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[ABCoLD]

This is how I would have written the ending for ME3, this isn't an attempt at a definitive ending, more an example of how -any- other ending would have been better. This takes place after the Commander is lifted onto the platform into the heart of the Catalyst.  Let me know what you think.  It's not perfect by far.  But I think it would have been a lot better.


Begin
Slow fade in, the Child's voice, "Get up!  You have to wake up now!  Hurry!"

Shepard blinks and slowly gets to their feet.  They shake their head in confusion, one hand clutches their side.  They ask questioningly, "What?"

A hologram of the Child smiles at Shepard, then turns and runs down a corridor, "You must hurry, there isn't much time!"  It passes through a glowing portal.

Shepard slowly advances, limping and hurt, they ask in a soft voice, "Wait, what's going on, who are you?"  They step through the portal.

The music changes as Shepard now walks through a holographic void, far in front of them is some sort of console.   The child is gone.  A voice returns, it is Vigil from Ilos.  The fragmented VI appears near Shepard before returning to an elegant hologram of a Prothean.  "We are the creators, we were the first, who built that which you know as the Citadel, and the Mass Relays.  You must act with haste Commander, or the cycle will continue."

Shepard limps forward, all around them the battle rages, as Reapers try to reach the Crucible and ships interdict them, ramming into the behemoths trying to stop them.  Shepard asks again, "What is all this, why am I here?"  They slump forward, black out.

Another voice insistently tells Shepard again, "Move, Shepard!"  It's Saren.  This hologram walks beside Shepard as they limp towards the console.  "We were the first race, we were at our apex, we were the best.  But we had no avenues for advancement, we decided to create a system to advance us beyond even our greatest achivements."

The Saren hologram fades and suddenly Legion's voice is heard.  "It was determined that a gestalt artificial intelligence could surpass even our most brilliant scientists.  A vessel was constructed.  It was to be the Harbinger of our ascension..."

Kal'Regar appears, walking with Legion and Shepard now.  "We were betrayed by it, it decided it new better than we did."

Matriarch Benezia appears, walking with the others, the other holograms urging the slumping, limping Shepard on.  "We were indoctrinated, tricked.  It sought to elevate us by destroying what we were.  Commander, the console."

Shepard slumps onto a bench, groaning and coughing up blood that splatters the console.  "But, what do you need?  Why am I here?"

The Rachni Queen's voice appears, but the group is replaced by the hologram of a Keeper that advances towards Shepard.  "We are a lost voice, we have no control, all we can do is watch.  But you have made it this far, you have rebuilt the master control module.  You can end this."

A massive jolt shakes the station as Shepard pitches forward, blacks out again.  "Hey, Commander."  The voice is soft, the music shifts to softer music.  It's the character that Shepard let die on Virmire.  "We need you to stop this."

A shift and the Child hologram appears and steps beside Shepard.  "Enter sequence Theta Zero Zero Zero to destroy all our works.  The Reapers, the Mass Relays, the Citadel, the kill switch will end our galaxy and begin yours."

Shepard blinks, "But how will we survive without the Relays?" 

A hologram of Thane steps beside the commander, "Life will find a way, but there is an alternative.  A timed pulse will destroy the Citadel, but immediately force the Reapers to enter their dormancy cycle.  They will leave this galaxy for fifty thousand years, but then return.  The sequence is Delta One Nine Seven."

Shepard nods and stares at the console.  "What should I do?"

All the holograms appears, walking around Shepard as they speak, "We can not decide.  We have seen too much death, too much destruction.  The choice must be yours."

Shepard drops a hand onto the console, blood trickles off, "Why me?"

A hologram of Anderson appears, "Because you're the only one who can!  You're the only one who's made it this far.  Now hurry soldier!  The Reapers will be through the fleet in moments and destroy the Crucible again!"

All the holograms disappear and the music builds, Then suddenly the sound of materialization and a soft, familiar voice.  Shepard looks up to see Mordin holding the Child.  Mordin offers a sad smile, his voice a little slower than normal as he adds, "Has to be your choice, someone else might get it wrong."
End (Oh and the ridiculous Normandy using a Mass Relay while it's fighting a battle over Earth thing doesn't happen of course.)


Then we go and do silly ending stuff.  Well, that's it?

[The Angry One]

I like it, the backstory is interesting though a little abrupt.
I have a soft spot for the Citadel and I'll always dislike the concept of it being destroyed, but those choices work and at least allow clear alternatives with different advantages.

[ABCoLD]

Oh yeah, there's a heckuva lot more backstory to it. I tried writing it in, but it just destroyed any sense of pace or urgency that it had.

[Apocsapel91]

Well, that would be another excellent ending. I've seen quite a few now, ranging from just cutting the scene with the star child to ones like yours, that completely overhaul the ending. The way the back-story was presented in such a natural and believable way is what makes this one particularly effective in my opinion.

[ABCoLD]

The thing that most genuinely confused me is that 'the catalyst' spoke about preserving organic life by destroying it. It makes no gosh-darn sense as written. You don't preserve sentience by bringing it to the brink of horror, despair and terror, then making a smoothie out of them and sticking them in a giant crab shaped tin can.

The basic premise here was that the first civilization was trying to reach the singularity (the point when you make a computer smarter than yourself, so it can make a computer smarter than a computer you can make and so on and so on.) The thing nearly worked, but it rebelled, and instead of being the Harbinger of a new era, it destroyed the first species, enslaved it. I see the Crucible as part of the Citadel that the Reapers destroyed because it was the primary control chamber, the thing that powered the station so it could deactivate Harbinger, other Reapers, the Mass Relays, etc.

The version the alliance built wasn't as sophisticated, so fewer options were available.

Otherwise... where the heck did the idea for the Crucible come from? Cause it doesn't DO anything in the game. It literally has no function in game. (Possibly it's a giant capacitor, maybe.)

[Jetfire99]

I like this, at least there was some thought put into it.

[Billabong2011]

OMG THE PART WITH MORDIN <3333

[ABCoLD]

Billabong2011 wrote...

OMG THE PART WITH MORDIN <3333

Seriously, how can it not end that way?! 

[Jetfire99]

You raise a very good point. There was no other way to end it.

[xiaoassassin]

Hum, certainly better than the crap endings, but what if Mordin was betrayed by Shepard on Tuchanka?

[kevchy]

Make this guy lead writer now, Bioware.

Seriously, I would have broken down when I get to the part with Mordin.

[ABCoLD]

kevchy wrote...

Make this guy lead writer now, Bioware.

Seriously, I would have broken down when I get to the part with Mordin.

Thanks.  Yeah, I saw no emotional engagement in how it was written.  There wasn't anything to ground you to the story at the climax.  Having those that Shepard has lost along the way appear and speak would have been poignant I think.

[ABCoLD]

xiaoassassin wrote...

Hum, certainly better than the crap endings, but what if Mordin was betrayed by Shepard on Tuchanka?

And obviously it should be customized to the experience of the person playing the game.  This is for a mostly paragony run through, with non gender specific dialogue.

[Chief Martini]

Meh, it doesn't really offer enough choices. Two choices isn't enough to end a trilogy like this.

[ABCoLD]

Chief Martini wrote...

Meh, it doesn't really offer enough choices. Two choices isn't enough to end a trilogy like this.

I flatly refuse to even consider that magi-science synthesis ending.  If you can come up with something else that's plausible/appropriate, I'd love to hear it.

[Sorayai]

I liked how you showed all the fallen allies and stuff, sounds like a good idea

I hope that Shepard can survive to be with the crew/LI again too

[Chief Martini]

ABCoLD wrote...

Chief Martini wrote...

Meh, it doesn't really offer enough choices. Two choices isn't enough to end a trilogy like this.

I flatly refuse to even consider that magi-science synthesis ending.  If you can come up with something else that's plausible/appropriate, I'd love to hear it.

Don't get me wrong, that ending was plain idiotic in my opinion. I really liked how you brought forward all the fallen figures of Mass Effect, just not the fact there's only two choices and there's a lot of 'why the **** am i here' and 'what is all this stuff'.

[ABCoLD]

Chief Martini wrote...

Don't get me wrong, that ending was plain idiotic in my opinion. I really liked how you brought forward all the fallen figures of Mass Effect, just not the fact there's only two choices and there's a lot of 'why the **** am i here' and 'what is all this stuff'.

Oh yeah, it's not professionally written.  But I'm trying to shoe-horn in a big change into a tiny narrow framework to show how a really -small- change could make the game a lot better. 

Pretty much this is taking it from the moment of wtf-ery-ville and trying to salvage a coherent ending from that.  Everything up to and including TIMax was good.  But then suddenly we got a Deus Ex ending including our choice of favorite beverage.  (That is, ignoring everything that has happened in the game, do you want option A or option B?)

Lots of options could be spun off this.  Explanations that it took too long, lots of people dead.  That it only half-worked.  Examples of how they'll have to prepare for the future, other things. 

I was also disappointed in how what war assets you had impacted the story so minimally.  But considering this was a half-awake first attempt, I think  I did alright.   Just an example of how it could have been done.

[Prudii Aden]

If there had been these options or the inclusion of them, then I'd probably be on my second playthrough, instead of wondering what the point was. As the end of a trilogy, I believe that there should have at least been the option for a happy ending.

[Militarized]

This is good.. but I still want me ME2 cinematic in ME3 form.