Using Ashley to me is less painful when seeing Thane in ME3. She still says she's there to see a friend but it just sounds less painful. I tried pulling the romance flag from Kaidan and it still didn't sit right with me, the way it was said. So, goodbye Kaidan, I am using my powers of time travel and redoing Virmire with a quick change in check marks.
So the whole Kaidan and his "cheating" hang up
That is pretty much how I felt when he said that. I know that is a term BW slapped on what was really "moving on" but it still angers me. I asked my husband this, "Let's say I died, everyone thought I was dead but 2 years go by and I'm not really dead. I've been rebuilt, let's go with that." He looked at me and said, "I know what you are doing and this is about Shepard again and the use of the word cheat." Anyway, he said he can see where the line would be blurry but ONLY on Shepard's point of view not everyone else. So I looked at him with my troll Javik face and said, "Explain". What I really needed was an objective PoV, someone who was not invested in this series. I did show him all the recorded vids I did off Fraps, Kaidan's letter, etc. I wanted him to see it all. Far be it for me to influence his opinion. His points:
Shepard died, was rebuilt, and woke up two years later to all hell breaking loose around her. To the rest of the world, time did go on but for her it would have been like a nap, a very long sleep. In her mind, hours had passed, not years.
So she wakes up and realizes she is now working with people she considered terrorists, that would rock anyone. He imagines she must be feeling lost. Where are all her friends? The one she loved? All she gets is some errands to go stop collectors, pick up new squadmates but she manages to be reunited with Joker and a replica of her former ship. He called TIM devious at this point saying he was trying to lure her into a false sense of security. Without seeing the vids from ME3 where TIM basically admits to doing just that, I realize he is actually paid attention to everything I have shown him.
Ok, so we get to Horizon and he watches it several times, he wants to read body language. After that, he said. It's over. Whatever those two had is over now. Explain please. He didn't trust her (if he didn't trust me, he would not want to be with me), he didn't take the time to find out, he threw a tantrum and walked away (he did say that was the fault of the writing but still that is how it is played out so he must base his opinion on what is there and what is not via dialogue and body language).
In that meeting between the two, very little time has passed for Shepard mentally and emotionally. He can see her still being hung up on him and maybe wondering if they were still together but not him. He's had the time to face her death and get on with his life. At best his line of thinking at this point should be ok, she's alive. What now? It's been two years and she's working with Cerberus. I can't trust her, I want too but I just cannot. Do I still love the woman I use to know? But to be still thinking there is a relationship beyond acquaintance at this point is not logical thinking on either part.
I show him Kaidan's letter. He laughed and said, "I would wipe my azz with that." Although the apology is nice and the words at the end alluding too what once was is vague and shows no clear intention on Kaidan's part. If he cannot be clear as to what he really wants then why should Shepard? He did take note of Kaidan's reference of trying to move on by going out with a doctor. Here is where he was puzzled. "Trying" to move on made him figure he was still hung up on Shepard but he understands that, trying to move on after losing someone takes time but the fact that he was "trying" means he wanted too. Once you decide to move on, you have decided that whatever you were moving on from is in the past. So, he looked at me and said, "Yeah, it's definitely over now. You are free and clear to screw your way across the galaxy if you so choose without worrying about cheating."
I just handed him Hope, he's going through the save points trying to see the appeal of Thane. Since all he has is watching me. He thinks he's badazz but now he wants to see the romantic appeal, what is it that has truly captured the attention of his wife for the past 2 years. This analysis should be fun. Oh he's on RM, I heard him say, "Did someone just drop a dead guy at my feet?"
... it is from the disgust I have from knowing how little thane and jacob fans (and also to a lesser extent fans of other ME2 LIs) were considered by BioWare in the production of the game. The game does not deserve my attention, holding onto the (probably vain) hope that it could be fixed does 
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