192 réponses à ce sujet

[pmac_tk421]

Yeah, I can't get any girl to date me. Maybe thats why I love ME so much. I get so sucked into it that at the end of the day I stop thinking about it and I feel like I can wait.

[Milana_Saros]

Gotholhorakh wrote...

Milana_Saros wrote...
There really isn't much to understand. The whole girls vs. boys thing is pretty much BS...a pundle of excuses. There was a brilliant episode in Sex in the City back during the day where Berger told Miranda that mostly if a guy doesn't want to go to your place after a date then he is just not that into you.

Ha, that show is full of little pearls of wisdom that fail to understand people so much it's not funny, and that's a perfect example.

In all honesty I'm wondering if you're just misspelling English or if you're actually saying that the show advice is wrong? Because it isn't. There really is no point in dragging your damn life and blood pressure and sanity around because of a person who doesn't know what they want or because they're just not that into you.

I can't even begin to put weight (can't remember the right word pfffftt) on the fact how much easier my life became when I stopped wasting my time on "what if" relationships. If you know you want to be with someone, then you will be with him/her.

Yes, exeptions are always there. Any person with half a brain should realize this. But pleading and asking and waiting and wondering and dreaming endlessly over something that's been dragging it's heels from the start...what the hell is the point? Seriously.

But it's a lesson everyone needs to learn I guess.

MASSEFFECTfanforlife101 wrote...
 I feel like I'll never find someone.

And may I ask, how old are you?

You don't need to travel to mount Everest to impress a woman. You need to be a person in the company of another person. Be yourself. Don't lick their boots but don't be an ass either. Just be a human being.

What the hell is wrong with people?

Modifié par Milana_Saros, 04 février 2012 - 09:06 .

[Gotholhorakh]

Milana_Saros wrote...

Gotholhorakh wrote...

Milana_Saros wrote...
There really isn't much to understand. The whole girls vs. boys thing is pretty much BS...a pundle of excuses. There was a brilliant episode in Sex in the City back during the day where Berger told Miranda that mostly if a guy doesn't want to go to your place after a date then he is just not that into you.

Ha, that show is full of little pearls of wisdom that fail to understand people so much it's not funny, and that's a perfect example.

In all honesty I'm wondering if you're just misspelling English or if you're actually saying that the show advice is wrong? Because it isn't. There really is no point in dragging your damn life and blood pressure and sanity around because of a person who doesn't know what they want or because they're just not that into you.

Sure, as impossible as it sounds, I am saying you really shouldn't be getting advice about relationships from Sex & The City because it's full of thoughtless, trite BS in it that insists on its own wisdom, but doesn't apply to the real world.

For instance: There are reasons why people are wary about jumping into bed with a person that they really like even if asked, and sometimes it's because they're a keeper.

There are also some people who might think they're really into someone, who will then be dramatically put off by them trying to instigate sex (say on the first date). All well and good and as it should be, unless that person is acting out of character on that kind of advice.

He might even just be being careful rather than impulsive to ensure it's a relationship he wants to get into. Some genuinely nice men might not rush up to your bedroom at the drop of a hat, seriously.

I can't even begin to put weight (can't remember the right word pfffftt) on the fact how much easier my life became when I stopped wasting my time on "what if" relationships. If you know you want to be with someone, then you will be with him/her.

Yes, exeptions are always there. Any person with half a brain should realize this. But pleading and asking and waiting and wondering and dreaming endlessly over something that's been dragging it's heels from the start...what the hell is the point? Seriously.

Perhaps being with a guy who you love who loves you, who is respectful, and perhaps a little out of your league rather than being with a guy because he will sleep with you immediately.

Because that is pretty much all of them, even the ones that can't stand you. The fact that a guy will sleep with you when you ask does not mean he is into you in any way.

But it's a lesson everyone needs to learn I guess.

What, filtering out all men except easy one night stands and sexual predators? Oh yeah, sounds very genetically selective that, let me make a note of that

If it works for you, more power to you, but I think it's really bad general advice.

Llike pretty much all advice from slushy televised fiction - it is as I said thoughtless, trite BS that insists on its own wisdom but doesn't apply to the real world.

MASSEFFECTfanforlife101 wrote...
 I feel like I'll never find someone.

And may I ask, how old are you?

You don't need to travel to mount Everest to impress a woman. You need to be a person in the company of another person. Be yourself. Don't lick their boots but don't be an ass either. Just be a human being.

What the hell is wrong with people?

Hey go easy on the young person, he's young. Nothing is wrong with people - relationships are complicated, and when you're in school your hormones and mindset make it uber hard to step back and look at things, to even know WTH sense of proportion would look like let alone have one.

Modifié par Gotholhorakh, 04 février 2012 - 10:45 .

[SilentNukee]

I won't lie to you, being a girl myself, not saying all women do but we tend to "lie" or over-exaggerate the truth about certain things or tell you the exact opposite of what she wants. She probably did not like the fact that you conveyed your feelings to her, but lied that she does or she may have found someone else and liked the attention for a while. Women crave attention. Also, if she was into "bad" boys before, chances are she still is or is at least attracted to them. I could go into the whole biological/psychology side of things but I won't. My advice to you would be to move on, she has lost interest.

[SilentNukee]

Vez04 wrote...

Speaking of the thread.

Why does girls always say ''Aw or Awwwww!'' when i talk nice to them?

Because they have nothing else to say, basically like an "lol" when you aren't really laughing IRL. They know that might make you feel good (If they're talking about how cute you are or something that you've done), thus feeding them the attention they want.

Modifié par SilentNukee, 04 février 2012 - 11:11 .

[Dreadstruck]

Well you certainly won't pick up any chicks here.
Seems like everyone's already married.

Modifié par Avalla'ch, 04 février 2012 - 11:12 .

[CroGamer002]

Wait, this thread went serious?

Serious thread on BSN?

Did I just died?

[silver_sparrow]

SilentNukee wrote...

Vez04 wrote...

Speaking of the thread
Why does girls always say ''Aw or Awwwww!'' when i talk nice to them?

Because they have nothing else to say, basically like an "lol" when you aren't really laughing IRL. They know that might make you feel good (If they're talking about how cute you are or something that you've done), thus feeding them the attention they want.

Lol. This slightly sounds like narcissism. XD

[weedyfun]

dear lord, five pages of this?

ME3 should have been released earlier this year...

[Tazzmission]

Jestina wrote...

For some guys, the nice routine is mostly just an act...which I never fall for now. Sure they are nice in the beginning, but after you've been with them awhile, then you'll find out what they are really like.

Like the saying, if it seems too good to be true....My ex was that way. Very nice when we met, but then he started getting abusive after about a year.

i consider myself to be a nice guy sometimes even to nice where id give a woman the shirt off my back than later on get taken advantaged of and dumped.

and yea i agree alot of guys pretend to be nice but you got to admit some women do in fact dont know what they want in a guy.

im not saying all women are the same but there are your fair share of gold diggers out there and as for men yea you have your fare share of the player types and i just want to get in her pants type and that shouldnt mean all men are alike because trust me i am not.

[Milana_Saros]

Gotholhorakh wrote...
sexual predators?

I haven't said a single thing about having sex. But since I used a comment from a series called Sex and the City I guess it was impossible to comperehend.

Also a funny note: In Finland the show is called "Single life".

Edit: Oh and just to make absolutely sure that you STILL won't insist on misinterpreting my posts to be 100% about sex and to show that I'm actually not a complete and utter **** let me clarify further:

I was talking about the concept of mutual interest. How it is a waste of time to drag things out if the interest simply isn't there.

I wasn't telling people to **** everything that moves on first date. Only a complete moron or a troll would give that kind of advice. I thought it was obvious.

I apologize.

Gotholhorakh wrote...

Hey
go easy on the young person, he's young. Nothing is wrong with people -
relationships are complicated, and when you're in school your hormones
and mindset make it uber hard to step back and look at things, to even
know WTH sense of proportion would look like let alone have one.

There's nothing wrong in being young. However, there is so much self-loathing and QQ on this thread that even the sun is getting darker. Then again, majority of it is just trolling. Thread should've been locked after page 1.

Modifié par Milana_Saros, 04 février 2012 - 02:02 .

[mousestalker]

I know two men by whom every woman I know has been smitten to one degree or another, even the lesbians.

L is a Vietnam combat veteran. He has an engineering degree and is an attorney. He has a round face and while he's in decent shape he has an obvious tendency to be chubby. He is a gentleman down to his toes. He likes women and appreciates them for who they are. He is not, however, a 'player'. He values monogamy in himself and in others. He keeps his word and is honest within the bounds of courtesy. He is attentive to the women he is with and is genuinely caring. L is who he is and shows that.

P is younger. He is very tall with dark hair, a beak nose and very classically severe features. He is good looking, but more to the point his face is interesting. He has mobile features that reflect his emotions. He, again, is very courteous. He is also attentive. He has a keen, but kind, sense of humour and sees the funny in things. He is an animal lover and is great with children, even the littles and babies. P has enormous patience. He also has a bad heart, which he is open about without being narcissistic or a pity seeker. P also values his word and honours commitments.

If either of these gentlemen ever became available, they would be married as soon as they wished it, by pretty much any single woman they know.

The problem with too many people is that they aren't patient, either with themselves or each other. Relationships take work, especially in the beginning.

To blather on, we tend to be a bit more rational about entering into relationships than we are given credit for. It's the leaving of the relationship where the emotions really come into play. We look at people and judge how attractive we find them and then try to see whether a relationship would work. My guess is that a lot of the posters above are failing at one of those steps. Guys who are being friend zoned are probably failing at the second step.

Rather than trying to sell yourself, move on. Work on aspects of yourself that could use improvement. That doesn't mean becoming a muscle mad bodybuilder, but rather basic morals, manners and, especially, hygiene.

Modifié par mousestalker, 04 février 2012 - 12:57 .

[Gotholhorakh]

Milana_Saros wrote...

I haven't said a single thing about having sex. But since I used a comment from a series called Sex and the City I guess it was impossible to comperehend.

Also a funny note: In Finland the show is called "Single life".

I remember the part of the episode you're talking about, and the quote you're taking about, being about a man coming back to your place for sex, and the inference that a man doesn't like you that much if he won't.

I guess we differ in terms of what it's about, which is fine. You are perfectly entitled to be wrong.

mousestalker wrote...
Rather than trying to sell
yourself, move on. Work on aspects of yourself that could use
improvement. That doesn't mean becoming a muscle mad bodybuilder, but
rather basic morals, manners and, especially, hygiene.

Yeah, especially not body building - ew! Few things scream insecurity like muscleboundness.

Luckily, there are people who like almost every different thing.

Modifié par Gotholhorakh, 04 février 2012 - 02:18 .

[Centauri2002]

silver_sparrow wrote...

Lol. This slightly sounds like narcissism. XD

We are all capable of bouts of narcissism. It's not hard to see why someone would enjoy positive attention, particularly if they've had some tough experiences in life that might leave them feeling bad about themselves. Even if that's at the expense of someone else. We can be terribly selfish at times, no?

[Milana_Saros]

Gotholhorakh wrote...

I remember the part of the episode you're talking about, and the quote you're taking about, being about a man coming back to your place for sex, and the inference that a man doesn't like you that much if he won't.

I guess we differ in terms of what it's about, which is fine. You are perfectly entitled to be wrong.

Yeah....comprehending something beyond a pop culture reference is hard. Just as hard as it is to admit that you've completely misunderstood a person's post. But that's all right. I forgive you

[Volus Warlord]

mousestalker wrote...

L is a Vietnam combat veteran. He has an engineering degree and is an attorney. He has a round face and while he's in decent shape he has an obvious tendency to be chubby. He is a gentleman down to his toes. He likes women and appreciates them for who they are. He is not, however, a 'player'. He values monogamy in himself and in others. He keeps his word and is honest within the bounds of courtesy. He is attentive to the women he is with and is genuinely caring. L is who he is and shows that.

 Well let's see.. I've no miltiary experience but I may end up there at this rate.. I'll have and engineering degree in a few months, but I'll commit ritual suicide before I become an attourney..  I'm not in shape at all... People do tell me I can be very polite.. I find people with no discretion to be disgusting so if that's what you meant by "monogamy" there it is.. I do take my word seriously and am honest but too much so, always getting in trouble for "brutal honesty" or "not thinking before I speak".. I've a tendency to just sit there and listen if any random woman needs to get the rant out, even people I've never met before.. If people ask for my advice, I do my best to tell them what I think is in their best interest, even people I'm not on good terms with.. 

Wow.  You were damn near spot on. 

I must be STRUCK DOWN! SMITE ME! 

[Oakenshield1]

Women aren't meant to be fully understood, but if she wanted to talk to you, she'd talk to you. She doesn't like you like that so she's dialing the relationship down. Just let her go and get a chick who feels the same.

[Dave Exclamation Mark Yognaut]

Well, you're certainly on the right forum.

[Fishy]

To be honest .. Being a 'nice' guy is boring. Girl love mysterious independent and confident man . Grow a backbone and stop being a wuss. That probably why she's losing interest. You're boring.

Woman enjoy just like man to win someone affection. So make her work a little and she will be  more interested in you.

Modifié par Suprez30, 04 février 2012 - 10:58 .

[Dominus]

Our Potential Casanova, Peanut Butter Jelly Time, has yet to make another response. I'm curious(and was curious the first time I read it) if it was a troll attempt. Alas, we'll never know. Why not try singing her a lullaby to woo her? Like, oh I don't know, this. Seems appropriate.

[Dave Exclamation Mark Yognaut]

Suprez30 wrote...
Girl love mysterious

And if you can't trust the BSN, who can you trust?

[Furtled]

Peanut Butter Jelly Time wrote...
But this is what I dont get.  This girl was always talking about guys being douchebags to her, yet guys that were nice to her, she treated like dirt?

i wish for the day, when man will understand women lol

I hate to say it but you got friendzoned, recommend reading through the rest of the Dr. NerdLove blog so it won't happen again and good luck, the right lady's out there somewhere!


P.S. If it's any consolation women are often just as mystified by you menfolk and your odd ways.

Modifié par Furtled, 04 février 2012 - 11:41 .

[Fishy]

Dave Exclamation Mark Yognaut wrote...

Suprez30 wrote...
Girl love mysterious

And if you can't trust the BSN, who can you trust?

Your quoting is weak !  It's was  used in a different context!

Mysterious sound creepy by itself. It's was not how I used it. If you're to 'easy' to have  ... boring and unchallenging. Why do you think so many divorce happens? You need to spice thing up  for  a relationship  to remain interesting. If the girl know  whatever  she do you you will remain her pup she will lose interest and vice-versa.

Quite normal. Being mysterious mean having your secret. You don't need to tell her everything. Which make thing boring. Being Nice is boring. Being nice sound in my book to be dependant.

Modifié par Suprez30, 04 février 2012 - 11:53 .

[Hathur]

It is more than evident too many people here (men and women alike) have a shoddy concept of what a "nice guy" actually is.

To most of you it seems being little more than a throw rug, quiet, shy, doing anything for a woman, etc constitutes "nice" .... being "nice" for the sake or hopes of bedding a woman does not make one "nice" ... courting does not constitute "niceness" (nothing wrong with it... but courting is just a means to an end).

You have to look a hell of a lot deeper to see real "nice guys" than whether or not they give you flowers, give you a jacket on a cold day, let you walk all over them, agree with constantly.

"Nice guys" possess traits like empathy, compassion, benevolence and they exhibit these qualities in their life around them... not just towards a woman they want.

That being said, true "nice guys" (or nice women for that matter) are rather rare.. the word is simply tossed around too liberally.

Social awkwardness, quietness, shyness or the fact you don't merely walk up to a woman and say "hey baby, nice ass", does not make you a "nice guy"... thats something you become through deeds.

Modifié par Hathur, 05 février 2012 - 01:06 .