Foxtrot_212 wrote...
JakeMacDon wrote...
Somewhere, North America, 11:48AM
Bioware Motors, Canada
Dealer: Good afternoon, sir! Welcome to Bioware Motors.
Patron1: Yeah, thanks. Whatchagot?
Dealer: Our latest model, sir - the ME3 Turbo SE. Just delivered from the factory a week ago.
Patron1: Oh, yeah? What's it got? Looks sporty.
Dealer: For only 60, you get all the standard equipment, plus AC, a 3-CD player, faux leather interior, computer-controlled braking system, an onboard GPS and a computer-assisted gasoline monitor that helps you save money. It can use all three gasoline types with equal efficiency. It comes with bucket seats, and can be equipped as a standard or automatic, and is backed by our warranty assuring future upgrades, for a small fee.
Patron1: That's pretty sweet. Not bad. I do believe I'll take it.
Dealer: Thank you, sir, I...
Patron2: Hey there, Patron1! I see you're just about to buy the ME3 Turbo SE.
Patron1: Yup. It's pretty nice. Sporty. I bought the 2007 model and the 2009 one. I like this series.
Patron2: I agree, I did too, that's why I went for the Me3 HyperLX this time. It's got everything yours has, except it has real leather heated seats, 12 CD -Changer in the upholstered trunk, full surround sound and full ABS. It can also use diesel and cooking grease to power it, with the option to upgrade to full hydrocell in the future! It also has a skid control built in and full power steering. It also comes in Hyperblack, which only the LX has. A bit steep, over 90 to get it, but I think it was worth it. Had it all installed today, too. Sweet, huh?
Patron1: WTF!? Hey, dealer, you piece of crap - how come he gets extras? Huh? You lying scum - what the hell are you trying to pull?!?
Dealer: I don't understand the problem, sir?
Patron1: Look, technically they're the same car, aren't they? Same chassis, same engine, same wheels?
Dealer: With minor differences, technically, yes.
Patron1: That's what I thought! But he gets all the extras?
Dealer: Well, it is the luxury edition, sir. However, for 10 more we can include...
Patron1: Oh, no, you don't, you damned con artist! If these two cars were technically identical when they were designed, then I want all those extras for free! I bought the last two cars in this series! I'm entitled!
Dealer: Uh... sorry...?
Patron2: How do you figure that you're entitled to a luxury edition when you were ready to buy the standard? That makes no sense. It never included the extras because it's the standard edition.
Patron1: Look, ******! They're the same car! At some point, a designer made the decision that all those extras could be installed onto the same body and the only real difference is the name! I deserve those extras because I bought the same car! The same, the same, the same! Just because they're pandering to you rich basturds doesn't mean I shouldn't have it too! FFS! And you should kiss my a ss and offer me something just for me for the privilege of me buying one of your cars in the first place! And kiss my a ss!
Dealer: Uh... you bought the standard edition. We can install those extras are only 10 more...
Patron1: I don't care if they're five or one or a hundred more! I deserve them free because I bought the same car he did technically! Free because I bought two cars here before! That proves I deserve it! I say I do so I do!
Patron2: I don't think so. Listen to yourself.
Patron1: Aha! You just screwing me then? Rip off! Gyp! Thievery! Injustice! Unfettered greedy capitalism! It so figures! That all you do to the beaten down guy who can barely afford a big screen tv and two consoles and a computer! And you said it was afternoon, when technically it's not noon yet! Conspiracy! Lies everywhere! I'm cancelling my car payment and going to the Bethesda Auto because even if their cars tend to stall they're nicer than you... and another thing... boobs in Witcher motors - superior!.....
Dealer: Wow.
Patron2: Lack of thorazine in his diet, from the looks of it...