Silfren wrote...
sojourner77 wrote...
I read the first 10 pages of comments, ran out of time and skipped to the end, so apologies if this has already been stated but even so, seems worth repeating for latecomers.
This is a genuine attempt to engage with those of you who are angry/frustrated about accusations that the attacks on Hepler were sexist. Which is not the same accusation at all, by the way, as that "these people only did what they did because they hate women". I'd really like to build some actual understanding here, not mutual anger and defensiveness, futile as that may seem.
To start - I don't think sexism was the primary motivating factor or anything. But gender is part of the equation, and trying to understand that might help understand how both Heplar and female gamers might feel the way they do.
*Women play non-combat games in much higher proportions than men. If you don't believe me, PM me and I'll link to the studies. Heplar's views on gaming are more representative of women than men. This is NOT saying only women want this, or all women want this, or even more women want this than don't. It's just saying it is a viewpoint likely to be more popular among women than men. I am guessing that the Facebook game, similarly, attracted larger proportions of women than other Bioware games have.
*Heplar's "crimes" included writing gay characters, and defending on video, the character of Isabella, a sexually assertive woman, who at one point seems to have an STD. Heplar's comments on the video talked about the importance of broadening the female stereotypes in games. She was repeatedly accused of having a social agenda to bring into her work by including characters who aren't part of a straight male fantasy world.
*The barrage of abuse directed at Heplar had a couple of common themes (This is BEFORE her response). Heplar's weight, and Heplar's attractiveness as a sexual/romantic partner. These are criticisms that women face all the time, because a huge number of men simply assume that these are the main things we care about - what we look like, and how much men want to go to bed with us. I would be deeply surprised if anyone can dredge up, from the hundreds of threads hating on Gaider, any comments that attacked him as a fat/thin/balding man who can't get laid. (I have no idea what David Gaidar looks like, btw). This isn't infuriating because women want to be thin and desired by abusive twitter boys, it's infuriating because it is another way of saying "you are only as valuable as your ass".
Gaming can feel like a really unwelcome place as a woman, or more specifically, it can feel like the price of admission is wanting exactly the same things that straight boys do. When games don't have stuff we want and we complain about it (FemShep videos for ME2) we get told that we simply don't represent enough consumers to count, so tough luck. When they DO have stuff more women want (more varied images of women) we get told we're ruining games by being consumers.
So no, this isn't all about gender by any means. But it's there, lurking in the picture somehow, and discounting it means you may not be getting the whole picture.
I'm not one of the persons this is directed at, but I'll throw in my two cents anyway, 'cuz I'm contrary like that.
I do think sexism was a primary motivating factor in this. Possibly not, but I personally believe it was. Certainly I don't think it can be argued that sexism was not THE factor behind the form the attacks took.
Be that as it may, when a person uses gendered insults, there's no question that sexism is at play. If you call a woman a sl*t for behavior that has zero bearing on her sexual activity, you're being sexist. Likewise if you call her fat or ugly even though you're ONLY calling her such because you dislike something she said. Had Gaider been the victim of these attacks, you can bet that whatever was said about him, he would NOT have been called a sl*t. He also wouldn't have faced rape threats. He probably would have had his attractiveness called into question, but the likelihood of such is always a near certainty for a woman, while it simply is not for men. When men are attacked in the way Hepler was, it's unusual enough to be attention-getting. With women, however, this sort of thing happens all the time. So often, in fact, that it becomes invisible and so mainstream that people raise holy hell at the mere suggestion of sexism and, as has happened here, stumble over one another in their haste to disprove it.
Also, and I'm gonna ruffle feathers with this one, but so be it: I think a lot of people who are denying either that sexism was a major factor or even not a factor at all do so because they see what is being pointed to as being sexist, recognize it as behavior they themselves engage in whenever they want to discredit a woman, and are therefore forced to deny sexism here. Otherwise they would have to admit that whenever they go after a woman and call her a sl*t or a fat ugly slob, they are in the wrong, even if their dislike of that woman is based on non-sexist grounds. After all, there is a tendency among people to believe that a person does something "wrong," that they then lose the right not to be subjected to bigotry. Example: a person of color tells a lie and gets caught. So the person she lied to becomes angry and calls her a lying n-word. When called on it, they object to being called out for their racism because they figure the woman committed a wrong and therefore loses the right not to be called a racist term. It is precisely the same thing in regards to women. A woman doing something wrong does NOT give anyone a free pass to use sexism against her. Too many people can't grasp that simple fact, however.
I don't think that we are disagreeing about this (and I suspect I have repeated things you have already said on the thread, which I skipped - apologies if so. I was trying to explain for those who might genuinly not understand what this is like for women, what it is in fact like. The quote you raised further on was the specific trigger, actually.
I raised the Gaider comparison precisely for that reason. Yeah, sexism is a way of asserting power dominance as well - by calling you fat and/or a ****, I assert that I have the power here, and you have none. You are just a woman I have no use for. In that regard - honestly - I probably would have responded just as Hepler did, by letting them know that they haven't, in fact, got the power. I have. I have the job and the womanhood. Childish? Maybe. Sanity saving? Probably. (Only, of course, I'm not really as witty).
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[off-topic post removed]
