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[FYOUWTFNODPNAME]

basically god shows up.. in the form of some kid we saw for 2 seconds at the start of the game. i dont know why so much emphasis is given to this random kid in the first place. not to mention the stupid dream sequences throughout the game involving the kid. the beginning, dream sequences, and ending were all the most ridiculous parts of this.. but anyways.. here is my rendition of the ME3 ending:

God: hey shepard wats up?!

Shepard: oh i just need to stop the reapers they are trying to kill everyone

God: oh lol the reapers? ya they are my solution

Shepard: wtf u ****? solution to what?

God: oh lol if we leave u guys alive you'll build AIs that will kill u all, so i built AIs that will kill u all before that happens. that way there will always be some sort of life in the galaxy, even though their future will always be just to die when they reach intelligence.

Shepard: ..what? god, are you retarded? i literally just finished uniting the geth and quarians - which by the way the conflict was entirely the quarians fault not the geths. also i have given life to my ships AI and it now is basically human. sure maybe someday a bad AI will be created, but i dont see the issue with that. its the same way that a bad human can be born - you may as well implement the reapers because someday a new hitler will be born and happen to find/build a weapon capable of destroying our entire planet and wipe us out. that's just ridiculous.

God: nah you're wrong. anyways this plan didnt work cause you got here when you arent supposed to. heres a new plan - why dont you jump off this building here and kill yourself, and ill give everyone sparkly skin and eyes? trust me, this will totally fix the problem where the AIs kill everyone!

Shepard: what? that doesnt make any sense. also why didnt you just do that in the first place then? (also why does adding  "shepards energy" to the crucible mean anything? why is her energy so special that it changes everyone into a sparklydude?)

God: shut up shepard. *pushes off building*

--------CUTSCENE---------

pewpew lazers the reapers are glowing and leaving earth for some reason!!

oh by the way all the mass relays are exploded for.... some reason. and there is still the majority of the entire galaxys races in the sol system because we told them to come fight the reapers. so they are stuck here with us now i guess. they'll probably be pissed because we told them to come fight for no reason (the war assets arent actually used anywhere and the battle ends fairly shortly without any real anything happening).

now vroom vroom normandy run from the lazers for some reason! nobody else seems to be negatively affected by them but for some reason you should totally run from them!!

ok now black out the screen andddd hey it looks like somehow the normandy escaped and landed on some random planet. oh hey its joker. black out screen.

puh? what? ok its credits dont worry - theres still another like 20minute cutscene after the credits that will explain everything, cause i still have no idea whats going on. i mean why did they even show me that normandy thing? thats kind of weird

-----SUPER FINAL CUTSCENE------

Random Kid: o man that was a good story grandpa!

Old Dude: lol! i no rite?

Random Kid: i wanna go to space now omg

Old Dude: ya maybe tomorrow im tired


END