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gunslinger_ruiz wrote...
Arian Dynas wrote...
Uncle Jo wrote...
I like it. The connection to the events on Earth and with the Sword Fleet is well made. It gives more importance to a sympathetic character like Bailey who was pretty much ignored (on the contrary to the space-ninja), to the Citadel itself and justify the creation of the milicia. You seem to want to let the end open regarding the Reapers (I'm okay with it though). And the Crucible is badly damaged. So we would win because of a misunderstandingArian Dynas wrote...
Here is what I would (and eventually will when I have the time to) do with my re-write.
Pre Shepard cutscenes, right after the breath scene, or perhaps somewhere else, I'll think on this;
Bailey is desperately defending the council, several civlilians, some of the people you saved, he reaches a shelter designed to protect the council. A quantum entanglement communicator in the room is set up, originally placed with the intention that the Council can maintain order even from the most dire of suitations Bailey orders someone, perhaps a random Alliance Marine, or the Virmire Survivor if they're an asset to try and contact the fleet and find out what the hell is going on.
Hackett is overjoyed to hear from them, Bailey asks what he can do to thelp, Hackett sugguests C-Sec do all it can to get to the control panel, citing that the attack by Hammer is giving them enough of a distraction that a small team might just make it in the event Hammer can't. Bailey gives a pretty speech to his men, some of the civvies volunteer, they make their way to the council chambers in a few cutscenes, interspersed with cutscenes of Sword fighting the Reaper fleet, finally Bailey and any survivors (the higher your Citadel defense rating, the more people survive. if it's too low, Bailey dies. If the rating is the lowest possible, game over, Reapers win. any higher than that, Bailey dies but manges to reach the panel, the scene parroting what happened with Shepard in the dream earlier ("Bailey, Commander!") and the arms are opened, Bailey collapses and dies at the panel and the Crucible docks, the Reapers flee, pulling out past Charon, Harbinger fires a shot in the withdrawal and doesn't realize the Crucible was damaged before they have given up their tactical superiorty (if they come through the Charon relay with the fleet sitting on top of it, they know that they'll get wiped out one at a time) and leads them off to dark space to lick their wounds. If your Citadel defense rating was high enough, Bailey is wounded, and carried off by Conrad Verner/Kelly Chambers/Kalisah Al-Jilani/ a random civlilian, and appears at the end in one capacity or another.
I think the sequence till Bailey's speech should happen while Shep is still trying to get to the beam. Then you have the parallel Shep fighting Indoc Bailey and his team searching for the panel. Apex Bailey reaching the panel / Shep is making his choice..
Just my opnion though, for what it's worth...
Thank you. Personally I liked Kai Leng after a while, liked to hate him, killing that son of a **** was VERY satisfying (got the most pissed off at him after her murdered Miranda, I decided to make that ****sucker pay, and pay HARD.)
The Reapers I feel are far too ingrained in the setting to simply wipe out here. Defeated? Yes. Pushed back? Most certainly. Exterminated? Mmm, not quite yet, there are more stories to be told with them I think.
As for winning because of a misunderstanding... well, ever heard of the Battle of the Bulge? :happy:
Besides, it gives us fodder to explore the Crucible and its technology in a future sequel, or, who knows, leave it like Tali's face (should have been) and leave it unknown, lots of speculation from everyone!
Concerning running this scene concurrently with Shepard...
I did consider that, but I couldn't really see them intercutting scenes we have already seen with ones taking place at the same time and have already played through.
You let the bastard KILL Miranda?? I thought all you had to do was talk to her 3 times total on the Citadel (once at the Normandy dock, once at the spectre office, once at the presidum commons apartment) to avoid that, or maybe that + a loyalty shield....
Thinking about post-ending, post Shepard's Breath scene, how would Shepard contribute to finishing the Reaper fight in that state? Assuming the Indoctrination attempt happened and Shepard is back on Earth, you're more than likely to be in the "feel like death" barely able to move state. So then, would it be up to your squad mates to finish the fight? If there is still a fight anyway.
*Shame* I broke up with her...
I felt like a heel.
I also let Kelly die by accident.
I could have saved them. *angst*
Also, for the record, see my script on how you don't really need Shep to do much for the climax, and yet (or so people tell me) come away satisfied.
Big G13 wrote...
Thats not true. You've been part of this thread for a long time. And if we left this thread to ONLY people who can write dissertations on the subject all that would be left would be Arian Dynas, GBGrffin, & Epyon. I'd pay to hear it. But I don't know that could read it all.[smilie]http://social.bioware.com/images/forum/emoticons/smile.png[/smilie]Legion109 wrote...
Big G13 wrote...
I do believe we have taken a turn into the SURREAL.[smilie]http://social.bioware.com/images/forum/emoticons/lol.png[/smilie]Arian Dynas wrote...
Legion109 wrote...
- clutches an '04 Harlan Estate Cabernet Sauvignon in the corner crouching and muttering to himself - My Precious
Can I have some fava beans and a nice chianti?
I believe I have never contributed anything constructive to this thread in the near 1500 pages I've been following it so perhaps me'sa is a troll.[smilie]http://social.bioware.com/images/forum/emoticons/devil.png[/smilie] (I've no idea how Arians dialogue ended up under mine in my own post)
You've been polite, pleasant, funny, and actually stimulate discussion rather than going "Nener nener nener, Im better than you! I'm better than you!"
People such as yourself are always welcome.
Modifié par Arian Dynas, 24 avril 2012 - 04:18 .
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It could be narrated as a flashback after Shep wakes up (partly or completely).
