101 réponses à ce sujet

[Unknown Username]

Darpaek wrote...

"Honey... dearest... Can we talk? I know I have this nice job that, together, allows us to afford this nice home and these nice cars. But there's something I've always wanted to do. I talked to an old buddy of mine from college and he thinks there might be an opportunity for me to realize one of my dreams. I want to quit my job, drive to the other side of the country and apply for a job that a thousand other people - all of whom are more qualified with better resumes - are all competing for. I give you my word that I will try my best and even if I don't get the job right away I'm going to show up for work every day and work for free until I convince them to hire me. I probably won't get it, but if I do, I'll be away from home for, at least, the next year. If I continue along this career path, I will be relocating every few months. I know this sounds like a lot, but I'll never have a better opportunity to break into this career than this. I wanna do this. Are you okay with it?"

Seriously?

(If so - let's get hitched! )

I've done this. 

Spouse wanted to pack up and move across the country to try grad school in infectious diseases.  We talked about it, found a place to live out there, and after careful planning made the move out there.  I picked up a job, worked hard to pay the bills and allow them to get the desired schooling.  When they had multiple anxiety attacks and medical issues, I did my best to help out, and we eventually moved back closer to home for the stability it afforded.

When the issues that you mention come up, I'm very happy that I'm married.  It allows us to discuss our individual hopes and dreams and work towards helping each other achieve them.  We've talked about the possibilty of moving to Alaska for another opportunity that arose, along with the idea of myself going back to school for a completely different field than I'm in.  These sorts of issues are where marriage thrives, in my opinion.   I know that I've always got someone to back me up and help me out.

[BlacknBlue485]

I married because I wanted too, my American Dream was to have a family of my own and do the best possible by my children, and for that I got a wife who knows how to keep me on track Financially, and Mentally, so for me Marriage was definitely by choice.

[harvestboygoobus]

My wife and I are both about to go crazy about this game. She's wanted it longer than I have, perhaps, but we're both equally excited. Sure, we're probably going to have to take turns playing it and all that fun stuff, but who else but the most impatient of people still struggles with taking turns? Plus, we've already come up with a nice compromise! 

I'm going to start by playing a male mage and do Morrigan's quest and then she's going to be a female elf and see Allister's side... and then, when I'm not around, she's going to have a male human noble to see that side of things too. Works out nicely, really!

Plus, she's awesome and said I could play first. This is why I love her.

Anyway, I'm not going to call anyone who hates marriage ignorant or anything. Some people are honestly not able to marry--or, at least, at their current level of maturity, shouldn't. It's the people that force themselves into it when they're not ready that turn out to be the jerk husbands and wives that ruined the image of marriage in the first place.

However, if you are ready, then marriage is an awesome experience and it's the best thing that ever happened to me. Call me ignorant or stupid--I've heard it all--but I have a great life and it's far better because of it. There's just something about having someone to come home to that makes life look better all around. I'm sure a lot of the other married board members here will agree.

[harvestboygoobus]

Darn double post. Site's giving me problems right now...

Modifié par harvestboygoobus, 01 novembre 2009 - 07:44 .

[Quagga-esque]

I live in Moscow, but my Russian isn't good enough to play DaO in Russian, and I didn't want to take the chance that as with a lot of software here, Bioware would ship it without the English to cut down on piracy.



So I pre-ordered the CE edition to be delivered to my sister in London. The slight problem is, I've no idea when I'll next be back in the UK and be able to pick it up.

It might be in a couple of weeks, it might be Christmas or it might be sometime next year.



And she unfortunately can't post it to me, as Russian customs will confiscate it just because they can. So I'm currently sharing in everyone's sense of anticipation, but do spare a thought for me, over the next couple of weeks when your copies arrive...

[horang]

Not all of us met our wives within 25 miles of our homes and settled down for a picket fence life. I met mine several thousand miles from home in Korea. We've been married for seven years and just got back from 3 months backpacking through India and Nepal. Next year we're planning a few months to cross South America. I agree that many people get married too early but that doesnt trash the institution as a whole.

[TanithAeyrs]

In reply to Darpaek


I am sad for you.  Marriage is not for everyone, probably not for you obviously.  But don't bash it for everyone.  I suspect many of us here, myself included are not only children of divorce, but of multiple remarriages with good reason to be skeptical of marriage.  I myself (and probably many others here), was happily single through most of my 20's.  Moved over 2000 miles from home after graduate school, then I met someone (and turned down his proposals for over 2 years before accepting).  So not happy out of ignorance.


In an effort to bring things back on topic: work is going to keep my DA:O time to a minimum until I go off call at 8:00 AM on Thursday the 12th.  I might get a little time to play in the evenings if I don't have too many calls. 

Modifié par TanithAeyrs, 01 novembre 2009 - 08:16 .

[harvestboygoobus]

horang wrote...

Not all of us met our wives within 25 miles of our homes and settled down for a picket fence life. I met mine several thousand miles from home in Korea. We've been married for seven years and just got back from 3 months backpacking through India and Nepal. Next year we're planning a few months to cross South America. I agree that many people get married too early but that doesnt trash the institution as a whole.

I actually didn't meet my wife anywhere near me either. Though she wasn't several thousand miles away, she lived about five hundred miles away. Met online, internet dated for about six years, and then finally married last year. Just had our one year about a month ago, actually! Interestingly enough, we hit it off because of our mutual interest in video games.

[Shattered Shield]

I look forward to the idea i might marry my gf

but i dont plan on it for several more yrs



OP just hang in there ur wife will probably make it up to u on the trip

[Sheylan]

I have a mixed opinion on the subject of marriage. On the one hand, my parents had a NASTY divorce when I was 10, and they still hate each other (my father has been paying alimony to the tune of $20,000 a month for almost 8 years now, just to give an idea of the severity here. Oh, and my mom still thinks she got ripped, since it's almost done). So, i got courtside tickets to when marraige fails horrificaly. On the other hand, I have many other freinds and family who are happily married and have been in some cases for decades.

One of my uncle's wives' brother (hmm, gotta be a better way of phrasing that.) married an italian woman who 8 years later decided that she didn't like the U.S... so she decided too leave. With their 6 year old son. Without telling anyone. 16 months later the custody battle is Still going on.

So marraige can fail, indisputadly. And when it does it can be explosive. But for some people it does work.

I guess all I can say is be careful who you pick, but swearing off marriage completely means you are cutting an opportunity out of your life that can be just as amazing as any in your life. And for some people it never will work. They just arn't wired that way.

[Eshaye]

Darpaek wrote...

Eshaye wrote...

Been there done that, twice. First time it was me who wanted to move and try something out and I had no real plans either or friends to let me in or anything.. The second time it was my husband who wanted to move away and try another job. I'm not saying it's as easy as it sounds, but we did it, we learned a lot and we know each other extremely well because of it.

Married people aren't another type of species who do everything the same way and differently then single people, sure some have that attitude and some view it as somekind of institution, but for a lot of us we're just two people who can't think of living with anyone else, including our own family members.. If that means moving to Japan on a maybe then so be it, we'll adjust accordingly.

Also agree wtih imported_beer   And not with the silly person who posted after...

See, but you can hardly hold yourself up as the "typical" marriage, you understand?  You're not.  You've been tremendously successful.  No offense, but from your previous posts, you also sound old.

The farther I get from college, obviously, the fewer single people I know.  However, every person I know that's single is also incredibly happy.  The only miserable people I know are married.

I'm old? What's old to you? I get the impression you're young somewhere between 18-23... I'm 29 going on 30 in two months and will be celebrating our 10th year aniversary this spring. So yes I was very, very lucky to meet my husband at the tender age of 20, I know that's not most people's cases, but look at these responses there's lots of happily married folk in this comunity too. It's not like this is a myth or a dream.  

I will tell you a story, I had this boyfriend who wanted to move away for an opportunity and he broke up with me to go because he said that he wasn't sure what would happen and he didn't believe in long distance relationship. I tried to tell him I'd go with him but he wasn't hearing it.. Now I'm not psychic I don't know what he was REALLY thinking, but I can guess. To me the truth was he wasn't all that in love with me and he wanted to try something new whithout the stress of a person getting in the way, and he was probably on the lookout for another girl that might fit the bill of his dreams better. OR he really didn't want to drag me into something unsure and make me miserable. 

What I do know is fast forward years later he comes back to town and what does he do? Tracks his ex girlfriend down (that's me), except I'm not even close to caring anymore though I do wish him well..  

What's this story supposed to say? That life isn't about restrictions and behaving a certain way, it's about taking risks and making decisions and more importantly letting people you love make their own damn decisions. A part of me believes the ex did care for me but would not let me make my own choice to go with him or not, and now he's still alone and I'm long gone. 

[Sheylan]

Wierd double post, the site is all messed up today.

Modifié par Sheylan, 01 novembre 2009 - 11:34 .

[BECC4]

I already know the cosmic forces are out to screw me over, DA:O release date was set for 23rd Oct(in UK) which also happens to be the same date my school broke up for 1wk half-term.........lo and behold release gets pushed back 2wks, grr, yes I'm still bitter!

[fairandbalancedfan]

I'm sure you can wait a few days. Getting serious, making your wife happy is more important than a game.

[Phnx]

I live in Europe, so I have to to wait two days longer. How 'bout that?!

[gam3rguy5565]

About the topic of plans being thwarted, time is also against us all.

Had to set the clocks back an hour, that means we all have to wait ONE MORE HOUR to get the game (

[Pyrofire430]

My GF said she wasn't going to have class that day. So instead of having 5 hours of time to play the game before having to pick her up from class, i may get 1-2 hours before i have to hang out with her. Last night i had to trade her a "Night on the town" just so i could get those extra hours back. I normally don't put a game before my GF, but i've been waiting for this freaking game for months and she won't let me play game while she's around.

[Halfcab]

xGruvdogx wrote...

I have mysterious forces conspiring against my getting the game.

I had the game pre-ordered for xbox 360: so of course I got rrod.

I switch my order to pc and think to myself "now all i have to do is live through the weekend" and bam : H1N1 ( i think)

i predict i will die sometime before tuesday morning.

I gots teh H1N1 also, but I'm still gonna play, even if I infect the whole ****ing gamestop when I pick up my preorder.

[CaitlynRoe]

Well, my typical workday routine involves getting home from a 9-10 hour shift, watching my baby while my husband cooks, eating dinner, having about an hour to 2 hours rest/baby interacting time, then getting my baby settled in for the night, then me settled in for the night, then going to bed (unfortunately I need 8-9 hours sleep to feel my best). So, I don't intend to get a good play session in until Friday after work and next weekend. However, my husband said he will watch the baby and even take him into the computer room and we can all (my husband, son and I) can hang out while I play!

[Shattered Shield]

Pyrofire430 wrote...

My GF said she wasn't going to have class that day. So instead of having 5 hours of time to play the game before having to pick her up from class, i may get 1-2 hours before i have to hang out with her. Last night i had to trade her a "Night on the town" just so i could get those extra hours back. I normally don't put a game before my GF, but i've been waiting for this freaking game for months and she won't let me play game while she's around.

i feel ur pain man....cept my gf is a gamer and shes more likely to kick me off so SHE can play DAO.....and i cant say a word cuz sleepin on the couch wouldnt be fun

[l_gumdrop]

Anyone who suggests divorce (right now) as a fix hasn't been through the divorce process. Talk about a time sink. Oh, and a money sink, too. (Oh, and there's the whole emotional thing regardless of who did what when...but that's an individual experience, so one person can't speak to all possible experiences [which, of course, is true of most any situation].)



Oh, and I'm back after a long absence. I had very little time to do much of anything fun overall, but now my time is my own again (aside from work, of course, and I have to admit that I LOVE my work), so here I am! I'm so EAGER to get started on this game, it's not even funny!

[Carrok7]

The reason that I'm single is because of that I have complete and total personal "Freedom" and very much free time in my life.

[Carrok7]

The reason that I'm single is because of that I have complete and total personal "Freedom" and very much free time in my life.

[Carrok7]

The reason that I'm single is because of that I have complete and total personal "Freedom" and very much free time in my life.