380 réponses à ce sujet

[iorveth1271]

Reading this in Ratch's voice...

OP, you win all the Interwebz.

[RADIUMEYEZ]

Just stumbled upon this masterpiece of a thread and all I have to say is AWESOME!

[Ultra Prism]

interesting updates ...

[Riion]

Thank god for bumps, this thread is gold.

[IronVanguard]

This is a great thread. I'm switching my degree to Krogan economics and accounting.

[Kilshrek]

I should just subscribe to this so I never miss an update!

[Subguy614]

Where has this thread been hiding for 4 weeks????
Total win!!!!

[IronVanguard]

Riion wrote...

Thank god for bumps, this thread is gold.

[ArchDuck]

No wonder the galaxy has been trying to repress us Krogans!

We would quickly dominate the galactic business market (plus they have squishing skulls).

[Faenshaer00]

This thread is fantastic. If only I had attended Ratch's school, in my youth.

[Sifr]

This is some delicious tasting satire...

May his krantt prevail!

[IronVanguard]

More people should sign up for Krogan economics.
Also, hope it still updates.

[paul165]

An excellent read - we can only await the next PR statement.

[tamperous]

Krogan Business Review: Letters to Editor


Dear editor,
On behalf of the my people, I take issue with your characterization of volus as lacking integrity and interested only in selling our endorsements to the highest bidder. We believe that FMV was paid for Morlan's Famous. The goodwill paid reflects Morlan's brilliant mind.  

I also have some excellent Wallstreet underwritten Rannochian Sub-Prime Mortgage-backed securities to offer. The Barlavon bond rating agency has rated these debt instruments AAA. Please contact my office for the details.
- Barla Von

The role of the human banks and volus bond rating agencies in causing the great hanar housing crash is well documented. The cycle now appears ready to repeat itself on Rannoch. Quarians, you are naive about real-estate. Beware of volus and humans bearing adjustable rate mortgages. - KBR



Dear Editor,
Regarding an article in your recent edition. Are you saying that lying to your customers is not a source of sustainable competitive advantage?
- Anoleis


You can lie as a source of competitive advantage in the longer-term only if you have dextro DNA. This is because krogans can't really eat liars of those species without falling ill ourselves. - KBR



Dear Editor,
Now that the genophage is cured, and the war is over, people are predicting a baby boom. How will this change the Tuchanka business cycle. Will we see a new uptick in secular growth and a lessening of the cyclicity of the economy.
- Thax


The future is unknown. Population growth will present new challenges and opportunities. All that we know is that the krogan will adapt as best we can. We will innovate and destroy that which is no longer suitable to the new reality of Tuchanka. Krogan society will evolve. - KBR

Modifié par tamperous, 19 avril 2012 - 01:45 .

[soulprovider]

gotta update the first post with the extened cut announcement.

[Zix13]

You have earned one cookie.

[Faenshaer00]

This deserves another bump due to silly forums speeds.

[CarGryph]

Approved by STG. As always.

[tamperous]

Sifr1449 wrote...

This is some delicious tasting satire...

Have you tried the new "Delicious Satire" flavor at your local ice cream parlour. It's Grunt's favorite.

soulprovider wrote...

gotta update the first post with the extened cut announcement.

Nothing has changed. They are still confused and grasping at rods...
Except the rod has gotten bigger more like a brass pole.

CarGryph wrote...

Approved by STG. As always.

STG endorsement? Could be problematic. Krogan-centric curriculum and all that.

Modifié par tamperous, 20 avril 2012 - 03:08 .

[CarGryph]

tamperous wrote...

STG endorsement? Could be problematic. Krogan-centric curriculum and all that.

Well, yes. But as should be known by now, STG doesn't blindly follow... um... dallatrastic political decisions. Our lot appreciates uncoventional thinking - and the Krogan perspective obviously went unnoticed for too long.

Anything else we could do for you?

[tamperous]

Full Disclosure

Recently I was saddened by the death of Dick Clark. He lived a remarkable career spanning 3 times the average lifespan of his species and more than 230 years of promoting human music. Most remarkable was his coming out of retirement in the 2160s to introduce human heavy metal to Tuchanka. 

What most krogan don't know about Mr. Clark was that early in his career in the 1950s, he was caught up in a Payola Scandal. PAYOLA is a human word formed as a portmanteau of two other human words payment and Victrola. What is a Victrola, you ask? it was an early model iPod that played music etched on wax or vinyl discs. So Payola is when a broadcaster or on-air personality is compensated for promoting a product (playing a record).

DJs like Alan Freed were accused of and some admitted to accepting money in exchange for playing certain songs on their shows. In Mr. Clark's case, he was a rock and roll disc jockey while he also had business interests in record labels, not the same as accepting payola but a clear conflict of interest. In response to the issues of Payola in Rock and Roll, the United States banned payola on TV and Radio in 1960. Title 47, Section 317, United States Code. Why do I bring this up? 

By 2012 there was a new medium where these laws didn't apply. Quite clearly, if IGN had been reviewing ME3 as a TV station and Jessica Chobot was a personality on that station, some disclosure of how much money she was paid to appear in game would have had to been made during IGN's 'perfect review'.  Perhaps the humans of 2012 should consider writing their Congressmen about updating their laws to cover these new contigencies.

Bioware didn't bother to write her any interesting lines or even provide proper direction on her voice acting. So Chobot's appearance in game can be seen as obvious payola for IGN's positive coverage. However, I am disturbed by all the nasty misogynistic criticism of her. So what the woman apparently likes to use her tongue like a salarian, that has nothing to do with what we should criticize in that situation.

Case in point: I don't hate my asari matriarch mother-in-law because she's an ex-stripper who's gone around the block a few times to advance her position, I hate her because she's incompetent in her job and because she represents an evil system that opresses our people (and a she's a total witch to Mrs Ratch too, but that's a personal thing). In the words of the human philosopher Ice-T, 'Don't hate the Playa, Hate the game'.

At the Krogan School of Business, we know that hating the game is not enough, we must all work harder to change the game.

Modifié par tamperous, 26 avril 2012 - 03:26 .

[PorcelynDoll]

Nooooooooo there's a Mrs Ratch?! Heart..bursting!

[tamperous]

PorcelynDoll wrote...

Nooooooooo there's a Mrs Ratch?! Heart..bursting!

This occurs amongst students from time to time. Hope you have a redundant circulatory system.

Resuscitation is problematic when its one of the xeno-exchange students, like human or asari. Krogan don't give mouth-to-mouth very well.

[Superstarsage]

Tuchanka-Clan your words humble me. I respect your wisdom.