141 réponses à ce sujet

[LazyDaisy]

Hello Shadow,

Thank you for posting the reminder link on the other thread.  Here are my entry details.

Count to Five
Author: LazyDaisy
Constructive Criticism Requested: Blog comments welcome.
Synopsis: He was a sword. His mind and body hardened with discipline, he found and used the shadows.  He controlled the field of battle as completely as he controlled himself.  An instrument of justice, his one conceit that death came so quickly that his target never felt pain.  Today would be no different.  Today the price of betrayal would be paid.

Modifié par LazyDaisy, 28 janvier 2012 - 05:39 .

[wangxiuming]

Many thanks to Shadow for compiling and assembling this thread!

Title: Blood of the Tranquil
Author: wangxiuming
Constructive Criticism Requested: Yes, please!
Synopsis: In the tumult of a city on the brink of war, an apprentice desperately tries to escape Tranquility.

Edit: Links were not linking to the right links! >_<

Modifié par wangxiuming, 28 janvier 2012 - 05:56 .

[soozling]

Blood to Ashes (http://www.fanfictio.../Blood_to_Ashes)
Author: soozling 
Constructive Criticism Requested: Yes.
Synopsis: As the hunt for an errant blood mage begins, a templar discovers his quarry is a close friend from his past. Driven by honor and fueled by rage, he vows he will be the one to free her from her demons—even if it means ending her life with his bare hands.

Modifié par soozling, 28 janvier 2012 - 09:15 .

[ColorMeSuprised]

BrennaCeDria wrote...

Yay, was hoping you'd say okay to being added! I was just about to message you and flat-out ask!

Your request somehow got lost in the other thread and I don't check here particularly regularly.

(That does sound strange what I wrote just now...)

[Inyri_Ascending]

Title: Dragon Age: Dissension (on AO3: archiveofourown.org/works/325405)
Author: Inyri_Ascending
Constructive Criticism Requested: Yes, please!
Synopsis: To keep the world safe from magic, we Templars do terrible things in the
name of the Maker- but perhaps some rules are not as clear as I once
believed, and the unrest born of the ashes of Kirkwall’s chantry
threatens to burn us all.

Modifié par Inyri_Ascending, 28 janvier 2012 - 04:11 .

[Krissinter]

The Hunt ((http://social.biowar...25/blog/211185/))
Author: Krissinter
Constructive Criticism Requested: Yes, please with sugar in top. =)
Synopsis:
Young Ser Yann and his squad are out for a routine mission nowadays- in these days of rebellion. Their mission is twofold- apprehending 2 deadly mages as well as recovering 2 templars who have deserted the Chantry. But when they are discovered in the same vicinity, Yann must put his faith in the Maker-- -or something- with bitter fervor and hope to rescue the templars, and get him through this darkest of nights....

Much obliged for compiling the stories.  I've read some that are fantastic!

[Cohesion]

Title: Resolve (http://www.fanfictio...80729/1/Resolve)
Author: Cohesion
Constructive Criticism Required: Yes, please
Synopsis: There comes a time in every person's life that tests the limits of their resolve, a collision of ideology and circumstance. The world falls away and, for a moment, their true character can be gleaned. An act of extremism, born from centuries of dogmatic persecution, ignites an entire city, and, against this backdrop, the oppressed draw lines in the sand, ready to stand and face their future with uncertainty. Faith against will; desire against reason; temptation against resolve. These moments mirror the soul's truest nature, and one man is poised to face the revelation that such clarity brings with it.

Modifié par Cohesion, 28 janvier 2012 - 09:06 .

[Shadow of Light Dragon]

Updated

56 entries so far.

[The_11thDoctor]

OK, I'll post mine here as well!

Title: Dragon Age classifications Submission: (social.bioware.com/616669/blog/211188/)

Full Story: (social.bioware.com/616669/blog/211189/ hakumen001.dreamwidth.org/)

Author: Aang001
Constructive Criticism: Yes
Synopsis: This is a story about discovering new warrior classes and lines beginning to blur on what is acceptable in the minds of the current generation. After the fall of The Circle in Kirkwall, new alliances are formed as the threats of abused power runs rampant in Thedas. Follow Mcalaster Knox, a mage that became a knight in order to form his own style of fighting. The Arcane Warrior! As his town is being destroyed by blood mages, he forms an alliance with a beautiful templar not knowing what they got themselves into.

Hope everyone reads it and gives some feedback! Genres:  Action, Romance, Comedy, Horror

Modifié par aang001, 29 janvier 2012 - 12:19 .

[BrennaCeDria]

Just wanted to say I'll be doing the three reviews for constructive crit exchanges that I've already promised at some point today, and am willing to take on two one more for tonight if anyone else is interested. Post here or PM me how to find your story (assuming it's not already listed on this thread) and how you'd prefer to receive your review (email, PM, ff.net review or blog comment, etc).



Edit: wangxiuming, I saw your review on ff.net, so I'm automatically adding you to tonight's list!

Edit 2: Aenne's and Wyl's reviews done. SadDragon's and wangxiuming's coming in a few hours. Still one more slot for comment exchanges tonight, if anyone's interested.

Modifié par BrennaCeDria, 29 janvier 2012 - 11:02 .

[Shadow of Light Dragon]

Updated

[Will Shred]

Unbound Wings (http://www.fanfictio...1/Unbound_Wings)
Author: Will Shred
Constructive Criticism Requested: Yes
Synopsis: Without Maurevar Carver, Malcolm Hawke never fathers the Champion. The story of what led a templar to aid a mage's escape, a decision that would have far reaching consequences a generation later.

Modifié par Will Shred, 30 janvier 2012 - 02:41 .

[BrennaCeDria]

Will Shred wrote...

Unbound Wings (http://www.fanfictio...1/Unbound_Wings)
Author: Will Shred
Constructive Criticism Requested: Yes
Synopsis: Without Maurevar Carver, Malcolm Hawke never fathers the Champion. The story of what led a templar to aid a mage's escape, a decision that would have far reaching consequences a generation later.

I approve this fic.

[Faerloch]

Oh, I moved my story to my blog, would you mind updating the link?

http://social.biowar...32/blog/211209/

Thanks a bunch!

[Serwayn Fletcher]

Title: The Templar's Price
Author: Serawyn Fletcher
Criticism: Bring it!

Synopsis:
Ser Ladrimore, a Templar returning to Ferelden after helping to quell
the Qu'nari Insurrection in Kirkwall, awakens to find that his camp has
been destroyed by a rogue band of darkspawn, and himself mortally
wounded. Ladrimore, offered a choice between death and salvation by the
Apostate, Flemeth, values his survival enough to incur a life debt. The
price seems simple: deliver the elf mage Ladrimore was pursuing before
the darkspawn attack to Flemeth, instead of to the Circle.  However, as
Ferelden’s legends have long forewarned, no bargain with a Witch of the
Wilds is ever truly as it first seems.

[Nenalata]

Title: Withdraw
Author: Nenalata
Constructive Criticism Requested: Yes, please! 'Twould be much appreciated!
Synopsis: The old one cups his face with a too-tight hand and talons sinking
into his chin. "Now do you realize you shouldn't have mocked us?" she rasps, spittle flying into his eyes. "Now do you realize you should have feared us?"
He never did. He always had.
"Nod," she tells him. His muscles are too weak to fight against her vicelike grip. "Nod!" she shouts again, slapping him with a palm sizzling with lightning.
His fear of pain overrides his fear of death, need for lyrium, need for food, desire for death.
Maker damn him, he nods.

Modifié par Nenalata, 31 janvier 2012 - 02:47 .

[Miri1984]

Title: Sounds and Silence
Constructive Criticism: ALWAYS WELCOME.
Author: Miri1984
Words: 1764
Synopsis: A templar must watch over all aspects of mage life — and must be trained to deal with every eventuality. Some believe their duty is to care and protect, others believe it is to watch and wait. Yet however any one templar might define her duty, the order dictates that a mage is always unknown. Always.

Modifié par Miri1984, 01 février 2012 - 02:57 .

[Bethadots]

Title: Jinx
Author: Bethadots
Constructive Criticism: always welcome
Synopsis: Jacob "Jinx" Caldwell is a circle apprentice in Kirkwall who just happens to be doomed. Since the day he was brought to the Gallows he has never successfully cast a spell, and everyone knows that his future has little in store but the rite of tranquility. The inevitable is coming, and Jinx is going to make the best of the time he has. For him that means making mischief and stealing what pleasures he can. There is nothing to lose.

Modifié par Bethadots, 01 février 2012 - 03:11 .

[OatsMalone1]

Architect link
Author: OatsMalone1
CC Requested: Yes
Synopsis: The words of Aileen Westlake, apostate, explaining why she left the Ferelden Circle.

[DiBernsGB]

Ok, finally got it all to work. Thanks, Shadow, for starting and maintaining this thread!

The Seeker's Dream social.bioware.com/483057/blog/211234/
Author: DiBerns
Constructive Criticism Requested: Yes
Synopsis: A grizzled Seeker of Truth comes face to face with a phantom of his past at Val Royeaux's White Spire. There, he will confront the demon that changed his life forever and set him on the path of service to the Chantry of Light.

Modifié par DiBernsGB, 01 février 2012 - 08:26 .

[Scary Lady]

OK, having finally worked out that half my game registrations were inexplicably awol and this was why I couldn't post a comment... 

Title: Powerless 

Author:  Scary Lady

Word Count: 2500

Summary:

For six generations the Laurentius family bred true; mage marrying mage to create a line of powerful Magisters.  In Tevinter high society, if one is not a mage, then one is a liability, at the mercy of predatory Magisters
and their… pets.

At fifteen, Livia Laurentius - daughter of Magister Lucretius and his powerful wife Cornelia - has
demonstrated not a single spark of magic.  Her future hangs in the balance; her parents are a hairsbreadth from
sending her to Orlais for her own safety.

Lucretius sees no alternative, but Cornelia has an audacious idea.

It’s time for drastic measures.

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7795465/1/

EDITED:  After 24 hours of 'story cannot be found', FF have finally got
their act together.  Apologies to anyone who tried and failed to follow
the link.  It should be fine now.  *crosses fingers*

Modifié par Scary Lady, 02 février 2012 - 08:39 .

[ColorMeSuprised]

Looks like you have a lot to do now, SoLD.

Modifié par ColorMeSuprised, 01 février 2012 - 09:54 .

[Greer]

Title: Harrowing (http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7796228/1/)
Author: Greer
Constructive Criticism: Yes, please!
Summary: A Harrowing gone terribly wrong leads Templar Carver to examine the differences between how the Circle instructs mages and how his father taught his sisters.

[Cerelinde]

Beyond These Pages (social.bioware.com/394795/blog/211237/)
Author: Cerelinde
Constructive Criticism Requested: Sure - be gentle!
Synopsis: (I am terrible at synopses!) Senior Enchanter Marielle understands books and words better than
anything else.  Learning drives her, feeds her passion for magic.  Her
hunger to understand makes her an anomaly: she chose to enter the Tower
as a child, and her only loyalty is to the Circle.  When she must
investigate a threat within the Tower that endangers what she holds most
dear, what will she discover?

[Sandtigress]

 I just created a new fanfiction.net community for all the story entries.  You can find the link here .  That way, all the stories are easy to find on ff.net for people who want to look!  If, for whatever reason, you don't want your story in that community, please said me a message saying so (I'm more likely to catch a PM than a post here).  Otherwise, I was just planning on going down SoLD's list and adding all the ones that I found on ff.net thus far.

If you later add yours, send me a PM and let me know!  Otherwise, I'll try and keep an eye out for random stories on ff.net marked as Asunder stories but perhaps not publicized anywhere else.  

Congrats to everyone for their hard work, whether you made the cut or not!  You got your story out there, and that is really saying alot.  I just wanted to make it easier for everyone to find your work even if they're not here on BSN!