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Mass Effect: Deception Discussion Thread (Updated 2/2/2012) *Now with 30% more links!*


11391 réponses à ce sujet

#6401
ElitePinecone

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That would take money of course. Large quantities of it. Which was why the biotics and the Grim Skulls were going to rob a bank. And not just any bank. But a bank owned and operated by none other than Aria T’Loak. The Pirate Queen.


The style is maddening. There are full stops everywhere. And not just where they should be, at the end of sentences. But also in the middle of clauses. With random noun phrases tacked on the end as sentences. It makes me feel something. Something that is frustration.

As you know.

#6402
J4N3_M3

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ElitePinecone wrote...

J4N3_M3 wrote...
snip


I'd love to see this done with sentences that start with "And" or "Something". 

The novel has a tendency to break clauses that could be easily linked with commas into separate sentences, and it drove me mad trying to read it. 


inspired by reasoningwithvampires, I can do that 

#6403
LPPrince

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My name. Its William. C. Dietz. I use short sentences. To keep the attention. Of my readers. Opened. Opened. Open.

#6404
J4N3_M3

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centauri2002 wrote...

J4N3_M3 wrote...

Image IPB

i don't think this is considered copyright infringement...


Lore errors aside, there's no excuse for a professional writer producing shoddy prose. D:


I agree. It is one thing to write a bad story. But to write a bad story badly - well that I cannot stomach! 

#6405
KnightOfTwo

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LPPrince wrote...

My name. Its William. C. Dietz. I use short sentences. To keep the attention. Of my readers. Opened. Opened. Open.


Toothbrush. Cereal. Vase. Hotel?

#6406
C9316

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Makes more sense than Deception.

#6407
LPPrince

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KnightOfTwo wrote...

LPPrince wrote...

My name. Its William. C. Dietz. I use short sentences. To keep the attention. Of my readers. Opened. Opened. Open.


Toothbrush. Cereal. Vase. Hotel?


Aria. She is a Level. 3 Biotic pee.

Modifié par LPPrince, 31 janvier 2012 - 03:12 .


#6408
Centauri2002

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LPPrince wrote...

My name. Its William. C. Dietz. I use short sentences. To keep the attention. Of my readers. Opened. Opened. Open.


:lol:

I get artistic style in writing and using sentence structure to evoke emotion and atmosphere but... I'm fairly sure frustration isn't what he should have been going for. >.>

#6409
LPPrince

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centauri2002 wrote...

LPPrince wrote...

My name. Its William. C. Dietz. I use short sentences. To keep the attention. Of my readers. Opened. Opened. Open.


:lol:

I get artistic style in writing and using sentence structure to evoke emotion and atmosphere but... I'm fairly sure frustration isn't what he should have been going for. >.>


Kai Leng. He entered. The door. He ate. Anderson's cereal. Reason is because. He is. An adrenaline junkie. Vase. Vase. Vase.

#6410
crimzontearz

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oh ok....but wait....WHY does he do that???

#6411
roflchoppaz

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Iohanna wrote...

I'm back! And wow, almost 40 pages more since I left! Oh you guys!

I can try my hand at using rofl's avatar for a sig, provided she gives me her permission. :P


Sure, why do you need permission to use a halfassedly done meme pic anyway? Psh.

Anyway, I tried my hand at this, but I'm sure io can do better.

http://desmond.image....png&res=medium

#6412
CDRSkyShepard

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C9316 wrote...

Makes more sense than Deception.


What is that I don't even...

But yeah, it makes more sense.

#6413
Guest_Catch This Fade_*

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C9316 wrote...

Makes more sense than Deception.

"Krogan Uranus" lol

#6414
ElitePinecone

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roflchoppaz wrote...

Iohanna wrote...

I'm back! And wow, almost 40 pages more since I left! Oh you guys!

I can try my hand at using rofl's avatar for a sig, provided she gives me her permission. :P


Sure, why do you need permission to use a halfassedly done meme pic anyway? Psh.

Anyway, I tried my hand at this, but I'm sure io can do better.

http://desmond.image....png&res=medium


I'm travelling in China at the moment and that image hosting site is blocked. 

But I'm gonna add it to my sig on blind faith, and belief in the awesomeness of that original picture.

#6415
CaptainZaysh

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ElitePinecone wrote...

The style is maddening. There are full stops everywhere. And not just where they should be, at the end of sentences. But also in the middle of clauses. With random noun phrases tacked on the end as sentences. It makes me feel something. Something that is frustration. 

As you know.


It's like Hemingway.

A bit.

#6416
roflchoppaz

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ElitePinecone wrote...

I'm travelling in China at the moment and that image hosting site is blocked. 

But I'm gonna add it to my sig on blind faith, and belief in the awesomeness of that original picture.


How's this?

Image IPB

#6417
LPPrince

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Stay classy, China.

Oh wait, maybe they blocked it cause its teasing Leng.

#6418
Iohanna

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roflchoppaz wrote...

Sure, why do you need permission to use a halfassedly done meme pic anyway? Psh.

Anyway, I tried my hand at this, but I'm sure io can do better.

http://desmond.image....png&res=medium


Not just any halfassedly done meme pic. We're talking Dietz's Kai Leng quality here!

I'll be back! :wizard:

#6419
Arcadian Legend

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LPPrince wrote...

KnightOfTwo wrote...

LPPrince wrote...

My name. Its William. C. Dietz. I use short sentences. To keep the attention. Of my readers. Opened. Opened. Open.


Toothbrush. Cereal. Vase. Hotel?


Aria. She is a Level. 3 Biotic pee.


Leng. In library. With toothbrush.

#6420
LPPrince

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CaptainZaysh wrote...

ElitePinecone wrote...

The style is maddening. There are full stops everywhere. And not just where they should be, at the end of sentences. But also in the middle of clauses. With random noun phrases tacked on the end as sentences. It makes me feel something. Something that is frustration. 

As you know.


It's like Hemingway.

A bit.


Hemingway. He didn't. Take. It. This far at. All. Cheese. Cheese. Weeeeee

#6421
LPPrince

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Arcadian Legend wrote...

LPPrince wrote...

KnightOfTwo wrote...

LPPrince wrote...

My name. Its William. C. Dietz. I use short sentences. To keep the attention. Of my readers. Opened. Opened. Open.


Toothbrush. Cereal. Vase. Hotel?


Aria. She is a Level. 3 Biotic pee.


Leng. In library. With toothbrush.


Leng. Now brushing molars. Then moved to. Canines. German Shepard. Collie. Whippet. Whippet. Whippet good.

#6422
ElitePinecone

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roflchoppaz wrote...

ElitePinecone wrote...

I'm travelling in China at the moment and that image hosting site is blocked. 

But I'm gonna add it to my sig on blind faith, and belief in the awesomeness of that original picture.


How's this?

Image IPB


Works fine. Thanks a lot!

#6423
ddv.rsa

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Seriously you guys, his sentence construction isn't that terrible. If Dietz is reading this you'll make him never want to write again.

#6424
Guest_Ivandra Ceruden_*

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Don't you dare speak badly of Hemingway. I made a whole work about him. He's a fascinating writer. He can't be compared to trash like this.

#6425
LPPrince

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ddv.rsa wrote...

Seriously you guys, his sentence construction isn't that terrible. If Dietz is reading this you'll make him never want to write again.


Well, its true.

Modifié par LPPrince, 31 janvier 2012 - 03:26 .