80 réponses à ce sujet

[Nashiktal]

[quote]GENERATE!  This teammate is your new LI.  Tell me about a romantic evening you two had together.[/quote]

I never thought I swung that way, but Kasumi swept into my life and became my love interest. We went out for a romantic outing through an alliance opera house, and pulled off the biggest heist of the year. stealing the treasured crown of aurelia, straight from the actors head!

[quote]GENERATE!  This teammate suddenly hates you and decided to steal all your stuff.  How do you get it back?[/quote]
Zaeed dislliked my opinion on pancakes, stole my entire model collection. Got it back by threatening to jetison jessie, ended up making up at the bar with a drinking contest.

[quote]GENERATE! is now pregnant.  Ignore science.  GENERATE! is the father.  Reaction.[/quote]
Grunt suddenly became pregnant. After much investigation I found out that the father is Thane. Instantly began knitting new leather armor for the kid, like father like child right? Totally not drinking brain bleach.

[quote]You go up to your cabin to find a gift-wrapped box.  It's from GENERATE!.  What's in it?[/quote]
Kaiden sent me a gift today. Opened it up to find a picture taken during our first visit to the citadel, kaiden posed behind ashley making bunny ears, good times.

[quote]GENERATE! gets in a fight with GENERATE!.  Who wins?[/quote]
Zaeed got in a fight with thane today. Apparently zaeed is claiming custody over grunts baby, said something about training a super zaeed with marhsmallows. Took cover.

[quote]One day, GENERATE! decides (s)he is never going to wear clothing ever again.  Yourfacewhen.jpg.[/quote]
Kasumi came to my office today and confided in me her wish to never wear clothing again. After that reports say we have been missing for several years and I missed the reaper invasion. WORTH IT.

[quote]And then Shepard died.  GENERATE! takes his/her place.  Okay, let's be honest, how screwed is the galaxy?[/quote]
Kaiden decided to step up when I died, or so I here. He still hasn't been heard from since his visit to afterlife VIP lounge, the search is on.

[quote]So
let's say Shepard didn't die.  But during the final fight between you
and Harbinger, GENERATE! suddenly swoops in, defeats him
single-handedly, and saves the day.  How do you feel about that?[/quote]

Well what can I say. When the chips were down, Tali did her part. Harbinger had me cornered at the end of the platform with both of my squadmates down, when out of nowhere she flew from the sky screaming like a banshee planting the end of her shotgun straight into harbingers face. I'm getting her a homeworld after this.

[quote]Finally, GENERATE! is dead.  Write something nice to say at his/her funeral.[/quote]
Arrived at Liara's funeral. It was a quiet funeral, not many people here. Gave her a good speech I did, about our adventures. If only she had lived long enough to fulfill her role as the shadow broker, its going to be an empty place without her.

[quote]Just
kidding.  It's actually GENERATE!, GENERATE!, and GENERATE! who are
dead.  The killer?  GENERATE!.  Now, how the hell did this happen?[/quote]


Kaiden, mordin and grunt were all murdered. The culprit seems to be mordin himself. Mordin was treating kaiden for STD's after his romp at aftelife when grunt came in during a hormonal induced bloodrage and tore into both kaiden and mordin. Kaiden was killed instantly, but mordin managed to get some good hits in when he died. Poor saps.

[quote]Okay,
we're done.  But before I let you go, let's say you decided to write a
fanfic.  GENERATE! and GENERATE! is your OTP (one true pairing).  What
is the title of this atrocity?[/quote]

OMG I'm totally going to write about how garrus and grunt fell in love. When love booms will be the title!

Modifié par Nashiktal, 24 octobre 2011 - 10:06 .

[shenglu]

This team and I killed him constantly to external network online. He stole my boat. Looking back skyllian five high-stakes game. His poker face is good, I was better. I thank P, which is why.

[fainmaca]

1. GENERATE!  This teammate is your new LI.  Tell me about a romantic evening you two had together.
Miranda is my new LI. Jack was not pleased to hear about this. Shouldn't have broken up with her via that message spelled out on Tayseri ward...

2. GENERATE!  This teammate suddenly hates you and decided to steal all your stuff.  How do you get it back?
Jack stole all my stuff. Figures. See point number 1 for full story...

3. GENERATE! is now pregnant.  Ignore science.  GENERATE! is the father.  Reaction.
Liara is pregnant. Samara is the father. Joker has the video, and has set up a pay-per-view channel on the Normandy's internal network.

4. You go up to your cabin to find a gift-wrapped box.  It's from GENERATE!.  What's in it?
From Zaeed? Well, that's nice of him. There's a card! What does it say?
"Shepard. Go die in a fire. Vido got away because of you. Love and big goddamn kisses, Zaeed."
Well that was... strange. What's the gift? Oh, an incendiary grenade! How nice! Wait, where's the pin?

5. GENERATE! gets in a fight with GENERATE!.  Who wins?
Morinth gets in a fight with Jacob. Looks like that was too much priiiize for him to handle....

6. One day, GENERATE! decides (s)he is never going to wear clothing ever again.  Yourfacewhen.jpg
Legion told me he doesn't want to wear clothes anymore. I pointed out he never wore any in the first place. He's now getting fitted out for a dinner suit and top hat, complete with monocle. he'll wear that for a month to make a point, then he's going commando again. My brain hurts.

7, And then Shepard died.  GENERATE! takes his/her place.  Okay, let's be honest, how screwed is the galaxy?
REAPERS: Garrus Vakarian, you fight against inevitab-
GV: Can it wait for a bit? I'm in the middle of some calibrations.
R:... You fight-
GV: Calibrations!
R:... You-
GV: Calibrations!
R:... Y-
GV: Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, ex-calibrations-hibit A!
R: If-
GV: Have I told you about my website, www.calibrations!.com?
R: I-
GV: Have you seen my calibrattion-ipples?
R: ...
GV: Calibrations! That was a pre-emptive calibrations!
R: But-
GV: I got a whole bag of calibrations here with your name on it!
*Reapers die of an aneurism*

8. So let's say Shepard didn't die.  But during the final fight between you and Harbinger, GENERATE! suddenly swoops in, defeats him single-handedly, and saves the day.  How do you feel about that?
Suddenly I'm really regretting the whole Jack-break-up thing....

9. Finally, GENERATE! is dead.  Write something nice to say at his/her funeral.
Joker... He died as he lived. Travelling at seven hundred miles an hour, with a boner.

10. Just kidding.  It's actually GENERATE!, GENERATE!, and GENERATE! who are dead.  The killer?  GENERATE!.  Now, how the hell did this happen?
Zaeed, Kaidan, Grunt by Jack. Here's a tip- don't ask about the stuffed unicorn toy on the sub-deck.

11. Okay, we're done.  But before I let you go, let's say you decided to write a fanfic.  GENERATE! and GENERATE! is your OTP (one true pairing).  What is the title of this atrocity?
Wrex and Thane. There ain't enough omni-gel on the goddamn Citadel for this....

[fainmaca]

I hope y'all don't mind, but I had fun doing that! I'll just pop another one down here.

1. GENERATE!  This teammate is your new LI.  Tell me about a romantic evening you two had together.
Kasumi and I went out for the evening. when I woke up the following morning, I was tied to the central ring of the Conduit in the Presidium, with naught a stitch to wear.

2. GENERATE!  This teammate suddenly hates you and decided to steal all your stuff.  How do you get it back?
Yeah... Turns out Kasumi cleaned me out while I was otherwise... occupied.

3. GENERATE! is now pregnant.  Ignore science.  GENERATE! is the father.  Reaction.
Morinth is pregnant. Garrus is the father. he's just that damn manly.

4. You go up to your cabin to find a gift-wrapped box.  It's from GENERATE!.  What's in it?
Oh, a present from Samara. Its a big one! There's a card! Let's read it.
"Dear Shepard. Were i not bound to you by my oath, the Code would obligate me to rip your arms from their sockets and shove them down your earholes as just punishment for that incident with the orphanage on Palaven. In order to avoid this dilemma in the future, I have given you a complete copy of the first section of the Justicar code, volume one through seventeen. I shall test you on this material next week before proceeding on to the next three sections. Should you fail, the suffering the Code demands i exact upon you will make death appear an inviting alternative.
Love, Samara"
Well that's... thoughtful. Let's see what these books are like- my god! It's- is that- there's an entire forest compressed between the covers!

5. GENERATE! gets in a fight with GENERATE!.  Who wins?
Mordin gets in a fight with Grunt. They take part in a singing contest. Mordin's rendition of 'It's not easy being green' is well received by all but Thane, but Grunt's masterful rendition of 'we're walking in the air' blows everyone away.

6. One day, GENERATE! decides (s)he is never going to wear clothing ever again.  Yourfacewhen.jpg
Day one: Jacob announces he's forever forsaking clothing.
Day Two: Thirty eight sexual harassment suits are filed.
Day Three: Jacob is admitted to the infirmary. What he refers to as 'Mister Lefty' is never found. Laughter is heard from the sub-deck.

7, And then Shepard died.  GENERATE! takes his/her place.  Okay, let's be honest, how screwed is the galaxy?
Charging striaght at the Reapers in nothing but a loin cloth may not have been the best idea. But you've got to give Grunt credit, the head-butt was unexpected.

8. So let's say Shepard didn't die.  But during the final fight between you and Harbinger, GENERATE! suddenly swoops in, defeats him single-handedly, and saves the day.  How do you feel about that?
Sending in yeoman Chambers to give the Reapers Scale-Itch? Inspired! The scientist Salarian triumphs again!

9. Finally, GENERATE! is dead.  Write something nice to say at his/her funeral.
I never knew much about Jack, but I knew this- she hated Miranda, and that made her all right in my book.

10. Just kidding.  It's actually GENERATE!, GENERATE!, and GENERATE! who are dead.  The killer?  GENERATE!.  Now, how the hell did this happen?
Samara, Tali and Jack, all killed by Grunt. It involved a bet, three barrels of ryncol and a plushie Hanar. I can say no more.

11. Okay, we're done.  But before I let you go, let's say you decided to write a fanfic.  GENERATE! and GENERATE! is your OTP (one true pairing).  What is the title of this atrocity?
Ashley and Jacob- What happens on Eden Prime lives forever on Youtube....

[Nightwriter]

1. My LI is Samara. We go to the movies, but the film we are watching is horrible. I attempt to leave it and sneak into the theater next door where they are showing a better film. Samara explodes with biotic energy, throws me down, and incarcerates me for my unlawful behavior, informing the usher that justice has been done. From between the bars of my cell I tell Samara that Morinth would've let me sneak into the better movie. She says, "That is why Morinth is evil." I ask for peanuts. She says, "That is on human airplanes, not in jail cells." I tell her Morinth would bring me peanuts. She says, "That is why Morinth is evil."

2. Thane steals all my stuff. I confront him. He denies it. In the middle of his denial he has a verbal flashback. "Shepard, why would I desire your personal effects? I don't under -- I SEE THE FORNAX MAGAZINE UPON THE TABLE -- HANAR FEATURED COVER, TENTACLES SPRAWLED ALLURINGLY -- FEELINGS I HAD THOUGHT LOST FOREVER STIR WITHIN MY DYING BODY -- I SEIZE THE MAGAZINE, THE BEDSHEET, I GRAB THE GUN LUBRICANT -- "

3. Joker is preggers. Samara is the father. I accuse Samara of seducing Joker in retaliation for our failed date. Samara throws my Cain out of an airlock after telling me she thinks I'm too petty and small minded to be trusted with portable nuclear explosives. I fly into a rage and scream, "NO I AM NOT, POOPYHEAD," and attack her, screaming, "Remember the Cain! Remember the Cain!" Before the fight is concluded Joker walks in crying. His stomach is huge with child and he doesn't understand what is happening to him. Samara mentions she is going to have to confiscate the baby so it can be raised as a warrior paladin messiah as the Code prophesied. Joker begs me for protection for him and his unborn child. I tell him he should have thought of that before he did the nasty with the woman who kept me from seeing The Krogan Who Was Not Afraid To Cry, which was available in 3D, featured five live action Reaper deaths, and had won a Grammy for Most Thought-Provoking Film of the Year. 

4. I find a present from Kasumi. It is a blurry unidentifiable picture which later reveals itself to be a closeup of Jacob's serratis anterior muscles. Wondering why this would be of value to me, I instinctually reach for my Cain so I can nuke the picture. It is then that I recall that my Cain is floating through the void of space somewhere. The realization sends me spiraling into a mental breakdown, and Kelly finds me curled in the fetal position in the corner of my shower two hours later, sobbing as the water runs down my clothing. She attempts to comfort me, but she simply does not understand how important it is for a reasonable and civilized human being to have a portable nuclear warhead.

5. Garrus gets in a fight with Grunt in the cargo bay. Garrus stays in a sniper nest during the duration of the fight as Grunt stands on the ground, roaring up at Garrus that snipers are cowards. Garrus responds by slowly hitting Grunt with bullet after bullet as the krogan moves about restlessly below him, promising various descriptive deaths. He dies riddled with slugs. His last words are that sniper rifles are for p... are for pan... are for pans... pans...

6. Legion decides he is never going to wear clothes again. I stare at him blankly, while somewhere I hear EDI gasp. I feel like I'm missing something. I attempt to puzzle out what it might be but Joker distracts me by running in and crying that his water just broke and I must come with him during the birth or else Samara will take the baby and raise it as a dark harbinger of judgment day. I take that opportunity to die.

7. Joker takes over. His swollen pregnant body lumbers across battlefields, belly bouncing, as he attempts to take my place as squad leader, occasionally vomiting and weeping and wondering if this ammo pack makes him look fat. In his final showdown with Harbinger and the human Reaper he fails horribly and the day seems lost. It is at that moment that Samara's paladin messiah baby bursts from Joker's body and destroys the entire Reaper in a blast of white hot light. The team cheers the baby until it turns upon them and informs them, in a voice as deep as Vader's, that they will all now die also, for committing felonies and various misdemeanors.

8. In the final fight with Harbinger, Grunt sweeps in and saves the day, having somehow risen from the dead. The air is full of the shouts of:
"I KNOW YOU FEEL THIS."
"YEAH! RIGHT ON YOUR ASS!"
"I KNOW YOU FEEL THIS."
"YEAH! RIGHT ON YOUR ASS!"
"I KNOW YOU FEEL THIS."
"YEAH! RIGHT ON YOUR ASS!"
I hide behind a low cover wall, praying for death.

9. Tali is dead. My eulogy: "All species use beer bongs. I was just trying to make her feel included, she was pouting. How was I supposed to know that tube controlled her oxygen?"

10. Legion, Liara, and Zaeed are dead. Grunt killed each of them for defeating him in WoW.

11. Jack and Grunt are my OTP. I create a fanfic entitled i Just Want Battle, I Just Want You.

Modifié par Nightwriter, 15 novembre 2011 - 04:03 .

[DoNotIngest]

Wrex and I went out drinking in the Tomkah to celebrate Harbinger's ass-whooping. Partied a little too hardy. Stuff happened. Don't ask about the limp.


Miranda hates me and decides to steal all my stuff. I congratulate her for finally growing a spine and returning the sentiment, and backhand her across the room like a Biotic God. I then procede to take all of her clothes and all of my stuff, except for a few articles of my heaviest clothing. Girl's gotta learn.


Kasumi knocked up Ashley. Well, I always said that girl had balls. Ashley gets +5 to likability from Kasumi's Area Buff.


Mordin left me a present. More Quarian porn, with some Krogan thrown in there. God, why won't what happens in the Tomkah stay in the Tomkah?! Dumping this off on Joker and Grunt, respectively. Or maybe I'll do that backwards. Yeah, I could use a laugh these days...


Kasumi gets in a fight with herself. She's careening all over the Mess, knocking over tables and bashing that hooded head of hers around. Got Zaeed to restrain her so we could calm her down and whisk her off to Kelly & Chakwas. Funny, it's not usually the father that gets a little iffy during pregnancy.


Samara has recieved a baffling update of The Code. She is now required to not wear anything. Much kudos and bone-vaporizing high five go to Joker and his Extranet forgery. He's now ingratiated to most of the ship; Zaeed even sent him up some of his "safety" surveillance gear.


Ashley is the new Galactic Hero. The Galaxy's as boned as Ashley was on that magical night. I mean, seriously, she's pregnant and Kasumi's going all multiple-personalities-drama-king, she can't deal with this sh!t right now.


Kasumi cloaked&dropped Harby's sorry ass. Good to have you back, daddio. Even if s/he gave all the credit to The Voices telling her what to do...


Garrus is dead. I'd say something nice, but, well, everything else had to have been destroyed before Garrus would get bored and decide to stop existing. So that's just it.


Jack and Kaidan decided to have a biotic-off. Zaeed was in the front row straight off, and Legion begin observing just before Garrus got back from his chat with his old sidekick Death. Unfortunately, one of his dirty joke involving biotic fisting caused Jack to lose concentration as she charged a singularity of over 9000. The blast tore her & Alenko apart. The joke itself caused Legion to headasplode. Zaeed just tied his arms back on with some tuck tape, said something about stupid Turian jokes, and walked away muttering about how it was too bad someone else had survived this one.


Wrex and Wrex. Despite Tali's most seductive efforts, I couldn't erase my inebriated night with my old Krogan companion from my mind. So I wrote from the soul, a tale spanning parallel universes, where the Battlemaster met himself. And the Universe Imploded: They're too Wrexy for their Crests.

Modifié par DoNotIngest, 15 novembre 2011 - 05:33 .