11391 réponses à ce sujet

[CDRSkyShepard]

Yuoaman wrote...

Sorry, I was going in reverse order with the white text, it should be better now.

Beautiful. This is good stuff.

Btw, Yuoaman, did you get a PM from me? I meant to send one to you, but my Outbox isn't saying I sent it. 

Modifié par CDRSkyShepard, 01 février 2012 - 05:37 .

[ElitePinecone]

AVPen wrote...

Liselle's furneral on Thessia really does read like something straight out of "The Godfather", fyi.... complete with cars, a stretch limo, a delivery truck with rockets on the top, and a black freaking herse even.... on Thessia! 

It's pretty awful. 

Doesn't fit Aria's character *at all*, and even if asari mobsters followed human 20th century mafia practices (lol?) why would Thessia have ground vehicles? Or a convoy? Or a black hearse?!

[Yuoaman]

ElitePinecone wrote...

AVPen wrote...

Liselle's furneral on Thessia really does read like something straight out of "The Godfather", fyi.... complete with cars, a stretch limo, a delivery truck with rockets on the top, and a black freaking herse even.... on Thessia! 

It's pretty awful. 

Doesn't fit Aria's character *at all*, and even if asari mobsters followed human 20th century mafia practices (lol?) why would Thessia have ground vehicles? Or a convoy? Or a black hearse?!

Omega, it's actual Prohibition era Chicago or something.

[Phate Phoenix]

Yuoaman wrote...

Oh jeez, just saw this. I've only marked the initial red entries thus far. How legible is that for both color blind, and non color blind folks?

I prefer it with the white words, much easier to see. Alas, my father is currently sleeping, so I can't have him take a gander at this for you. That said, if you avoid any yellows or greens, it should be fine.

(There are several other types of color-blindness, but I am only familiar with red-green, which is the most common. If anyone else has something to add to this, it'd be very helpful.)

[CDRSkyShepard]

Phate Phoenix wrote...

Yuoaman wrote...

Oh jeez, just saw this. I've only marked the initial red entries thus far. How legible is that for both color blind, and non color blind folks?

I prefer it with the white words, much easier to see. Alas, my father is currently sleeping, so I can't have him take a gander at this for you. That said, if you avoid any yellows or greens, it should be fine.

(There are several other types of color-blindness, but I am only familiar with red-green, which is the most common. If anyone else has something to add to this, it'd be very helpful.)

I knew someone once that couldn't see the high-frequency end of the color spectrum...thus, purple. So maybe blue for nitpicks and orange black for more minor continuity discrepencies?

Edit: Orange would be difficult to see

Modifié par CDRSkyShepard, 01 février 2012 - 05:42 .

[ElitePinecone]

Quarters Alpha wrote...
snip.

I don't think Mr Dietz deserves some of the criticism he's been getting in this thread. I certainly don't want to say his efforts weren't sincere, and that he genuinely wanted to write a piece of engaging fiction set in the Mass Effect IP. 

But half a day of research would've eliminated most of the glaring errors. Bioware's review team clearly didn't pick them up, or didn't care about such lofty issues as the timeline or the family background of one of their most iconic characters, in Aria. Mr. Dietz must've signed off on the novel thinking that it was fine, lore-wise. 

More to the point: I don't think Deception is Dietz's best work. I thought The Flood was refreshing and well-written. It fleshed out the game material, added a number of subplots and gave us reasonably good characterisations of some of the major universe characters. It set the tone for Elite naming conventions and culture that every othre author after him used. 

[ElitePinecone]

izmirtheastarach wrote...

didymos1120 wrote...

It also demonstrates the way Dietz seems to have gone through Drew's books to find stuff he could just paste in with a bit of rewriting.

It's bizarre, because he some cases he gets things right. But sometimes he just assumed he understands how things are supposed to work, and sometimes he just makes things up. I think he spent SOME time looking this stuff up, but clearly no where near enough time.

You'd think if he'd searched for the word 'Hendel' in Ascension, Dietz might've found the two or three times Kahlee makes it abundently obvious that the Grissom security chief wouldn't have been ogling asari. 

I can't really explain the wildly swinging level of research quality: tiny things like salarian religion are spot-on, but the Aria debacle and timeline issues suggest not much was done at all. 

[izmirtheastarach]

ElitePinecone wrote...

You'd think if he'd searched for the word 'Hendel' in Ascension, Dietz might've found the two or three times Kahlee makes it abundently obvious that the Grissom security chief wouldn't have been ogling asari. 

I can't really explain the wildly swinging level of research quality: tiny things like salarian religion are spot-on, but the Aria debacle and timeline issues suggest not much was done at all. 

You are totally right in what you said in your previous post. Anyway one of us could have fixed a bunch of the errors easily. Even a complete layperson could fix many if them if you just told them to look things up in the wiki. It's baffling that no one took this simple step. Mac Walters has admitted to using the wiki himself during his writing, so you'd think whoever review this thing would have known to do the same.

[Yuoaman]

So how does it look guys?

We have our blue and red wards covered.

DOHOHOHO.

[Phate Phoenix]

Yuoaman wrote...

So how does it look guys?

We have our blue and red wards covered.

DOHOHOHO.

Red and blue ward, three levels... 

We've officially lost it.  I think it looks nice, and should work great for what we need.

[CDRSkyShepard]

Yuoaman wrote...

So how does it look guys?

We have our blue and red wards covered.

DOHOHOHO.

*Slaps knee* OH HOHOHOHO. You kill me. It looks very good so far, nice work!

[Yuoaman]

Phate Phoenix wrote...

Yuoaman wrote...

So how does it look guys?

We have our blue and red wards covered.

DOHOHOHO.

Red and blue ward, three levels... 

We've officially lost it.  I think it looks nice, and should work great for what we need.

Next we're going to create a banner saying, "We're Cereal About These Issues, Guys."

[MisterJB]

So, these supposedly "superior" beings actually believed for a single second that TIM would come in person to Omega?
And they were planning to replace the Citadel Council. *sigh*

Modifié par MisterJB, 01 février 2012 - 05:59 .

[ElitePinecone]

Yuoaman wrote...

_symphony wrote...

Continuity and screwups aside, Hendel and Nick deaths are nonsensical and pointless.

And written with a staggering lack of emotion.

This is my major beef with the novel, aside from the lore stuff (and alongside Gillian's death). 

We've known these characters for two books now (well, three if you count their bizarre appearance in Deception) - and they're killed off with practically no drama or tragedy. 

Kahlee responds to Hendel's death with "I'm sorry to hear that."

Her response to Nick's murder in cold blood is "Why you rotten bastard!" 

Then Anderson's all like, "GYROCYCLES, YO!"

There's no description, no internal character thoughts, nothing. It's terrible. 

[Yuoaman]

ElitePinecone wrote...

Yuoaman wrote...

_symphony wrote...

Continuity and screwups aside, Hendel and Nick deaths are nonsensical and pointless.

And written with a staggering lack of emotion.

This is my major beef with the novel, aside from the lore stuff (and alongside Gillian's death). 

We've known these characters for two books now (well, three if you count their bizarre appearance in Deception) - and they're killed off with practically no drama or tragedy. 

Kahlee responds to Hendel's death with "I'm sorry to hear that."

Her response to Nick's murder in cold blood is "Why you rotten bastard!" 

Then Anderson's all like, "GYROCYCLES, YO!"

There's no description, no internal character thoughts, nothing. It's terrible. 

LACK OF EMOTION ON GYROCYCLES.

[MJvasNormandy]

Yuoaman wrote...

So how does it look guys?

We have our blue and red wards covered.

DOHOHOHO.

Very nice. Well phrased media note as well. I more than approve +10.

[ElitePinecone]

didymos1120 wrote...

This bit just pissed me off anew:

The first emotion Gillian experienced was a deep and abiding sorrow. She was forever cut off from the only person who hadn’t been paid to care about her.

Yeah, except for that guy standing right next to you who quit his job and repeatedly risked his life in order to protect you, including staying to watch over you on the Idenna, completely cut off from human and galactic society. No one paid him to do that.

Not to mention he was there for SIX (THREE) YEARS!

[roflchoppaz]

What's this gyrocycle thing about anyway? I don't get it.

[Yuoaman]

Also, I just realized that it's been about nine or ten hours since LPPrince was in the thread - insanity.

[Yuoaman]

roflchoppaz wrote...

What's this gyrocycle thing about anyway? I don't get it.

After Nick's death Anderson sees some Gyrocycles and I guess they ride them.

[roflchoppaz]

Yuoaman wrote...

roflchoppaz wrote...

What's this gyrocycle thing about anyway? I don't get it.

After Nick's death Anderson sees some Gyrocycles and I guess they ride them.

Oh.

O...kay? 

[MisterJB]

Forgetting for a second that the recording of Grayson being implanted with Reaper technology is completely innacurate, how could he possibly have recorded it and placed it on a fake jewel that he had to have sent to Gillian before Cerberus caught him?

Modifié par MisterJB, 01 février 2012 - 06:07 .

[Yuoaman]

roflchoppaz wrote...

Yuoaman wrote...

roflchoppaz wrote...

What's this gyrocycle thing about anyway? I don't get it.

After Nick's death Anderson sees some Gyrocycles and I guess they ride them.

Oh.

O...kay? 

Because Anderson is just a kid inside - especially when the woman he loves just lost two people she cared about in such a short amount of time.

[DeckardWasAReplicant]

You guys think this is bad. Wait for the mass effect movie to come and destroy all of the lore.

[Yuoaman]

MisterJB wrote...

Forgetting for a second that the recording of Grayson being implanted with Reaper technology is completely innacurate, how could he possibly have recorded it and placed it on a fake jewel that he had to have sent to Gillian before Cerberus caught him?

He had a microscopic camera following him for two years?