxy still screwed.

During the final fight between you and Harbinger, Wrex suddenly swoops in, defeats him single-handedly, and saves the day. Relieved that it wasn't Conrad Verner  

Legion died ... Here lies my friend, or would that be friends? Anyhoo, I'm gonna miss you and your crazy dance.

Morinth, Thane, Legion were killed by Tali ... She has a shotgun alright. Morinth tried seducing her, Thane kept remembering when he caught her using her trojan stim program in front of everybody "Moaning, screaming Keelah, clutching picture of Shep-" BAM! and Legion just because.

 Zaeed and Wrex fan fic title "A Gudam Tuchanka Spartan Tale"



 

[LadyofRivendell]

AdmiralCheez wrote...

DominusVita wrote...

By the way, are we allowed one second playthrough? I'd like to give it one more go for the lulz, if it's allowed.

Absolutely.

@LadyofRivendell: That was kind of sort of the inspiration, hurr durr.

Oh. Well then, foot enter mouth here ->

[AdmiralCheez]

LadyofRivendell wrote...

Oh. Well then, foot enter mouth here ->

Foot in the mouth?  For me shamelessly ripping off another website's subculture?

My my, dear, you are far too critical of yourself.

[Dominus]

Tali is my new romance. We take a pleasant stroll through haelstrom to work on my tan. She takes some spare explosives around the buildings and provides some makeshift fireworks. It ends with us doing that awkward-cuddle thing from ME2. You know, where we're she's kind of on my knee and I'm awkwardly looking at her? That.

Samara stole my stuff. The solution isn't too hard. Remind her of the code. Corrupt cops? > y u no good gurl now?

Kasumi's rocking the kid, with grunt as the father. My reaction? Why are the krogan bumping it with the humans in my random generations? I think the planets are aligning to make this as pervy and nasty as possible. Not that I'm complaining.

Liara gave me a gift. It's...oh god. It's the japanese version of her. Re-Wrapping the box now. Cannot unsee, but can re-wrap it. Airlocked. End of Package.

Joker gets in a fight with grunt. Joker takes him by surprise with a specially-enhanced Super-Wheelchair he was unaware joker had. Joker Wins, believe it or not.

Mordin's going nude. The entire crew passes out after he enters the CIC. He may be the model of a scientist salarian, but we don't need to see the whole model.

Kasumi takes shepard's place. The entire crew, I think they're turning japanese, I really think so.(It's a song, people...)

Joker is dead. But...how will seth green pay the bills now? The family guy star wars movies are over. The end is NIGH.

Morinth, Jacob, and Thane are dead...by the hands of grunt. You know the whole not-controlling-the-rage thing with grunt? Didn't pan out well.

Morinth and Legion end up getting it on in that highly-acclaimed, 75% mainstream hit:
Twiflashlighthead, the tween robosexual audience will squee over it!

[jlb524]

 Tali is my LI and we cuddled on a huge sofa while watching very old science fiction movies.  She likes to make fun of the ridiculous faux-technology depicted in them the entire movie...how cute!

Grunt hates me and stole all of my stuff.  He can have it...I'll get new crap.

Joker is pregnant with Zaeed's baby.  People are surprised that the aging warrior still has it in him.  They named their daughter "Chloe Jessica Massani-Moreau"

Oh look!  Jack got me a present!  *opens gift-wrapped box, box explodes, Shepard is rushed off to the med bay!*

Legion gets in a fight with Garrus.  It's really just a hostile dance-off, so Legion wins.

One day, Morinth decides she'll join a nudist colony for Ardat-Yakshi.  My face: 



And then Shepard died.  Jack takes her place.  She was the one that killed Shepard after all, it's only fair!

While battling Harbinger, Joker suddenly swoops in with the Normandy and shanks Harbinger with a super huge Swiss Army knife attached to the front of the ship.  It was cool!

 Tali is dead!  Noooo! My love!  Well, at least I can watch those old movies in peace without Miss Know-it-all Vas Windbag rambling on for a half hour about why a hyperdrive travel is physically impossible I'M OKAY!!!!

It's actually Grunt, Liara, and Morinth who are dead.  Zaeed killed them.  Baby Chloe thought it would be funny, so he did it to entertain her.  Her daddy spoils her so much!

OTP is Ashley/Samara Title:  How Samara Got Her Groove Back.

[lost.long.ago]

Tali as LI-
Go to a Flux for a few rounds since
she's such a fan of the music there, and then go for a stroll around the
empty-ish late night ship-docks whilst she rambles on about each of the
spacecrafts.  Me?  I just smile and nod...

Liara Steals my Stuff!-
Shep- "Hey Liara, I swear I have some valuable information to trade you for my stuff..."
Liara- "Okay, Shepard.  That sounds like a most acceptable trade." *gives me my things back*
Shep- "You're really a fool if you honestly just fell for that."

Wrex is now pregnant.  Ignore science.  Legion is the father.
"Ha!  Genophage my @ss!  You even managed to have a kid with a pile of steel and rubber-coated wires..."

You go up to your cabin to find a gift-wrapped box.  It's from Thane!  What's in it?
The ultimate weapon... yeah, I don't know how he managed to cram himself into a cubic box with 2ft dimensions, but he's crazy like that.  I told him that I appreciated the thought, and a high-five would be enough since I'm pretty sure Tali planted bugs in my room to make sure I stay true.

Samara gets in a fight with Joker.  Who wins?
Samara;  Joker sits there be a whiny little jerk, and I finally convince Samara to off him when he tries bribing her to let him live... sorry man, but you just get on mah nerves sometimes <_<


One day, Grunt decides (s)he is never going to wear clothing ever again.  Yourfacewhen.jpg.



And then Shepard died.  Joker takes his/her place.  Okay, let's be honest, how screwed is the galaxy?
Eh, Samara killed him, so maybe we still have a chance

So let's say Shepard didn't die.  But during the final fight between you and Harbinger, Morinth suddenly swoops in, defeats him single-handedly, and saves the day.  How do you feel about that?
"Wait... I killed you, didn't ... wait..." *unable to process*

Finally, GENERATE! is dead.  Write something nice to say at his/her funeral.
Kasumi... I'm sorry I'm so damn cheap and never got the DLC for our universe.  I never ttruly got to know you, but I did see pictures of you on Google, and you looked... okay. RIP, thief whom I shall never know" *shrugs*

Just kidding.  It's actually Mordin, Thane, and Morinth who are dead.  The killer?  Samara.  Now, how the hell did this happen?
Samara meets Mordin, and he says, "Welcome.  Name is Mor-"
Samara immediately filled in the blank and figured he was her daughter. 
Thane walked in, hired by the actual Morinth, and starts to say so "I'm Mor-"
Samara beats him down too.
The real Morinth walks in accompanied by her lastest lover, Jacob.
Samara- "May I ask your name, please."
Jacob, remembering Samara in Morinth's mama, starts to explain his relationship.  "I'm Mor-"
Luckily, the Reave she threw at him hit both of them, so I no longer have to put up with crummy pick-up lines.

Okay, we're done.  But before I let you go, let's say you decided to write a fanfic.  Jack and Miranda! is your OTP (one true pairing).  What is the title of this atrocity?
Cerbust: OMG...OMFG!.. I...

Man, I love you Admiral... best topic

Modifié par lost.long.ago, 20 octobre 2011 - 02:11 .

[DiebytheSword]

Jack is a bad girl, I'm a dangerous guy, dangerous girls fit right in.  We laugh, we love, we kill with the Normandy as our pirate ship.  I try to get her to be my saucy pirate wench, but she doesn't like the boots no pants look.  ****, it's complex.
Legion feels betrayed, because he didn't agree to be facilitate unit cohesion with pirates.  That and I team kill him constantly on extranet MMOs.  He steals my ship.  I get it back in a high stakes game of skyllian five.  His poker face was good, mine was better.  I'm Shep, that's why.
During the tempestous times, Zaeed gets knocked up . . . "What, we were guddam heros, now I want to retire as a guddam Mommy."  I then find out it was all set up by TIM, who wanted to see what Zaeed would do for a payday.  I confront him in the hold, and he says, "Your Illusive man can still move a lot of credits.  And Samara's a good sport if you play by er rules." O_o
Legion leaves me dougnuts as a sorry note for stealing my ship.
I'm interrupted by Joker, it appears Ash and Zaeed are going at it in the hold.  Zaeed is feeling a bit . . . grumpy.  And Ash was in no mood for his cattyness.  Ash wins by falcon punch.  Zaeed is the only one who made it out alive . . .
Legion trolls me again by taking off all of his armor and streaking around the bridge and CIC. 

http://4.bp.blogspot...1600/shocked.jp
My heart implants fail at the sight of all that unshielded cording.  I die.  I leave the mission in Joker's capable hands.
Miranda brings me back again to fight harbinger, It goes bad.  But Morinth swoops in to save the day.  Aside from swooping being bad, I know I killed Morinth with Samara!  Morinth takes off her mask, revealing herself to be Prince Zeel.  He lectures me on the importance of renegade decisions, while telling me what a **** I am.  I get him arrested with a paragon interrupt, thanks to my close ties to the council.
Jack dies in the ensuing chaos, giving me enough time to eulogize her in front of a wall of explosions.  Michael Bay is the funeral director, its all very cathartic.  "Most importantly, we must remember that she didn't slit our throats in her sleep, and for that we should thank her for our very lives."
Jack hops back up and points at the dead bodies of Garrus, Morinth, and Tali.  I'm appaled, Jack was trying to get the true murderer out in the open.  Kasumi is outed as the killer after a humerous chase scene.  "I would have gotten away with it too if it werent for you kids and your damn Krogan." "Why did you do it, Kasumi, WHY!"  "I stole your and Samara's kill, it was challenging Shep.  But Garrus and Tali were close, too close, to seeing through my ruse as master thief."
Check back soon for Garrus and Liara, "More than just an alergic reaction, you're poison in my veins baby." or "Levo of the dextro broker."

[FJVP]

 Jack is my romance. I took her to Omega for some vorcha murdering followed by getting drunk until we passed out on Afterlife (I know, I'm such a romantic).

Miranda stole all my stuff. I threaten to report her to the Illusive man and make a tantrum until she finally gets tired and gives me back my stuff by throwing it on my face.
Liara is now pregnant and Miranda is the father, my reaction being ...........

Tali gave me a helmet that matches hers, I decide to give it to Kenneth, after all he likes those buckets more than I do. Just hope Tali doesn't find out.

Thane gets in a fight with Samara. She obliterates Thane before he even has a chance to wink, the memories will now haunt him forever.
Liara decides she'll never wear clothes again (and she's also pregnant!). My reaction is , though if she wasn't pregnant it would probably be 

Garrus takes over... I don't think our chances are that bad, as long as he doesn't get caught up in some calibrations...

Morinth swoops in and defeats Harbinger. I guess the space succubus wouldn't stay dead for too long huh? So the only option is to kill it with fire!!

Ashley is dead. I decide to cremate her and turn her to ashes, but since I never really knew her all I can say is Ashta la vista!

Jack, Kasumi and Mordin died at Liara's hands after she asked them if they could give her something to support the coming child and they denied her. After all the job of the Shadow Broker is not a very profitable one with all the ship maintenance, employee salaries and all that stuff.

Samara and Legion are the protagonists in the most successful and sexy novel on the Galaxy, "Invading into Azure: because sometimes geth do infiltrate" 

Modifié par FJVP, 20 octobre 2011 - 02:30 .

[FeralEwok]

Garrus is my LI and our romantic evening was spent doing..whatever it is that a human male and turian do...

Ashley hates me and steals my stuff. I tell her there is a poetry slam in the cargo bay and have EDI lock her in while my apparent LI Garrus move everything back to the Captain's quarters

Thane is now pregnant.  Science is clearly ignored.  Tali is the father.  I call up Mordin for a talk

I go up to my cabin to find a gift-wrapped box.  It's from Morinth.  It's tickets to Expel 10 and a copy of Vaenia....I don't like where this is going.

Kaiden gets in a fight with Samara. Samara crushes his neck with her boot heel.

One day, Mordin decides (s)he is never going to wear clothing ever again. 
My face:


And then Shepard died.  Jacob takes his/her place. *sigh* ..We're boned...

So let's say Shepard didn't die.  But during the final fight between you and Harbinger, Miranda swoops in and defeats him single handed. I never say another bad thing about women fighting in high heels ever again.

Finally, Wrex is dead. He was my friend *looks at his grave* Wrex.

*quietly from the grave* Shepard...

It's actually Joker, Grunt, and Liara that are dead. Legion is the killer. When asked why this happened Legion only responded "No data available."

I wrote a OTP fanfic based on Zaeed and Kasumi. The tile: DLC (Deep Looove Connection)