Shepard (an infiltrator) and his new LI Kasumi are having fun in the bar, when one drunkenly challenges the other to a game of hide-and-go-seek. They have not been seen since.
Shepard's disappearance led Miranda to believe he was dead (again). She collects all his stuff, hoping to be able to gather enough DNA off them to clone an entirely new Shepard. Months later, she gives the clone all the old Shepard's stuff.
During this time, Samara and Grunt have had a bouncing blue baby biotic! Clone Shepard resolves to teach it how to shoot a sniper rifle.
Speaking of sniper rifles, Garrus totally sent Shepard one! Wasn't that nice?
Meanwhile, Wrex beats the crap out of Tali in a fight.
Kasumi decides she's never going to wear clothes. No one notices, since she still refuses to turn off her cloaking. The original Shepard has to be out there somewhere!
Aw man, now the clone died. Garrus attempts to take his place, but is too distracted by calibrations to get anything done. Disgusted, Miranda goes to revive Shepard again.
Yeah, Shepard's back! Now to kick that jerk Harbinger right in the- Wait, Ashley!? What the heck! Shepard wasn't recreated three times for this. He shoots her and steals the credit.
"Thane's dead? What a twist."
Kaidan kills Legion, Liara, and Garrus, but Ashley kills Harbinger? He must have come back as a zombie.
Legion x Morinth: I should be able to think of a title, but I can't.
The Squadmate Shuffle
Débuté par
AdmiralCheez
, oct. 20 2011 12:49
Retour en haut
#27
Posté 20 octobre 2011 - 02:38
lazuli
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Zaeed and Shepard enjoyed some iced coffee at a socially conscious cafe and a sunset stroll through a residential neighborhood. Only Zaeed made it out alive.
Citing some obscure portion of the Justicar Code, Samara seized all of Shepard's personal belongings, leaving him dressed only slightly less modestly than the buxom asari.
Morinth is now pregnant, with a presumably dead Thane as the father. Looks like that's another child Thane will let down.
Shepard finds a present from Garrus. Inside the oversized box is nothing but a small envelope containing a short but sad letter: "Dear Shepard, why am I your least favorite LI? You love me in combat- why not the bedroom?"
Kaidan and Joker get in a fight after Joker removes his hat for the second time in the series, revealing not one but TWO hair bumps to rival Kaidan's trademark do. Kaidan like totally wins, but it's not a fair fight.
After recruiting Tali on Haestrom, Kasumi's clothes were irreparably burned, leaving her no choice but to resort to permanent nudity.
Shepard died of shock. After failing to resurrect him, Liara takes his place. Eh... it could be worse, right? No, probably not.
Wait! Shepard didn't die. In the final battle with Harbinger, Joker swooped in to save the day. Confused, Shepard asks, "So did you just let Kaidan beat you earlier?"
Although Shepard survived, Jack was slain. Shepard's response: "I'd miss you more if you didn't have Shockwave."
Just kidding. It was actually Liara, Zaeed, and Jack that died. Wait, oh. So not kidding after all. Hmm. Awkward. At any rate, Jacob killed them. Why? I have no idea. I wish he would have popped up earlier on this, like, say, for the permanent nudity one. But to each their own.
In my fanfic, Jacob and Kaidan fall in love... against all odds. Given their previous experience with female Shepard, I will title this masterpiece "Bisexual Biotics."
Citing some obscure portion of the Justicar Code, Samara seized all of Shepard's personal belongings, leaving him dressed only slightly less modestly than the buxom asari.
Morinth is now pregnant, with a presumably dead Thane as the father. Looks like that's another child Thane will let down.
Shepard finds a present from Garrus. Inside the oversized box is nothing but a small envelope containing a short but sad letter: "Dear Shepard, why am I your least favorite LI? You love me in combat- why not the bedroom?"
Kaidan and Joker get in a fight after Joker removes his hat for the second time in the series, revealing not one but TWO hair bumps to rival Kaidan's trademark do. Kaidan like totally wins, but it's not a fair fight.
After recruiting Tali on Haestrom, Kasumi's clothes were irreparably burned, leaving her no choice but to resort to permanent nudity.
Shepard died of shock. After failing to resurrect him, Liara takes his place. Eh... it could be worse, right? No, probably not.
Wait! Shepard didn't die. In the final battle with Harbinger, Joker swooped in to save the day. Confused, Shepard asks, "So did you just let Kaidan beat you earlier?"
Although Shepard survived, Jack was slain. Shepard's response: "I'd miss you more if you didn't have Shockwave."
Just kidding. It was actually Liara, Zaeed, and Jack that died. Wait, oh. So not kidding after all. Hmm. Awkward. At any rate, Jacob killed them. Why? I have no idea. I wish he would have popped up earlier on this, like, say, for the permanent nudity one. But to each their own.
In my fanfic, Jacob and Kaidan fall in love... against all odds. Given their previous experience with female Shepard, I will title this masterpiece "Bisexual Biotics."
Modifié par lazuli, 20 octobre 2011 - 02:38 .
#28
Guest_iOnlySignIn_*
Posté 20 octobre 2011 - 02:38
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Jack is my new LI. We land on a lush planet with blue skies, green grass, and gentle hills. I let her take the wheel of the Hammerhead. She runs over 227 shifty looking cows in 15 minutes, and executes a further 96 using the rocket launcher. Then we play Biotic volleyball using the dead cows. I let her win in a narrow victory of 31-29. We watch the sunset on the planet, firing our shotguns into the setting suns as fireworks (I have Inferno Ammo).
Tali suddenly hates me and stole all my stuff. I pretend not to notice. Then I rig the Normandy's news broadcast to repeat a piece of old news about Quarian thieves caught on the Citadel. Tali gets so ashamed that she gives all of my stuff back.
Samara is now pregnant. Miranda is the father. All crewmates congratulate the lucky couple, as their perfect blue babies will no doubt root out all injustices and simulataneously ensure Human dominance in the millenia to come. The bright future of the Galaxy is assured.
I go up to my cabin to find a gift-wrapped box. It's from Jack! It's a necklace she made from the eyeballs of the shifty looking cows we killed during out last hunting trip. How adorable! I put them on proudly. Grunt especially likes it, saying that it befits the dignity of a bloodthirsty Battlemaster.
Thane gets in a fight with Liara! Thane is angry because Liara refused to delete his entries in the Shadow Broker database. The fight evolves into a Warp contest. Liara gets the upperhand because she has better cooldown. Then Thane falls into a coughing fit and is rushed to the medbay. Liara is declared the winner and gets to keep her data.
One day, Ashley decides she is never going to wear clothing ever again.
And then Shepard died. Jacob takes her place. The Galaxy welcomes its new hero. The Reapers are defeated. OK seriously, Jacob is good. He may be bland, but he's a good man and a capable leader.
So let's say Shepard didn't die. But during the final fight between me and Harbinger, Wrex suddenly swoops in, defeats him single-handedly, and saves the day. I feel relieved and thankful and proud because Wrex is my bro and he deserves it! The Krogan Monument on the Citadel is remodeled into Wrex's exact likeness and Wrex is made into an honorary Spectre (with all its priviledges and none of its duties).
Finally, Jacob is dead. "Jacob, you're a good man and a capable leader, but you're always rushing forward to get yourself pwned. Seriously why do you do it? What do you have to prove? All you needed to do is take off your shirt and no woman will be able to resist you. Instead, now no one can lay their hands on the priiiiize."
Just kidding. It's actually Tali, Grunt, and Joker are dead. The killer? Tali! Tali had a suit rupture which she didn't repair in time. Then she got infected with rabies, and miscalibrated the shuttle that she, Grunt, and Joker are using on a side mission. They didn't notice anything wrong with her because the mask hid her rabid expression. They all crashed into a mountain during landing.
Okay, we're done. But before I go, let's say I decide to write a fanfic. Grunt and Garrus is my OTP. The title of this atrocity is: "I HATE Turians - the best defensive team gets offensive".
Tali suddenly hates me and stole all my stuff. I pretend not to notice. Then I rig the Normandy's news broadcast to repeat a piece of old news about Quarian thieves caught on the Citadel. Tali gets so ashamed that she gives all of my stuff back.
Samara is now pregnant. Miranda is the father. All crewmates congratulate the lucky couple, as their perfect blue babies will no doubt root out all injustices and simulataneously ensure Human dominance in the millenia to come. The bright future of the Galaxy is assured.
I go up to my cabin to find a gift-wrapped box. It's from Jack! It's a necklace she made from the eyeballs of the shifty looking cows we killed during out last hunting trip. How adorable! I put them on proudly. Grunt especially likes it, saying that it befits the dignity of a bloodthirsty Battlemaster.
Thane gets in a fight with Liara! Thane is angry because Liara refused to delete his entries in the Shadow Broker database. The fight evolves into a Warp contest. Liara gets the upperhand because she has better cooldown. Then Thane falls into a coughing fit and is rushed to the medbay. Liara is declared the winner and gets to keep her data.
One day, Ashley decides she is never going to wear clothing ever again.
And then Shepard died. Jacob takes her place. The Galaxy welcomes its new hero. The Reapers are defeated. OK seriously, Jacob is good. He may be bland, but he's a good man and a capable leader.
So let's say Shepard didn't die. But during the final fight between me and Harbinger, Wrex suddenly swoops in, defeats him single-handedly, and saves the day. I feel relieved and thankful and proud because Wrex is my bro and he deserves it! The Krogan Monument on the Citadel is remodeled into Wrex's exact likeness and Wrex is made into an honorary Spectre (with all its priviledges and none of its duties).
Finally, Jacob is dead. "Jacob, you're a good man and a capable leader, but you're always rushing forward to get yourself pwned. Seriously why do you do it? What do you have to prove? All you needed to do is take off your shirt and no woman will be able to resist you. Instead, now no one can lay their hands on the priiiiize."
Just kidding. It's actually Tali, Grunt, and Joker are dead. The killer? Tali! Tali had a suit rupture which she didn't repair in time. Then she got infected with rabies, and miscalibrated the shuttle that she, Grunt, and Joker are using on a side mission. They didn't notice anything wrong with her because the mask hid her rabid expression. They all crashed into a mountain during landing.
Okay, we're done. But before I go, let's say I decide to write a fanfic. Grunt and Garrus is my OTP. The title of this atrocity is: "I HATE Turians - the best defensive team gets offensive".
#29
Posté 20 octobre 2011 - 02:42
Shepard's_Fist
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Awesome thread Cheez
MORINTH This teammate is your new LI. Tell me about a romantic evening you two had together.
Took her out to a re-release of Vaenia followed by dancing at Afterlife. Things were going well until I realized I was on a date with a murdering psychopath! I told her I was going to get drinks and snuck out the back.
GARRUS This teammate suddenly hates you and decided to steal all your stuff. How do you get it back?
I beat him in hand to hand sparring.
WREX is now pregnant. Ignore science. KASUMI is the father. Reaction.
You go up to your cabin to find a gift-wrapped box. It's from WREX. What's in it?
The 1,000 baby bonnets I gave him at his baby shower. Guess he didn't like them
GRUNT gets in a fight with WREX. Who wins?
Wrex because the pregnancy hormones turn him into an completely unstoppable force!
One day, JACOB decides (s)he is never going to wear clothing ever again. Yourfacewhen.jpg.
And then Shepard died. LIARA takes his/her place. Okay, let's be honest, how screwed is the galaxy?
Well considering she's the Shadow Broker and she once saved Shep's life, I'm not sure anyone else is more capable.
So let's say Shepard didn't die. But during the final fight between you and Harbinger, MORINTH suddenly swoops in, defeats him single-handedly, and saves the day. How do you feel about that?
Now I feel really bad about ditching her at Afterlife.
Finally, TALI is dead. Write something nice to say at his/her funeral.
Your legacy will live on in the form of a fanboy rage storm that will never cease. The ones I feel sorry for are the poor souls at Bioware Edmonton that will face their wrath.
Just kidding. It's actually GARRUS, SAMARA, and Zaeed who are dead. The killer? MORINTH. Now, how the hell did this happen?
What the hell Morinth are with me or against me!? Well Samara obviously died while recruiting her. I'm guessing after destroying Harbinger Morinth decided to have some fun by seducing and killing Garrus. Zaeed, hoping Garrus would help him calibrate his rifle walked in on the aftermath. Morinth overwhelmed Zaeed and killed him as well before I walked in and put a round in her skull, ending her reign of terror. She will have a dual legacy: savior of the galaxy and the greatest serial killer ever known. IRONY!
Okay, we're done. But before I let you go, let's say you decided to write a fanfic. LEGION and JACK is your OTP (one true pairing). What is the title of this atrocity?
"There was a Hole."
*edit* fixed gifs
MORINTH This teammate is your new LI. Tell me about a romantic evening you two had together.
Took her out to a re-release of Vaenia followed by dancing at Afterlife. Things were going well until I realized I was on a date with a murdering psychopath! I told her I was going to get drinks and snuck out the back.
GARRUS This teammate suddenly hates you and decided to steal all your stuff. How do you get it back?
I beat him in hand to hand sparring.
WREX is now pregnant. Ignore science. KASUMI is the father. Reaction.
You go up to your cabin to find a gift-wrapped box. It's from WREX. What's in it?
The 1,000 baby bonnets I gave him at his baby shower. Guess he didn't like them
GRUNT gets in a fight with WREX. Who wins?
Wrex because the pregnancy hormones turn him into an completely unstoppable force!
One day, JACOB decides (s)he is never going to wear clothing ever again. Yourfacewhen.jpg.
And then Shepard died. LIARA takes his/her place. Okay, let's be honest, how screwed is the galaxy?
Well considering she's the Shadow Broker and she once saved Shep's life, I'm not sure anyone else is more capable.
So let's say Shepard didn't die. But during the final fight between you and Harbinger, MORINTH suddenly swoops in, defeats him single-handedly, and saves the day. How do you feel about that?
Now I feel really bad about ditching her at Afterlife.
Finally, TALI is dead. Write something nice to say at his/her funeral.
Your legacy will live on in the form of a fanboy rage storm that will never cease. The ones I feel sorry for are the poor souls at Bioware Edmonton that will face their wrath.
Just kidding. It's actually GARRUS, SAMARA, and Zaeed who are dead. The killer? MORINTH. Now, how the hell did this happen?
What the hell Morinth are with me or against me!? Well Samara obviously died while recruiting her. I'm guessing after destroying Harbinger Morinth decided to have some fun by seducing and killing Garrus. Zaeed, hoping Garrus would help him calibrate his rifle walked in on the aftermath. Morinth overwhelmed Zaeed and killed him as well before I walked in and put a round in her skull, ending her reign of terror. She will have a dual legacy: savior of the galaxy and the greatest serial killer ever known. IRONY!
Okay, we're done. But before I let you go, let's say you decided to write a fanfic. LEGION and JACK is your OTP (one true pairing). What is the title of this atrocity?
"There was a Hole."
*edit* fixed gifs
Modifié par ShepherdsFist_1025, 20 octobre 2011 - 03:01 .
#30
Posté 20 octobre 2011 - 03:00
FeralEwok
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@iOnlySignIn
That face is priceless
That face is priceless
#31
Posté 20 octobre 2011 - 03:01
LuluMae
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Kaidan is my LI. We spent the night in watching the newest Blasto while assembling dorky model ships to add to my collection.
Mordin decided to steal my stuff. I unimaginatively had EDI lock down his lab until he returned it.
Ashley is pregnant with Garrus’ child. My reaction: Congratulations! I secretly hope it looks like Garrus because Turian faces are adorable.
I received a gift from Mordin. It contains the book, ointments, etc. included in the sex talk that I didn’t get before the suicide mission since Kaidan just now came back.
Jack gets in a fight with Morinth. I have no idea what happened… Ididn’t want anywhere near that fight but I haven’t seen Jack since.
Samara decides never towear clothes again. My face:
old lady?
Shepard dies and Morinth takes his/her place. The reapers arrive only to find nothing left to destroy.
Or not. Instead, Liara swoops in during Shepard’s final confrontation with Harbinger and saves the galaxy. My reaction: ‘Bout time someone else does something around here
Garrus is dead. He had a fatal allergic reaction to Ash after all. At least they got a kid out of the deal.
Tali, Kaidan, and Miranda are dead. Thane is the killer. Thane was examining the Cain because Shepard couldn’t get it working when he fell into one of his memories… he inadvertently got it working.
Jacob and Wrex are my fic’s OTP. The title: Tough Love (meh, I’m rubbish at coming up with titles)
Mordin decided to steal my stuff. I unimaginatively had EDI lock down his lab until he returned it.
Ashley is pregnant with Garrus’ child. My reaction: Congratulations! I secretly hope it looks like Garrus because Turian faces are adorable.
I received a gift from Mordin. It contains the book, ointments, etc. included in the sex talk that I didn’t get before the suicide mission since Kaidan just now came back.
Jack gets in a fight with Morinth. I have no idea what happened… Ididn’t want anywhere near that fight but I haven’t seen Jack since.
Samara decides never towear clothes again. My face:
old lady?Shepard dies and Morinth takes his/her place. The reapers arrive only to find nothing left to destroy.
Or not. Instead, Liara swoops in during Shepard’s final confrontation with Harbinger and saves the galaxy. My reaction: ‘Bout time someone else does something around here
Garrus is dead. He had a fatal allergic reaction to Ash after all. At least they got a kid out of the deal.
Tali, Kaidan, and Miranda are dead. Thane is the killer. Thane was examining the Cain because Shepard couldn’t get it working when he fell into one of his memories… he inadvertently got it working.
Jacob and Wrex are my fic’s OTP. The title: Tough Love (meh, I’m rubbish at coming up with titles)
Modifié par LuluMae, 20 octobre 2011 - 03:03 .
#32
Posté 20 octobre 2011 - 03:01
JeffZero
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Ashley and I are in the middle of passionate rifle-cleaning when we espy Garrus taking off in the Mako with my entire inventory, mumbling something about intense shooter combat. We take a cue from his rulebook by scoping and subsequently dropping the bastard.
Wrex is now pregnant. I ignore science. As fate would happen, Grunt is the father; quite frankly I'm not at all surprised.
Up in the cabin, a gift-wrapped box from none other than the Justicar herself, Samara, has been delivered. I check its contents and discover a very conservative suit of armor. Apparently there's been a misunderstanding; when I spoke of her need to cover those breasts I think she thought I was talking about me instead. Which is alarming. I'm male. But hey, Wrex is pregnant. Ignore science.
Lo and behold, Jack's gotten herself into a fight again. This time it's with Kasumi. Jack's biotics are no match for the thief, so she cuts her losses, turns invisible and knocks the tortured soul on her ass. Kasuming control.
One day, Kasumi decides she is never going to wear clothing again. Except nobody notices. LOL.
Shepard has ignored EDI's advice and cranked the difficulty up to Insanity mid-skirmish, dying instantly. Liara took his place, albeit reluctantly. Well at least she's more cunning, but playing the whole campaign on Casual is a bit boring.
Backtracking a bit, it turns out Shepard didn't die. I guess Cerberus played a part. Suddenly but inevitably, Joker swoops in to much applause. Conquering not one but two Reapers in visceral combat is no small order and I can't help but congratulate him.
Then Samara dies. I'm not very good at these things so I write something short and sweet. "Cleavage."
Psyche! Jacob, Garrus and Jacob are dead instead. Thanks a lot, Jacob. (What the hell.) Jacob must have taken his life in shame after killing the already-dead Garrus, no doubt taking Jacob with him in the process.
Wrex is now pregnant. I ignore science. As fate would happen, Grunt is the father; quite frankly I'm not at all surprised.
Up in the cabin, a gift-wrapped box from none other than the Justicar herself, Samara, has been delivered. I check its contents and discover a very conservative suit of armor. Apparently there's been a misunderstanding; when I spoke of her need to cover those breasts I think she thought I was talking about me instead. Which is alarming. I'm male. But hey, Wrex is pregnant. Ignore science.
Lo and behold, Jack's gotten herself into a fight again. This time it's with Kasumi. Jack's biotics are no match for the thief, so she cuts her losses, turns invisible and knocks the tortured soul on her ass. Kasuming control.
One day, Kasumi decides she is never going to wear clothing again. Except nobody notices. LOL.
Shepard has ignored EDI's advice and cranked the difficulty up to Insanity mid-skirmish, dying instantly. Liara took his place, albeit reluctantly. Well at least she's more cunning, but playing the whole campaign on Casual is a bit boring.
Backtracking a bit, it turns out Shepard didn't die. I guess Cerberus played a part. Suddenly but inevitably, Joker swoops in to much applause. Conquering not one but two Reapers in visceral combat is no small order and I can't help but congratulate him.
Then Samara dies. I'm not very good at these things so I write something short and sweet. "Cleavage."
Psyche! Jacob, Garrus and Jacob are dead instead. Thanks a lot, Jacob. (What the hell.) Jacob must have taken his life in shame after killing the already-dead Garrus, no doubt taking Jacob with him in the process.
Modifié par JeffZero, 20 octobre 2011 - 03:08 .
#33
Posté 20 octobre 2011 - 03:26
Calamity Abounds
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Romantic Night: Liara. Ah yes Liara. Well the two of us had never been to Kahje. The both of of us were very intrigued about the Hanar Opera House so naturally we bought tickets. The show began with 3 Hanar on the stage. "This ones story is that of love and loss..." The lights, the beautiful music it was amazing! Liara couldn't help but smile as she looked upon the performers. I on the other hand couldn't help but think about those occular implants Thane had mentioned. Curse my obsession with tech! After the show we rented a small boat and spent the rest of the night staring at the stars.
Hates/Steals: Zaeed. That hooligan! You touch Jessie one time ONE TIME, and he goes mad! I told him if he would give me my stuff back I'd tell him where Vido was hiding out. "Okay Shepard you got a deal!" Heh I told him I saw Vido in the airlock. Zaeedcicles anyone?
The Stork Is Here For: Miranda, Mordin. So guys Miri finally got prego just like she always wanted. The downside, it's Mordin's. Look I'm happy for Miranda and all but Mordin said he'd try me if he was interested in humans. I'm quite sad. However the best genes money can buy with the brains of a Salarian could be quite the advantage for the little guy. We'll just have to see how well those "good looking" genes work out for him. I am the very model of an abomination...
Gift From: Wrex. You know there's one thing I thought I'd never see in Wrex's hand...
No not that. Get the dirty thoughts out of your heads. It was a tiny gift wrapped in pink paper.
"Wrex?"
"Shepard."
"Wrex why did you bring me a pink box"
"I thought it was the way Human's gave gifts, It is dripping with the blood of a fallen enemy though, couldn't go all native."
"Well it doesn't have to be pink." *opens up the box* "A $20 giftcard to the Fishdog Foodshack!?" JOKER PREP THE SHUTTLE!
Liara Versus Morinth.
READY FIGHT!
Both: "EMBRACE ETERNITY"
Shepard "Awww yeeeah"
FINISH HER
Morinth WINS! FATALITY, FLAWLESS VICTORY
No Clothes For: Kasumi. (I love you random.org.)
http://t1.gstatic.co...miJ9QBVzu3iFnzw
D'oh mah gawd!
I can die a happy man now.
First things first though, I have to disable that cloaking device.
Shepard Dies, Up Next: Kaidan. Not my first choice but the galaxy is in good hands.
Not So Fast Harby Its: Tali.
Motherfu...
Here Lies: Garrus. Alas we lay to rest one of the greatest men I had ever come to know. He was just as handy at calibrating weapon systems as he was exploding heads with a sniper rifle. Oh that feeling he savored just before popping in his heat sink, just thinking about it gets me through my lonliest nights. I shall miss you Garrus and your reach.
TROLLED! RIP: Legion Thane and Jacob. Wanted For Murder: Grunt. I don't know what happened really, they were all playing scrabble. Jacob said something about Grunt's spelling of "tyrinosorusis wrex" Thane and Legion both chimed in after Grunt couldn't believe it and started yelling. next thing I know Jacob has no arms, Legion is a toaster and Thane... poor poor Thane. Grunt was beating him senseless with Jacob's missing limbs. Lets play something else.
My Fanfic: Samara and Joker. "Welcome to Shin Akiba, How may I help you?"
Hates/Steals: Zaeed. That hooligan! You touch Jessie one time ONE TIME, and he goes mad! I told him if he would give me my stuff back I'd tell him where Vido was hiding out. "Okay Shepard you got a deal!" Heh I told him I saw Vido in the airlock. Zaeedcicles anyone?
The Stork Is Here For: Miranda, Mordin. So guys Miri finally got prego just like she always wanted. The downside, it's Mordin's. Look I'm happy for Miranda and all but Mordin said he'd try me if he was interested in humans. I'm quite sad. However the best genes money can buy with the brains of a Salarian could be quite the advantage for the little guy. We'll just have to see how well those "good looking" genes work out for him. I am the very model of an abomination...
Gift From: Wrex. You know there's one thing I thought I'd never see in Wrex's hand...
No not that. Get the dirty thoughts out of your heads. It was a tiny gift wrapped in pink paper.
"Wrex?"
"Shepard."
"Wrex why did you bring me a pink box"
"I thought it was the way Human's gave gifts, It is dripping with the blood of a fallen enemy though, couldn't go all native."
"Well it doesn't have to be pink." *opens up the box* "A $20 giftcard to the Fishdog Foodshack!?" JOKER PREP THE SHUTTLE!
Liara Versus Morinth.
READY FIGHT!
Both: "EMBRACE ETERNITY"
Shepard "Awww yeeeah"
FINISH HER
Morinth WINS! FATALITY, FLAWLESS VICTORY
No Clothes For: Kasumi. (I love you random.org.)
http://t1.gstatic.co...miJ9QBVzu3iFnzw
D'oh mah gawd!
I can die a happy man now.
First things first though, I have to disable that cloaking device.
Shepard Dies, Up Next: Kaidan. Not my first choice but the galaxy is in good hands.
Not So Fast Harby Its: Tali.
Motherfu...Here Lies: Garrus. Alas we lay to rest one of the greatest men I had ever come to know. He was just as handy at calibrating weapon systems as he was exploding heads with a sniper rifle. Oh that feeling he savored just before popping in his heat sink, just thinking about it gets me through my lonliest nights. I shall miss you Garrus and your reach.
TROLLED! RIP: Legion Thane and Jacob. Wanted For Murder: Grunt. I don't know what happened really, they were all playing scrabble. Jacob said something about Grunt's spelling of "tyrinosorusis wrex" Thane and Legion both chimed in after Grunt couldn't believe it and started yelling. next thing I know Jacob has no arms, Legion is a toaster and Thane... poor poor Thane. Grunt was beating him senseless with Jacob's missing limbs. Lets play something else.
My Fanfic: Samara and Joker. "Welcome to Shin Akiba, How may I help you?"
Modifié par Calamity Abounds, 20 octobre 2011 - 04:38 .
#34
Posté 20 octobre 2011 - 03:36
CoffeeHolic93
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Ashley is my love interest, and I spent the night trying to get her to lighten up rather than being a snarky cynic. 
Legion stole my stuff? Ask him a riddle with no right answer and watch him build consensus.
Kasumi and pregnant and Mordin is the father? I know you said ignore science, but we all know that Mordin did it for SCIENCE!
I have this nagging feeling that the gift from Samara might have to do with me pushing a merc out a window.
Jack and Garrus fighting? Garrus would win.
Legion decides to never wear clothes again. DoesthismeanIgetmyarmorback?!.jpg
Jacob replaces Shepard. He could do it. The priiiiiiiize scares even the mightiest Reaper.
Grunt swoops in and steals Shepard's spotllight? That sounds...Strangely plausible.
Tali is dead, huh? "I will bludgeon many heretic geth to death in your honor miss'zorah."
Miranda, Thane and Grunt have been killed by Morinth....We all know how that happened...
DAMN YOU CHEEZ, I NEED BRAINBLEACH.
Tali and Zaeed? "Fighting geth is one hell of anesthetic"
Legion stole my stuff? Ask him a riddle with no right answer and watch him build consensus.
Kasumi and pregnant and Mordin is the father? I know you said ignore science, but we all know that Mordin did it for SCIENCE!
I have this nagging feeling that the gift from Samara might have to do with me pushing a merc out a window.
Jack and Garrus fighting? Garrus would win.
Legion decides to never wear clothes again. DoesthismeanIgetmyarmorback?!.jpg
Jacob replaces Shepard. He could do it. The priiiiiiiize scares even the mightiest Reaper.
Grunt swoops in and steals Shepard's spotllight? That sounds...Strangely plausible.
Tali is dead, huh? "I will bludgeon many heretic geth to death in your honor miss'zorah."
Miranda, Thane and Grunt have been killed by Morinth....We all know how that happened...
DAMN YOU CHEEZ, I NEED BRAINBLEACH.Tali and Zaeed? "Fighting geth is one hell of anesthetic"
Modifié par Mi-Chan, 20 octobre 2011 - 03:39 .
#35
Posté 20 octobre 2011 - 03:41
Axelstall
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1. Me and Tali go to a starcruiser show (similar to a car show)
2. Kasumi steals my new omni tool, I don't know her much so I just superglue her fingers together.
3. Wrex was impregnated by Joker my reaction "The F--k?"
4. Wrex leaves a present in my cabin, inside is a cake with "Happy Birthday Wrex" on it in icing.
5. Miranda gets in a fight with Jacob, Jacob wins but loses a foot.
6. Liara decides to never wear clothes again, O_O
7. Thane takes Shepards place, the galaxy has a 50/50 chance
8. Joker steals my game winning killcam. my personal feelings "SSSSEEEETTHH GGGRREEEEEEENNN!!!!!!!!"
9. Grunt dies, at his funeral, I say "Thank you grunt, you have done you duty well"
10. JK, Zaeed, Morinth and Jacob are dead who killed them? No surprise Joker. (He's everywhere these days)
11. Tali and Legion, the title: "The Incomplete Consensious." ( It's probably lame in bad a naming anything)
2. Kasumi steals my new omni tool, I don't know her much so I just superglue her fingers together.
3. Wrex was impregnated by Joker my reaction "The F--k?"
4. Wrex leaves a present in my cabin, inside is a cake with "Happy Birthday Wrex" on it in icing.
5. Miranda gets in a fight with Jacob, Jacob wins but loses a foot.
6. Liara decides to never wear clothes again, O_O
7. Thane takes Shepards place, the galaxy has a 50/50 chance
8. Joker steals my game winning killcam. my personal feelings "SSSSEEEETTHH GGGRREEEEEEENNN!!!!!!!!"
9. Grunt dies, at his funeral, I say "Thank you grunt, you have done you duty well"
10. JK, Zaeed, Morinth and Jacob are dead who killed them? No surprise Joker. (He's everywhere these days)
11. Tali and Legion, the title: "The Incomplete Consensious." ( It's probably lame in bad a naming anything)
#36
Posté 20 octobre 2011 - 03:53
Axelstall
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Had to do another.
1. Me and Grunt just finished beating the crud out of some turians when,
2. Joker, takes my shoes, I get back at him by, Giving EDI control of the ship. (In his face!)
3. Jacob is Pregnant, Joker is the father, my thoughts,(WTF again joker!? Seriously?)
4. Mordin gives me a gift, inside: A vial of the Genophage! (YAY!)
5. Kaiden fights with Jacob later over who's the Male human character. (Besides Shepard) Kaiden wins. (He's got seniority)
6. Kasumi never wears clothes again, My response: ^-^
7. Wrex takes Shepards place the galaxy Still a good chance. (unless there's more Genophage issues)
8. Joker decides to be a jerk and kill Harbinger, again: "SSEETTHH GGRREEEEEENNNNN!!!!!!!!!!"
9. Miranda's dead, my eulogy: "I should go"
10. JK Wrex,Thane and Ashley are dead Zaeed is to blame, he said it was a job.
11. Garrus and (strangely) Garrus The Title: "Two of a kind"
1. Me and Grunt just finished beating the crud out of some turians when,
2. Joker, takes my shoes, I get back at him by, Giving EDI control of the ship. (In his face!)
3. Jacob is Pregnant, Joker is the father, my thoughts,(WTF again joker!? Seriously?)
4. Mordin gives me a gift, inside: A vial of the Genophage! (YAY!)
5. Kaiden fights with Jacob later over who's the Male human character. (Besides Shepard) Kaiden wins. (He's got seniority)
6. Kasumi never wears clothes again, My response: ^-^
7. Wrex takes Shepards place the galaxy Still a good chance. (unless there's more Genophage issues)
8. Joker decides to be a jerk and kill Harbinger, again: "SSEETTHH GGRREEEEEENNNNN!!!!!!!!!!"
9. Miranda's dead, my eulogy: "I should go"
10. JK Wrex,Thane and Ashley are dead Zaeed is to blame, he said it was a job.
11. Garrus and (strangely) Garrus The Title: "Two of a kind"
#37
Posté 20 octobre 2011 - 03:59
DiebytheSword
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Couldn't help myself, here comes round two.
At first they said it couldn't work, but SUNSET EYES BLOCK MY SCOPE DEFIANTLY AS THANE PUTS THE SAFETY ON MY "RIFLE" TO OFF. I feel dirty, but I blame my body so my soul can fly free.
I go to the shower to wash it off, I'm not a man who digs alien men, its not me, its just the dialogue, I only wanted to be his friend. When I get out I see a note from Ash. My prothean relic is missing.
I'm enraged, saddened and confused, but I have to get the relic back if I want to beat the reapers. I head to Ash's quarters to find that she's placed the relic in a compromising position. Shep always gets what he wants. With the relic returned, Ash placated, and my identity restored, Thane cries queitly in the corner, remembering the betrayal in perfect memory.
Meanwhile, Kasumi is tired of stealing, she wants to win something . . . the priiiiiize. Jacob sires her children. Its all very touching and Kasumi manages to steal half of med bay from Dr. Chakwas. I foot the bill from Cerberus, thereby completeing the unborn's loyalty mission.
Kasumi's cool with it, and repays the debt by handing me a greybox with a little secret. I find out that Jacob and Legion are going to get it on in the crew deck. Legion wants Kasumi, presumably, she's stolen his heart, but Jacob is a man who wants his family to work, unlike his own with his dad. Legion cannot build concensus on a finishing move appropriate to the situation, giving Jacob the moment he needs. Jacob wins by technical knockout.
One day, Liara decides she is never going to wear clothing ever again. At first Kelly Chambers reminds her that this is against Cerberus dress code, but I tell her to belay that order because
Ash wasn't happy, and there was a tragic misfire on the shooting range. Garrus volunteers to take my place as chief ass whuper and general pain in the Reapers' collective asses. There's clever warehouse raids, Garrus snipes Harbinger's brother on the way to ReapMart. It gets personal. Before things can get to ugly though, Garrus uses his visor's special abilities to snipe my death in the face.
I come to the rescue for my brother from another species. But during the final fight between myself and Harbinger, Thane suddenly swoops in, defeats him single-handedly, and saves the day. At first I was like, "Hax". But then I realized that all the kinetic barriers in the universe can't stop a punch. When I confront him, my suspicions are confirmed. "I learned it while watching you, shia, I learned it from watching you." Liara nakedly comments on the situation, "He watched you defeat the Shadowbroker and copied your technique."
Of course, this emasculates me again. I cry in the shower, light my armor on fire, and remember the whole thing in perfect detail.
The gang gets me out of my funk by telling me that Kasumi has died. Jacob is heartbroken with their son, Prize-chan. I talk about the fragility of life, and how Kasumi will now listen in to all our business from heaven. It will be like she never left. Mainly because she was always cloaked. I will miss her ninja slippers.
In the end, its just a ruse! She runs to her family as Kelly Chamber's screams when there is a large explosion near the mess.
Miranda, Samara, and Grunt are dead. Zaeed saw Vido in the galley, and they didn't move fast enough from the explosion. I shoot Zaeed in the other eye. He turns towards me and reminds me that rage is a hell of an anesthetic.
Grunt and Morinth are the subject of a subsequent movie and book deal, "Hate sex, what a kick in the quad." A quirky tale of a serial killer and a blood thirsty Krogan bezerker and how Krogan love can thrive in the most inhospitable of places.
At first they said it couldn't work, but SUNSET EYES BLOCK MY SCOPE DEFIANTLY AS THANE PUTS THE SAFETY ON MY "RIFLE" TO OFF. I feel dirty, but I blame my body so my soul can fly free.
I go to the shower to wash it off, I'm not a man who digs alien men, its not me, its just the dialogue, I only wanted to be his friend. When I get out I see a note from Ash. My prothean relic is missing.
Skipper,
You know I'm not a fan of aliens, you made the wrong move bucko.
Cordially,
Operations Chief Williams
I'm enraged, saddened and confused, but I have to get the relic back if I want to beat the reapers. I head to Ash's quarters to find that she's placed the relic in a compromising position. Shep always gets what he wants. With the relic returned, Ash placated, and my identity restored, Thane cries queitly in the corner, remembering the betrayal in perfect memory.
Meanwhile, Kasumi is tired of stealing, she wants to win something . . . the priiiiiize. Jacob sires her children. Its all very touching and Kasumi manages to steal half of med bay from Dr. Chakwas. I foot the bill from Cerberus, thereby completeing the unborn's loyalty mission.
Kasumi's cool with it, and repays the debt by handing me a greybox with a little secret. I find out that Jacob and Legion are going to get it on in the crew deck. Legion wants Kasumi, presumably, she's stolen his heart, but Jacob is a man who wants his family to work, unlike his own with his dad. Legion cannot build concensus on a finishing move appropriate to the situation, giving Jacob the moment he needs. Jacob wins by technical knockout.
One day, Liara decides she is never going to wear clothing ever again. At first Kelly Chambers reminds her that this is against Cerberus dress code, but I tell her to belay that order because
Ash wasn't happy, and there was a tragic misfire on the shooting range. Garrus volunteers to take my place as chief ass whuper and general pain in the Reapers' collective asses. There's clever warehouse raids, Garrus snipes Harbinger's brother on the way to ReapMart. It gets personal. Before things can get to ugly though, Garrus uses his visor's special abilities to snipe my death in the face.
I come to the rescue for my brother from another species. But during the final fight between myself and Harbinger, Thane suddenly swoops in, defeats him single-handedly, and saves the day. At first I was like, "Hax". But then I realized that all the kinetic barriers in the universe can't stop a punch. When I confront him, my suspicions are confirmed. "I learned it while watching you, shia, I learned it from watching you." Liara nakedly comments on the situation, "He watched you defeat the Shadowbroker and copied your technique."
Of course, this emasculates me again. I cry in the shower, light my armor on fire, and remember the whole thing in perfect detail.
The gang gets me out of my funk by telling me that Kasumi has died. Jacob is heartbroken with their son, Prize-chan. I talk about the fragility of life, and how Kasumi will now listen in to all our business from heaven. It will be like she never left. Mainly because she was always cloaked. I will miss her ninja slippers.
In the end, its just a ruse! She runs to her family as Kelly Chamber's screams when there is a large explosion near the mess.
Miranda, Samara, and Grunt are dead. Zaeed saw Vido in the galley, and they didn't move fast enough from the explosion. I shoot Zaeed in the other eye. He turns towards me and reminds me that rage is a hell of an anesthetic.
Grunt and Morinth are the subject of a subsequent movie and book deal, "Hate sex, what a kick in the quad." A quirky tale of a serial killer and a blood thirsty Krogan bezerker and how Krogan love can thrive in the most inhospitable of places.
Modifié par DiebytheSword, 20 octobre 2011 - 04:03 .
#38
Posté 20 octobre 2011 - 04:02
keatyton
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Lots of gifs. deal with it. couldn't resist.
Tali decides to come up to my quarters to share a drink. Luckily, the liquor in my system helped her appear to be remotely interesting.
Ashley stole all my stuff. I took it back by force. FTB.
Morinth is knocked up. Mordin is the baby daddy. Not only did he survive, but Morinth says he's great in the sheets..
Kaidan left me a gift wrapped box of condoms. He's pretty blunt.
Liara and Zaeed threw down. We're still stitching him back together.
Grunt decided to be a free, naked krogan.
I died, and Legion took my place. I taught my baby well, don't worry.
Just as I'm about to die, Joker saves the day?!
Morinth, Legion, and Liara are now dead. Ashley killed them. How did it happen? She's a racist.
Oh, and I also decided to write a fanfic. Thane and Kaidan, as the lovers.
Tali decides to come up to my quarters to share a drink. Luckily, the liquor in my system helped her appear to be remotely interesting.
Ashley stole all my stuff. I took it back by force. FTB.
Morinth is knocked up. Mordin is the baby daddy. Not only did he survive, but Morinth says he's great in the sheets..
Kaidan left me a gift wrapped box of condoms. He's pretty blunt.
Liara and Zaeed threw down. We're still stitching him back together.
Grunt decided to be a free, naked krogan.
I died, and Legion took my place. I taught my baby well, don't worry.
Just as I'm about to die, Joker saves the day?!
Morinth, Legion, and Liara are now dead. Ashley killed them. How did it happen? She's a racist.
Oh, and I also decided to write a fanfic. Thane and Kaidan, as the lovers.
Modifié par keatyton, 20 octobre 2011 - 04:03 .
#39
Posté 20 octobre 2011 - 04:06
The Love Runner
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Ashley is my new love interest. We spend the day together on Ilos, feeding the animals at the Alliance Zoo.
Garrus now hates me, takes my stuff, and I tell him to return it or else he will lose his calibrating license across the galaxy.
Mordin is now pregnant, and Tali is responsible? implications Unpleasant.
The gift from Jacob turns out to be a prize...
Jack gets in a fight with Tali, but Tali survives the fight.
Morinth never wears clothes again. Well, I did pick Samara...
Joker takes Shepard's place. Freak-out Mode is engaged...
If Shepard didn't die, Joker still pitches in and saves the galaxy. Shepard asks, "Are you on steroids, Joker?"
Morinth is dead. Well, I did pick Samara...
Zaeed, Grunt, and Liara also turn out to be dead. The killer is Thane. It turned out that he found Joker's pile of steroids...
Jack and Grunt are in a story entitled "The Spell of Rage".
Garrus now hates me, takes my stuff, and I tell him to return it or else he will lose his calibrating license across the galaxy.
Mordin is now pregnant, and Tali is responsible? implications Unpleasant.
The gift from Jacob turns out to be a prize...
Jack gets in a fight with Tali, but Tali survives the fight.
Morinth never wears clothes again. Well, I did pick Samara...
Joker takes Shepard's place. Freak-out Mode is engaged...
If Shepard didn't die, Joker still pitches in and saves the galaxy. Shepard asks, "Are you on steroids, Joker?"
Morinth is dead. Well, I did pick Samara...
Zaeed, Grunt, and Liara also turn out to be dead. The killer is Thane. It turned out that he found Joker's pile of steroids...
Jack and Grunt are in a story entitled "The Spell of Rage".
#40
Posté 20 octobre 2011 - 04:40
gosimmons
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Ashley new Li. We'll spend the night on the battlefield, which is attractive in its own right.
Joker stole my stuff. Proceed to turn his chair on auto-spin.
Zaeed...Kasumi.. Did things. Repressing.
Gift from Mordin. Sex advice pamphlets? >>
Miranda gets in a fight with Ashley. It's a tossup..
Ashley can probably take more damage overall.
Kaidan decided to stop wearing clothes. I suddenly started to avoid the lower deck.
Samara takes my place? In a war like this, the code needs to take a seat.
Liara beats Harbinger. We all knew a little plot armor would pay off.
Legion is dead. Eulogy. *ahem*
Your basic Geth platform is made of an iron-osmium alloy. But Legion was different. He had an 0.04% nickel impurity.
Wrex and two Legion platforms are dead. Joker done it.
I'll have to think about this one... Airlock malfunction? A sharp turn gone terribly wrong?
And lastly, Jacob/Joker shipping.
Joker stole my stuff. Proceed to turn his chair on auto-spin.
Zaeed...Kasumi.. Did things. Repressing.
Gift from Mordin. Sex advice pamphlets? >>
Miranda gets in a fight with Ashley. It's a tossup..
Ashley can probably take more damage overall.
Kaidan decided to stop wearing clothes. I suddenly started to avoid the lower deck.
Samara takes my place? In a war like this, the code needs to take a seat.
Liara beats Harbinger. We all knew a little plot armor would pay off.
Legion is dead. Eulogy. *ahem*
Your basic Geth platform is made of an iron-osmium alloy. But Legion was different. He had an 0.04% nickel impurity.
Wrex and two Legion platforms are dead. Joker done it.
I'll have to think about this one... Airlock malfunction? A sharp turn gone terribly wrong?
And lastly, Jacob/Joker shipping.
Modifié par gosimmons, 20 octobre 2011 - 04:40 .
#41
Posté 20 octobre 2011 - 04:49
GodzillavsJason
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I'll give this a try sorry if i don't come up with any good names for anything.
Tali This teammate is your new LI. Tell me about a romantic evening you two had together. Tali and I had a great time. First we went dinning in Red Salarian(Red Lobster Parody) we had great Salarian (Mordin fainted when we told him that), we then saw a movie called Geth (Terminator Parody, Geth played by Arnold govener can't spell his last name), then we went to space Wal-Mart and bought some things, then we just cuddled together in the bed in the captain's quarters watching some japanese Godzilla movies.
Jack This teammate suddenly hates you and decided to steal all your stuff. How do you get it back? Jack steals my stuff, I get pissed off. Me, Grunt, and Garrus all hunt her down and kill her very slowly and painfully.
Morinth is now pregnant. Ignore science. Morinth is the father. Reaction. WTF!?!?! Shes Asexual! Everybody is scared and backaway very slowly
You go up to your cabin to find a gift-wrapped box. It's from Thane. What's in it? I open the present from Thane and see that its the costume for the Spy from Team Fortress 2. I think its awesome, i put it on and spy on Kasumi.
Wrex gets in a fight with Legion . Who wins? I enter the AI Core seeing Wrex pointing a gun at Legion for attempting to send information on the Krogan to the Geth. I suggest a dance off in the AI core with flashing lights. the two dance off. after a long battle Legion wins by never running out of stamina.
One day, Kaidan decides (s)he is never going to wear clothing ever again.
And then Shepard died. Joker takes his/her place. Okay, let's be honest, how screwed is the galaxy? Oh god! Putting the galaxy in the hands of a crippled man! We're all doomed! DOOMED!!!!!!!!!!!!
So let's say Shepard didn't die. But during the final fight between you and Harbinger, Tali suddenly swoops in, defeats him single-handedly, and saves the day. How do you feel about that? I give her a big bear hug, build her a house on Rannoch, and anything else that will make my favorite Quarian happy.
Finally, Wrex is dead. Write something nice to say at his/her funeral. Well least you died with dignity during the dance battle with legion.
Just kidding. It's actually Thane, Kaidan and Mordin are dead. The killer? .Zaeed Now, how the hell did this happen?
Zaeed was tired of Kaidan streaking and shot him in the head, Thane was complaing on how his life is terible and Zaeed got annoyed by it and killed him, Mordin questions how Zaeed and Jessie could be in a relationship so Zaeed kills Mordin.
Okay, we're done. But before I let you go, let's say you decided to write a fanfic. Miranda and Garrus is your OTP (one true pairing). What is the title of this atrocity? Calibrations in Dat ass!
Tali This teammate is your new LI. Tell me about a romantic evening you two had together. Tali and I had a great time. First we went dinning in Red Salarian(Red Lobster Parody) we had great Salarian (Mordin fainted when we told him that), we then saw a movie called Geth (Terminator Parody, Geth played by Arnold govener can't spell his last name), then we went to space Wal-Mart and bought some things, then we just cuddled together in the bed in the captain's quarters watching some japanese Godzilla movies.
Jack This teammate suddenly hates you and decided to steal all your stuff. How do you get it back? Jack steals my stuff, I get pissed off. Me, Grunt, and Garrus all hunt her down and kill her very slowly and painfully.
Morinth is now pregnant. Ignore science. Morinth is the father. Reaction. WTF!?!?! Shes Asexual! Everybody is scared and backaway very slowly
You go up to your cabin to find a gift-wrapped box. It's from Thane. What's in it? I open the present from Thane and see that its the costume for the Spy from Team Fortress 2. I think its awesome, i put it on and spy on Kasumi.
Wrex gets in a fight with Legion . Who wins? I enter the AI Core seeing Wrex pointing a gun at Legion for attempting to send information on the Krogan to the Geth. I suggest a dance off in the AI core with flashing lights. the two dance off. after a long battle Legion wins by never running out of stamina.
One day, Kaidan decides (s)he is never going to wear clothing ever again.
And then Shepard died. Joker takes his/her place. Okay, let's be honest, how screwed is the galaxy? Oh god! Putting the galaxy in the hands of a crippled man! We're all doomed! DOOMED!!!!!!!!!!!!
So let's say Shepard didn't die. But during the final fight between you and Harbinger, Tali suddenly swoops in, defeats him single-handedly, and saves the day. How do you feel about that? I give her a big bear hug, build her a house on Rannoch, and anything else that will make my favorite Quarian happy.
Finally, Wrex is dead. Write something nice to say at his/her funeral. Well least you died with dignity during the dance battle with legion.
Just kidding. It's actually Thane, Kaidan and Mordin are dead. The killer? .Zaeed Now, how the hell did this happen?
Zaeed was tired of Kaidan streaking and shot him in the head, Thane was complaing on how his life is terible and Zaeed got annoyed by it and killed him, Mordin questions how Zaeed and Jessie could be in a relationship so Zaeed kills Mordin.
Okay, we're done. But before I let you go, let's say you decided to write a fanfic. Miranda and Garrus is your OTP (one true pairing). What is the title of this atrocity? Calibrations in Dat ass!
Modifié par GodzillavsJason, 20 octobre 2011 - 04:51 .
#42
Posté 20 octobre 2011 - 05:12
CuseGirl
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Kaiden. This teammate is your new LI. Tell me about a romantic evening you two had together.
Sigh.....it wasn't very romantic...it was an odd reunion, a little anger, resentment but oh I missed him....my commitment to Cerberus left us with barely anytime to speak, especialyl with the Preatorian cleanup....
Samara suddenly hates you and decided to steal all your stuff. How do you get it back?
I pissed of Samara after detonating a bomb next to a Reaper artifact. She felt there other options.....Because of her code, she's not allowed to eliminate me but it says nothing of "practical jokes". At first it was small, my archon visor disappearing and reappearing on Grunt's stomach during his afternoon nap. That was hard to retrieve. Then my bedsheets tied to the modular probe bay. Pretty soon I was running missions in my officers uniform. I'm no fool....I had Miranda resolve the issue.
Jack is now pregnant. Ignore science. Morinth is the father. Reaction.
How the fck did Jack sleep with Morinth, not die, get frozen on Purgatory, and keep the fetus during our missions. Modern technology man......
You go up to your cabin to find a gift-wrapped box. It's from Morinth. What's in it?
Why would they deliver Jack's baby shower gift to me?
Garrus gets in a fight with Miranda. Who wins?
Garrus had reach but Miranda had flexibility and she didn't let it go 9 rounds....
One day, Kasumi decides (s)he is never going to wear clothing ever again.
And then Shepard died. Mordin takes his/her place. Okay, let's be honest, how screwed is the galaxy? Too many variables, too many variables...
So let's say Shepard didn't die. But during the final fight between you and Harbinger, Garrus suddenly swoops in, defeats him single-handedly, and saves the day. How do you feel about that?
I feel like he's been waiting for this for a long time, jelous SOB.
Finally, Liara is dead. Write something nice to say at his/her funeral.
Well, this one time, when we mind-melded......
Just kidding. It's actually Liara, Wrex, and Thane who are dead. The killer? Kaiden. Now, how the hell did this happen?
Kaiden, the VS I thought I loved betrayed me and my whole crew. And citing some crap about the Alliance in his blood. I call bull, he took his Spectre status a little too far.
Okay, we're done. But before I let you go, let's say you decided to write a fanfic. Legion and Jack is your OTP (one true pairing). What is the title of this atrocity?
"Hey, Shepard-Commander"
Sigh.....it wasn't very romantic...it was an odd reunion, a little anger, resentment but oh I missed him....my commitment to Cerberus left us with barely anytime to speak, especialyl with the Preatorian cleanup....
Samara suddenly hates you and decided to steal all your stuff. How do you get it back?
I pissed of Samara after detonating a bomb next to a Reaper artifact. She felt there other options.....Because of her code, she's not allowed to eliminate me but it says nothing of "practical jokes". At first it was small, my archon visor disappearing and reappearing on Grunt's stomach during his afternoon nap. That was hard to retrieve. Then my bedsheets tied to the modular probe bay. Pretty soon I was running missions in my officers uniform. I'm no fool....I had Miranda resolve the issue.
Jack is now pregnant. Ignore science. Morinth is the father. Reaction.
How the fck did Jack sleep with Morinth, not die, get frozen on Purgatory, and keep the fetus during our missions. Modern technology man......
You go up to your cabin to find a gift-wrapped box. It's from Morinth. What's in it?
Why would they deliver Jack's baby shower gift to me?
Garrus gets in a fight with Miranda. Who wins?
Garrus had reach but Miranda had flexibility and she didn't let it go 9 rounds....
One day, Kasumi decides (s)he is never going to wear clothing ever again.
And then Shepard died. Mordin takes his/her place. Okay, let's be honest, how screwed is the galaxy? Too many variables, too many variables...
So let's say Shepard didn't die. But during the final fight between you and Harbinger, Garrus suddenly swoops in, defeats him single-handedly, and saves the day. How do you feel about that?
I feel like he's been waiting for this for a long time, jelous SOB.
Finally, Liara is dead. Write something nice to say at his/her funeral.
Well, this one time, when we mind-melded......
Just kidding. It's actually Liara, Wrex, and Thane who are dead. The killer? Kaiden. Now, how the hell did this happen?
Kaiden, the VS I thought I loved betrayed me and my whole crew. And citing some crap about the Alliance in his blood. I call bull, he took his Spectre status a little too far.
Okay, we're done. But before I let you go, let's say you decided to write a fanfic. Legion and Jack is your OTP (one true pairing). What is the title of this atrocity?
"Hey, Shepard-Commander"
#43
Posté 20 octobre 2011 - 05:36
Pax of Doom
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Zaeed and Vyan Shepard had a wonderful time, until Zaeed opened his mouth. See, he compared her to Jesse, then Vido. She said he didn't "measure up" to her Kessler Mk1 pistol, if you know what I mean. Then the appetizers came...
[quote]GENERATE! This teammate suddenly hates you and decided to steal all your stuff. How do you get it back?[/quote]
Morinth, in a fit of jealous rage, decided to steal everything. She gets a call from her mother, the Justicar. Items returned.
[quote]GENERATE! is now pregnant. Ignore science. GENERATE! is the father. Reaction.[/quote]
Samara is pregnant by Mordin. She gives birth to a litter of hyperactive Ardat-Yakshi. This is self-correcting, as they'd rather run experiments than "embrace eternity". Ardat-Yakshis are now cured. Everyone does a happy cloaca dance.
[quote]You go up to your cabin to find a gift-wrapped box. It's from GENERATE!. What's in it?[/quote]
Miranda left Shepard a lovely parting gift: the pass codes to TIM's secret base. And a bottle of perfume. Should Shepard be offended? Doesn't she think Shep can find the codes on her own?
[quote]GENERATE! gets in a fight with GENERATE!. Who wins?[/quote]
Garrus vs. Grunt. This is not Shepard's idea of fun. All the pillows from the Normandy are de-fluffed. EDI's complaining about fibers jamming her sensors. It looks like the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man vomited all over the lower decks.
[quote]One day, GENERATE! decides (s)he is never going to wear clothing ever again. Yourfacewhen.jpg.[/quote]
Ash goes hippie nudist. Not my cup of tea, but more power to her. That armor works for Miranda and Jack too.
[quote]And then Shepard died. GENERATE! takes his/her place. Okay, let's be honest, how screwed is the galaxy?[/quote]
Thane succeeds Shepard as galactic savior. He dies a few months later of Kerpal's syndrome. The facepalming on worlds cause seismic events that last generations. As a side effect, the concussive wave of them blasts the Reapers out of the sky. Yay!
{quoteSo let's say Shepard didn't die. But during the final fight between you and Harbinger, GENERATE! suddenly swoops in, defeats him single-handedly, and saves the day. How do you feel about that?[/quote]
Wrex comes down, headbutts Harby, looks at the party. You know what he says next? "Would you have any Grey Pupon?" What, you think he'd say "Shepard"?
[quote]Finally, GENERATE! is dead. Write something nice to say at his/her funeral.[/quote]
We gather here today to mourn the passing of Jacob Taylor. the Lando Calrissian of the Mass Effect universe. Sleep well good sir, may the voice of Billy Dee himself sing you to your rest. /pours out a Colt 45
[quote]Just kidding. It's actually GENERATE!, GENERATE!, and GENERATE! who are dead. The killer? GENERATE!. Now, how the hell did this happen?[/quote]
Wrex, Thane & Legion lie dead and gone by Jack's hand. Believe it or not, it was cellulitis due to cat scratch fever (my new cat's name is Jack, no he's not like Subject Zero, except around our other cat named Jacob).
[quote]Okay, we're done. But before I let you go, let's say you decided to write a fanfic. GENERATE! and GENERATE! is your OTP (one true pairing). What is the title of this atrocity?[/quote]
Morinth & Samara in "Every Schoolboy's Fantasy".
OP, I love you and I love this! Have to do one more!
[quote]GENERATE! This teammate suddenly hates you and decided to steal all your stuff. How do you get it back?[/quote]
Morinth, in a fit of jealous rage, decided to steal everything. She gets a call from her mother, the Justicar. Items returned.
[quote]GENERATE! is now pregnant. Ignore science. GENERATE! is the father. Reaction.[/quote]
Samara is pregnant by Mordin. She gives birth to a litter of hyperactive Ardat-Yakshi. This is self-correcting, as they'd rather run experiments than "embrace eternity". Ardat-Yakshis are now cured. Everyone does a happy cloaca dance.
[quote]You go up to your cabin to find a gift-wrapped box. It's from GENERATE!. What's in it?[/quote]
Miranda left Shepard a lovely parting gift: the pass codes to TIM's secret base. And a bottle of perfume. Should Shepard be offended? Doesn't she think Shep can find the codes on her own?
[quote]GENERATE! gets in a fight with GENERATE!. Who wins?[/quote]
Garrus vs. Grunt. This is not Shepard's idea of fun. All the pillows from the Normandy are de-fluffed. EDI's complaining about fibers jamming her sensors. It looks like the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man vomited all over the lower decks.
[quote]One day, GENERATE! decides (s)he is never going to wear clothing ever again. Yourfacewhen.jpg.[/quote]
Ash goes hippie nudist.
Not my cup of tea, but more power to her. That armor works for Miranda and Jack too.[quote]And then Shepard died. GENERATE! takes his/her place. Okay, let's be honest, how screwed is the galaxy?[/quote]
Thane succeeds Shepard as galactic savior. He dies a few months later of Kerpal's syndrome. The facepalming on worlds cause seismic events that last generations. As a side effect, the concussive wave of them blasts the Reapers out of the sky. Yay!
{quoteSo let's say Shepard didn't die. But during the final fight between you and Harbinger, GENERATE! suddenly swoops in, defeats him single-handedly, and saves the day. How do you feel about that?[/quote]
Wrex comes down, headbutts Harby, looks at the party. You know what he says next? "Would you have any Grey Pupon?" What, you think he'd say "Shepard"?
[quote]Finally, GENERATE! is dead. Write something nice to say at his/her funeral.[/quote]
We gather here today to mourn the passing of Jacob Taylor. the Lando Calrissian of the Mass Effect universe. Sleep well good sir, may the voice of Billy Dee himself sing you to your rest. /pours out a Colt 45
[quote]Just kidding. It's actually GENERATE!, GENERATE!, and GENERATE! who are dead. The killer? GENERATE!. Now, how the hell did this happen?[/quote]
Wrex, Thane & Legion lie dead and gone by Jack's hand. Believe it or not, it was cellulitis due to cat scratch fever (my new cat's name is Jack, no he's not like Subject Zero, except around our other cat named Jacob).
[quote]Okay, we're done. But before I let you go, let's say you decided to write a fanfic. GENERATE! and GENERATE! is your OTP (one true pairing). What is the title of this atrocity?[/quote]
Morinth & Samara in "Every Schoolboy's Fantasy".
OP, I love you and I love this! Have to do one more!
Modifié par Pax of Doom, 20 octobre 2011 - 05:40 .
#44
Posté 20 octobre 2011 - 06:13
Pax of Doom
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[quote]GENERATE! This teammate is your new LI. Tell me about a romantic evening you two had together.
Kasumi and a very forward-thinking femShep go for ramen. Slurping noodles, eating tuna rolls, playing with bento boxes. It was lovely. Then she disappeared.
[quote]GENERATE! This teammate suddenly hates you and decided to steal all your stuff. How do you get it back?[/quote]
Kaidan stole all of Shepard's clothes! That rascal. She decides to steal his and wear them. If someone has to be nekkid on the Normandy, it sure ain't gonna be Shepard.
[quote]GENERATE! is now pregnant. Ignore science. GENERATE! is the father. Reaction.[/quote]
Grunt is pregnant with Liara's baby. Im sure Joker has a video of this somewhere...
[quote]You go up to your cabin to find a gift-wrapped box. It's from GENERATE!. What's in it?[/quote]
Jack left me an empty box. She didn't have time to hijack a space station or slaughter random people. She's a busy gal, you know?
[quote]GENERATE! gets in a fight with GENERATE!. Who wins?[/quote]
Jack and Legion. B***ches get stitches.
[quote]One day, GENERATE! decides (s)he is never going to wear clothing ever again. Yourfacewhen.jpg.[/quote]
Tali goes streaking through the Normandy, right into the infirmary. My reaction found here: www.youtube.com/watch
[quote]And then Shepard died. GENERATE! takes his/her place. Okay, let's be honest, how screwed is the galaxy?[/quote]
Jacob, lead us to salvation! The thought on everyone's mind? We're all gonna die!!!!!!!!!!!!!
[quote]So let's say Shepard didn't die. But during the final fight between you and Harbinger, GENERATE! suddenly swoops in, defeats him single-handedly, and saves the day. How do you feel about that?[/quote]
In truth, it wasn't Tali who saved the galaxy that day. Chiktikka vas Paus' brave optics attack brought the Reapers to their knees.
[quote]Finally, GENERATE! is dead. Write something nice to say at his/her funeral.[/quote]
Here lies Lt. Jeff Moreau, Joker to his friends. A great pilot, a good friend, and the best damn c**kblocker in the galaxy. Never again will Kaidan say "Joker'swaitingforyouonthebridge" without a tear in his eye.
[quote]Just kidding. It's actually GENERATE!, GENERATE!, and GENERATE! who are dead. The killer? GENERATE!. Now, how the hell did this happen?[/quote]
Grunt, Thane and Jacob were riding in the Mako. Unfortunately, Garrus was too busy doing "calibrations" to fix that right front tire.
[quote]Okay, we're done. But before I let you go, let's say you decided to write a fanfic. GENERATE! and GENERATE! is your OTP (one true pairing). What is the title of this atrocity?[/quote]
Joker & Jacob: Flying the Beast with two Gernsbacks
Kasumi and a very forward-thinking femShep go for ramen. Slurping noodles, eating tuna rolls, playing with bento boxes. It was lovely. Then she disappeared.
[quote]GENERATE! This teammate suddenly hates you and decided to steal all your stuff. How do you get it back?[/quote]
Kaidan stole all of Shepard's clothes! That rascal. She decides to steal his and wear them. If someone has to be nekkid on the Normandy, it sure ain't gonna be Shepard.
[quote]GENERATE! is now pregnant. Ignore science. GENERATE! is the father. Reaction.[/quote]
Grunt is pregnant with Liara's baby. Im sure Joker has a video of this somewhere...
[quote]You go up to your cabin to find a gift-wrapped box. It's from GENERATE!. What's in it?[/quote]
Jack left me an empty box. She didn't have time to hijack a space station or slaughter random people. She's a busy gal, you know?
[quote]GENERATE! gets in a fight with GENERATE!. Who wins?[/quote]
Jack and Legion. B***ches get stitches.
[quote]One day, GENERATE! decides (s)he is never going to wear clothing ever again. Yourfacewhen.jpg.[/quote]
Tali goes streaking through the Normandy, right into the infirmary. My reaction found here: www.youtube.com/watch
[quote]And then Shepard died. GENERATE! takes his/her place. Okay, let's be honest, how screwed is the galaxy?[/quote]
Jacob, lead us to salvation! The thought on everyone's mind? We're all gonna die!!!!!!!!!!!!!
[quote]So let's say Shepard didn't die. But during the final fight between you and Harbinger, GENERATE! suddenly swoops in, defeats him single-handedly, and saves the day. How do you feel about that?[/quote]
In truth, it wasn't Tali who saved the galaxy that day. Chiktikka vas Paus' brave optics attack brought the Reapers to their knees.
[quote]Finally, GENERATE! is dead. Write something nice to say at his/her funeral.[/quote]
Here lies Lt. Jeff Moreau, Joker to his friends. A great pilot, a good friend, and the best damn c**kblocker in the galaxy. Never again will Kaidan say "Joker'swaitingforyouonthebridge" without a tear in his eye.
[quote]Just kidding. It's actually GENERATE!, GENERATE!, and GENERATE! who are dead. The killer? GENERATE!. Now, how the hell did this happen?[/quote]
Grunt, Thane and Jacob were riding in the Mako. Unfortunately, Garrus was too busy doing "calibrations" to fix that right front tire.
[quote]Okay, we're done. But before I let you go, let's say you decided to write a fanfic. GENERATE! and GENERATE! is your OTP (one true pairing). What is the title of this atrocity?[/quote]
Joker & Jacob: Flying the Beast with two Gernsbacks
Modifié par Pax of Doom, 20 octobre 2011 - 06:13 .
#45
Posté 20 octobre 2011 - 06:15
CptData
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Morinth is my Shepard's new LI. Both had a great evening, but Shepard died.Think of it as Mad Libs, but on crack. With Mass Effect. So when I say GENERATE!, you hit the button to generate a random number between 1 and 18. Ready?
GENERATE! This teammate is your new LI. Tell me about a romantic evening you two had together.
End of story.
I guess I need more luck next time ...
Modifié par CptData, 20 octobre 2011 - 06:31 .
#46
Posté 20 octobre 2011 - 09:24
HarshStone
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Samara and I went to a nice dinner at a club on Omega. A few tables down, some thugs got into an arguement. Turns out they were involved in some evil doing, so we killed them. Justicar'd no questions asked.
Jack decides she wants to know more about cerberus stuff and ends up taking over the ship (she really just locked the door to my cabin) I got Grunt to breack down the door and I shot her. Bad, crazy biotic lady!
Zaeed somehow got pregnant. He didn't want to talk about it. :S Wrex showed up to claim fatherhood, but it turns out, he was doing something with a glory hole(I dunno, Krogans might be into that) Wrex pushed Zaeed down the elevator shaft so he wouldnt have to bear the shame of having that child. He told the entire crew to keep their mouths shut or him and his shotgun would be back.
Mordin left me a present today. It was a disected Collector sprawled out on the floor, indicating all weaknesses. Odd, even for Mordin. There was a pistol on the table beside it, incase it came back to life. You never know.
Grunt Got into a fight today, with Ashley. Something about her not wanting to try make a new Krogan. To be fair, Grunt is alot stronger, and Ashley might be pregnant, we don't know yet.
Joker decided clothes were too confining. Nobody has been to the cockpit for days. There is talk of building a wall to keep him in there until he decides otherwise.
Sheperd dies in some freak accident, Jack steps up to the plate. (accident, I think not) The Normandy was never heard of or seen again!
HAHA! I'm still alive, and Fighting Harbinger! Thane killed him while I was behind a rock, letting my shield recharge. Thats twice now he's used me as a distraction!
Morinth died today, probably a good thing, I was so close to inviting her up to my cabin, then it would be me that was dead!
False report, Legion, Garrus and Jack are dead! Legion was trying to film some video that Garrus and Jack were putting together. For some reason, their clothes were not in the same room as they were. I don't even want to know what happened.
Jack decides she wants to know more about cerberus stuff and ends up taking over the ship (she really just locked the door to my cabin) I got Grunt to breack down the door and I shot her. Bad, crazy biotic lady!
Zaeed somehow got pregnant. He didn't want to talk about it. :S Wrex showed up to claim fatherhood, but it turns out, he was doing something with a glory hole(I dunno, Krogans might be into that) Wrex pushed Zaeed down the elevator shaft so he wouldnt have to bear the shame of having that child. He told the entire crew to keep their mouths shut or him and his shotgun would be back.
Mordin left me a present today. It was a disected Collector sprawled out on the floor, indicating all weaknesses. Odd, even for Mordin. There was a pistol on the table beside it, incase it came back to life. You never know.
Grunt Got into a fight today, with Ashley. Something about her not wanting to try make a new Krogan. To be fair, Grunt is alot stronger, and Ashley might be pregnant, we don't know yet.
Joker decided clothes were too confining. Nobody has been to the cockpit for days. There is talk of building a wall to keep him in there until he decides otherwise.
Sheperd dies in some freak accident, Jack steps up to the plate. (accident, I think not) The Normandy was never heard of or seen again!
HAHA! I'm still alive, and Fighting Harbinger! Thane killed him while I was behind a rock, letting my shield recharge. Thats twice now he's used me as a distraction!
Morinth died today, probably a good thing, I was so close to inviting her up to my cabin, then it would be me that was dead!
False report, Legion, Garrus and Jack are dead! Legion was trying to film some video that Garrus and Jack were putting together. For some reason, their clothes were not in the same room as they were. I don't even want to know what happened.
#47
Posté 20 octobre 2011 - 09:41
GameBoyish
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Liara and I had dinner in the Captain's Quarters and then we embraced eternity.
Garrus suddenly hates me and steals my prized collection of tightlacing corsets (I lurve me some corsets). I destroy his calibrating equipment. **** CALIBRATIONS.
Samara is now pregnant. Tali must have embraced eternity with her in loneliness. AWESOME.
You go up to your cabin to find a gift-wrapped box. It's from Liara. It's a latex catsuit and a latex tightlacing corset, AWWYEAH.
Thane gets in a fight with Ashley. Ashley wins..?
One day, Joker decides he is never going to wear clothing ever again.:O:O:O:O:O:O:O
And then Shepard died. Liara takes her place. (WHY THE FRECK DO I KEEP GETTING LIARA??? I'm not even a fan:pinched:). I think she can handle saving the galaxy.
So let's say Shepard didn't die. But during the final fight between
you and Harbinger, JACOB
suddenly swoops in, defeats him
single-handedly, and saves the day.
(NOW THIS IS MORE LIKE IT!)
Mordin is dead. He always preferred getting the job done and going home.
(failed to hold the line..?)
It's actually Joker, Garrus, and Jacob:crying:
:crying: who are dead. The killer? Jack. She went WAAAAAAY overboard with the drugs... 
Why Jack why???
Fanfic LURVIN TIME:
Morinth/Liara (Pureblood)
Garrus suddenly hates me and steals my prized collection of tightlacing corsets (I lurve me some corsets). I destroy his calibrating equipment. **** CALIBRATIONS.
Samara is now pregnant. Tali must have embraced eternity with her in loneliness.
AWESOME.You go up to your cabin to find a gift-wrapped box. It's from Liara. It's a latex catsuit and a latex tightlacing corset, AWWYEAH.
Thane gets in a fight with Ashley. Ashley wins..?
One day, Joker decides he is never going to wear clothing ever again.
:O:O:O:O:O:O:OAnd then Shepard died. Liara takes her place. (WHY THE FRECK DO I KEEP GETTING LIARA??? I'm not even a fan:pinched:). I think she can handle saving the galaxy.
So let's say Shepard didn't die. But during the final fight between
you and Harbinger, JACOB
suddenly swoops in, defeats him single-handedly, and saves the day.
(NOW THIS IS MORE LIKE IT!)
Mordin is dead. He always preferred getting the job done and going home.
(failed to hold the line..?)It's actually Joker, Garrus, and Jacob:crying:
:crying: who are dead. The killer? Jack. She went WAAAAAAY overboard with the drugs... Why Jack why???Fanfic LURVIN TIME:
Morinth/Liara (Pureblood)
#48
Posté 20 octobre 2011 - 09:44
GameBoyish
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CptData wrote...
Morinth is my Shepard's new LI. Both had a great evening, but Shepard died.Think of it as Mad Libs, but on crack. With Mass Effect. So when I say GENERATE!, you hit the button to generate a random number between 1 and 18. Ready?
GENERATE! This teammate is your new LI. Tell me about a romantic evening you two had together.
End of story.
I guess I need more luck next time ...
#49
Posté 20 octobre 2011 - 10:10
Mr. Brainheart
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Thane is my new LI, we had a good time, until I mentioned family, Thane got stuck in endless memory loops and I quickly had to end the evening with: “I should go.”
Jacob suddenly has an intense hate for me and steals my stuff! I got back on him by screwing up all the guns he’d recently fixed. Going to get my stuff back when he’s busy working on that. Admittedly not the smartest move.
Zaeed is pregnant, Tali is the father. Not. Sure. How this relationship works? Roleplay? Don’t want to think about it too much.
A gift from Morinth, I only knew that when I opened it up and she was in it. Resisted her tempting offer.
Tali gets in a fight with Liara, thinking she had interest in Zaeed, singularity was the key to Liara’s victory.
Liara then decided that she’d celebrate by never wearing any clothes again, perhaps she’s going through her Sleazy-bar-dancer stage.
Shepard got spaced and Jack takes over, let’s face it: we’re completely screwed, let’s hope the crew prevents her from flying the Normandy into a Cerberus station.
Thank god, Shepard returned again and everything returns to normal. In a final fight with Harby, Zaeed swoops in and saves the day. What a big goddam hero! Also quite a feat considering he’s nine months into his pregnancy by now!
Ashley died in the battle
: She was a brave warrior, a hellcat, on and off the battlefield. Her passion unstoppable. A lover of poetry and boomsticks. She’ll be dearly missed. *Cries since my favourite LI has just died.*
Just kidding! (very funny joke Ash, pretending to be dead 'n all…) Actually Samara, Liara and Joker died. Mordin had killed them! He had mixed up the sex ed. booklets they had asked for, unfortunately with disastrous consequences.
My fanfic’d be about Mordin and Kaidan: The King’s Song: Mordin tries to teach Kaidan, who has been mistaken for Elvis Pressley and agreed to sing a song for the thousands of followers, to sing and perform like ‘The King’.
Jacob suddenly has an intense hate for me and steals my stuff! I got back on him by screwing up all the guns he’d recently fixed. Going to get my stuff back when he’s busy working on that. Admittedly not the smartest move.
Zaeed is pregnant, Tali is the father. Not. Sure. How this relationship works? Roleplay? Don’t want to think about it too much.
A gift from Morinth, I only knew that when I opened it up and she was in it. Resisted her tempting offer.
Tali gets in a fight with Liara, thinking she had interest in Zaeed, singularity was the key to Liara’s victory.
Liara then decided that she’d celebrate by never wearing any clothes again, perhaps she’s going through her Sleazy-bar-dancer stage.
Shepard got spaced and Jack takes over, let’s face it: we’re completely screwed, let’s hope the crew prevents her from flying the Normandy into a Cerberus station.
Thank god, Shepard returned again and everything returns to normal. In a final fight with Harby, Zaeed swoops in and saves the day. What a big goddam hero! Also quite a feat considering he’s nine months into his pregnancy by now!
Ashley died in the battle
: She was a brave warrior, a hellcat, on and off the battlefield. Her passion unstoppable. A lover of poetry and boomsticks. She’ll be dearly missed. *Cries since my favourite LI has just died.*Just kidding! (very funny joke Ash, pretending to be dead 'n all…) Actually Samara, Liara and Joker died. Mordin had killed them! He had mixed up the sex ed. booklets they had asked for, unfortunately with disastrous consequences.
My fanfic’d be about Mordin and Kaidan: The King’s Song: Mordin tries to teach Kaidan, who has been mistaken for Elvis Pressley and agreed to sing a song for the thousands of followers, to sing and perform like ‘The King’.
#50
Posté 20 octobre 2011 - 10:36
Estelindis
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Great topic, Cheez!
I play female Infiltrator, FYI. :-) I normally romance and stay faithful to Kaidan, but...
Garrus is Shep's new LI. They go out for dinner and drinks, but have to intervene when a fight breaks out. Post-combat conversation turns towards optimising weapons and armour. They return to the Normandy for a geek-out where they connect much more passionately and informally than at the high-class restaurant.
Miranda suddenly (heh, I never liked Cerberus) hates Shepard and omnigels all her equipment. Shepard uses some of her millions of credits that have been locked in an investment fund since ME1 to buy more and thanks Miranda for getting rid of the Cerberus bugs that were in her old gear. Miranda continues to seethe.
Mordin is pregnant with Joker's child. It turns out that Mordin was always female, but hid it in order to escape the stereotyped child-bearing duties of her gender. While researching ways to help strengthen Joker, a mishap occurred, and some of her eggs were accidentally fertilised with Joker's genetic material. "Result unexpected. Now expecting."
Thane leaves a gift-wrapped pistol silencer in my cabin. Aw, how sweet! But he needs to understand that Garrus is my true love.
Legion gets into a fight with Wrex. Tiny pieces of Geth were later recovered from the ship's garbage compactor. Very sad.
One day, Morinth decides she is never going to wear clothing ever again. My face: o.O "Aren't you dead?!"
And then Shepard died. Zaeed took her place. He was the only one who made it out of the galaxy alive.
So let's say Shepard didn't die. But during the final fight between her and Harbinger, Morinth suddenly swoops in, defeats him single-handedly, and saves the day. Naked. My feelings: "...okay, maybe it's a good thing you came back from the dead after all. Still, no more vampiric murder-sex for you. And please, for the love of God, put on some clothes!"
Jack is dead. She was beginning to open up to her full, amazing human potential. It's so sad that she didn't have a chance to live in the galaxy she helped to save. We'll always remember her brave sacrifice.
Zaeed, Samara and Garrus are killed by Thane. He had a contract against each one of them, but forbore to carry it out until the fight against the Reapers was over. Apparently, "the gun killed them, Siha; I did not." Time to put that pistol silencer to good use avenging my friends and my lover. :-(
Kaidan and Jack are my OTP (not a bad pairing, actually). I call this glorious fanfic "Barrier." Of course, since Jack dies in the end, it has a bittersweet finale as Shepard, also bereaved, commiserates with her ex-lover at the funerals but ultimately does not re-connect with him.
I play female Infiltrator, FYI. :-) I normally romance and stay faithful to Kaidan, but...
Garrus is Shep's new LI. They go out for dinner and drinks, but have to intervene when a fight breaks out. Post-combat conversation turns towards optimising weapons and armour. They return to the Normandy for a geek-out where they connect much more passionately and informally than at the high-class restaurant.
Miranda suddenly (heh, I never liked Cerberus) hates Shepard and omnigels all her equipment. Shepard uses some of her millions of credits that have been locked in an investment fund since ME1 to buy more and thanks Miranda for getting rid of the Cerberus bugs that were in her old gear. Miranda continues to seethe.
Mordin is pregnant with Joker's child. It turns out that Mordin was always female, but hid it in order to escape the stereotyped child-bearing duties of her gender. While researching ways to help strengthen Joker, a mishap occurred, and some of her eggs were accidentally fertilised with Joker's genetic material. "Result unexpected. Now expecting."
Thane leaves a gift-wrapped pistol silencer in my cabin. Aw, how sweet! But he needs to understand that Garrus is my true love.
Legion gets into a fight with Wrex. Tiny pieces of Geth were later recovered from the ship's garbage compactor. Very sad.
One day, Morinth decides she is never going to wear clothing ever again. My face: o.O "Aren't you dead?!"
And then Shepard died. Zaeed took her place. He was the only one who made it out of the galaxy alive.
So let's say Shepard didn't die. But during the final fight between her and Harbinger, Morinth suddenly swoops in, defeats him single-handedly, and saves the day. Naked. My feelings: "...okay, maybe it's a good thing you came back from the dead after all. Still, no more vampiric murder-sex for you. And please, for the love of God, put on some clothes!"
Jack is dead. She was beginning to open up to her full, amazing human potential. It's so sad that she didn't have a chance to live in the galaxy she helped to save. We'll always remember her brave sacrifice.
Zaeed, Samara and Garrus are killed by Thane. He had a contract against each one of them, but forbore to carry it out until the fight against the Reapers was over. Apparently, "the gun killed them, Siha; I did not." Time to put that pistol silencer to good use avenging my friends and my lover. :-(
Kaidan and Jack are my OTP (not a bad pairing, actually). I call this glorious fanfic "Barrier." Of course, since Jack dies in the end, it has a bittersweet finale as Shepard, also bereaved, commiserates with her ex-lover at the funerals but ultimately does not re-connect with him.
Blast(o), why didn't I think of that first?thatguy212 wrote...
Jack and Kaidan is your OTP (one true pairing). What is the title of this atrocity?
The beast with biotic backs
Modifié par Estelindis, 20 octobre 2011 - 10:54 .
