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There were times in my life the past 5 years when I had nothing or no one to turn to.... except Mass Effect. Call me pathetic but that's just what it was. I had no friends, family hated me, etc. But I had Mass Effect! life was good as long as I looked forward to that game at the end of the day. I played ME1 almost all the time since it came out in 2007, ME2 in 2010... and I sacrificed studying for midterms for ME3. I could not get enough of this story because I lived through Shepard's experiences, experiences of happiness vs. sadness, not just depression vs disappointment in my real life.
I remember saving the Rachni in ME1 for the first time and it felt good... Even though it was only a game, I showed them mercy even though they killed many people in the past. I also thought about how I wished parts of my life like that; mercy shown to me despite how "stupid" I was. Then there was the part when Ashley cared about me and so on... It was so ironic because earlier that day my girlfriend broke up with me. That part with Ashley actually made me feel happy despite the funk I was in that day. I felt so proud of myself when I defeated Saren and Sovereign. I felt like people actually cared about me and I had made a difference. Also, I could barily do one renegade play through after my main shep, it just tore me apart to see Shepard insult people and use them to get his way...
I played and played and played ME1 until ME2 came out. I went to the midnight pick up, went right to sleep after I got it, and woke up super early to play. I was so happy to start playing a new mass effect. I was more than happy to help human colonies from being abducted, stop the collectors and to delay the "Arrival". During ME2 I was going through some tough times with life and stuff, but when life gave me lemons, I played Mass Effect! Nothing else could make me happier. I loved recruiting old and new crew members... but 'friends' are who they really are they were to me. I loved talking with Legion, Samara, and Garrus. They always had cool things to talk about, all of them pretty much were cool. At the beginning of ME2 I made the decision not to romance anybody because I wanted to stay faithful to Ashley, in the off chance I could romance her ever again. Part me the real me actually really cared for her... At the end of Horizon mission I was heart broken. After Ash left I was nearly crying, but I looked into my Shepard's face and I saw disappointment, but determination to get the mission done anyways. I picked myself up literally and went on. I did the suicide mission without losing a single soul.
Then ME3 came out. I did a similar thing when it came out, I woke up early after sleeping following the midnight release. I played and played and played until I thought I was ready to fight the reapers. I romanced Ash and I was sooooooooooooo happy! I remember saying the words, "I love you" into my kinect with meaning. Kissing her that one last time on Earth was perfect. My shepard looking into her eyes made me believe... no... made me KNOW I was coming back alive for her. I said my prep speech to my crew and unleashed hell on the reapers. I ran down that hill with everything I had, dodging every laser shot at me. I got so close to the conduit... so close. I yelled at my Shepard to get up and he did. I told him to remember ashley. He got up and fought his way to the conduit beam.
I'm on the citadel I try to convince the illusive man he is wrong... the most dramatic part of the 3 games. I had to shoot the Illusive man. Then before I knew it I lost coincousness and I'm taken to the 'roof' of the citadel talking to some god kid. He explains to me that I have 3 choices I can make, Control, synthesize, or destroy the reapers.
At this point I'm sitting between 3 choices I do not like. None of them lets me return to the woman I love, none of them gives the galaxy true "piece". I decide to destroy the reapers because I think I have a chance of living, plus the reapers will die. I don't wake up. Ash is stranded... civilization must restart because the mass relays are gone. No more explanation is given.
I turn off my xbox and sit there. I just sit there. There was a shock to my system I never experienced before. Years of emotional entanglement.... destroyed with just as much prejudice as the reapers give organic life. I stayed true to Ash in ME2 for nothing... I saved all my crewmates for nothing. I went to all that trouble to get to know and make friends with so many people. All marginalized and undermined by a single 5 minute ending. "Rug pulled from under my feet" as they say.
Thank GOODNESS I didn't know about this ending when Mass Effect was the only thing I could turn to... otherwise... I might not be here... Luckily all such problems exist no more currently, but that by no means makes the ending feel any better. I know BioWare thinks this is a good ending, and quite frankly it could be worse... somehow. However, emotionally this is the worst possible ending for me. I would be pay $1000 (one thousand US dollars, that's 80000 MS points) for DLC to have a better ending where me and Ash live happily ever after... or at least give me closure that Ashley lives happily ever after on that planet........
I..... feel.... so....................... empty
Modifié par Can0fCorn, 10 mars 2012 - 08:27 .
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