141 réponses à ce sujet

[biomar]

Dragon Age: Deception http://social.biowar...77/blog/211255/
Author: biomar
Constructive Criticism Requested: Yes
Synopsis: Ever since a mage killed his father, Knight-Commander Gilles Rodigeaux has hated mages more than the average Templar. But Gilles is about to find out that his hatred is powerful enough to unearth deceptions old and new. Secrets will be revealed, lives will be lost and the price of justice will be questioned in Dragon Age: Deception.

Modifié par biomar, 04 février 2012 - 03:17 .

[Ninebits]

Title: To Represent an Order: http://archiveofouro...rg/works/331501
Author: Ninebits
Constructive Criticism Requested: Either way's fine.
Synopsis: In the years following the Fifth Blight, the growing animosity between templars and mages has not been overlooked by the Circle at Nevarra City -- along with the need to reinforce trust between the Order and the common people of Thedas. Tasked with a patrol of Nevarra's smaller villages, a young templar named Jakob makes a trip to visit his mother and ailing sister, only to be confronted by a decision he never wanted to make.

[Bethadots]

You're doing a fantastic job, SoLD!

[katiebour]

Death of a Templar
Author:  katiebour
Constructive Criticism Requested: Sure!
Synopsis: 
Ser Roderick has served the Templars in Kirkwall for nigh on forty years.  Fighting apostasy and carrying out the dictates of the Order leave their marks, and the craving for lyrium grows ever stronger.  His mind moving in and out of
clarity, Roderick reflects on his life, his past, and his achievements.

[WhiteKnyght]

Wounded Iris
Author: The Grey Nayr
Synopsis: Iris is a talented mage haunted by the death of her father, an event that brought her to the Circle of Magi. On the eve of her Harrowing, she contemplates the Rite of Tranquility as a release from her emotional suffering. By her side is her mentor Gilroy, her friends Angela and Francois, and Nolan, the love of her life from the Templar Order. Can they persuade her away from his drastic course of action and convince her to face her demons?

Contructive criticism?: Sure, why not.

Modifié par The Grey Nayr, 04 février 2012 - 05:07 .

[dreamnegative]

Darkspawn Emissary Abomination  http://social.biowar...91/blog/211267/
Author: Dreamnegative
Constructive Criticism Requested: Yes
Synopsis: "What has this maleficar done ? Does it have any relevance to why these other templars disappeared?"

Knight Commander Earik explained, "The maleficar in question is a blood mage named Zyrea. She has been known to have demons forcibly possess people and become abominations. Recently she has started experimenting on darkspawn , and if she has had a success this would be disastrous. Especially since it can only be speculated about how powerful an abomination that carries the taint can be. I fear that the previous templars I have sent are either dead or enslaved to this blood mage."

[Shadow of Light Dragon]

Updated, along with:

Lackluster
There goes the Neighborhood

[crystanci]

Liberation: http://www.fanfictio...62/1/Liberation
Author: Crystanci
Constructive Criticism Requested: Yes!
Synopsis: A Templar is charged with escorting two apostates back to Kirkwall after they fled Ferelden.

[Shadow of Light Dragon]

Updated

[ladyofpayne]

Please tell me who get 1-3 place.

[jackkel dragon]

ladyofpayne wrote...

Please tell me who get 1-3 place.

http://blog.bioware....inning-entries/

[CuriousArtemis]

Hey guys ... anyone get a review on their story by someone called "Writers'LoungeBSN"? I was wondering if it's something to do with this thread. Kind of a bizarre review.

[Scary Lady]

motomotogirl wrote...

Hey guys ... anyone get a review on their story by someone called "Writers'LoungeBSN"? I was wondering if it's something to do with this thread. Kind of a bizarre review.

Nope, not me.  However, I'm curious now...  Bizarre how?

[CuriousArtemis]

Scary Lady wrote...

Nope, not me.  However, I'm curious now...  Bizarre how?

It seemed bound and determined to help me "improve."

That would be okay (if a bit cheeky lol) if the suggestions were practical and thoughtful.  But they were more about ... wanting me to rework the story completely so that it suited this reader's personal taste.  S/he seems to prefer action/adventure as opposed to ... I guess, slice of life?

For example, s/he writes, "For improvement, I would suggest trying to inject more emotion into the story..."  The main character is supposed to be very dispassionate though.  I think a better review would be "I had trouble connecting with the main character and don't understand why he was so unemotional" instead of just saying "inject more emotion into it; that would make it better" lol

I'm not saying it was bad, and I thank the person for his/her review; it's just, I've never seen a review like that, and if it were an official sort of review (which the username led me to wonder about), then it seemed strangely unprofessional.  

Just an odd review.  And the username made me think it might have something to do with this thread.

EDIT: And I will add that because the "suggestions" were so specific, and seemed to be pushing towards a certain writing style (more action-oriented sword and sorcery fantasy) that I even wondered if it were by an official writer/judge for the contest.  Sort of like "This is what you should have written to win."

Modifié par motomotogirl, 21 février 2012 - 05:55 .

[Scary Lady]

motomotogirl wrote...

...I even wondered if it were by an official writer/judge for the contest.  Sort of like "This is what you should have written to win."

I doubt that very much, as the winner's tale was rather gentle and subtle.  Utterly unlike what you are describing.

[wangxiuming]

A bunch of participants (including me!) in the Asunder competition migrated over to the Writer's Lounge thread after the competition was over, sort of a group for constructive criticism. I would guess that one of the people from that thread read your story and wrote a review. I doubt that it's from someone on staff at Bioware, though I guess we can't know who's hiding behind all the usernames on BSN.

Just take it as the opinion of another BSN user. You don't have to agree with them, but they did take the time to read your story, and then tried to provide helpful feedback. 

Modifié par wangxiuming, 22 février 2012 - 03:14 .

[CuriousArtemis]

wangxiuming wrote...

Just take it as the opinion of another BSN user. You don't have to agree with them, but they did take the time to read your story, and then tried to provide helpful feedback. 

Oh my dear, don't think I don't appreciate that; I did say I didn't think it was a bad thing that someone left such a review.  Just if it was truly some sort of "official" review it struck me as odd because it was basically disagreeing with me on a matter of genre and not style.

So I don't mind someone, another reader and amateur writer, saying they thought it should have had more action or what have you; it's totally fine that someone have a personal preference.  And I did say I would take comments and critiques when I signed up for this thread.

It is not the way I personally would have framed a critique, but not a big deal.