1294 réponses à ce sujet

[AVPen]

Yuoaman wrote...

And the injustice that made you so passionate about the human cause that you were transformed from the equivalent of raw ore into a finished blade.

Dammit, TIM, that's the worst way to present Kai Leng's case.

God, I think that is one of the worst written sentences I've seen in a long while. 

A better way of writting that sentence would be:


"And the injustices that you witnessed, that made you so dedicated and passioned to the cause of humanity... those are the things that transformed you. From raw ore... into a sharp and finished blade."

Modifié par AVPen, 25 janvier 2012 - 06:04 .

[Yuoaman]

didymos1120 wrote...

Oh, the Red Torc gang is about as intimidating as the @#$%ing Jets in West Side Story.

I'll be honest, the first time I saw it I thought it said "Red Torque", which would have been even more silly. Maybe.

[didymos1120]

As you know, it's perfectly natural for Hendel and Anderson to act like they know one another even though they've never met.

[Yuoaman]

AVPen wrote...

Yuoaman wrote...

And the injustice that made you so passionate about the human cause that you were transformed from the equivalent of raw ore into a finished blade.

Dammit, TIM, that's the worst way to present Kai Leng's case.

God, I think that is one of the worst written sentences I've seen in a long while. 

A better way of writting that sentence would be:


"And the injustices that you witnessed, that made you so dedicated and passioned to the cause of humanity... those are the things that transformed you. From raw ore... into a sharp and finished blade."

"And those injustices which made you so passionate to our cause, the human cause, they are what forged the raw ore that you were into a finished blade."

Sad that anything we wrote would be better, really.

[Yuoaman]

didymos1120 wrote...

As you know, it's perfectly natural for Hendel and Anderson to act like they know one another even though they've never met.

Perfectly.

[Walker White]

AVPen wrote...

Yuoaman wrote...

And the injustice that made you so passionate about the human cause that you were transformed from the equivalent of raw ore into a finished blade.

Dammit, TIM, that's the worst way to present Kai Leng's case.

God, I think that is one of the worst written sentences I've seen in a long while. 

That is not a sentence.  It is a noun clause; the "thats" after "the injustice" are both dependent clauses.  I gave up on this book after the prologue because of this horrid writing -- but this thread has been funny.

[AVPen]

^Ah, you'll have to forgive me, I haven't taken a writing course since college, so I'm not that up to snuff on proper writing terminology. 

That said, I know I could write a better novel than this utter damn hack of an "author"... 

Modifié par AVPen, 25 janvier 2012 - 06:13 .

[didymos1120]

I hope at some point in ME3 TIM says "And Kai? No breakfast cereal. We can't afford distractions. The future of humanity is at stake."

Modifié par didymos1120, 25 janvier 2012 - 06:13 .

[Yuoaman]

Is Gillian really that stupid? To basically get surgery from a shady guy in a bad part of town? REALLY?

[didymos1120]

Yuoaman wrote...

Is Gillian really that stupid? To basically get surgery from a shady guy in a bad part of town? REALLY?

She is now.

[Yuoaman]

didymos1120 wrote...

I hope at some point in ME3 TIM says "And Kai? No breakfast cereal. We can't afford distractions. The future of humanity is at stake."

The sign that Kai Leng is close? Empty cereal boxes. Everywhere.

[Yuoaman]

didymos1120 wrote...

Yuoaman wrote...

Is Gillian really that stupid? To basically get surgery from a shady guy in a bad part of town? REALLY?

She is now.

Apparently Hendel gave her a lobotomy at some point during their stay on the Idenna - it would explain a lot.

[didymos1120]

Kai Leng is an extremist, not to mention a racist. But he sure does like him some salarian curry, he does. And he's fine with that.

[AVPen]

Yuoaman wrote...

didymos1120 wrote...

Yuoaman wrote...

Is Gillian really that stupid? To basically get surgery from a shady guy in a bad part of town? REALLY?

She is now.

Apparently Hendel gave her a lobotomy at some point during their stay on the Idenna - it would explain a lot.

Like the fact that she doesn't read like any kind of character that suppose to have autism.

[Aimi]

didymos1120 wrote...

Kai Leng is an extremist, not to mention a racist. But he sure does like him some salarian curry, he does. And he's fine with that.

Maybe it's a commentary on the BNP?

...nah, that requires "benefit of the doubt"

[SomeKindaEnigma]

didymos1120 wrote...

I hope at some point in ME3 TIM says "And Kai? No breakfast cereal. We can't afford distractions. The future of humanity is at stake."

lol whats with the cereal?  did i miss something in the excerpt?

[Yuoaman]

AVPen wrote...

Yuoaman wrote...

didymos1120 wrote...

Yuoaman wrote...

Is Gillian really that stupid? To basically get surgery from a shady guy in a bad part of town? REALLY?

She is now.

Apparently Hendel gave her a lobotomy at some point during their stay on the Idenna - it would explain a lot.

Like the fact that she doesn't read like any kind of character that suppose to have autism.

Yep. Her lack of autism, her stupidity, and her not knowing her age can all be explained now.

[TMA LIVE]

This is sounding more like the book was made to specifically troll fans.

[What a Succulent Ass]

didymos1120 wrote...

Kai Leng is an extremist, not to mention a racist. But he sure does like him some salarian curry, he does. And he's fine with that.

As you know, this was the best sentence in the excerpt.

[Yuoaman]

SomeKindaEnigma wrote...

didymos1120 wrote...

I hope at some point in ME3 TIM says "And Kai? No breakfast cereal. We can't afford distractions. The future of humanity is at stake."

lol whats with the cereal?  did i miss something in the excerpt?

In the Google Books teaser Kai Leng eats some of Anderson's cereal while he's out for cheap thrills.

[didymos1120]

SomeKindaEnigma wrote...

didymos1120 wrote...

I hope at some point in ME3 TIM says "And Kai? No breakfast cereal. We can't afford distractions. The future of humanity is at stake."

lol whats with the cereal?  did i miss something in the excerpt?

There's a preview on Google books with more material.  Kai breaks into Anderson's pad to bug the place.  Then he hangs out to have some cereal, 'cause he's an adrenaline junkie.  Seriously.  Also, it's some weird territory-marking thing that makes him feel like the place is "his".

Modifié par didymos1120, 25 janvier 2012 - 06:22 .

[didymos1120]

Kai Leng was pals with Hal Mcann? Yeah, I don't @#$%in' think so. Kai isn't the sort who gets chummy with his co-workers.

[didymos1120]

daqs wrote...

didymos1120 wrote...

Kai Leng is an extremist, not to mention a racist. But he sure does like him some salarian curry, he does. And he's fine with that.

Maybe it's a commentary on the BNP?

...nah, that requires "benefit of the doubt"

I mostly brought it up because "salarian curry" sounds goofy.  As does an earlier mention of "asari stir-fry".  They're just so "Oooh, looky: I know me some ME-type words!"

[SomeKindaEnigma]

didymos1120 wrote...

SomeKindaEnigma wrote...

didymos1120 wrote...

I hope at some point in ME3 TIM says "And Kai? No breakfast cereal. We can't afford distractions. The future of humanity is at stake."

lol whats with the cereal?  did i miss something in the excerpt?

There's a preview on Google books with more material.  Kai breaks into Anderson's pad to bug the place.  Then he hangs out to have some cereal, 'cause he's an adrenaline junkie.  Seriously.  Also, it's some weird territory-marking thing that makes him feel like the place is "his".

lol wow...  so much for Kai Leng the badass I knew from Retribution...

[Kasen]

After reading both the excerpt and Didymos's... well, amusing commentary... I can't decide if I should cancel my order of this book, or read it just to watch the trainwreck for myself.