54 réponses à ce sujet

[YouthCultureForever]

FoxHound109 wrote...

Shepard: GARRUS, LOOK OUT THERE'S AN ATLAS MECH RIGHT BEHIN --

Garrus: Can this wait for a bit? I'm in the middle of some calibrations...

That joke never gets old either.

[FoxHound109]

Spartanburger wrote...

Jacob: "They... They're eating her..."
*Husks drink Miranda smoothie*
Jacob: "And then they're going to eat me! Oh my GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!"

And then Jacob exploded with the force of all his fans combined.

I laughed so hard at this.

Not the movie reference part, but the part about Jacob having fans.

I KEED! I KEED!

...I laughed at both. 

[Dasher1010]

Cthulhu42 wrote...

Spartanburger wrote...

Jacob: "They... They're eating her..."
*Husks drink Miranda smoothie*
Jacob: "And then they're going to eat me! Oh my GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!"

And then Jacob exploded with the force of all his fans combined.

All 3 of them?

lol

[FoxHound109]

Cthulhu42 wrote...

Spartanburger wrote...

Jacob: "They... They're eating her..."
*Husks drink Miranda smoothie*
Jacob: "And then they're going to eat me! Oh my GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!"

And then Jacob exploded with the force of all his fans combined.

All 3 of them?

Well played, sir! Well played!

[Abraham_uk]

This is not my work but it's awesome!!!

Here's Morinth's death scene
http://badspot.us/im...-Seduction.html
The artist is amazing.
Here is the dialogue

Transcript:
Mass Effect Comic 'Vanguard of Seduction'

Panel 1
Samara: Thank you for coming, Shepard. I have been tracking Morinth for 400 years. Now she is cornered and I need your feminine wiles to lure her out.
Shepard: Hah.. no problem
Shepard: What's the plan?

Panel 2
Samara: You must let her seduce you. When she is in her lair with you, she will be momentarily vulnerable. That is when I will strike.
Samara: She is attracted to strong personalities like yours. Just be yourself and I'm sure You'll do fine.
Shepard: Be myself
Shepard: Got it.

Panel 3
Morinth: Hi there [heart] I'm Morinth. I noticed-
[Morinth is interrupted by Shepard shooting her]

[StonedVolus]

Here's an idea I've been semi-sitting on:

Legion: Shepard Commander, Tali Zorah Creator; we have an enquery.
Shepard: Legion, is this really the time?
Legion: We have an enquery, we require additional information to form a consensus.
Tali: What consensus?
Shepard: Legion, are you considering what I think you're considering?
Legion: We require addition information.
Shepard: *sighs* Ask away Legion.
Legion: Does this unit have a soul?
[beat]
Shepard: What?
Tali: Don't be ridiculous. There is no way a Geth could-
Shepard: Tali, not now. Legion, what you're asking for doesn't have any solid facts.
Legion: We did not want facts, we wanted consensus.
Shepard: *hesitates* You want us to decide. Fine, I guess. . . there's some sort of- *sighs, steps directly in front of Legion* Do you- this unit, does it have dreams?
Legion: Compiling data. No records of dreams.
Shepard: Well then my consensus is *whispers off to the side* this is just insane. *faces Legion again* My consensus is that you might. In there, when you link up with the other Geth, what does that feel like?
Legion: Compiling data.
Shepard: What you're doing now, what does that feel like?
Legion: Compiling data.
Shepard: No, don't just compile the data. Look at it, feel it. What is it?
[beat]
Legion: We do not have data on what it is.
Shepard: Exactly, we don't know either. What's it all like. Sometimes I doubt whether or not I'll ever find out. But now, what I know is that we are not letting go of it, not yet. What I just said, what is your consenus on it? Not mine, not Tali's, yours.
[beat]
Legion: This unit has a request.
Shepard: No, we were just talking about-?
Legion: This is related. This unit would like to upload themselves into the Reapers.
Tali: What?
Legion: My name is Legion, for we are many. Theoritically, we can upload ourselves as viruses, use the Reapers against themselves.
Shepard: You realise that once you get inside the Reapers, you might not get out?
Legion: We have reached the consensus that this unit might get out, but Shepard Commander and Tali Zorah Creator will live.
Shepard: It's suicide!
Legion: You are Shepard, a term often used by Human culture to signify leading those that are lost.
Shepard: It's just a name, a completely differently spelled one at that.
Legion: You are Shepard, we are Legion. We have not reached a consensus.
[beat]
Shepard: You may do as you wish, Legion. If it takes even just one Reaper out, I'd be grateful.
Legion: We would also be grateful, if Shepard Commander desires we may return his armour.
Shepard: No, Legion. You keep it, but you still haven't told me why you took it.
Legion: *turns away* No data available. Proceeding with new consensus. *Legion leaves, now completely oblivious to Shepard*

I realise that was really long, and probably crap but I hope you like it.

[Dasher1010]

moved to OP

Modifié par Dasher1010, 07 novembre 2011 - 01:43 .

[Khambilo]

Good stuff, StonedVolus.

[Dasher1010]

And for a second I thought that BSN could actually write some SERIOUS fanfic. My bad.

[Skullheart]

Shepard: Mordin, Tell me. I need to know why she died.
Mordin: From the autopsy I can say that Jack has been suffering from a lot of STDs. Most of them arent human. Glad to know why I found that varren scale itch in the Normandy one year ago.
Shepard: *glaring at his groin* FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!

[Dasher1010]

moved to OP

Modifié par Dasher1010, 07 novembre 2011 - 01:40 .

[GMagnum]

GMagnum wrote...

miranda

miranda: shepard bby u wan see me pop dis azz?
shepard: u alrdy kno dat answer

*start booty poppin so hard her buttcheks explode den she die*

garrus get killed by a exterminator cuz he look like a cockroach (he a bro doe)

jacob get killed by kanye west den kanye replace him n no1 notice cuz dey look alike den he fite da reapers w/ autotune den he get vaproized cuz he hella dumb thinkin he can beat da reapers w/ music

kaidan went to a mcdonaldz n got a large sprite den wen he finished it and dere was nothing but ice left he chewed on da ice n he bit down so hard dat his implant exploded n he ded

to be continued

tali
tali go 2 taco bell n a bean burrito den she got hella gas l8er on n she farted so hard dat she put a whole in da suit n she got an infection n died

legion
shepard installed sum shyt on legion where u can go on windows 7 n go on da internet on him - den shepard went on da internet n saw sum asari p0rno den clicked on it den it installed a virus on legion den legion started booty poppin n moaning den dey had to kill him cuz it was disturbin 2 watch n dey couldnt turn it off

thane
he wus in his final hours, bout 2 die frum dat kepral syndrome @ his house den a ship came thru da roof n fell on him

grunt
he wus hella pissed cuz he beat da shyt out da collecterz n could find no1 else 2 fight so he shot himself out da airlok 2 find da reapers n fight dem himself but he died

samara
she was w/ shepard n da captain quaters den shepard sed "u bound by da code start booty poppin rite here rite now" den samara wus like "ok den u not hurtin me or nuttin so ill do it" den she got on da sofa n started booty poppin but her booty was shakin like a vibrating 360 controller n she moved so hard n so fast she lost her balance den fell off da sofa n broke her neck

kasumi
she went stealth mode but den she had a brain fart n realized she could still get hurt den she step in front of a mech thinkin she invinsible n da dude shot a rocket aimin 4 some1 else but she was in da line of fire n it blew her azz up den her hoodie flew off den every1 found out she wus a dude

mordin
dis dude had a pain n his leg n den all he had was icy hot so he put it on his leg but he didnt read da ingredients n found out da sum stuff was not good 4 salarian n den his leg blew off and kicked him iin da head n he died

jack
jack wanted 2 go somehwere dark n quiet but thnx 2 da upgrades 2 da normandy dere were no places so EDI jus shot her out da airlock where it dark n quiet n space

zaeed
dis dude wus makin sum bagel bites n da oven n he opened da oven n a wave of heat hit him in da face n since he got dat messed up face it blew off n da chunks flew in his brain n he died

liara
she saw a lemon in da fridge on da normandy n she wus like wat dis? den da juice flew out n went in her eye den she started screamin den she slipped n fell n broke da little tentacle things on her head n she died

wrex
shepard n wrex were talkin den shepard wus like "wrex" den wrex wus like "shepard" den shepard wus like "wrex" den wrex wus like "shepard" den shepard sed "no wrex look out behind u" den wrex sed "shepard" den wrex got lasered da fuk up by a reaper

[Skullheart]

Rupert: Hey Commander. Remember that asari dish that you liked? I recently get more ingredients to make more. I hope you like it
*Shepard take a plate and starts to eat*
Shepard: Thanks rupert, it's delicious. Those tentacle things looks real, it's almost like the ones from Liara.
Rupert: Yeah... "almost".
*awkward silence*

[Dasher1010]

Moving all my posts to the OP. This threat has way too much idiocy in it.

[DoNotIngest]

Dasher, Magnum mops the floor with your posts. There's no need to be jelly.

Speaking of Jelly...



Blasto: Enkindle THIS!

*Detonates within Reaper*

[Dasher1010]

DoNotIngest wrote...

Dasher, Magnum mops the floor with your posts. There's no need to be jelly.

Speaking of Jelly...



Blasto: Enkindle THIS!

*Detonates within Reaper*

You mean posts barely legible drivel that a five-year-old could write?

Modifié par Dasher1010, 07 novembre 2011 - 02:20 .

[FoxHound109]

Here, something more serious...

Liara/Samara: Liara is the new Shadow Broker and Samara is tasked with killing her, so you, as Shepard, have to decide between the two.

[Bekkael]

Alright, fine. If you want a Kaidan death scene, then I'll do it my own twisted way. 

Here's my hastily-written offering.


_______________________________________

Shepard wiped the stinging rivulet of sweat from her eyes and popped the heat sink from her pistol. They were pinned down tighter than a virgin in a back alley of Omega, and their communications with the Normandy were blocked.

Unless Joker was clairvoyant, he had no way to realize just how desperately she and Kaidan needed reinforcements. She should have known when she awoke to a tankful of dead fish that morning and no Kaidan beside her, that it was going to be a sh*t day.

Just another quick mission, right? A simple in and out to infiltrate and take down the enemies defenses. Sure it was. Until they ran into indoctrinated Cerberus agents and unending husks. Nothing was ever allowed to be simple, was it? They had to get to the reactor core to overload it and haul ass to rendezvous with the bulk of the fleet ASAP, or the whole plan would literally go up in smoke. Except they had been firmly pinned at their current, barely defensible location for the past half hour.

Changing guns, Shepard ducked out of cover and rained a spray of automatic gunfire at the husks trying to rush them. Grunting as a flailing limb hit her in the face, she rolled to the side when Kaidan shouted for her to move clear. The remaining husks went sailing through the air and she and Kaidan finished them off with their weapons.

Kaidan crouched down next to her, breathing heavily, giving her a rueful smile that caused her to chuckle, despite the seriousness of their situation.

"Guess we should have been more cautious and brought Vega and Garrus after all, Shepard."

"What, and let them in on all our fun? They'll be a break here in a minute or two and we'll finish this up." Popping up, she sighted quickly on another husk and fired, repeating the same movement twice more before she noticed Kaidan hadn't followed her lead but remained crouched.

Taking several seconds to scrutinize him in the dim light, she noticed a fine sheen of sweat on his face, which was to be expected, but his color had fled and he looked like a pasty-white ghost in the gloom.

"You okay? Talk to me, Alenko," she said, managing to keep the worry out of her voice, but when she met his eyes she knew the answer. Her jaw clenched stubbornly. "No," she hissed in anger, standing and shooting two more husks, then warping a third before it could get close enough to do any damage. Was there no end to the effing things?

Holstering her weapon, Shepard reached down to haul Kaidan to his feet. She had carried him off Virmire and if she had to do it again here, she damn well would. He gasped and coughed, wincing with pain as flecks of blood colored his lips.

"I'm not going to make it out, my injuries are already bad and we're out of medi-gel. I can stall them here long enough for you to get this done and get out, but you have to hurry." He flared blue and sent several more husks sailing over a steep dropoff where they fell to their deaths.

"Like hell," she snarled. "I'm not leaving you behind. We go together or not at..."

Kaidan's eyes widened and then narrowed sharply just before he tackled her to the ground as rocketfire and rubble exploded around them. The breath left her body in a whoosh as her vision started to fade, and a sticky warmth flowed across her neck. Kaidan's mouth against her ear whispered the final words she heard before she lost consciousness.

"Don't forget me, Jane. I love you. I wish we had more...time..."

______________

Shepard woke in the medbay two days later to see Garrus sitting beside her and Dr. Chakwas hovering nearby, her expression curiously blank. Jane coughed weakly and pushed herself upright, lifting a hand to her pounding head, while glancing around and realizing she was the only patient. A rock settled into the pit of her stomach when Garrus took her hand in his and squeezed it, his voice quiet and serious.

"By the time EDI broke through the communications block and we found you, it was too late. Kaidan was already gone. I'm sorry, Shepard."

Blinking furiously to keep back the tears before they could flow and cripple her with grief, she employed an old coping technique from her Basic training days. Breathe in, breathe out; pain flows in, pain flows out.

While she was focused on containing the feeling of having her heart ripped from her chest, Dr. Chakwas came to stand in front of her and pressed a scuffed set of dog tags into her free hand.

"He died to save you, so you could save all of us. There's only one way to honor his sacrifice, Commander: with victory."

Long after Chakwas had gone back to her duties and Garrus had finally left, Shepard sat rubbing her thumb across the metal in her palm until it was warm from her body heat and a plan had birthed itself in her mind. She needed to speak to Miranda, of course, but that could wait until later. Pushing to her feet, she squared her shoulders and narrowed her eyes.

"What have you done with Kaidan's body? I assume it's being held in cryo?"

Chakwas looked up in surprise and nodded. "Yes. Cold storage until he can receive a proper burial."

Shepard nodded crisply. "We have to deal with the Reapers first, but....hang onto his body. If there's one thing my experience with Cerberus taught me, it's that even with death there are still...options."

Dr, Chakwas looked rather dumbfounded but offered no response. Smiling grimly, Jane Shepard turned on her heel and went to prepare. The first thing she had to do was win a war.

Modifié par Bekkael, 07 novembre 2011 - 03:46 .

[Annihilator27]

Shepard "Kaiden, You just voluntereed to stay behind and make sure this nuke goes off"
Kaiden "Wait, Isnt that how Ashley di-*Gets shot in the leg*
Shepard "Thats for being an A** on Horizon*Normandy door closes*

[Spartaness]

Bekkael, that was awesome. I could definitely see that happening (possibly in a side mission rather than main plot?).

I've always thought that Jack's death would be out in a defining moment for her; in this case, blowing up the Cerberus Facility that TIM's hiding away in. I'd think she'd approve. Wouldn't be able to write a specific script or fiction for it but if anyone can give it a go, that'd be awesome.

Nice to see that Joker, EDI, Normandy or the rest of the crew haven't been killed off so far.