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[Some Geth]

[Some Geth]

Oh Christ, I was rummaging through my google documents page which I haven't used in ages, and I stumbled upon this gem I copied from somewhere on AdultFanFiction.net (I was searching for badfic for Godawful Fanfiction, back when it existed).

I was originally going to try to follow the guidelines in the lulziest way possible, but it was too hard so I quit (unfortunately the page doesn't seem to exist anymore)

Naruto-Story Series  

CHALLENGE WRITERS’ REQUIREMENTS  

Story structure must include:  

1. Balanced Genres: Mystery/Romance/Action/Drama/Angst. Where one genre doesn’t take control of the story.
2. At the least three, maximum six balanced genre conflicts. For instance: Sasuke’s betrayal is a moral and action conflict, while Naruto’s growth is a Drama conflict. Cover at least the following conflicts: moral, political, societal and philosophical.
3. Multiple Points of View – For instance Naruto’s point of view and Kakashi’s point of view on different events. Please make sure to clearly indicate whose point of view it is.
4. Three/fourths of each chapter must be written in first person (ex: I and my… etc.) instead of third Person (ex: Naruto and Sasuke went to… etc.)
5. A good vocabulary is a must.
6. When describing things like hair color or clothing instead of listing it write it like this: Naruto dragged his hand through his long golden hair with a sigh.  

7. Please remember to have the character interact with the scenery. Like when Naruto’s in The Hokage’s office he toys with one of the Sandaime’s stuff on his desk.
8. Original Characters are fine as long as their not the main character. Original characters work best as the nemesis or as a teacher.
9. Develop all character’s personalities through first person and their thoughts.
10. Try to analyze accurate responses to events that your characters are involved in and not just what keeps the story going.  
1. Naruto must be related to or granted the lesser powers of the Shinigami (Not Bleach (Manga or Anime) powers, must be original)
2. Older Male x Naruto or Multiple older males x Naruto in a Romantic and Sexual relationship
3. Time Travel
4. Naruto has an Original Kekkei Genkai or multiple ones
5. Naruto must have enhanced senses and the ability to identify Chakra easily
6. Absolute Chakra control
7. He must use Sebons
8. He must be intelligent, but not a genius. He’s got street smarts rather than book smarts. He should be perceptive when it comes to human nature, he must be cunning and deceptive, while retaining his loyalty and kindness.
9. Naruto must make his own jutsus, which you must describe in detail . He must have a way to prevent the Sharingan from copying them may it be he can do one handed seals or he uses demonic chakra or his own blood
10. Haku never met Zabuza and never became his tool, instead he’s a wondering Shinobi, who helps the poor, weak and abused
11. Haku must be at least 5 years older than Naruto
12. Itachi must either of been framed for the murder of his clan or survived the murder and stayed in Konoha of his clan along with Sasuke and Shisui
13. Shisui must survive the clan’s murder along with Itachi ad Sasuke
14. The clan must be killed by Uchiha Fugaku, Sasuke’s and Itachi’s father 15. Sasuke must have a twin brother or both a twin brother and twin sister (the twin/the twins can or can not have survived the clan’s murder – that’s up to you!)
16. Naruto must be in contact with the other eight hosts, but not the leader of them
17. Naruto must hide behind a mask, not for survival or because of anger, but because he likes people underestimating him and because he thinks it is funny
18. There must be creative NEW ORIGINAL Character enemies
19. Orochimaru must have be infatuated romantically with either Jiraiya or Namikaze Minato, the Yondaime Hokage
20. Naruto must be a seals mater – you must describe his seals and how high ranking he is
21. Naruto must be raised by a an original clan, not the Hyugas, Uchihas, Inuzukas or the Yamanaka
22. Naruto must be able to shape-shift – he gets this from Kyuubi’s chakra
23. Naruto must study healing and learn a more powerful method of Medic Nin fighting similar to Kabuto’s style 24. Kyuubi’s chakra must not be hurting Naruto
25. Naruto must meet Itachi ad travel with Haku at some point
26. Naruto must be politically savvy and speak many languages
27. Tsunade can not be the Hokage either an Original character or Asuma must be
28. If Sasuke does run away to Orochimaru, Orochimaru must get Sasuke pregnant –I’m a vengeful b!tch and if Sasuke’s going f**k up and nearly kill Naruto, he’s going to get it bad
29. Naruto must be sort of religious like Dou Maxwell from Gundam Wing, but it’s not completely obvious
30. The Kyuubi freed himself from Naruto, when Naruto was five and abandoned Naruto. The Kyuubi must have been forced to leave his ultimate chakra source behind in Naruto. The Kyuubi must return and like Naruto sexually. Naruto and Kyuubi might be the pairing or may not be. It may just be one-sided.
31. The Kyuubi must be male
32. The Kyuubi must have attacked Konoha because he was experimented on while in his human form causing him to go mad temporarily
33. The must be different Genin teams
34. Their training must be better
35. Naruto can’t get drunk or poisoned because of Kyuubi’s chakra  

Can include (but not Mandatory):  
1. Male Pregnancy
2. Naruto creates his own Kekkei Genkai or multiple Kekkei Genkai
3. Naruto can be the son of two males: Kakashi x Yondaime, Orochimaru x Yondaime, Jiraiya x Yondaime, Sandaime x Yondaime, Asuma x Yondaime, Nara Shikaku x Yondaime or the Yondaime Kazekage x the Yondaime Hokage
4. Naruto can be the son of: The Yondaime x female Uzumaki, The Yondaime x Anko, The Yondaime x Tsunade, The Yondaime x Kurenai, The Yondaime x Rin, Orochimaru x Tsunade, Orochimaru x Anko, Orochimaru x female Uzumaki or Orochimaru x Kurenai
5. Naruto can be the son of two or three fathers (must not have Kekkei Genkai) and one mother 6. Can include graphic sex scenes
7. Naruto can be like Haku and become while away from his team a defender of the weak and abused
8. Naruto having a different summoning
9. Naruto can have remaining family, but no siblings. He may have half siblings or cousins, but no siblings
10. There can be dance clubs and bars in this in which he meets up with the other demon hosts  

Can not include:  
1. Naruto can not have a Kekkei Genkai that copies other Kekkei Genkai or that is like the Sharingan and that manipulates time or the elements. The Kekkei Genkai can also not enhance the body.
2. Naruto as an ANBU or a Hunter Nin or the Hokage
3. Naruto’s dream can not be to be the Hokage
4. He can not use a sword
5. Sai and ROOTS can not exist
6. Naruto may not know the Kage Bushin and scroll incident did not happen  

:BOOK 01:: The Dark God’s Son Series: Element of Death
::BOOK 02:: The Dark God’s Son Series: Blade of Souls
::BOOK 03:: The Dark God’s Son Series: Sealing Destiny
::BOOK 04:: The Dark God’s Son Series: Dealings with Demons
::BOOK 05:: The Dark God’s Son Series: At the tip of a Blade

And here were my preliminary ideas for actually fulfilling these stipulations.

Each chapter is exactly one-fourth third person. I'm combining this stipulation with the stipulation for shifting character perspective, because badfic authors don't seem to understand that that's a fundamental aspect of all writing. I will be ignoring every stipulation I don't understand (what the hell is a "balanced genre conflict"?), but every other stipulation I will adhere to faithfully. Also, each "book" will be the length of a chapter, because I simply cannot be assed to write that much. I'm not that much of an a-hole. I have no idea who Dou Maxwell is, so his religiosity is gone. And what does "their training must be better" mean? More intense? More results? What?  

Mystery -- Discovering Kyuubi's sad, sad story  

Romance -- Orochimaru and Naruto both luv Jiraiya  

Action -- Naruto's time seal mastery against shadowy new opponents!  

Drama -- Sasuke reunited with his long-lost twin!  

Angst -- Sasuke can't ****** hard enough and he cries while wanking  

Naruto:  

*Lesser shinigami powers: power over squirrel mortality  

*Naruto's kekkei-genkai (trapezoid-eye) allows him to make any trapezoid he sees into a time seal, which (if it's large enough) he can step into to travel in time  

*Naruto's new, superoriginal jutsu-- chidorigan!  

"The sharingan can't copy this attack!"
"Why?"
"Because I'll never use it against a Sharingan user!"  

*Naruto wears an ANBU mask, which Hokage Asuma is chasing him after  

*Naruto meets the other Jinchuuriki at Club Jinchuuriki, which is a cave with a disco ball in it.

*Uzumaki clan-- their kekkei genkai-- Kyuubi chakra doesn't hurt them from inside (Naruto is the first clan member where this is relevant)  

*Tutored by Sakura  

*Naruto meets Itachi at the Jinchuuriki Club, where he bartends.  

*Naruto travels with Haku because he's assigned there since he's such a high-ranking seals master.  

*Naruto speaks Haku's language of vague creepiness, and also knows body language fluently.  

*Kyuubi bursts forth from Naruto's belly-button when he submitted to a moment of weakness and wanks. His bond with Sasuke increases.  

*Kyuubi's rampant horniness is a side-effect of Orochimaru's experiments. He *sniff* couldn't help himself from attempting to slaughter an entire village!  

*Haku helps the poor and downtrodden by encasing their brains in ice cubes  

*Sasuke, Shisui and Itachi are all completely innocent, and form a barbershop quartet with Tobi  

*Uchiha Fugaku is... Zetsu! AAAAAAH!!!

Modifié par Some Geth, 17 novembre 2012 - 08:31 .

[Some Geth]

I love how she is okay with male pregnancy but she will draw the line at Sai existing.

Modifié par Some Geth, 17 novembre 2012 - 08:34 .

[Some Geth]

I'm still hung on the fact they want stuff like Sasuke's long lost twin brother and other equally apocalyptically awful ideas but the idea of Sai actually existing in a Naruto fanfiction is just not allowed.

I like how her vision of Naruto that`s more to her liking is so removed from canon that, really, in what way would this be Naruto anymore.

[Some Geth]

I got "broken" well before the BSN. I mean, I was in the Naruto fandom at one point, but that was a very long time ago.

That and everything else I like has a creepy fandom or just creepy parts.

Modifié par Some Geth, 18 novembre 2012 - 12:23 .

[Some Geth]

Yes.

Snape f**ks the Teletubbies(that was at least made for lulz), all the cartoons you liked as kid have a sh!tty fan art.

It's why I don't get why people b!tch about the MLP fandom, I am 99% sure someone thought MLP was sexy before it even got a good show. So it should come as no surprise that some of the fandom is f**ked up.

Modifié par Some Geth, 18 novembre 2012 - 12:32 .

[soultaker65]

That list is one of the main reasons I don't read naruto fanfics anymore. Between most of the stuff on that list and the fandom "council" naruto fanfics are impossible to read.

Anyway has anyone watched Chaos Head? I've watched the first six episodes and it doesn't seem like it's going anywhere.
I was thinking about dropping it, but I heard it has some links to Steins Gate.
So should I finish Chaos Head and then watch Steins Gate or skip Chaos Head and just watch Steins Gate?

Modifié par soultaker65, 18 novembre 2012 - 02:08 .

[Some Geth]

I have never read a good fanfiction because there is no such thing as a good fanfiction.

No wait, I am somewhat wrong, I have read some good parodies but that's it.

[Ghost Lightning]

Some Geth wrote...

suzuki? is that you?!

[The Hierophant]

Lmao @ all the fan-fic.

[Lotion Soronarr]

I wil lsay ti again:

GHOST STORIES



If you haven't watched the english dub you don't desrve to live.

[eroeru]

soultaker65 wrote...

That list is one of the main reasons I don't read naruto fanfics anymore. Between most of the stuff on that list and the fandom "council" naruto fanfics are impossible to read.

Anyway has anyone watched Chaos Head? I've watched the first six episodes and it doesn't seem like it's going anywhere.
I was thinking about dropping it, but I heard it has some links to Steins Gate.
So should I finish Chaos Head and then watch Steins Gate or skip Chaos Head and just watch Steins Gate?

Haven't watched Chaos;Head (yet) - but from what I've seen and heard, you're better off starting with Steins;Gate. Moreso, that's all you'll probably want to watch from the "trilogy" of C;H, S;G and Robotics;Notes.

It's not an actual trilogy - they're just works from the same companies, and originally video games.

Modifié par eroeru, 18 novembre 2012 - 09:29 .

[Some Geth]

J. Reezy wrote...

Worst game of dodgeball ever. Only an idiot lets the ball hit them in the face

Hunter x Hunter did it better. 

Modifié par Some Geth, 19 novembre 2012 - 12:39 .

[eroeru]

That's pretty boring if you ask me.

Ugh... The things they did with the series after the original run came to an end... ugh.

[Some Geth]

eroeru wrote...

That's pretty boring if you ask me.

Ugh... The things they did with the series after the original run came to an end... ugh.

Yeah, how dare they still adapt the manga!

But I do have a feeling that the new show will be better when it comes to the Greed Island arc.

Modifié par Some Geth, 19 novembre 2012 - 01:34 .