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Mass Effect: Deception Discussion Thread (Updated 2/2/2012) *Now with 30% more links!*


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#5701
wellactually12

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AVPen wrote...

You think the meaningless deaths are bad enough? Here's the utterly pointless Council meeting at the end that changes quite literally nothing: <_<

*snip*


Since when has a council meeting ever changed anything?

#5702
izmirtheastarach

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“Your name.”
“It’s Marisa. Marisa Mendez.”
“My name’s Nick. Nick Donahue.”
“I know. Everyone does.”
“I want to thank you, Marisa. You saved my life.”
Marisa looked down. “It was nothing.”
Nick brought his left hand up under Marisa’s chin. Her eyes met his. He meant to say something but
wound up kissing her instead. Her lips were soft, she smelled like soap, and the pain in his shoulder was momentarily forgotten. It felt good to be alive.


139 pages later:

“Mr. Mitra!”
Nick exclaimed. “What are you doing here? You
killed Marisa!”
Fighting raged all around and Hendel was dimly aware of a ground- shaking BOOM as he propped himself up on his elbows. “Marisa? Was she your girlfriend?”
“Yes, damn you . . . We were going to get married.”


THIS IS EVERY INSTANCE WHERE HER NAME IS MENTIONED.

Sounds like true love to me.

Modifié par izmirtheastarach, 31 janvier 2012 - 06:00 .


#5703
Meteor_VII

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wellactually12 wrote...

I would honestly pay to be in the meeting rooms at Bioware tommorrow.


I would just pay to have a person come out and be honest about it. Tell us that yea we told deitz to just kill off these people and didn't care how it happened. Or the quality of the book.

#5704
Yuoaman

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That Council meeting literally pained me to read - it's so useless and badly written.

#5705
AVPen

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wellactually12 wrote...

AVPen wrote...

You think the meaningless deaths are bad enough? Here's the utterly pointless Council meeting at the end that changes quite literally nothing: <_<

*snip*


Since when has a council meeting ever changed anything?

Well played, sir, well played.

Still doesn't change how f***ing useless it is or how utterly meaningless it is to the ME story, though.

Modifié par AVPen, 31 janvier 2012 - 06:00 .


#5706
didymos1120

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Zhuinden wrote...

The girl was obviously given to him as a means of binding to the Biotic Underground.


God, the Biotic Underground. And I know Dietz thought he was totally being clever by making a groovy Sci-Fi version of the Weather Underground.  The tipoff is the whole bank robbery idiocy.

#5707
Yuoaman

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izmirtheastarach wrote...

“Your name.”
“It’s Marisa. Marisa Mendez.”
“My name’s Nick. Nick Donahue.”
“I know. Everyone does.”
“I want to thank you, Marisa. You saved my life.”
Marisa looked down. “It was nothing.”
Nick brought his left hand up under Marisa’s chin. Her eyes met his. He meant to say something but
wound up kissing her instead. Her lips were soft, she smelled like soap, and the pain in his shoulder was momentarily forgotten. It felt good to be alive.


“Mr. Mitra!”
Nick exclaimed. “What are you doing here? You
killed Marisa!”
Fighting raged all around and Hendel was dimly aware of a ground- shaking BOOM as he propped himself up on his elbows. “Marisa? Was she your girlfriend?”
“Yes, damn you . . . We were going to get married.”


THIS IS EVERY INSTANCE WHERE HER NAME IS MENTIONED.

Sounds like true love to me.



Come on, Dietz, did you really think that was how a good romantic subplot is written?

#5708
HeliusCarthaxis

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izmirtheastarach wrote...

“Your name.”
“It’s Marisa. Marisa Mendez.”
“My name’s Nick. Nick Donahue.”
“I know. Everyone does.”
“I want to thank you, Marisa. You saved my life.”
Marisa looked down. “It was nothing.”
Nick brought his left hand up under Marisa’s chin. Her eyes met his. He meant to say something but
wound up kissing her instead. Her lips were soft, she smelled like soap, and the pain in his shoulder was momentarily forgotten. It felt good to be alive.


“Mr. Mitra!”
Nick exclaimed. “What are you doing here? You
killed Marisa!”
Fighting raged all around and Hendel was dimly aware of a ground- shaking BOOM as he propped himself up on his elbows. “Marisa? Was she your girlfriend?”
“Yes, damn you . . . We were going to get married.”


THIS IS EVERY INSTANCE WHERE HER NAME IS MENTIONED.

Sounds like true love to me.



I think I'm slowly dying here. I've got to go now, but I can't wait to see the state of this thread when I check back in tomorrow...:bandit:

#5709
KnightOfTwo

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This has made me beyond depressed and yet largely satisfied to see that pretty much every gripe about this book is completely and utterly justified. On that note, time to sleep.

#5710
wellactually12

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AVPen wrote...

wellactually12 wrote...

AVPen wrote...

You think the meaningless deaths are bad enough? Here's the utterly pointless Council meeting at the end that changes quite literally nothing: <_<

*snip*


Since when has a council meeting ever changed anything?

Well played, sir, well played.

Still doesn't change how f***ing useless it is or how utterly meaningless it is to the ME story, though.


Its a giant, poorly written, piece of expositional BS.

#5711
Ashira Shepard

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 I don't know why, but I thought I would try to improve it (while not changing the actual events.)

The noise almost deafened him, thundering through the ground beneath his prone body with a terrible shudder. Fighting was never quiet or pretty and anyone who would describe it as the latter needed their head examined.

"Mr. Mitra!"

A voice. A familiar one. Hendel growled and finally forced himself up, leaning on his elbows and leveling his gaze at Nick. The man looked furious, eyes hard and sharp, "what are you doing here? You killed Marisa!"

Hendel frowned, shifting his weight to rest in a kneeling position. "Marisa? Was she your girlfriend?"

"Yes, damn you! We were going to get married..."

"I'm sorry," Hendel spoke through his teeth. "But you brought this on yourself. Remember what Kahlee and I taught you? Those who use their biotic powers to hurt people will pay. It's just a matter of time."

A snarl loosed itself from Nick's throat and he advanced on Hendel, "you bastard. You rotten bastard, first you kill Marisa and then you have the balls to claim that it's my fault!"

Hendel tensed with every step Nick took, his instincts telling him to run; but the irrational part of him won that fight-or-flight war. "Where is Gillian? Is she alive?"

The gun barrel pressed to his forehead spoke far louder than Nick's savage tones, pulled free of it's holster so quickly Hendel had little time to react. For a second he stared up at his soon-to-be murderer's face, only for the shimmer of biotics to smash Nick into the ground like a god's plaything. Nick's finger tightened on the trigger and Hendel gagged on the bullet in his throat, collapsing on the ground. He grasped at his neck, shock making his body tremble, and though trying to yell could only gargle through the blood.

Hendel twitched, head lolling to one side, and through greying vision saw Nick's broken body barely meters from his own. At least the bastards didn't get away with it...


Being awake at 6am without drive to write something productive makes me very bored. 

Modifié par AshiraShepard, 31 janvier 2012 - 06:02 .


#5712
Zhuinden

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I just hope they won't barge in here saying "OH SNAP SPOILERS" and erase the entire thread as a whole. It would be a horrible move, if you ask me.

AshiraShepard wrote...
A COOL REINTERPRETATION


Wow.

Modifié par Zhuinden, 31 janvier 2012 - 06:03 .


#5713
Grey34

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HeliusCarthaxis wrote...

izmirtheastarach wrote...

“Your name.”
“It’s Marisa. Marisa Mendez.”
“My name’s Nick. Nick Donahue.”
“I know. Everyone does.”
“I want to thank you, Marisa. You saved my life.”
Marisa looked down. “It was nothing.”
Nick brought his left hand up under Marisa’s chin. Her eyes met his. He meant to say something but
wound up kissing her instead. Her lips were soft, she smelled like soap, and the pain in his shoulder was momentarily forgotten. It felt good to be alive.


“Mr. Mitra!”
Nick exclaimed. “What are you doing here? You
killed Marisa!”
Fighting raged all around and Hendel was dimly aware of a ground- shaking BOOM as he propped himself up on his elbows. “Marisa? Was she your girlfriend?”
“Yes, damn you . . . We were going to get married.”


THIS IS EVERY INSTANCE WHERE HER NAME IS MENTIONED.

Sounds like true love to me.



I think I'm slowly dying here. I've got to go now, but I can't wait to see the state of this thread when I check back in tomorrow...:bandit:


probably locked 

#5714
wellactually12

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Zhuinden wrote...

I just hope they won't barge in here saying "OH SNAP SPOILERS" and erase the entire thread as a whole. It would be a horrible move, if you ask me.


we'll just rebuild it if so,

and then, like lawyers, we carefully word everything so it fits around the system.

#5715
Yuoaman

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AshiraShepard wrote...

 I don't know why, but I thought I would try to improve it (while not changing the actual events.)


The noise almost deafened him, thundering through the ground beneath his prone body with a terrible shudder. Fighting was never quiet or pretty and anyone who would describe it as the latter needed their head examined.

"Mr. Mitra!"

A voice. A familiar one. Hendel growled and finally forced himself up, leaning on his elbows and leveling his gaze at Nick. The man looked furious, eyes hard and sharp, "what are you doing here? You killed Marisa!"

Hendel frowned, shifting his weight to rest in a kneeling position. "Marisa? Was she your girlfriend?"

"Yes, damn you! We were going to get married..."

"I'm sorry," Hendel spoke through his teeth. "But you brought this on yourself. Remember what Kahlee and I taught you? Those who use their biotic powers to hurt people will pay. It's just a matter of time."

A snarl loosed itself from Nick's throat and he advanced on Hendel, "you bastard. You rotten bastard, first you kill Marisa and then you have the balls to claim that it's my fault!"

Hendel tensed with every step Nick took, his instincts telling him to run; but the irrational part of him won that fight-or-flight war. "Where is Gillian? Is she alive?"

The gun barrel pressed to his forehead spoke far louder than Nick's savage tones, pulled free of it's holster so quickly Hendel had little time to react. For a second he stared up at his soon-to-be murderer's face, only for the shimmer of biotics to smash Nick into the ground like a god's plaything. Nick's finger tightened on the trigger and Hendel gagged on the bullet in his throat, collapsing on the ground. He grasped at his neck, shock making his body tremble, and though trying to yell could only gargle through the blood.

Hendel twitched, head lolling to one side, and through greying vision saw Nick's broken body barely meters from his own. At least the bastards didn't get away with it...


Being awake at 6am without drive to write something productive makes me very bored. 


That's much better, if only the entire book could meet that standard.

#5716
Death By Smiley

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Yuoaman posted a rough draft of my letter suggestion earlier. Here it is again with some typos and such fixed.

To whom it may concern at Bioware

The Mass Effect universe has been a joy for many gamers, as well as fans of science fiction in general. This universe is arguably the most promising science fiction setting since Star Wars. As the creators of this Universe, it is your right to shape it as you see fit. However, as fans of Mass Effect, both the video games and the supplementary novels and comic books, we are very upset with Mass Effect: Deception, the most recent entry in the Mass Effect novel series.

Mass Effect: Deception has many problems. While we as fans could spend time criticizing Dietz writing style, or perhaps nitpick the overarching plot (both of which are subjective items), we are instead upset at the "artistic freedoms" taken by Mr. Dietz in this novel which directly violate the lore of the Mass Effect Universe. A list of inaccuracies has been compiled online at this link:

https://docs.google....?pli=1&sle=true

Admittedly, many of these errors can be nitpicky (such as number 4: Citadel surrounded by stars). However, many of these points are out and out against the lore of both the video games and the previous novels and comics (such as, under characters, Gillian Grayson's autism never being mentioned). While obviously these works are certain to contradict each other in places, the sheer volume and frequency of these errors is completely overwhelming. Even worse are errors where simple editting should have caught (such as Nick aging 3 years in the course of 6 months between this story and Retribution).

Obviously, we as fans are greatly upset to see the Universe that we have come to love being given such a poor treatment. While we understand that the Universe belongs to you to shape, we as fans cannot stand silently by, allowing quality this poor to pass as canon. We understand that contracting out this book, publication, etc. is a vastly expensive process. However, when such effort and finance is spent, it should be done carefully, not haphazardly. To allow works such as this to pass for Mass Effect canon belittles not only the novel series, but the entire Mass Effect universe.

Thus, we as fans ask two things. First, we would ask that Mr. Deitz not be given another chance at writing a Mass Effect novel. The sheer volume of errors and inaccuracies show he doesn't have the same desire to build the Mass Effect universe as his predecessor, Mr. Karpyshyn. He clearly is not invested in the world Bioware worked so hard to create. We would ask that future novels only be undertaken by writers of the Mass Effect video games, or at least writers who are as big of fans of Mass Effect as we are.

Second, we ask that Mass Effect: Deception be disavowed as non-canon. While this may seem meaningless, and would likely hurt sales, we believe Mass Effect deserves better than this. This largely symbolic gesture would show Bioware is rededicating itself to quality control, and will show that Mass Effect isn't just a revenue stream, but a truely inspired and well-crafted creation. By allowing another writer to fix the glaring errors presented, we can hopefully get Mass Effect back on track, and see the Universe continue to grow, even after the completion of the video game trilogy, when Mass Effect 3 releases this March.

We understand there is a lot being asked in this letter. We also understand some of our complaints may seem small. However, we as fans need to be just as responsible to ensure that Mass Effect remains as imaginative as ever going forward. By voicing our complaints, we hope to at minium encourage Bioware and EA to reevaluate just what Mass Effect can offer.

Thank you for your time in this matter.

Sincerely,

[YOUR NAME HERE]

#5717
LadyDrusilla

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I'm not one to complain overmuch, and I enjoyed the first three ME novels, but this really does sound like an utter abomination. To whom do I send that letter asking it to be removed from canonical status?

#5718
Yuoaman

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Hey guys, 79 entries on the list including both errors and oddities, good stuff.

#5719
MissMaster

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HiroVoid wrote...

TheCreeper wrote...

So Kai Leng killed an Autistic 15 year old with a shank, yeah that's the a real badass right there.

Actually, she used a machine to turn herself into an 18 year old, and got over her autism.  She also knew how to use Reave even though she's not an Asari.

Posted Image
http://imageshack.us...sij1qe1h3t.png/

Really now?

Modifié par MissMaster, 31 janvier 2012 - 06:12 .


#5720
Death By Smiley

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Don't know where to send it to yet. Trying to find the best place for it to go to where it's least likely to get ignored.

#5721
ODST 3

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So... who likes the book besides Casey Hudson and Dietz's wife?

#5722
wellactually12

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LadyDrusilla wrote...

I'm not one to complain overmuch, and I enjoyed the first three ME novels, but this really does sound like an utter abomination. To whom do I send that letter asking it to be removed from canonical status?


Anyone and everything we can contact at bioware.

#5723
ForteSJGR

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  *Letter Removed for Length*   



I'll sign the letter.

#5724
AVPen

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A new article on our efforts to catalog all these errors in Deception:
http://www.playeratt...rrors-say-fans/

#5725
Yuoaman

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LadyDrusilla wrote...

I'm not one to complain overmuch, and I enjoyed the first three ME novels, but this really does sound like an utter abomination. To whom do I send that letter asking it to be removed from canonical status?


I would e-mail any of the staff on Mass Effect, or any of the staff on the forum and ask for it to be forwarded.