Little Vixen wrote...
I know this is a repeat from the Thane thread, but someone asked me to post this here as well.
How we could fix the storyline for Thane:
I have mainly written this for a love interest Shepard, but it could also be adapted for a friend Shepard. I wrote this as therapy for me, because I have been greatly pained at the treatment of Thane. I am sharing it with you in hopes that it will help my fellow Thanemancers and friends of Thane. I cannot hope to write the part as beautifully as Thane was done in Mass Effect 2, but I this is my humble try.
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Leave Kai Leng/Thane fight as is.
Leave Death scene as is, although, it if is possible to fix, have Shepard at least act like she is sad about Thane’s passing. LI Shepard should also get the chance to say she loves Thane.
Return to Normandy. Garrus or Liara or someone tries to comfort Shepard.
** *
New solution:
Shepard returns to Normandy. Goes to her cabin for a good cry and to reflect on Thane’s death. She finds a letter waiting for her from Feron. It simply says, “Shepard, meet me on the Citadel. Please hurry. It is important.”
***
Shepard goes to the Citadel and meets Feron.
Feron: “I have a message from Thane.”
Shepard: (distressed) “Just Stop!” (Slight pause – softly…) “Thane’s dead.”
Feron: “I still have a message from him and I …”
Shepard:(Shepard interupts with tears in her eyes) “What?!”
(Shepard looks away) “I don’t know that I can do this right now. Is it important? I suppose it is if Thane contacted you.”
(snippy tone) “What major emergency do I have to solve now when I can’t even think straight. I have lost two of my best friends in as many days.”
(regretfully) “Sorry, Feron, you didn’t deserve that.”
(Shepard looks apologetically at Feron.)
Feron: (looks at Shepard with feeling and states flatly) “No, he is not.”
Shepard: (confused) “No, who….? What are you talking about, Feron?”
Thane steps from the Shadows slowly. His steps are unsure and obviously pained.
LI Shepard is shocked and bewildered but leaps into Thane’s arms and showers him with kisses. (Friend Shepard looks at Thane in amazement and smiles.)
Feron: “I will leave you two alone and go check on Liara. It has been too long since I have seen her anyway.” (Feron turns around and leaves.)
Thane: “Siha, (pause)…I see my presence in not unwelcome.” (Thane smiles at LI Shepard.)
Shepard: Am I dreaming? You’re dead. I was there, I saw you die.
Thane: (Deep Chuckle) “Siha, do you know how much irony is dripping from your lips at this moment? Shepard, you of all people should understand that the first death is not always the final chapter.”
Shepard: (weeping)“You came back to me?”
Thane: (With feeling) “Of course, Siha. You need me now.”
Shepard: (Confused) “But, I don’t understand how? How is this not a dream?”
Thane: (reasurring) “Let me try to explain as best I can for I do not understand it clearly myself. I told you in the hospital I was not as I was. I needed constant medical treatment, which is why I could not come with you. (pause) That was true. (deep breath) I told you long ago that the Hanar had been working on adapting the Drell so that we would not succumb to Kepral’s Syndrome. The Hanar were further along than I had thought in their search for a cure. They had already started clinical trials. After you awoke me from my battle sleep, I told you that you had given me a reason to want to live. Using my contacts, I found out about the Hanar’s clinical trials. I was a perfect candidate because my disease was advanced enough that I didn’t qualify for any other treatment.”
Shepard: (slightly hurt) “Why didn’t you tell me?”
Thane: (pained) “Because, Siha, you have had enough in your life torn from your grasp. I did not want to give you a false hope. At the time you visited me in the hospital, the trial was not going well. I wasn’t responding to the treatment. I could not burden you with this truth. You have already lost so much and you need to be strong for the fight ahead. My first concern was for you. It is always for you.”
Shepard: “What changed? How can you be here now?”
Thane: “When that assassin stabbed me, I received a blood transfusion from my son Kolyat. While my cells were too weak to respond to the Hanar’s adaptive genetic code, Kolyat’s were not. I did die, Siha, for a time, but with the help of Kolyat’s blood and your love, my body started to respond to the treatment. I was sent back to you. I am weak, but I am whole again.”
Shepard: “Sent back to me? Thane, I don’t understand.”
Thane: “I will explain it further another time. For now, isn’t it enough that I have returned to you?”
Shepard: “Yes, of course.” (crying) “But, why didn’t anyone tell me? Why didn’t you notify me you were alive?
Thane: “Siha, the last thing in the world I would want to do is hurt you. But, like you, I wasn’t aware. I was dead for a time. Please, you of all people should understand this. Is this not the same reaction Kaidan/Ashley gave you on Horizon?” (Thane takes Shepard’s hands and draws her close, kissing her softly.)
Shepard:(teasing) “Oh, it really is you.” (hopeful) “Can you come with me now?”
Thane: “Yes, Siha, I will never leave you alone again. Come, Shepard. Our light will continue in spite of the growing darkness.”
Shepard Embrace and Kiss (Thane becomes a party member with a +10% automatic shield bonus when he is in the party. Bonus called “Thane’s Protection.” Possible Thane powers, Throw, Pull and Warp.)
***
Adjustment to Scene on Thessia (Asari home world at the temple) and 2nd run in with Kai Leng.
- If Thane is in the party, he charges after Kai Leng, and Kai Leng runs off at the end of the battle.
- Thane: (angry) “I will not be such an easy mark this time.”
-
- If Thane is not in the party, he sends a message to Shepard, “He was there. I knew I should have accompanied you, Siha. Are you alright?”
-
** *
Date Scene – Shepard and Thane finally get to visit that desert. (Even if it is a virtual desert on the Citadel.)
** *
Side Mission with Thane – Travel to Kahje help the Hanar to save the cure for the rest of the Drell. We now know it works and the Reapers do not want the Drell forces strengthened. A successful mission means that all Drell can now be cured of Kepral’s Syndrome and a war assest is gained.
** *
Love scene with Thane before big battle. Pillow talk afterwards.
Shepard: (loving looks at Thane) “Why did you say you were sent back to me?”
Thane: “Because I was across the sea. It is beautiful there, Shepard….(pause)
Shepard: (laughs and kisses Thane) “I don’t remember any thing from when I was dead.”
Thane: (with a knowing smile) “You will. When it is time. And, I will be there to guide you.” (Pause…with difficulty) “I saw Irikah while I was there.”
Shepard: (eyes wide looking at Thane) “Irikah?”
Thane: (comforting) “Siha, don’t be alarmed. I told you once that you were the second warrior angel I have had the privilege to know in my lifetime. My wife, Irikah was the first. “
Shepard: (slightly hurt) “You still miss her.”
Thane: (comforting) “Of course, I do. But, Shepard, while I was across the sea she gave me two gifts.”
Shepard: “I don’t understand.”
Thane: “Her first gift was her forgiveness to me.”
Shepard: (smiles) “And, her second gift?”
Thane: “It was for you, Siha. She gave her strength to you.”
Shepard: “I don’t know what to say. She must be a remarkable woman.”
Thane: “Siha, I have a weakness for remarkable women. It was her gift and her blessing. Now use it to help yourself stay strong in the face of total destruction.”
Shepard: “Are you okay?”
Thane: “Yes. She sent me back to you. You need my help and my love. I am your shield and my love for you is your protection. Use me. I will protect you with all that I am. I am here for you, Siha. Let me help you in anyway that I can.”
(Thane and Shepard embrace and kiss.)
** *
Adjustment to the last battle with Kai Leng.
If Thane is in the party – Thane delivers Kai Leng’s death blow.
If Thane is not in the party – Thane drops out of the ceiling and delivers the death blow.
Thane then starts praying over Kai Leng’s dead body.
Shepard: (snarky) “Seriously? You think this guy deserves a prayer? Killing him was a service to this galaxy. I don’t think anyone would expect you to ask for forgiveness for taking his life.”
Thane: “I am praying in thanks to him, Siha. If it hadn’t been for him fatally wounding me, and my subsequent need for a blood transfusion, I wouldn’t have been able to return to you. So, yes, he deserves a prayer. (Tenderly takes Shepard’s face and kisses her.)
** *
End Scene with the goodbyes:
Shepard: “Thane, I don’t think I can bear to lose you again. I love you too much.”
Thane: “Siha, whatever happens, know that I also love you. My love is your shield. And, should the worst come to pass, I will be waiting for you across the sea. Nothing will keep me from you. Not even death. (pause and a small laugh) Your death or mine.
(Passionate kiss)
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Thank you for reading through all this. It is my hope that it help sooth your hearts. It has helped me with mine. Thane is a worthy character to love and he deserved more in Mass Effect 3.
This is actually quite good. I would have liked this. Just reading it makes me all swoon-y. Nicely done.
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