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[Jooblie]

 i dont really know how else to describe this but it makes sense to me... I believe after you get hit by the Harbingers beam, you are rendered unconscious, leading you to the dream of going to the citadel, seeing anderson and the illusive man, then choosing to destroy, you are broken from the indoctrination (aka waking up where you were hit by the beam) but if you choose to control or synthesis you have becomed fully indoctrinated and dont wake up. I mean after being around the artifact (Arrival), the collectors and sovereign, something had to happen to you...